The Red Stain - Part 2
So, I thought I'd post the rest before going to bed (it's past 1 am here). Thanks for your comments on Part 1, I was really so happy about them.
Title: The Red Stain - Part 2
Rating PG-13 (I think)
Setting: Pre-CotBP
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, the Mouse owns everything.
Summary: Today young Elizabeth has found blood on her gown for the first time. She's heard the maids refering to it as 'The Curse' and is not sure who to tell. Especially when James Norrington is to be her companion for the day...
The Red Stain - Part 2
While Elizabeth had been having breakfast, James had patiently answered all her questions about the new ship, and she was happy that it had been possible to rekindle the companionship they had shared on the Dauntless.
Now they were nearing the harbour, Elizabeth almost running to finally see the ship that had to be quite beautiful, after James’ description.
And there it was. It - she - was really exactly as James had described her and Elizabeth came to a stand, just looking. The Interceptor was a lot smaller than the stately Dauntless, looking very graceful with her slender built. Elizabeth could very well imagine her skipping along the waves, with no clear destination in mind, just for the joy of being out on the open sea and sailing.
Only then did she notice James standing beside her. “What do you think, Elizabeth?”, he asked her quietly. She liked it that he felt comfortable enough to call her by her first name. “She’s really beautiful. Can we go on board? I want to have a closer look.”
He just nodded and together they proceeded to the gangway and soon stood on the main deck. There was no one else on board, and Elizabeth presumed that James had sent everyone away before coming to get her.
It was simply great to be on a ship again and she immediately started exploring, going to the prow to have a look at the figurehead, venturing into the Captain’s cabin, inspecting the brig and even eyeing the rigging speculatively. But James wouldn’t have that, he was quite adamant on this point.
“No Elizabeth. Not in broad daylight. Anyone could see you. You know it is not proper.” Of course she knew it was not proper, but it was so much fun.
“Would you rather have me climb it in the dead of the night?” Elizabeth saw the smile appearing on his face and knew he remembered. “I’d have to say you have some experience with that, don’t you?” She had to smile as well, it really had been a rather funny episode.
“See, you’re even admitting that I have experience. You don’t think I would fall down, do you?” She was quite certain he didn’t.
“No, I don’t. You’re better at that than some of the cabin boys. But think about it. If someone sees you, they will definitely relate it to your father. And then you will probably never be allowed on a ship again. Not to mention that I’ll be in trouble as well.” He was right, she grudingly had to admit it, and so she left the rigging and opted instead for the quarterdeck.
Here Elizabeth was soon standing at the helm, holding it with her small hands, pretending to be Captain and sailing with her ship to unknown places full of adventure. She somehow felt free and very at ease here, not having to think about methods how to not fall asleep during afternoon tea at Mrs. Anderson’s tomorrow...
And then her problem came to her mind once again. Perhaps now was the best time. They were both very relaxed, James was looking out at sea with an open expression on his face, and there was nobody here to listen in on them. Yes, this was definitly the opportune moment...
“James ... can I ask you something?” He must’ve heard the anxiety in her voice, because he was looking at her now, concern shining in his eyes. “Of course you can. Is something wrong?” She wasn’t so sure about that.
“No ... Yes ... I don’t know... It’s just...” Elizabeth hadn’t thought it would be this hard. How could she explain it? It was somewhat embarrassing. So she said the first thing that popped into her head.
“I think I’ve got the Curse.” If she wasn’t feeling quite as nervous, she would have laughed out loud. She had never seen James look so confused.
“What?”
Why didn’t he know it? He was a Lieutenant, he had to know things like this, right?
“The Curse, you know? That all women are plagued with? I woke up this morning and there it was on my ... gown.”
She didn’t want to say ‘legs’. He was still looking politely puzzled, but she thought she could glimpse dawning understanding in his eyes - and with it a great deal of apprehension. He coughed slightly.
“What ... what was on your gown?” Now she could hear the apprehension in his voice as well.
Elizabeth decided that probably bluntness was the best course once more. “Blood ... I heard the maids talking about the curse and about becoming a woman. So... what is it that I’m having?” She was feeling much better now that it was out in the open.
James stared at her for a moment, looking quite like a fish out of water, then suddenly straightened up and avoided eye contact. And ... did she see that correctly? Yes, she did! He was blushing! She hadn’t thought James Norrington being capabale of blushing!
“Elizabeth ... I, well ... I mean ... Well, I don’t think I am the right person to ... to discuss - this - with...”
