Catch Me Chapter 2
Changmin found out that Yunho got an offer for a student exchange from Junsu.
“Eunhyuk told me. Yunho Hyung is very lucky!” Junsu said excitedly.
Junsu was going to see Yoochun after the pianist finished teaching piano to the neighborhood kids, but he met Changmin who accompanied Jaejoong in the café.
“Why, I don’t know Yunho is that smart.” Jaejoong said, took his coffee from the counter and they walked outside.
“Well, it’s for those who have lots of achievements in dancing. You know Yunho Hyung had won lots of dance competition.” Junsu said.
“But California? Isn’t that really far?” Jaejoong asked.
“Hyung, it’s Los Angeles, not California!” Junsu replied.
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “Well isn’t LA in California?”
Changmin didn’t respond, he was too busy staring at his phone. Waiting. Why Yunho didn’t tell him about it dammit. Not a single call, or just simply a text.
“Six months? You mean, like a semester? That’s a very long- wait, Changmin-ah, where are you going?” Jaejoong asked as Changmin walked away.
“Home,” Changmin didn’t stop but just turned his head to the side to answer the question, and went to his apartment.
Their apartment wasn’t far from the university. And when he arrived, Yunho wasn’t there. He didn’t have dance practice in Wednesday, so Yunho should be home earlier.
But still. It was only 1 pm. The classes usually finished at 5. Changmin held the urge to crush his phone in his hand. He knew he could contact Yunho. He knew he could just simply call him. Or text him. Or-
“Oh, Changminnie, you’re here?”
Changmin forgot to breath. His fist clenched tight.
“You’ve finished your class? I forgot my book so I-“
“You’re going?” Changmin asked abrubtly.
Yunho stopped searching in his messy pile of books. He turned and looked at his lover.
“Are you going for that student exchange?” Changmin asked again, hated how his voice trembled already. “Why don’t you tell me?”
Yunho shrugged. “Because I’m not sure yet.”
“It’s dancing. Of course you wanna do that.” Changmin said as-a-matter-of-fact-ly.
“It’s not like I’m hiding it from you, Min.” Yunho tried to explain. “I really want to talk about this but I gotta go.”
Changmin wanted to touch him. Wanted to make sure that no, they weren’t fighting. They weren’t fighting although he could feel the heat of the boiling anger in his gut. But Changmin was nailed in his spot and Yunho didn’t walk closer to him either to give him a kiss on his forehead like he usually did before he went.
Yunho left the apartment with his book.
*
Yoochun asked for a cigarette when they were outside the building and Jaejoong gave him one. “Out of stock?” Jaejoong asked.
“Junsu hates me smoking.” Yoochun said, burned the edge of the cigarette. “Tried to stop, but kinda hard.”
“Then you shouldn’t stop at all.” Jaejoong exhaled the white smoke.
“He doesn’t ask me to stop either. But I can see it from his face.” Yoochun said. “I just want to do something for him.”
Jaejoong hummed. Didn’t understand this kind of couple thingy but said nothing.
“Oppa, hello,” a girl with long black hair gave a bow to Yoochun. “Oh, hello, sunbae-nim,” she bowed to Jaejoong after she noticed he was there.
“Hello,” Yoochun smiled to her. “Going home?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Amber is still in the music room, I think.”
“Okay. See you.” Yoochun said. “Be careful.”
“Yes, see you, Oppa.” She waved to him and left.
“You know her?” Jaejoong asked.
“My sister’s friend. She visited our home quite often.” Yoochun said, flicked the cigarette and the dust fell off.
Jaejoong’s eyes followed the dust to the ground. “You have a sister, huh,” he tried to say casually. Tried not to bring suspicion.
Yoochun scoffed. “I can’t believe you forgot about that!”
Jaejoong let out a laugh. “Just want to make sure.”
Yoochun nodded. “Amber.”
