Off Road Chapter 3
They held the engagement party at Yunho’s house. There weren’t many guests, to Yunho’s likings, since his house wasn’t that big anyway.
Yunho looked at his reflection on the mirror. He wore cotton shirt and maroon suit. He tried his best not to look… inadequate in front of people. Well, Changmin, particularly. The man had agreed to this engagement, and Yunho didn’t want to disappoint him.
“Omo, look at you…” Mrs Jung was on the door.
“Umma…”
“Oh Yunho, you look really handsome…” Mrs Jung put her hands on Yunho’s shoulder.
Yunho patted his mother’s hand.
Mrs Jung smiled through the mirror to him. “Please be happy, Yunho.”
Yunho was a bit afraid heard that word. Happiness.
Mrs Jung leaned to kiss his cheek. “Come on, son, the Shims are already here.”
Changmin was wearing sleek black suit with black shirt and golden necktie. He cut his hair shorter, it looked neater and made him looked really masculine. He was talking to someone Mr Jung just introduced him.
“Hey, Hyung,” Yoochun greeted him.
Yunho quickly turned his gaze away from Changmin. “Oh, Chun-ah… you’re here?”
“What, I’m not invited?” Yoochun narrowed his eyes. Mr Park, Yoochun’s father was one of Mr Jung’s alliances in military. Of course they were invited.
Yunho just laughed.
“Hyung, so where’s this Shim’s son you’re gonna married, huh?”
“There,” Yunho pointed to Changmin’s direction. “Oh, he’s talking to your father.”
“Oh, he’s gorgeous.” Yoochun commented as he saw Changmin.
“He is.” Yunho smiled.
“But does he like you?” Yoochun asked.
“What?”
Yoochun looked at Yunho. “Does he like you? Do you like him? Why are you getting engaged, then?”
Yunho should be able to answer that question. “Um, I gotta go for a while, Chun-ah. Sorry.” He walked through the crowding guests on the door, greeted one or two person he knew, before finally reached the garden, located at the back of the house, it was quite dark since there was no lighting. Lucky for Yunho, no one was there. He needed some fresh air. He needed to breathe.
Changmin was gorgeous. He was a good man, Yunho believed. But… he just not him. Not the one Yunho wanted. But he could, Changmin could be, and Yunho would change his mindset. He was willing to do that. But what about Changmin? Was he willing to do that as well? Would he try to learn, to love Yunho?
The answer was obvious.
No.
Changmin already had someone. Yunho knew that. But the younger man was doing a great job with his poker face on. It was somehow… hurt, knew that Changmin could be that… nice, kind, sweet… loving, to someone, but not Yunho.
Yunho took a deep sigh, and tried to calm his mind.
“Oppa…”
Yunho startled and turned. “O- oh… Minah… what are you doing here?”
“Oppa, are you really… gonna marry that man?” Minah’s voice was small and unconfident, unlike her usual energetic voice.
“Minah, I just… have to do this, okay.” Yunho replied, tried to make her understand.
“But Oppa…” Minah slowly looked up at his eyes. “Do you love him?”
Yunho shrugged. He could see sadness in Minah’s teary eyes. “Minah…”
“Oppa, are you gonna be happy with him?” Minah asked again.
Yunho didn’t know what to do with the girl in front of him.
“But Oppa, I love you.” Came the innocent confession from the girl.
Yunho knew Minah had a crush on him, but… it still surprised him. “Listen, Minah-“
“Oppa, I know I shouldn’t say this,” Minah sobbed and wiped her tears from her cheek. “But I just want to let you know… that I can make you happy… I want you to know that… because maybe, maybe you will look at me as a woman…”
Minah was still a little sister in Yunho’s eyes.
“Minah! What are you doing here?” Siwon came to his little sister. “I’m sorry, Yunho. Minah, let’s leave.”
“No!” Minah yanked her hand away from Siwon. “Oppa! Stop treating me like a kid!”
“Choi Minah, you’re being childish right now! Don’t ashamed yourself in front of Yunho!” Siwon hissed.
“Why Oppa? Is loving someone is wrong? Is it shameful?! Why can’t I say it!” Minah cried as he pushed Siwon away.
“Minah, listen to me!” Siwon held Minah’s hand tighter.
“Stop it, Oppa, you’re hurting me!” Minah tried to break her brother’s hold.
“Siwon,” Yunho held Siwon’s hand. “Let go. It’s fine.”
Siwon stepped back. Minah cried harder and Yunho sighed. “Minah, don’t cry, okay?” he wiped her tears. “I’m getting engaged to Shim Changmin, and that is my decision. It doesn’t matter whether I love him or not, but I’m going to be his fiancé, and he will be mine.”
Siwon stood still, while Minah still let out pitiful sobs.
“Don’t cry. You are a beautiful girl, and in time, there will be men waiting in line for you.” Yunho held Minah’s face.
“But I want you, Oppa…” Minah muttered.
“I’m not for you. And you’re not for me. You will find someone who will treat you right and make you happy.” Yunho said. “Now listen to your Oppa, Minah. He has been taking care of you, don’t make it harder for him, okay?”
Minah was still crying quietly, but calmed a bit.
“Promise me you will be a nice girl to your Oppa, and listen to him well.” Yunho searched for Minah’s eyes. “Okay?”
Minah nodded a bit.
“Okay.” Yunho pulled Minah into a hug. “Thank you for loving me, Minah.” He let go of the hug. “Now go to your Oppa.”
Yunho looked as Siwon held Minah’s hand and went inside. And when he turned around, Changmin was there.
They exchanged gaze, nobody knew for how long, until finally Changmin spoke up. “Your mother told me to get you here.”