She had never seen him so flustered either. For goodness sake, he was stammering! She had been certain that there was nothing on earth that could destroy his stoic calmness. And here she was, having achieved that with just a simple question! Should she be proud of that? Anyway, she still wanted an answer.
“Why not? I think you are very much the right person. You know of it, don’t you? Please tell me! Am I losing blood till I’m as pale as Ms. Wiltshaw? And what has it got to do with becoming a woman? I am a woman, am I not?”
By now James had taken a few steps back, was still blushing profusely, still avoiding eye contact, and tiny beads of sweat had started forming on his brow.
“I really don’t think ... Of course you’ll not become like Ms. Wilshaw ... no one can be that pall ... pale ... I mean pale. And certainly you are a ... you know.”
He still wasn’t explaining anything. And his nervousness was starting to affect her as well. What was so terrible about it that he couldn’t tell her? They were friends, weren’t they? Elizabeth then decided to play her last card, the one that always, always worked for her father: the puppy dog eyes.
“Please, James! You are my friend, aren’t you? And I trust you.”
James was still not looking at her, but it seemed to work. He was tugging on his cravat, obviously searching for words. Finally his shoulders slumped down and he heaved a defeated sigh.
“Alright, alright. Of course I’m your friend. Good, ... well, let’s sit down.”
They settled themselves on the stairs to the quarterdeck and Elizabeth looked at him expectantly. There was still a lot of sweat on his face and he nervously passed a hand through his hair, knocking off his hat and making his wig look all rumpled.
“Well, you see, when a woman reaches a certain age, your age for example, her ... her body starts to change and...”
But she had to interrupt him here. “What do you mean? How does it change?”
He was squirming now. Why was he being so embarrassed?
“It ... it grows. And I don’t mean necessarily in height...” Should she feel affronted now?
“You’re not saying I’m becoming fat, are you?” He looked confused again, until he understood what she meant. “No, no. I don’t mean that your ... your stomach grows.”
Why did he have to speak in riddles? “So, what is growing then?”
James was blushing even more now. She hadn’t thought it possible... “I mean your ... your... “ And then he was gesturing vaguely at her chest. Ah, that’s what he meant! Finally she understood him.
“Oh, you mean I get a bosom. Yes, and then?”
He was making a choking sound and was then coughing violently for a time. It took a few moments for him to get some semblance of composure back.
“You ... you could say it like that ... So, your body starts changing and that is when it ... when it starts ... with the blood ... and all.”
Why was this so difficult for him? He could explain everything rearding sailing so easily. Elizabeth didn’t quite see where his problem was. And she still didn’t have her answer.
“Yes, I understand that, but why is it bleeding?” That was all she wanted to know. A simple question.
James now threw up his hands in the air. It looked like some kind of surrender. “The bleeding means that you ... you now can ... Oh for Gods sake! It means that you can now get pregnant and bear children.”
He was drawing great, heaving breaths, as if he couldn’t quite believe he had said that. Elizabeth meanwhile was quite happy with this answer. She could understand that. There was only one question more.
“Well, good. How long does it last?”
James, for all means, now looked like a man who had submitted himself to his fate. “It lasts for a few days and will return once a month.”
She didn’t like the sound of that. So she would be bleeding once a month from now on? Oh well, at least she wasn’t becoming all pale and prissy like Ms. Wiltshaw, not to mention pall. James did have a point there ...
She was certain she would be able to live with this new condition, once she got used to it.
James had by now put his head in his hands and she could just barely make out his words. “And please, please don’t ask me where the children are coming from, because then I will surely suffer a heart attack!”
Elizabeth patted his shoulder lightly.
“Don’t worry, James. I already know that.”
His head snapped back up, his eyes searching hers with a great deal of surprise in them.
“What?”
She grinned at him innocently. “I said, I already know that. I overheard another conversation between the maids in our house. It was very ... informative. So don’t worry, I won’t ask.”
James was gaping at her, obviously at a complete loss for words.
“So, thank you for explaining it to me. I’m feeling a lot better now. Shall we now go grab lunch somewhere?”
It took a few more moments before James finally closed his mouth and stood up. He straightened his wig, placed his hat back atop it and rightened his cravat. “Yes, yes let’s do that.”
888
In the evening as they were nearing the Governor’s mansion, Elizabeth was still thinking about the conversation. Had it really been so horrible for him? That hadn’t been her intention.
She took hold of his hand, which prompted him to stop and look at her.
“James, I’m really, really sorry if I have embarrassed you. It’s just ... I didn’t know who to talk to and we got along so fine on the Dauntless and I really like you and I meant it when I said I trust you.”