“Right.” Jaejoong cleared his throat. He wanted to look at a mirror so he could control his expression as well. “How is she?”
“She… likes rapping. Pretty good at it, I think.” Yoochun said.
Jaejoong bit his lip, tried not to scream out; ‘my Amber likes to rap gooooosshh how cool is that? “Boyfriend, no?” Jaejoong’s heart started to pound for silly reason.
“She’s into girl, I guess.”
Jaejoong almost choked on his cigarette.
Yoochun didn’t realize that.
“That… that girl just now… her girlfriend?” Jaejoong asked.
Yoochun shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe not.”
“Hahaha…” Jaejoong’s laugh was empty.
“Maybe yes.” Yoochun continued.
*
Yunho shouldn’t have gone. Changmin wasn’t home after his classes finished. The younger had his choir practice that day, and like usual, he patiently waited. And once Changmin got home, he was all damn tired and everything that disturbed his mind angered him tenfold.
“You hungry? I can make you sandwich.” Yunho offered.
Changmin shook his head and sat on the sofa. Face gloomy.
“Tired?” Yunho asked again, sat next to him.
Changmin wished he would sit closer. “I want to talk.”
“Sure.” Yunho secretly liked this side of Changmin. How the younger let out their problems, not to keep it in their heart, made them both frustrated. It was better to talk it out. But still, at times, it scared Yunho all the same. The serious talk could lead to many serious things.
“Are you going for that student exchange?” Changmin didn’t dare to look at his lover. So he looked straight emptily to the wall in front of him.
“The form is due next week.” Yunho said.
“But still, you have to make the decision.” Changmin hated how Yunho didn’t answer right away. “Now.” Changmin added.
Yunho said nothing.
“Are you going?” Changmin hated how much he already said that same question.
“It’s eight months.” Yunho stated. Not answering Changmin’s question, but gave him the reason why he didn’t answer rightaway.
Changmin got a shock, and he finally looked at the older man. “Junsu said it’s only for a semester!”
“They saw my video… want me to stay longer. And they said they’re looking forward for recruitment.” Yunho said. “That’s why I couldn’t make the decision that easy.”
“You mean… you’re gonna stay there?” Changmin’s tone went slower and quieter. And he disliked the fact of how weak he sounded.
“I don’t know yet, Changmin.” Yunho’s elbows were rested on his thigh, face in his palms.
“But… it’s something you always want, right?” Changmin’s tone was flat.
“It’s a very great opportunity, yes.” Yunho replied.
Changmin wanted to support Yunho. Take it, Yunho. Go catch your dreams. He just couldn’t say those words. But he couldn’t ask him to stay. He didn’t want to admit that he was afraid Yunho would leave him. But he didn’t want to be the clingy boyfriend who interfered with Yunho’s big dream.
And he was a coward for holding himself to say, don’t leave. Don’t leave me Yunho.
“What you gonna do, then?” Changmin asked, voice small.
“I…”
“Have you called your parents?”
“Just now. But you know my father. And my mother said that I should do whatever I want to do.”
Changmin bit his lip. “So what is your decision?”
“Aren’t you gonna say something about it?” Yunho looked at his lover.
Changmin couldn’t look back. “What do you want me to say?”
“Whatever you want to say. Say it.” Yunho said desperately, somehow begging. For his lover to say something.
Changmin’s hands were cold. “I think your mother’s right.” His lips felt dry. “It’s your life anyway. You’re the one who have the right to make the decision.”
Silence fell between them.
“What about you then?” Yunho’s eyes were soft and he looked tired.
“What about me?” Changmin repeated slowly.
“What about us?”
*
“He didn’t say anything!” Changmin wiped his unstoppable disgusting snot.
“Then why did you ask to break up at the first place?” Junsu asked patiently, gave the younger another tissue.
“Because it’s a fucking long distance relationship and you know it’s hard! It won’t work for us! And what if he should stay there longer? Then I can’t see him anymore!” Changmin said between his sobs.