“She did?” Yunho broke the gaze as he walked to the door.
“Yes. We’re getting started.”
*
They gathered the guests, and Changmin didn’t know what and who was saying words. He could catch some like “perfect couple” and “look good together” or even that stupid naïve word: love.
His mind snapped back to reality when somebody called his name.
“Changmin, you can kiss him now.”
Changmin didn’t know who was talking. His mind wandered around, he could see faces in the crowd. Mr Park, a man Mr Jung introduced him before. Or Mrs Kim, his father’s old fried. Was that Yuri in the left? Changmin kinda thought he didn’t see her sister for a quite long time. And there was… who was that? Minah? Her face could be seen between tall shoulders of the men in front of him.
“Changmin?”
“No.” Changmin said. In his ear, it was like someone else was talking, not him.
“Son?” Mrs Shim touched his shoulder.
“We don’t have to.” Changmin looked at the man in front of him. Yunho’s hand was still in his, after they exchanged the gold ring. He couldn’t read Yunho’s expression.
“Right, Changmin-sshi. It’s not necessary.” Yunho pulled his hand from Changmin’s.
*
It was almost midnight when the newly engaged couple went back to their apartment. He could feel Changmin’s bare shoulder brushed against his when the younger man slipped under the bed.
“Do you hate me that much?” Yunho blurted out to the empty air.
Changmin stiffened, before he turned to face Yunho. “I don’t hate you.”
“Why didn’t you kiss me?” Yunho’s chest was heaving. He felt stupid saying it, but he couldn’t help but just let it all out. “Are you disgusted? Then why did you agree to the engagement?”
“I didn’t kiss you because Minah was there.” Changmin said after a deep sigh.
Yunho’s brain stopped working. “What..?”
“I didn’t kiss you because your little admirer was watching. What do you expect me to do, break her heart after you already did? You rejected her and you want me to kiss you in front of her?” Changmin used his left elbow as leverage to hold his upper body up, facing Yunho.
Yunho turned to see the man beside him quietly.
“If you want a kiss, I can give you one now.”
Yunho couldn’t see Changmin’s face clear enough in the darkness. But he could figure the outline of his jaw and nose. “You… saw her watching?”
“All teary eyes and sad face, yes I did.” Changmin acknowledged.
Fuck. Yunho didn’t expect that. So… Changmin saw Minah? Well, Yunho didn’t even think about that. Of course Minah was there. He didn’t know Changmin could be so… thoughtful. This man had a heart, huh, Yunho thought. He hated himself for his quick temper and being childish, how could he snap just like that to his fiancé?!
He could hear the blanket pulled and the bed shifted. Changmin was back to his lying position.
“I have to be at the campus at 8 tomorrow. Are you going to the academy?”
“Yes.” Yunho whispered.
“Okay. I’ll drive you there.”
“Thank you.”
*
Yunho sat on the back seat with Siwon next to him.
“Now your turn, Yunho!” Siwon said cheerfully. “Close your eyes… no peeking!”
Yunho giggled. “Okay, okay…” he closed his eyes.
“Now, guessed the number!” Siwon grinned.
“Hmm… four!”
“Daeng! Seven!” Siwon showed his seven fingers to Yunho.
“What are you guys playing?” Mr Choi asked as he drove.
“Try to guess the number, Mr Choi!” Yunho said. “It’s so hard. None of us had answer it right…”
Mr Choi laughed. “It’s easy, little boy. I can even do that while driving.”
“Appa, you lie! You lie!” Siwon pointed his fingers to his father.
“I can!” Mr Choi said. “Come on, test me.”
Yunho hummed. ”Okay. Now… how many fingers?!”
“Three!” Mr Choi answered.
“Appa, you’re correct!” Siwon said amazedly. “Now let me try. How many fingers?”
“Seven!” Mr Choi answered.
“Whoa, Mr Choi! Daebak!!” Yunho jumped in his seat. “Guessed mine again! How many, now?”
“Ahh… it’s seems a bit difficult now…” Mr Choi mumbled playfully, made the kids giggled. “One! Is that right, little Jung?”
“Oooohh, Appa, how can you guess them right?” Siwon asked.
Yunho looked to the front, and he caught Mr Choi’s eyes… in the rearview mirror. “Mr Choi! You’re cheating! You can see us from the mirror, right?”
Mr Choi just laughed.
“Come on, Siwon. Test Mr Choi again! I’ll cover his eyes.” Yunho moved closer on his seat, stretched his little arms to the driver’s seat.
“No, no, Yunho, I’m driving!” Mr Choi said as he held Yunho’s hand with his.
“Hurry Siwon!” Yunho said, as he made sure Mr Choi couldn’t see.
“Appa, how many fingers now?”
*
“…ho-sshi! Yunho-sshi!!”
Yunho jerked awoke, gasping for air. Cold sweat rolled his forehead and sideburns. He felt nauseous and his heart was beating like crazy.
The light on the bedside table turned on, illuminated Changmin’s worried eyes, looking at him.
It was so clear in his head. The blinding yellow light, before it turned red, then he fell to the pitch black. The car crash. It was because of him. He did it. He killed Mr Choi. He made Siwon and Minah lost their father.
“Yunho-sshi, are you okay?” Changmin asked concernedly, he sat up next to him, hand still on Yunho’s shoulder when he woke him up.
Yunho blinked several times and sat up.
“Do you need anything?” Changmin asked again.
“N… no.” Yunho couldn’t sleep again. Not after this. “I’ll… go outside. Sorry for bothering you.”