When she looked up into his face, she was relieved to see him smiling kindly at her, regarding her with warmth in his eyes.
“You didn’t embarrass me Elizabeth. Granted, I felt uncomfortable - quite a lot actually - , because you don’t normally talk about this topic in public, especially not with the young daughters of Governors. But I am feeling very honoured that you are placing this kind of trust in me and I am happy to be considered your friend.”
Elizabeth could just beam at his last words. Those were the nicest things anyone had ever said to her. And she was so very glad now, that she had then found the courage to approach the seemingly stiff Lieutenant with her questions about the mizzen mast all that time ago on the Dauntless.
He really was a great friend once you got to know him and once you managed to corner him alone. She told him exactly that. First he looked at her, very stunned, as if he couldn’t believe he had heard her correctly.
Then he did something completely unexpected and so un-James-ish (was that even a word, she wondered) that it took Elizabeth very much off guard. He embraced her and held her for a few moments.
“Thank you, Elizabeth.”
Why was he thanking her? She had only told him the truth. But ... perhaps this was just the way James was. And it was all right with her. The sole thing that irked her was, that she had meant to hug James to startle him and he had now ruined this plan.
“Come now. Let’s get you back home. Perhaps your father has already returned.”
Elizabeth nodded, but it was really a pity that the day was drawing to a close already. She’d had so much fun and for all she cared it could have gotten on much, much longer. But he was right of course.
They walked the last few steps to the front door in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Mary opened the door, informing Elizabeth that her father was not home yet and asking James if he wanted to come in and wait for the Governor. James declined politely, stating he still had duties to attend to and Elizabeth allowed herself a tiny sigh. Now it was back to propriety, back to ‘Ms. Swann’ and ‘Lieutenant Norrington’.
In her opininon, those ‘rules’ of society were utterly pointless. What could be wrong about calling a person by their first name? But she didn’t want to get in trouble with her father this evening, as Mary would undoubtely tell him should she misbehave. Why couldn’t Estrella have come to the door? She was much nicer in this regard. So Elizabeth said what was expected of her.
“Thank you very much for keeping me company today, Lieutenant. I am sorry if I have imposed upon your time overly much.”
It sounded so false in her ears. She wanted to tell him how much she had enjoyed the time on the Interceptor, she wanted to thank him for answering her question although he had been so embarrassed - he could claim otherwise as much as he liked, she knew he had been embarrassed, and somewhat terribly - and she wanted to express how much it meant to her that he was taking her seriously.
But she couldn’t, because it was ‘improper’.
James was showing his ‘Navy face’ again, the one without any expression or emotion. “You certainly did not impose upon me, Ms. Swann. It has been a pleasure to accompany you. Please give my best regards to your father and tell him I shall call in on him sometime tomorrow.”
He turned around to leave, but Elizabeth didn’t want him to just go like that. To her relief she noticed that Mary had retreated a bit into the entrance hall, so if she whispered ...
“James!”
She had spoken very quietly, but he had heard her, looking at her once more.
“I really, really enjoyed today. Thanks a lot. For everything. I hope we can repeat that sometime.”
And she was certain he understood everything she meant to say with only those few words. His mask of indifference slipped and he was showing his brilliant smile again.
“I very much hope so as well, Elizabeth. Good night and sweet dreams.”
With that he left, vanishing into the gloom of the quickly falling darkness.
888
Later, while lying in her bed, Elizabeth’s thoughts were still on the passed day. There had been so much laughter, so much fun. So much different from her everyday life.
“If only it could always be like today”, were her last conscious thoughts before she drifted of to sleep, dreaming about graceful, slender ships bringing her the horizon ....
THE END
___________________________________________________________________________
Tell me what you think about it, I'm always glad to hear another opinion.. By the way, I know Elizabeth wouldn’t have dressed herself, but I wanted to have it this way. Call it artistic liscense.
Title: The Red Stain - Part 2
Rating PG-13 (I think)
Setting: Pre-CotBP
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, the Mouse owns everything.
Summary: Today young Elizabeth has found blood on her gown for the first time. She's heard the maids refering to it as 'The Curse' and is not sure who to tell. Especially when James Norrington is to be her companion for the day...
The Red Stain - Part 2
While Elizabeth had been having breakfast, James had patiently answered all her questions about the new ship, and she was happy that it had been possible to rekindle the companionship they had shared on the Dauntless.
Now they were nearing the harbour, Elizabeth almost running to finally see the ship that had to be quite beautiful, after James’ description.