“But you can try to work it out, right? You don’t know yet, Min,” Junsu said, rubbed Changmin’s back to calm him down.
“But you see, Hyung? He didn’t even ask for it! He didn’t ask to try! He didn’t want to keep our relationship!” Changmin crushed the tissue in his hand.
Junsu didn’t know what to say. He stood in front of the younger who was crying, tried to block him just in case somebody got in that empty class. Changmin was sitting on the table, his tall body shook with every sob.
Changmin denied regretting his decision to break up. It took two in a relationship. If he said they should break up, and Yunho agreed, then well, they should end it. But, Yunho didn’t stop him from ending it, dammit! It wasn’t his fault giving up! It wasn’t his fault only. Changmin didn’t want to work hard in this relationship alone, if Yunho didn’t want to give a try on them.
After a while, Changmin was calm enough but his eyes were red and he looked away to the window. “He said okay.”
“What?” Junsu looked at the younger man confusedly.
“When I said, let’s break up,” a single tear fell down from his doe eyes. “He said okay.”
*
“What are you doing here?” Jaejoong asked once he opened door.
Yunho said nothing but got in his apartment.
“Why you here?” Jaejoong asked again. “It’s 6 in the morning, Yunho! You interrupt my beauty sleep…” he laid on the bed and pulled the cover.
Yunho turned off the lamps. Jaejoong said nothing and Yunho thought that he was sleeping.
But he wasn’t. “Ya, what happened?” his voice was sleepy.
Yunho took a seat on the chair near to the bed. “I broke up with Changmin.”
It was silent for quite a moment.
“So I need you to let me stay here. At least until I go to LA.”
“… okay.”
“Thank you, Jae.” Yunho really felt grateful that Jaejoong didn’t patronize him with questions. Maybe the man was still sleepy.
“Don’t mention it.” Jaejoong shifted in his bed, tried to find a comfier position to continue his sleeping. “Yun,”
“Hmm?”
“LA is in California, right?”
*
It was awkward because they were always together. But Yunho started to avoid them when they were with Changmin. And when the younger saw Yunho was with Junsu or Yoochun or Jaejoong, he didn’t come to them.
Yunho took his things when Changmin was still in his campus. He texted him and Changmin deleted it after reading.
And Changmin hated, hated it that he couldn’t sleep without Yunho. How he still could smell the older man’s scent when he wasn’t there. The bed was empty and cold and Changmin cried at night. He changed the sheet the next day. Along with the pillow. And his shampoo and soap they used to share together. Although peach was Changmin’s favorite scent and Yunho just agreed along with it, he absentmindedly changed them to strawberry. But then Changmin remembered Yunho loved strawberry.
He took the vanilla scent.
Yunho was the one who turned off the alarm clock and woke him up. The older would take a shower while Changmin made the breakfast. And Changmin couldn’t hate himself more when he made two cups of coffee.
What the fuck Shim.
Changmin didn’t cry anymore. He forbid himself to, after Junsu casually asked Jaejoong.
“Did Yunho Hyung say something about the break up?”
“No.”
In the other hand, Changmin had cried his eyes out in front of Junsu.
And he convinced himself, that it was nice to have the place for himself. He didn’t have to clean after the older man’s mess. He didn’t have to cook for two meals. He just realized how burdensome it was to take care of another person when you were struggling with your life.
*
“He’s leaving today,” Jaejoong said.
Changmin pretended like he didn’t hear that and continued to copy the paragraph from the book in the library.
“I’m talking to you.”
“I know.” Changmin said, hands were still busy. “There’s nobody else in here.”
“Yoochun and Junsu drove him to the airport.”
Changmin said nothing. Junsu told him that Yunho moved to his house for the last week before he went to LA. Yunho used to stay in Junsu’s anyway. The Kim’s family knew him well and liked him so much, couldn’t be happier when Yunho was there. And when Changmin said nothing about his ex lover, Junsu didn’t talk about him anymore. He didn’t tell Changmin when Yunho would leave.