Yunho blamed his messed up thoughts and messed up brain and messed up life. It must be because the new things around him. Stupid pillow, stupid thick blanket and comfy bed, stupid man beside him, stupid apartment, and the stupidest was the engagement. Maybe because he wasn’t getting used to the new things around him so that the bad dreams came again.
Bad dream?
No. It was reality. He really killed Siwon’s father. He took their father and broke Minah’s heart. It wouldn’t be a surprise Siwon couldn’t forgive him. Because even Yunho could never forgive himself.
*
“You look miserable.” Yoochun said as he sat next to Yunho on the wooden floor.
“Can’t sleep last night.” Yunho yawned.
“Ooooh…” Yoochun smirked. “Did it feel nice?” he whispered in low greasy tone only Park Yoochun could do.
Yunho quickly pushed the man when he felt the hot air on his ear. “We did nothing!”
“Ohohoho~ of course, Hyung!” Yoochun patted Yunho’s shoulder. “Hyung, look, Minah…” he quietly pointed to the girl who was teaching a group of kids.
Yunho sighed.
“Hyung you make her like this.” Yoochun playfully blamed Yunho.
“Brat!” Yunho hit Yoochun’s head.
Yoochun laughed. “Hyung go cheer her up. I hate seeing her like that. Look, her lips turn down. It’s not pretty.”
“That’s not wise! How can I be the one cheering her up? You go.” Yunho nudged Yoochun’s shoulder.
“But-“
“Yah! Go!” Yunho pushed Yoochun to standing position before kicked his butt.
*
When Yunho opened the door, he heard sounds from the kitchen, something was being fried and the bubbling water boiled.
“Yunho-sshi?” Changmin was already at home.
“Oh? Changmin-sshi… you’re already here?” Yunho took off his shoes.
“Yeah, my class ended at 1. You finished early.” Changmin stood up several steps from Yunho.
Yunho hoped Changmin would move wherever that Yunho didn’t have to see his face. It was still embarrassing Changmin saw him like that last night. He took his time unlacing his shoes.
“You should’ve called me. I can pick you up from the academy.” Changmin walked back to the kitchen.
“It’s fine. I can take the bus.” Yunho followed slowly from behind. “You’re cooking?”
“Just for me, actually. I don’t know you’d be home early.” Changmin flipped something in the frying pan.
“Oh.” Yunho bit his lip. “It’s okay, I mean… you don’t have to cook for me.” Though Yunho felt a bit disappointed. Even though he wasn’t there yet, why couldn’t Changmin just cook for him too?
“Trust me, you won’t eat it.” Changmin turned off the stove. “I don’t cook well. It’s embarrassing but I unashamedly just cook as I like.”
Yunho felt a kind of relief. So Changmin didn’t want to cook for him because he wasn’t confident in his own cooking? “That bad?”
“You want to try?” Changmin asked, as he scooped a spoon of kimchi jiggae.
Yunho shifted closer as Changmin fed him and tasted it. “Well, it’s okay. I think it’s quite nice.”
“Ah, yeah, well. It’s the kimchi. My grandmother made it.” Changmin tried himself. “Hmm, it’s much better than my previous cooking.”
“I’m lucky, then.” Yunho let out a little laugh, which he quickly stopped. Didn’t want to offense the younger man.
But Changmin smiled. “You are.”
Yunho tried Changmin’s potato pancake, which was tasteless.
“Just say it, come on.” Changmin waited for Yunho’s comment.
Yunho munched some more. “Well… how do I say this… it’s…” he cleared his throat. “No flavour.”
Changmin didn’t look surprise. His expression was flat.
“It’s good enough, you know. Well, not that good, but not that bad either.” Yunho quickly added, ate another slice of pancake to show Changmin that it was taste alright.
Changmin gave a soft smile.
And Yunho almost droll.
“The rice is at least perfect.” Changmin said, as he turned and opened the lid of the rice cooker.
Yunho made two packs of ramyeon and ate Changmin’s cooking too, straight from the pot.
“My mother told us to buy the kitchenware ourselves. You know… together.”
“Sure.” Yunho took the ramyeon and put it on the table. “Tomorrow you free?” he asked. “Or… or I can buy them myself.” He quickly added.
“We can go.” Changmin said as he ate the ramyeon. “After I pick you up at the academy?”
“Perfect.”
*
“I’ll sleep outside.” Yunho said as he took his pillow out.
“Why?” Changmin asked.
Yunho put his pillow on the couch. “Well. Just because…” he mumbled.
“You can take the bed.” Changmin said. “You’re the Hyung anyway.”
“No, really. It’s okay.” Yunho insisted, still didn’t want to look at Changmin.
Changmin didn’t say anything at first. “You were okay when we slept together at the first night. What’s bothering you?”
Yunho took a deep breath. “I don’t wanna bother you.”
“I don’t feel bothered. Well yes, beside the usual kicking and your long limbs stretched here and there.” Changmin’s words made Yunho’s blush. “But I don’t mind.”
“I just… Just-“ Yunho didn’t want to say it. “I don’t want to wake you up in the middle of the night with my stupid delirium.”
“Sleeping in cold weather increases the possibility of having nightmares.” Changmin stated. “Come inside.” He took Yunho’s pillow and brought it to the bedroom.
Yunho followed and sat on his side of bed.
“If you still want to sleep alone I can go.” Changmin said before he laid down.
“No, no.” Yunho quickly said. “You can… sleep here…” he muttered.
“Do you want to keep the light on?”
Yunho wanted to say that he wasn’t a little kid. But well, Changmin was being thoughtful, wasn’t he? “Turn it off.”
The lamp turned off and Yunho felt more nervous in the silence and darkness.
“Hey, you can… move closer if you’re afraid.” Changmin touched Yunho’s hand under the blanket.