And there it was. It - she - was really exactly as James had described her and Elizabeth came to a stand, just looking. The Interceptor was a lot smaller than the stately Dauntless, looking very graceful with her slender built. Elizabeth could very well imagine her skipping along the waves, with no clear destination in mind, just for the joy of being out on the open sea and sailing.
Only then did she notice James standing beside her. “What do you think, Elizabeth?”, he asked her quietly. She liked it that he felt comfortable enough to call her by her first name. “She’s really beautiful. Can we go on board? I want to have a closer look.”
He just nodded and together they proceeded to the gangway and soon stood on the main deck. There was no one else on board, and Elizabeth presumed that James had sent everyone away before coming to get her.
It was simply great to be on a ship again and she immediately started exploring, going to the prow to have a look at the figurehead, venturing into the Captain’s cabin, inspecting the brig and even eyeing the rigging speculatively. But James wouldn’t have that, he was quite adamant on this point.
“No Elizabeth. Not in broad daylight. Anyone could see you. You know it is not proper.” Of course she knew it was not proper, but it was so much fun.
“Would you rather have me climb it in the dead of the night?” Elizabeth saw the smile appearing on his face and knew he remembered. “I’d have to say you have some experience with that, don’t you?” She had to smile as well, it really had been a rather funny episode.
“See, you’re even admitting that I have experience. You don’t think I would fall down, do you?” She was quite certain he didn’t.
“No, I don’t. You’re better at that than some of the cabin boys. But think about it. If someone sees you, they will definitely relate it to your father. And then you will probably never be allowed on a ship again. Not to mention that I’ll be in trouble as well.” He was right, she grudingly had to admit it, and so she left the rigging and opted instead for the quarterdeck.
Here Elizabeth was soon standing at the helm, holding it with her small hands, pretending to be Captain and sailing with her ship to unknown places full of adventure. She somehow felt free and very at ease here, not having to think about methods how to not fall asleep during afternoon tea at Mrs. Anderson’s tomorrow...
And then her problem came to her mind once again. Perhaps now was the best time. They were both very relaxed, James was looking out at sea with an open expression on his face, and there was nobody here to listen in on them. Yes, this was definitly the opportune moment...
“James ... can I ask you something?” He must’ve heard the anxiety in her voice, because he was looking at her now, concern shining in his eyes. “Of course you can. Is something wrong?” She wasn’t so sure about that.
“No ... Yes ... I don’t know... It’s just...” Elizabeth hadn’t thought it would be this hard. How could she explain it? It was somewhat embarrassing. So she said the first thing that popped into her head.
“I think I’ve got the Curse.” If she wasn’t feeling quite as nervous, she would have laughed out loud. She had never seen James look so confused.
“What?”
Why didn’t he know it? He was a Lieutenant, he had to know things like this, right?
“The Curse, you know? That all women are plagued with? I woke up this morning and there it was on my ... gown.”
She didn’t want to say ‘legs’. He was still looking politely puzzled, but she thought she could glimpse dawning understanding in his eyes - and with it a great deal of apprehension. He coughed slightly.
“What ... what was on your gown?” Now she could hear the apprehension in his voice as well.
Elizabeth decided that probably bluntness was the best course once more. “Blood ... I heard the maids talking about the curse and about becoming a woman. So... what is it that I’m having?” She was feeling much better now that it was out in the open.
James stared at her for a moment, looking quite like a fish out of water, then suddenly straightened up and avoided eye contact. And ... did she see that correctly? Yes, she did! He was blushing! She hadn’t thought James Norrington being capabale of blushing!
“Elizabeth ... I, well ... I mean ... Well, I don’t think I am the right person to ... to discuss - this - with...”
She had never seen him so flustered either. For goodness sake, he was stammering! She had been certain that there was nothing on earth that could destroy his stoic calmness. And here she was, having achieved that with just a simple question! Should she be proud of that? Anyway, she still wanted an answer.
“Why not? I think you are very much the right person. You know of it, don’t you? Please tell me! Am I losing blood till I’m as pale as Ms. Wiltshaw? And what has it got to do with becoming a woman? I am a woman, am I not?”
By now James had taken a few steps back, was still blushing profusely, still avoiding eye contact, and tiny beads of sweat had started forming on his brow.
“I really don’t think ... Of course you’ll not become like Ms. Wilshaw ... no one can be that pall ... pale ... I mean pale. And certainly you are a ... you know.”
He still wasn’t explaining anything. And his nervousness was starting to affect her as well. What was so terrible about it that he couldn’t tell her? They were friends, weren’t they? Elizabeth then decided to play her last card, the one that always, always worked for her father: the puppy dog eyes.