“Wanna go and say goodbye?” Jaejoong asked.
“What about you?” Changmin asked.
“I already have. We had a little farewell party yesterday night.”
Changmin didn’t get the invitation. Well of course he didn’t.
“Do you want to go?” Jaejoong asked again. “You won’t see him for a while, Min.”
Changmin stopped writing.
Yunho sent him a text last night. Changmin deleted it right away, didn’t bother to read. He didn’t want Yunho to enter his mind anymore. He tried so hard pushing him out, how could he easily walked in and hurt his heart again? Changmin didn’t want to waver for him.
“You’re not gonna miss him?” Jaejoong asked. “I miss him already.”
*
“You sure you’ve bring everything, Hyung?” Junsu asked as they arrived in the airport.
“Pretty sure.” Yunho said, pulled his luggage. “Just ship me the cd player okay.”
“Okay,” Junsu nodded. “Jae Hyung isn’t coming?”
“He said he’ll come.” Yoochun checked his phone.
“Oh! Is that my flight?” Yunho asked, and three of them were listening to the caller.
“Ah, that’s yours, Hyung.” Yoochun said after he checked Yunho’s flight ticket.
“Okay, then. I should be going now.” Yunho sighed. “I’m gonna miss you, guys.” He hugged Junsu and Yoochun.
“Me too, Hyung,” Yoochun patted Yunho’s back. “Don’t get into a fight there, okay. The fact that you’re from Gwangju won’t impress them.” He teased.
“Yeah, I bet they don’t know where Gwangju is.” Yunho rolled his eyes. “Bye, Chun-ah. Please take care of our Junsu.”
“Of course, Hyung.”
They hugged one last time before Yunho walked away and waved to them.
“Don’t forget to contact us, okay!” Junsu said.
Yunho gave his thumb up, and smiled before gone to the boarding room.
“Why’s Jaejoong not coming?” Junsu asked as they walked back to their car.
“Don’t know… he said he’ll be here.” Yoochun said. “Let’s have a cup of coffee first before leaving.”
Junsu pouted.
“I know you’re eyeing this cheesecake when we walked in.” Yoochun brought them to a café.
“But you know I’m on diet.” Junsu said, but let Yoochun paid for his cheesecake anyway.
“That’s why I only buy one. So we can share and you only eat half.” Yoochun said.
But in the end Yoochun let Junsu ate it all, felt content seeing his boyfriend happily munch the cake, a quiet melodious hum came out when he wasn’t busy eating.
Junsu fed him the last spoon and they exchanged a smile.
“Where’s Yunho?”
They looked up to the person who just came.
“He had left for a while. Where were you, Hy- Min!” Yoochun didn’t expect to see the younger man behind Jaejoong.
“He left?” Jaejoong’s eyes widened.
“Yeah, like… thirty minutes ago.” Yoochun stood up from his seat. “Why are you so late?”
Jaejoong silently gave a glance to Changmin.
Yoochun understood and looked at Junsu, who was biting his lip nervously. “So… uhm, Min…”
“It’s okay.” Changmin said. “He left. So what.”
Jaejoong looked around. “He really left, right? He won’t… dramatically show up from-“
Yoochun gave Jaejoong a glare to shut him up.
“Right. It’s only on movies.” Jaejoong nodded. “So… should we go home now, Min?”
“Can I-“ Changmin’s breath hitched and he cleared his throat. “Go to the bathroom first.”
*
changmin ah, i’ll be leaving tomorrow at 11. just wanna say goodbye :)
please be healthy, take care of urself well & ur clumsy hyungs ^^
wish me luck, min ♥
Send to: Shim Changmin
22.03
Yunho read his text one last time, sighed as he typed another message to the same person.
i’m leaving now… goodbye min
Yunho was staring emptily to his phone, before finally deleted the message, turned off his phone and boarded the plane.