“Um… okay.” Yunho shifted to Changmin, let the younger man held his hand. But what surprised him was, Changmin put his long arm under Yunho’s head, let the older man laid his head there before wrapped his other arm around Yunho’s body.
“This okay?” Changmin asked.
Yunho could feel Changmin’s breath on his hair.
“You can sleep now?”
NO. How could he, when he was facing Changmin’s bare muscular chest, his chocolate skin on display. He could smell it. Changmin’s musky soap and Changmin’s spicy scent and Yunho had a hard time breathing.
What Yunho didn’t know was, Changmin caught him staring. When he stole a glance up to see the younger man’s face, Changmin’s eyes were already on him.
“I… I’m…” Yunho shifted uncontrollably. When his half hard erection touched Changmin’s thigh, things couldn’t be worse.
Fuck. Yunho knew he had to move away, stayed back on his own side of bed instead of cuddling in Changmin’s warmth. But his body wanted more friction against Changmin’s hard thigh. It felt so damn good and fuck he wanted to do it again! It wasn’t enough!
Yunho could feel a hand cupped his penis and… it hand rubbed his clothed erection once, twice, and Yunho’s brain could only scream for more, more! It had been too long he hadn’t got laid and fuck, when he realized the hand which was slipping inside his boxer was Changmin’s he had to grip whatever in his reach, held his lusted mind down so he wouldn’t came right then.
His left hand clawed Changmin’s shoulder while his right was around Changmin’s strong right arm, which was jerking him in a slow and nice rhythm, urging him to move faster. Changmin’s hand felt so good around him, not so soft but the texture made him wanted more. Changmin thumbed the head, smeared the precum and Yunho was moaning like an animal in heat.
“Ch- Changmin…” Yunho whined to Changmin’s skin when he felt the younger moved faster. His hand moved up and down, put more pressure and when he played with Yunho’s balls, Yunho let out a deep groan. “Almost…”
Changmin moved impossibly closer to his body, Yunho could feel heat all over him. When his cock twitched uncontrollably, Changmin’s pace was getting rougher and faster, he dragged his thumb on the slit, the other fingers was still around his hard dick and held it firmly, and Yunho lost it, shot his load to Changmin’s hand and muffled his scream to the man’s chest.
Through sleepy eyes, Yunho could see Changmin wiped his hand and Yunho’s crotch, pulled up his boxer and pants, and he didn’t know whether Changmin hugged him again in his sleep. Yunho felt tired but somehow felt warm and content, just let the sleep overcame him.
*
Yunho opened his eyes and he realized he was still in Changmin’s arms. Somehow drenched the younger’s armpit with his droll. He got up and contemplated whether he should just… wipe his saliva off or-
Changmin shifted in his sleep and Yunho did the first thing came to his mind: ran away.
After a glass of water, his mind cleared a bit. But he regretted it. Because he remembered what happened last night. Fuck. Fuck.
What now.
*
Changmin had a massive morning wood when he woke up. Yunho wasn’t there. He quickly went to the bathroom, took care of his business.
Changmin sat on the closet after he took off his sweatpants and yeah. He felt like a teenager again, with dick stood tall and proud. He felt pathetic as he wrapped his warm hand around his erection, shivered as he felt the familiar touch, but felt so damn good when needed.
He wanted some last night, okay. He already had a hard on he should’ve taken care of, but he couldn’t leave Yunho. What if he had a bad dream again?
His dirty thought was to use Yunho’s hand around his dick when the man was sleeping. Or fuck, Changmin could just jerk off on his small pretty face. The tip of his cock touched Yunho’s full red lower lip. Yunho’s lips was so fucking distracting. With the beauty mark on the left, fuck was that sexy. He wanted to run his thick cock around Yunho’s face. His eyes, damn, those eyelashes must be ticklish on his sensitive hardness. Down to his straight nose, to his scar, and yes, to those luscious lips. Those lips which let out whiny needy whimpers.
Changmin moaned deeply, when he thumbed the slit, he imagined it was Yunho’s tongue. He wanted it, he wanted Yunho. He remembered Yunho was gasping for more, his desperate lusty look, his hand around Changmin’s, and of course, Yunho’s hot cock.
Changmin jerked faster, rougher, a bit more, until-
The door opened.
Yunho was there, hand still on the door handle. He saw Changmin sat on the closet, with hand around his thick juicy dick and-
Changmin spurted his cum.
He could see Yunho was blushing deep, before the older man closed the door hurriedly.
He was so fucked.
*
They had the most awkward breakfast afterwards.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t… I thought…” Yunho cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to walk in when… well, I just thought that you were still in bed.”
“It’s okay.” Changmin said, tried to sound calm but he felt so fucking nervous as well. “We’re both men.”
Yunho hummed and munched his toast. Remembering Changmin gave him a handjob was embarrassing enough, now added the image of Changmin jerking off in the bathroom, his brain was in haywire.
“And about last night,”
Yunho mind kept saying fuckfuckfuckfuck. “I’m sorry about that too.” He blurted out, before Changmin could say anything else. “And just… let’s just not think about that anymore.”
“It’s kinda hard, isn’t it? Since we live together.” Changmin drank his coffee.
Yunho hated Changmin’s witty self.
“When you said you’re sorry, I thought you were apologizing about… you know,” Changmin clread his throat. “Not returning the favor last night.”
That was the first time Yunho looked at him in the eye after the morning incident.
Changmin looked away and let out a nervous laugh quickly. “Haha… just kidding.”
Yunho laughed too, to ease out the awkwardness.
The ride to the academy was normal. Yunho got off and thanked Changmin for the ride. When he walked to his locker room, his phone rang.
what time u finished? i’ll pick u up & we can go shopping.