“Eunhyuk told me. Yunho Hyung is very lucky!” Junsu said excitedly.
Junsu was going to see Yoochun after the pianist finished teaching piano to the neighborhood kids, but he met Changmin who accompanied Jaejoong in the café.
“Why, I don’t know Yunho is that smart.” Jaejoong said, took his coffee from the counter and they walked outside.
“Well, it’s for those who have lots of achievements in dancing. You know Yunho Hyung had won lots of dance competition.” Junsu said.
“But California? Isn’t that really far?” Jaejoong asked.
“Hyung, it’s Los Angeles, not California!” Junsu replied.
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “Well isn’t LA in California?”
Changmin didn’t respond, he was too busy staring at his phone. Waiting. Why Yunho didn’t tell him about it dammit. Not a single call, or just simply a text.
“Six months? You mean, like a semester? That’s a very long- wait, Changmin-ah, where are you going?” Jaejoong asked as Changmin walked away.
“Home,” Changmin didn’t stop but just turned his head to the side to answer the question, and went to his apartment.
Their apartment wasn’t far from the university. And when he arrived, Yunho wasn’t there. He didn’t have dance practice in Wednesday, so Yunho should be home earlier.
But still. It was only 1 pm. The classes usually finished at 5. Changmin held the urge to crush his phone in his hand. He knew he could contact Yunho. He knew he could just simply call him. Or text him. Or-
“Oh, Changminnie, you’re here?”
Changmin forgot to breath. His fist clenched tight.
“You’ve finished your class? I forgot my book so I-“
“You’re going?” Changmin asked abrubtly.
Yunho stopped searching in his messy pile of books. He turned and looked at his lover.
“Are you going for that student exchange?” Changmin asked again, hated how his voice trembled already. “Why don’t you tell me?”
Yunho shrugged. “Because I’m not sure yet.”
“It’s dancing. Of course you wanna do that.” Changmin said as-a-matter-of-fact-ly.
“It’s not like I’m hiding it from you, Min.” Yunho tried to explain. “I really want to talk about this but I gotta go.”
Changmin wanted to touch him. Wanted to make sure that no, they weren’t fighting. They weren’t fighting although he could feel the heat of the boiling anger in his gut. But Changmin was nailed in his spot and Yunho didn’t walk closer to him either to give him a kiss on his forehead like he usually did before he went.
Yunho left the apartment with his book.
*
Yoochun asked for a cigarette when they were outside the building and Jaejoong gave him one. “Out of stock?” Jaejoong asked.
“Junsu hates me smoking.” Yoochun said, burned the edge of the cigarette. “Tried to stop, but kinda hard.”
“Then you shouldn’t stop at all.” Jaejoong exhaled the white smoke.
“He doesn’t ask me to stop either. But I can see it from his face.” Yoochun said. “I just want to do something for him.”
Jaejoong hummed. Didn’t understand this kind of couple thingy but said nothing.
“Oppa, hello,” a girl with long black hair gave a bow to Yoochun. “Oh, hello, sunbae-nim,” she bowed to Jaejoong after she noticed he was there.
“Hello,” Yoochun smiled to her. “Going home?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Amber is still in the music room, I think.”
“Okay. See you.” Yoochun said. “Be careful.”
“Yes, see you, Oppa.” She waved to him and left.
“You know her?” Jaejoong asked.
“My sister’s friend. She visited our home quite often.” Yoochun said, flicked the cigarette and the dust fell off.
Jaejoong’s eyes followed the dust to the ground. “You have a sister, huh,” he tried to say casually. Tried not to bring suspicion.
Yoochun scoffed. “I can’t believe you forgot about that!”
Jaejoong let out a laugh. “Just want to make sure.”
Yoochun nodded. “Amber.”
“Right.” Jaejoong cleared his throat. He wanted to look at a mirror so he could control his expression as well. “How is she?”
“She… likes rapping. Pretty good at it, I think.” Yoochun said.
Jaejoong bit his lip, tried not to scream out; ‘my Amber likes to rap gooooosshh how cool is that? “Boyfriend, no?” Jaejoong’s heart started to pound for silly reason.
“She’s into girl, I guess.”
Jaejoong almost choked on his cigarette.
Yoochun didn’t realize that.
“That… that girl just now… her girlfriend?” Jaejoong asked.
Yoochun shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe not.”
“Hahaha…” Jaejoong’s laugh was empty.
“Maybe yes.” Yoochun continued.
*
Yunho shouldn’t have gone. Changmin wasn’t home after his classes finished. The younger had his choir practice that day, and like usual, he patiently waited. And once Changmin got home, he was all damn tired and everything that disturbed his mind angered him tenfold.
“You hungry? I can make you sandwich.” Yunho offered.
Changmin shook his head and sat on the sofa. Face gloomy.
“Tired?” Yunho asked again, sat next to him.
Changmin wished he would sit closer. “I want to talk.”
“Sure.” Yunho secretly liked this side of Changmin. How the younger let out their problems, not to keep it in their heart, made them both frustrated. It was better to talk it out. But still, at times, it scared Yunho all the same. The serious talk could lead to many serious things.
“Are you going for that student exchange?” Changmin didn’t dare to look at his lover. So he looked straight emptily to the wall in front of him.
“The form is due next week.” Yunho said.
“But still, you have to make the decision.” Changmin hated how Yunho didn’t answer right away. “Now.” Changmin added.
Yunho said nothing.
“Are you going?” Changmin hated how much he already said that same question.
“It’s eight months.” Yunho stated. Not answering Changmin’s question, but gave him the reason why he didn’t answer rightaway.
Changmin got a shock, and he finally looked at the older man. “Junsu said it’s only for a semester!”
“They saw my video… want me to stay longer. And they said they’re looking forward for recruitment.” Yunho said. “That’s why I couldn’t make the decision that easy.”
“You mean… you’re gonna stay there?” Changmin’s tone went slower and quieter. And he disliked the fact of how weak he sounded.
“I don’t know yet, Changmin.” Yunho’s elbows were rested on his thigh, face in his palms.
“But… it’s something you always want, right?” Changmin’s tone was flat.
“It’s a very great opportunity, yes.” Yunho replied.
Changmin wanted to support Yunho. Take it, Yunho. Go catch your dreams. He just couldn’t say those words. But he couldn’t ask him to stay. He didn’t want to admit that he was afraid Yunho would leave him. But he didn’t want to be the clingy boyfriend who interfered with Yunho’s big dream.
And he was a coward for holding himself to say, don’t leave. Don’t leave me Yunho.
“What you gonna do, then?” Changmin asked, voice small.
“I…”
“Have you called your parents?”
“Just now. But you know my father. And my mother said that I should do whatever I want to do.”
Changmin bit his lip. “So what is your decision?”
“Aren’t you gonna say something about it?” Yunho looked at his lover.
Changmin couldn’t look back. “What do you want me to say?”
“Whatever you want to say. Say it.” Yunho said desperately, somehow begging. For his lover to say something.
Changmin’s hands were cold. “I think your mother’s right.” His lips felt dry. “It’s your life anyway. You’re the one who have the right to make the decision.”
Silence fell between them.
“What about you then?” Yunho’s eyes were soft and he looked tired.
“What about me?” Changmin repeated slowly.
“What about us?”
*
“He didn’t say anything!” Changmin wiped his unstoppable disgusting snot.
“Then why did you ask to break up at the first place?” Junsu asked patiently, gave the younger another tissue.
“Because it’s a fucking long distance relationship and you know it’s hard! It won’t work for us! And what if he should stay there longer? Then I can’t see him anymore!” Changmin said between his sobs.