From: Shim Changmin
Yunho looked at his reflection on the mirror. He wore cotton shirt and maroon suit. He tried his best not to look… inadequate in front of people. Well, Changmin, particularly. The man had agreed to this engagement, and Yunho didn’t want to disappoint him.
“Omo, look at you…” Mrs Jung was on the door.
“Umma…”
“Oh Yunho, you look really handsome…” Mrs Jung put her hands on Yunho’s shoulder.
Yunho patted his mother’s hand.
Mrs Jung smiled through the mirror to him. “Please be happy, Yunho.”
Yunho was a bit afraid heard that word. Happiness.
Mrs Jung leaned to kiss his cheek. “Come on, son, the Shims are already here.”
Changmin was wearing sleek black suit with black shirt and golden necktie. He cut his hair shorter, it looked neater and made him looked really masculine. He was talking to someone Mr Jung just introduced him.
“Hey, Hyung,” Yoochun greeted him.
Yunho quickly turned his gaze away from Changmin. “Oh, Chun-ah… you’re here?”
“What, I’m not invited?” Yoochun narrowed his eyes. Mr Park, Yoochun’s father was one of Mr Jung’s alliances in military. Of course they were invited.
Yunho just laughed.
“Hyung, so where’s this Shim’s son you’re gonna married, huh?”
“There,” Yunho pointed to Changmin’s direction. “Oh, he’s talking to your father.”
“Oh, he’s gorgeous.” Yoochun commented as he saw Changmin.
“He is.” Yunho smiled.
“But does he like you?” Yoochun asked.
“What?”
Yoochun looked at Yunho. “Does he like you? Do you like him? Why are you getting engaged, then?”
Yunho should be able to answer that question. “Um, I gotta go for a while, Chun-ah. Sorry.” He walked through the crowding guests on the door, greeted one or two person he knew, before finally reached the garden, located at the back of the house, it was quite dark since there was no lighting. Lucky for Yunho, no one was there. He needed some fresh air. He needed to breathe.
Changmin was gorgeous. He was a good man, Yunho believed. But… he just not him. Not the one Yunho wanted. But he could, Changmin could be, and Yunho would change his mindset. He was willing to do that. But what about Changmin? Was he willing to do that as well? Would he try to learn, to love Yunho?
The answer was obvious.
No.
Changmin already had someone. Yunho knew that. But the younger man was doing a great job with his poker face on. It was somehow… hurt, knew that Changmin could be that… nice, kind, sweet… loving, to someone, but not Yunho.
Yunho took a deep sigh, and tried to calm his mind.
“Oppa…”
Yunho startled and turned. “O- oh… Minah… what are you doing here?”
“Oppa, are you really… gonna marry that man?” Minah’s voice was small and unconfident, unlike her usual energetic voice.
“Minah, I just… have to do this, okay.” Yunho replied, tried to make her understand.
“But Oppa…” Minah slowly looked up at his eyes. “Do you love him?”
Yunho shrugged. He could see sadness in Minah’s teary eyes. “Minah…”
“Oppa, are you gonna be happy with him?” Minah asked again.
Yunho didn’t know what to do with the girl in front of him.
“But Oppa, I love you.” Came the innocent confession from the girl.
Yunho knew Minah had a crush on him, but… it still surprised him. “Listen, Minah-“
“Oppa, I know I shouldn’t say this,” Minah sobbed and wiped her tears from her cheek. “But I just want to let you know… that I can make you happy… I want you to know that… because maybe, maybe you will look at me as a woman…”
Minah was still a little sister in Yunho’s eyes.
“Minah! What are you doing here?” Siwon came to his little sister. “I’m sorry, Yunho. Minah, let’s leave.”
“No!” Minah yanked her hand away from Siwon. “Oppa! Stop treating me like a kid!”
“Choi Minah, you’re being childish right now! Don’t ashamed yourself in front of Yunho!” Siwon hissed.
“Why Oppa? Is loving someone is wrong? Is it shameful?! Why can’t I say it!” Minah cried as he pushed Siwon away.
“Minah, listen to me!” Siwon held Minah’s hand tighter.
“Stop it, Oppa, you’re hurting me!” Minah tried to break her brother’s hold.
“Siwon,” Yunho held Siwon’s hand. “Let go. It’s fine.”
Siwon stepped back. Minah cried harder and Yunho sighed. “Minah, don’t cry, okay?” he wiped her tears. “I’m getting engaged to Shim Changmin, and that is my decision. It doesn’t matter whether I love him or not, but I’m going to be his fiancé, and he will be mine.”
Siwon stood still, while Minah still let out pitiful sobs.
“Don’t cry. You are a beautiful girl, and in time, there will be men waiting in line for you.” Yunho held Minah’s face.
“But I want you, Oppa…” Minah muttered.
“I’m not for you. And you’re not for me. You will find someone who will treat you right and make you happy.” Yunho said. “Now listen to your Oppa, Minah. He has been taking care of you, don’t make it harder for him, okay?”
Minah was still crying quietly, but calmed a bit.
“Promise me you will be a nice girl to your Oppa, and listen to him well.” Yunho searched for Minah’s eyes. “Okay?”
Minah nodded a bit.
“Okay.” Yunho pulled Minah into a hug. “Thank you for loving me, Minah.” He let go of the hug. “Now go to your Oppa.”
Yunho looked as Siwon held Minah’s hand and went inside. And when he turned around, Changmin was there.
They exchanged gaze, nobody knew for how long, until finally Changmin spoke up. “Your mother told me to get you here.”
“She did?” Yunho broke the gaze as he walked to the door.
“Yes. We’re getting started.”
*
They gathered the guests, and Changmin didn’t know what and who was saying words. He could catch some like “perfect couple” and “look good together” or even that stupid naïve word: love.
His mind snapped back to reality when somebody called his name.
“Changmin, you can kiss him now.”
Changmin didn’t know who was talking. His mind wandered around, he could see faces in the crowd. Mr Park, a man Mr Jung introduced him before. Or Mrs Kim, his father’s old fried. Was that Yuri in the left? Changmin kinda thought he didn’t see her sister for a quite long time. And there was… who was that? Minah? Her face could be seen between tall shoulders of the men in front of him.
“Changmin?”
“No.” Changmin said. In his ear, it was like someone else was talking, not him.
“Son?” Mrs Shim touched his shoulder.
“We don’t have to.” Changmin looked at the man in front of him. Yunho’s hand was still in his, after they exchanged the gold ring. He couldn’t read Yunho’s expression.
“Right, Changmin-sshi. It’s not necessary.” Yunho pulled his hand from Changmin’s.
*
It was almost midnight when the newly engaged couple went back to their apartment. He could feel Changmin’s bare shoulder brushed against his when the younger man slipped under the bed.
“Do you hate me that much?” Yunho blurted out to the empty air.
Changmin stiffened, before he turned to face Yunho. “I don’t hate you.”
“Why didn’t you kiss me?” Yunho’s chest was heaving. He felt stupid saying it, but he couldn’t help but just let it all out. “Are you disgusted? Then why did you agree to the engagement?”
“I didn’t kiss you because Minah was there.” Changmin said after a deep sigh.
Yunho’s brain stopped working. “What..?”
“I didn’t kiss you because your little admirer was watching. What do you expect me to do, break her heart after you already did? You rejected her and you want me to kiss you in front of her?” Changmin used his left elbow as leverage to hold his upper body up, facing Yunho.
Yunho turned to see the man beside him quietly.
“If you want a kiss, I can give you one now.”
Yunho couldn’t see Changmin’s face clear enough in the darkness. But he could figure the outline of his jaw and nose. “You… saw her watching?”
“All teary eyes and sad face, yes I did.” Changmin acknowledged.
Fuck. Yunho didn’t expect that. So… Changmin saw Minah? Well, Yunho didn’t even think about that. Of course Minah was there. He didn’t know Changmin could be so… thoughtful. This man had a heart, huh, Yunho thought. He hated himself for his quick temper and being childish, how could he snap just like that to his fiancé?!
He could hear the blanket pulled and the bed shifted. Changmin was back to his lying position.
“I have to be at the campus at 8 tomorrow. Are you going to the academy?”
“Yes.” Yunho whispered.
“Okay. I’ll drive you there.”
“Thank you.”
*
Yunho sat on the back seat with Siwon next to him.
“Now your turn, Yunho!” Siwon said cheerfully. “Close your eyes… no peeking!”
Yunho giggled. “Okay, okay…” he closed his eyes.
“Now, guessed the number!” Siwon grinned.
“Hmm… four!”
“Daeng! Seven!” Siwon showed his seven fingers to Yunho.
“What are you guys playing?” Mr Choi asked as he drove.
“Try to guess the number, Mr Choi!” Yunho said. “It’s so hard. None of us had answer it right…”
Mr Choi laughed. “It’s easy, little boy. I can even do that while driving.”
“Appa, you lie! You lie!” Siwon pointed his fingers to his father.
“I can!” Mr Choi said. “Come on, test me.”
Yunho hummed. ”Okay. Now… how many fingers?!”
“Three!” Mr Choi answered.
“Appa, you’re correct!” Siwon said amazedly. “Now let me try. How many fingers?”
“Seven!” Mr Choi answered.
“Whoa, Mr Choi! Daebak!!” Yunho jumped in his seat. “Guessed mine again! How many, now?”
“Ahh… it’s seems a bit difficult now…” Mr Choi mumbled playfully, made the kids giggled. “One! Is that right, little Jung?”
“Oooohh, Appa, how can you guess them right?” Siwon asked.
Yunho looked to the front, and he caught Mr Choi’s eyes… in the rearview mirror. “Mr Choi! You’re cheating! You can see us from the mirror, right?”
Mr Choi just laughed.
“Come on, Siwon. Test Mr Choi again! I’ll cover his eyes.” Yunho moved closer on his seat, stretched his little arms to the driver’s seat.
“No, no, Yunho, I’m driving!” Mr Choi said as he held Yunho’s hand with his.
“Hurry Siwon!” Yunho said, as he made sure Mr Choi couldn’t see.
“Appa, how many fingers now?”
*
“…ho-sshi! Yunho-sshi!!”
Yunho jerked awoke, gasping for air. Cold sweat rolled his forehead and sideburns. He felt nauseous and his heart was beating like crazy.
The light on the bedside table turned on, illuminated Changmin’s worried eyes, looking at him.
It was so clear in his head. The blinding yellow light, before it turned red, then he fell to the pitch black. The car crash. It was because of him. He did it. He killed Mr Choi. He made Siwon and Minah lost their father.
“Yunho-sshi, are you okay?” Changmin asked concernedly, he sat up next to him, hand still on Yunho’s shoulder when he woke him up.
Yunho blinked several times and sat up.
“Do you need anything?” Changmin asked again.
“N… no.” Yunho couldn’t sleep again. Not after this. “I’ll… go outside. Sorry for bothering you.”
Yunho blamed his messed up thoughts and messed up brain and messed up life. It must be because the new things around him. Stupid pillow, stupid thick blanket and comfy bed, stupid man beside him, stupid apartment, and the stupidest was the engagement. Maybe because he wasn’t getting used to the new things around him so that the bad dreams came again.