“But you can try to work it out, right? You don’t know yet, Min,” Junsu said, rubbed Changmin’s back to calm him down.
“But you see, Hyung? He didn’t even ask for it! He didn’t ask to try! He didn’t want to keep our relationship!” Changmin crushed the tissue in his hand.
Junsu didn’t know what to say. He stood in front of the younger who was crying, tried to block him just in case somebody got in that empty class. Changmin was sitting on the table, his tall body shook with every sob.
Changmin denied regretting his decision to break up. It took two in a relationship. If he said they should break up, and Yunho agreed, then well, they should end it. But, Yunho didn’t stop him from ending it, dammit! It wasn’t his fault giving up! It wasn’t his fault only. Changmin didn’t want to work hard in this relationship alone, if Yunho didn’t want to give a try on them.
After a while, Changmin was calm enough but his eyes were red and he looked away to the window. “He said okay.”
“What?” Junsu looked at the younger man confusedly.
“When I said, let’s break up,” a single tear fell down from his doe eyes. “He said okay.”
*
“What are you doing here?” Jaejoong asked once he opened door.
Yunho said nothing but got in his apartment.
“Why you here?” Jaejoong asked again. “It’s 6 in the morning, Yunho! You interrupt my beauty sleep…” he laid on the bed and pulled the cover.
Yunho turned off the lamps. Jaejoong said nothing and Yunho thought that he was sleeping.
But he wasn’t. “Ya, what happened?” his voice was sleepy.
Yunho took a seat on the chair near to the bed. “I broke up with Changmin.”
It was silent for quite a moment.
“So I need you to let me stay here. At least until I go to LA.”
“… okay.”
“Thank you, Jae.” Yunho really felt grateful that Jaejoong didn’t patronize him with questions. Maybe the man was still sleepy.
“Don’t mention it.” Jaejoong shifted in his bed, tried to find a comfier position to continue his sleeping. “Yun,”
“Hmm?”
“LA is in California, right?”
*
It was awkward because they were always together. But Yunho started to avoid them when they were with Changmin. And when the younger saw Yunho was with Junsu or Yoochun or Jaejoong, he didn’t come to them.
Yunho took his things when Changmin was still in his campus. He texted him and Changmin deleted it after reading.
And Changmin hated, hated it that he couldn’t sleep without Yunho. How he still could smell the older man’s scent when he wasn’t there. The bed was empty and cold and Changmin cried at night. He changed the sheet the next day. Along with the pillow. And his shampoo and soap they used to share together. Although peach was Changmin’s favorite scent and Yunho just agreed along with it, he absentmindedly changed them to strawberry. But then Changmin remembered Yunho loved strawberry.
He took the vanilla scent.
Yunho was the one who turned off the alarm clock and woke him up. The older would take a shower while Changmin made the breakfast. And Changmin couldn’t hate himself more when he made two cups of coffee.
What the fuck Shim.
Changmin didn’t cry anymore. He forbid himself to, after Junsu casually asked Jaejoong.
“Did Yunho Hyung say something about the break up?”
“No.”
In the other hand, Changmin had cried his eyes out in front of Junsu.
And he convinced himself, that it was nice to have the place for himself. He didn’t have to clean after the older man’s mess. He didn’t have to cook for two meals. He just realized how burdensome it was to take care of another person when you were struggling with your life.
*
“He’s leaving today,” Jaejoong said.
Changmin pretended like he didn’t hear that and continued to copy the paragraph from the book in the library.
“I’m talking to you.”
“I know.” Changmin said, hands were still busy. “There’s nobody else in here.”
“Yoochun and Junsu drove him to the airport.”
Changmin said nothing. Junsu told him that Yunho moved to his house for the last week before he went to LA. Yunho used to stay in Junsu’s anyway. The Kim’s family knew him well and liked him so much, couldn’t be happier when Yunho was there. And when Changmin said nothing about his ex lover, Junsu didn’t talk about him anymore. He didn’t tell Changmin when Yunho would leave.