Bad dream?
No. It was reality. He really killed Siwon’s father. He took their father and broke Minah’s heart. It wouldn’t be a surprise Siwon couldn’t forgive him. Because even Yunho could never forgive himself.
*
“You look miserable.” Yoochun said as he sat next to Yunho on the wooden floor.
“Can’t sleep last night.” Yunho yawned.
“Ooooh…” Yoochun smirked. “Did it feel nice?” he whispered in low greasy tone only Park Yoochun could do.
Yunho quickly pushed the man when he felt the hot air on his ear. “We did nothing!”
“Ohohoho~ of course, Hyung!” Yoochun patted Yunho’s shoulder. “Hyung, look, Minah…” he quietly pointed to the girl who was teaching a group of kids.
Yunho sighed.
“Hyung you make her like this.” Yoochun playfully blamed Yunho.
“Brat!” Yunho hit Yoochun’s head.
Yoochun laughed. “Hyung go cheer her up. I hate seeing her like that. Look, her lips turn down. It’s not pretty.”
“That’s not wise! How can I be the one cheering her up? You go.” Yunho nudged Yoochun’s shoulder.
“But-“
“Yah! Go!” Yunho pushed Yoochun to standing position before kicked his butt.
*
When Yunho opened the door, he heard sounds from the kitchen, something was being fried and the bubbling water boiled.
“Yunho-sshi?” Changmin was already at home.
“Oh? Changmin-sshi… you’re already here?” Yunho took off his shoes.
“Yeah, my class ended at 1. You finished early.” Changmin stood up several steps from Yunho.
Yunho hoped Changmin would move wherever that Yunho didn’t have to see his face. It was still embarrassing Changmin saw him like that last night. He took his time unlacing his shoes.
“You should’ve called me. I can pick you up from the academy.” Changmin walked back to the kitchen.
“It’s fine. I can take the bus.” Yunho followed slowly from behind. “You’re cooking?”
“Just for me, actually. I don’t know you’d be home early.” Changmin flipped something in the frying pan.
“Oh.” Yunho bit his lip. “It’s okay, I mean… you don’t have to cook for me.” Though Yunho felt a bit disappointed. Even though he wasn’t there yet, why couldn’t Changmin just cook for him too?
“Trust me, you won’t eat it.” Changmin turned off the stove. “I don’t cook well. It’s embarrassing but I unashamedly just cook as I like.”
Yunho felt a kind of relief. So Changmin didn’t want to cook for him because he wasn’t confident in his own cooking? “That bad?”
“You want to try?” Changmin asked, as he scooped a spoon of kimchi jiggae.
Yunho shifted closer as Changmin fed him and tasted it. “Well, it’s okay. I think it’s quite nice.”
“Ah, yeah, well. It’s the kimchi. My grandmother made it.” Changmin tried himself. “Hmm, it’s much better than my previous cooking.”
“I’m lucky, then.” Yunho let out a little laugh, which he quickly stopped. Didn’t want to offense the younger man.
But Changmin smiled. “You are.”
Yunho tried Changmin’s potato pancake, which was tasteless.
“Just say it, come on.” Changmin waited for Yunho’s comment.
Yunho munched some more. “Well… how do I say this… it’s…” he cleared his throat. “No flavour.”
Changmin didn’t look surprise. His expression was flat.
“It’s good enough, you know. Well, not that good, but not that bad either.” Yunho quickly added, ate another slice of pancake to show Changmin that it was taste alright.
Changmin gave a soft smile.
And Yunho almost droll.
“The rice is at least perfect.” Changmin said, as he turned and opened the lid of the rice cooker.
Yunho made two packs of ramyeon and ate Changmin’s cooking too, straight from the pot.
“My mother told us to buy the kitchenware ourselves. You know… together.”
“Sure.” Yunho took the ramyeon and put it on the table. “Tomorrow you free?” he asked. “Or… or I can buy them myself.” He quickly added.
“We can go.” Changmin said as he ate the ramyeon. “After I pick you up at the academy?”
“Perfect.”
*
“I’ll sleep outside.” Yunho said as he took his pillow out.
“Why?” Changmin asked.
Yunho put his pillow on the couch. “Well. Just because…” he mumbled.
“You can take the bed.” Changmin said. “You’re the Hyung anyway.”
“No, really. It’s okay.” Yunho insisted, still didn’t want to look at Changmin.
Changmin didn’t say anything at first. “You were okay when we slept together at the first night. What’s bothering you?”
Yunho took a deep breath. “I don’t wanna bother you.”
“I don’t feel bothered. Well yes, beside the usual kicking and your long limbs stretched here and there.” Changmin’s words made Yunho’s blush. “But I don’t mind.”
“I just… Just-“ Yunho didn’t want to say it. “I don’t want to wake you up in the middle of the night with my stupid delirium.”
“Sleeping in cold weather increases the possibility of having nightmares.” Changmin stated. “Come inside.” He took Yunho’s pillow and brought it to the bedroom.
Yunho followed and sat on his side of bed.
“If you still want to sleep alone I can go.” Changmin said before he laid down.
“No, no.” Yunho quickly said. “You can… sleep here…” he muttered.
“Do you want to keep the light on?”
Yunho wanted to say that he wasn’t a little kid. But well, Changmin was being thoughtful, wasn’t he? “Turn it off.”
The lamp turned off and Yunho felt more nervous in the silence and darkness.
“Hey, you can… move closer if you’re afraid.” Changmin touched Yunho’s hand under the blanket.