“Wanna go and say goodbye?” Jaejoong asked.
“What about you?” Changmin asked.
“I already have. We had a little farewell party yesterday night.”
Changmin didn’t get the invitation. Well of course he didn’t.
“Do you want to go?” Jaejoong asked again. “You won’t see him for a while, Min.”
Changmin stopped writing.
Yunho sent him a text last night. Changmin deleted it right away, didn’t bother to read. He didn’t want Yunho to enter his mind anymore. He tried so hard pushing him out, how could he easily walked in and hurt his heart again? Changmin didn’t want to waver for him.
“You’re not gonna miss him?” Jaejoong asked. “I miss him already.”
*
“You sure you’ve bring everything, Hyung?” Junsu asked as they arrived in the airport.
“Pretty sure.” Yunho said, pulled his luggage. “Just ship me the cd player okay.”
“Okay,” Junsu nodded. “Jae Hyung isn’t coming?”
“He said he’ll come.” Yoochun checked his phone.
“Oh! Is that my flight?” Yunho asked, and three of them were listening to the caller.
“Ah, that’s yours, Hyung.” Yoochun said after he checked Yunho’s flight ticket.
“Okay, then. I should be going now.” Yunho sighed. “I’m gonna miss you, guys.” He hugged Junsu and Yoochun.
“Me too, Hyung,” Yoochun patted Yunho’s back. “Don’t get into a fight there, okay. The fact that you’re from Gwangju won’t impress them.” He teased.
“Yeah, I bet they don’t know where Gwangju is.” Yunho rolled his eyes. “Bye, Chun-ah. Please take care of our Junsu.”
“Of course, Hyung.”
They hugged one last time before Yunho walked away and waved to them.
“Don’t forget to contact us, okay!” Junsu said.
Yunho gave his thumb up, and smiled before gone to the boarding room.
“Why’s Jaejoong not coming?” Junsu asked as they walked back to their car.
“Don’t know… he said he’ll be here.” Yoochun said. “Let’s have a cup of coffee first before leaving.”
Junsu pouted.
“I know you’re eyeing this cheesecake when we walked in.” Yoochun brought them to a café.
“But you know I’m on diet.” Junsu said, but let Yoochun paid for his cheesecake anyway.
“That’s why I only buy one. So we can share and you only eat half.” Yoochun said.
But in the end Yoochun let Junsu ate it all, felt content seeing his boyfriend happily munch the cake, a quiet melodious hum came out when he wasn’t busy eating.
Junsu fed him the last spoon and they exchanged a smile.
“Where’s Yunho?”
They looked up to the person who just came.
“He had left for a while. Where were you, Hy- Min!” Yoochun didn’t expect to see the younger man behind Jaejoong.
“He left?” Jaejoong’s eyes widened.
“Yeah, like… thirty minutes ago.” Yoochun stood up from his seat. “Why are you so late?”
Jaejoong silently gave a glance to Changmin.
Yoochun understood and looked at Junsu, who was biting his lip nervously. “So… uhm, Min…”
“It’s okay.” Changmin said. “He left. So what.”
Jaejoong looked around. “He really left, right? He won’t… dramatically show up from-“
Yoochun gave Jaejoong a glare to shut him up.
“Right. It’s only on movies.” Jaejoong nodded. “So… should we go home now, Min?”
“Can I-“ Changmin’s breath hitched and he cleared his throat. “Go to the bathroom first.”
*
changmin ah, i’ll be leaving tomorrow at 11. just wanna say goodbye :)
please be healthy, take care of urself well & ur clumsy hyungs ^^
wish me luck, min ♥
Send to: Shim Changmin
22.03
Yunho read his text one last time, sighed as he typed another message to the same person.
i’m leaving now… goodbye min
Yunho was staring emptily to his phone, before finally deleted the message, turned off his phone and boarded the plane.