“Um… okay.” Yunho shifted to Changmin, let the younger man held his hand. But what surprised him was, Changmin put his long arm under Yunho’s head, let the older man laid his head there before wrapped his other arm around Yunho’s body.
“This okay?” Changmin asked.
Yunho could feel Changmin’s breath on his hair.
“You can sleep now?”
NO. How could he, when he was facing Changmin’s bare muscular chest, his chocolate skin on display. He could smell it. Changmin’s musky soap and Changmin’s spicy scent and Yunho had a hard time breathing.
What Yunho didn’t know was, Changmin caught him staring. When he stole a glance up to see the younger man’s face, Changmin’s eyes were already on him.
“I… I’m…” Yunho shifted uncontrollably. When his half hard erection touched Changmin’s thigh, things couldn’t be worse.
Fuck. Yunho knew he had to move away, stayed back on his own side of bed instead of cuddling in Changmin’s warmth. But his body wanted more friction against Changmin’s hard thigh. It felt so damn good and fuck he wanted to do it again! It wasn’t enough!
Yunho could feel a hand cupped his penis and… it hand rubbed his clothed erection once, twice, and Yunho’s brain could only scream for more, more! It had been too long he hadn’t got laid and fuck, when he realized the hand which was slipping inside his boxer was Changmin’s he had to grip whatever in his reach, held his lusted mind down so he wouldn’t came right then.
His left hand clawed Changmin’s shoulder while his right was around Changmin’s strong right arm, which was jerking him in a slow and nice rhythm, urging him to move faster. Changmin’s hand felt so good around him, not so soft but the texture made him wanted more. Changmin thumbed the head, smeared the precum and Yunho was moaning like an animal in heat.
“Ch- Changmin…” Yunho whined to Changmin’s skin when he felt the younger moved faster. His hand moved up and down, put more pressure and when he played with Yunho’s balls, Yunho let out a deep groan. “Almost…”
Changmin moved impossibly closer to his body, Yunho could feel heat all over him. When his cock twitched uncontrollably, Changmin’s pace was getting rougher and faster, he dragged his thumb on the slit, the other fingers was still around his hard dick and held it firmly, and Yunho lost it, shot his load to Changmin’s hand and muffled his scream to the man’s chest.
Through sleepy eyes, Yunho could see Changmin wiped his hand and Yunho’s crotch, pulled up his boxer and pants, and he didn’t know whether Changmin hugged him again in his sleep. Yunho felt tired but somehow felt warm and content, just let the sleep overcame him.
*
Yunho opened his eyes and he realized he was still in Changmin’s arms. Somehow drenched the younger’s armpit with his droll. He got up and contemplated whether he should just… wipe his saliva off or-
Changmin shifted in his sleep and Yunho did the first thing came to his mind: ran away.
After a glass of water, his mind cleared a bit. But he regretted it. Because he remembered what happened last night. Fuck. Fuck.
What now.
*
Changmin had a massive morning wood when he woke up. Yunho wasn’t there. He quickly went to the bathroom, took care of his business.
Changmin sat on the closet after he took off his sweatpants and yeah. He felt like a teenager again, with dick stood tall and proud. He felt pathetic as he wrapped his warm hand around his erection, shivered as he felt the familiar touch, but felt so damn good when needed.
He wanted some last night, okay. He already had a hard on he should’ve taken care of, but he couldn’t leave Yunho. What if he had a bad dream again?
His dirty thought was to use Yunho’s hand around his dick when the man was sleeping. Or fuck, Changmin could just jerk off on his small pretty face. The tip of his cock touched Yunho’s full red lower lip. Yunho’s lips was so fucking distracting. With the beauty mark on the left, fuck was that sexy. He wanted to run his thick cock around Yunho’s face. His eyes, damn, those eyelashes must be ticklish on his sensitive hardness. Down to his straight nose, to his scar, and yes, to those luscious lips. Those lips which let out whiny needy whimpers.
Changmin moaned deeply, when he thumbed the slit, he imagined it was Yunho’s tongue. He wanted it, he wanted Yunho. He remembered Yunho was gasping for more, his desperate lusty look, his hand around Changmin’s, and of course, Yunho’s hot cock.
Changmin jerked faster, rougher, a bit more, until-
The door opened.
Yunho was there, hand still on the door handle. He saw Changmin sat on the closet, with hand around his thick juicy dick and-
Changmin spurted his cum.
He could see Yunho was blushing deep, before the older man closed the door hurriedly.
He was so fucked.
*
They had the most awkward breakfast afterwards.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t… I thought…” Yunho cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to walk in when… well, I just thought that you were still in bed.”
“It’s okay.” Changmin said, tried to sound calm but he felt so fucking nervous as well. “We’re both men.”
Yunho hummed and munched his toast. Remembering Changmin gave him a handjob was embarrassing enough, now added the image of Changmin jerking off in the bathroom, his brain was in haywire.
“And about last night,”
Yunho mind kept saying fuckfuckfuckfuck. “I’m sorry about that too.” He blurted out, before Changmin could say anything else. “And just… let’s just not think about that anymore.”
“It’s kinda hard, isn’t it? Since we live together.” Changmin drank his coffee.
Yunho hated Changmin’s witty self.
“When you said you’re sorry, I thought you were apologizing about… you know,” Changmin clread his throat. “Not returning the favor last night.”
That was the first time Yunho looked at him in the eye after the morning incident.
Changmin looked away and let out a nervous laugh quickly. “Haha… just kidding.”
Yunho laughed too, to ease out the awkwardness.
The ride to the academy was normal. Yunho got off and thanked Changmin for the ride. When he walked to his locker room, his phone rang.
what time u finished? i’ll pick u up & we can go shopping.
From: Shim Changmin