“Please, James! You are my friend, aren’t you? And I trust you.”
James was still not looking at her, but it seemed to work. He was tugging on his cravat, obviously searching for words. Finally his shoulders slumped down and he heaved a defeated sigh.
“Alright, alright. Of course I’m your friend. Good, ... well, let’s sit down.”
They settled themselves on the stairs to the quarterdeck and Elizabeth looked at him expectantly. There was still a lot of sweat on his face and he nervously passed a hand through his hair, knocking off his hat and making his wig look all rumpled.
“Well, you see, when a woman reaches a certain age, your age for example, her ... her body starts to change and...”
But she had to interrupt him here. “What do you mean? How does it change?”
He was squirming now. Why was he being so embarrassed?
“It ... it grows. And I don’t mean necessarily in height...” Should she feel affronted now?
“You’re not saying I’m becoming fat, are you?” He looked confused again, until he understood what she meant. “No, no. I don’t mean that your ... your stomach grows.”
Why did he have to speak in riddles? “So, what is growing then?”
James was blushing even more now. She hadn’t thought it possible... “I mean your ... your... “ And then he was gesturing vaguely at her chest. Ah, that’s what he meant! Finally she understood him.
“Oh, you mean I get a bosom. Yes, and then?”
He was making a choking sound and was then coughing violently for a time. It took a few moments for him to get some semblance of composure back.
“You ... you could say it like that ... So, your body starts changing and that is when it ... when it starts ... with the blood ... and all.”
Why was this so difficult for him? He could explain everything rearding sailing so easily. Elizabeth didn’t quite see where his problem was. And she still didn’t have her answer.
“Yes, I understand that, but why is it bleeding?” That was all she wanted to know. A simple question.
James now threw up his hands in the air. It looked like some kind of surrender. “The bleeding means that you ... you now can ... Oh for Gods sake! It means that you can now get pregnant and bear children.”
He was drawing great, heaving breaths, as if he couldn’t quite believe he had said that. Elizabeth meanwhile was quite happy with this answer. She could understand that. There was only one question more.
“Well, good. How long does it last?”
James, for all means, now looked like a man who had submitted himself to his fate. “It lasts for a few days and will return once a month.”
She didn’t like the sound of that. So she would be bleeding once a month from now on? Oh well, at least she wasn’t becoming all pale and prissy like Ms. Wiltshaw, not to mention pall. James did have a point there ...
She was certain she would be able to live with this new condition, once she got used to it.
James had by now put his head in his hands and she could just barely make out his words. “And please, please don’t ask me where the children are coming from, because then I will surely suffer a heart attack!”
Elizabeth patted his shoulder lightly.
“Don’t worry, James. I already know that.”
His head snapped back up, his eyes searching hers with a great deal of surprise in them.
“What?”
She grinned at him innocently. “I said, I already know that. I overheard another conversation between the maids in our house. It was very ... informative. So don’t worry, I won’t ask.”
James was gaping at her, obviously at a complete loss for words.
“So, thank you for explaining it to me. I’m feeling a lot better now. Shall we now go grab lunch somewhere?”
It took a few more moments before James finally closed his mouth and stood up. He straightened his wig, placed his hat back atop it and rightened his cravat. “Yes, yes let’s do that.”
888
In the evening as they were nearing the Governor’s mansion, Elizabeth was still thinking about the conversation. Had it really been so horrible for him? That hadn’t been her intention.
She took hold of his hand, which prompted him to stop and look at her.
“James, I’m really, really sorry if I have embarrassed you. It’s just ... I didn’t know who to talk to and we got along so fine on the Dauntless and I really like you and I meant it when I said I trust you.”
When she looked up into his face, she was relieved to see him smiling kindly at her, regarding her with warmth in his eyes.
“You didn’t embarrass me Elizabeth. Granted, I felt uncomfortable - quite a lot actually - , because you don’t normally talk about this topic in public, especially not with the young daughters of Governors. But I am feeling very honoured that you are placing this kind of trust in me and I am happy to be considered your friend.”
Elizabeth could just beam at his last words. Those were the nicest things anyone had ever said to her. And she was so very glad now, that she had then found the courage to approach the seemingly stiff Lieutenant with her questions about the mizzen mast all that time ago on the Dauntless.
He really was a great friend once you got to know him and once you managed to corner him alone. She told him exactly that. First he looked at her, very stunned, as if he couldn’t believe he had heard her correctly.
Then he did something completely unexpected and so un-James-ish (was that even a word, she wondered) that it took Elizabeth very much off guard. He embraced her and held her for a few moments.
“Thank you, Elizabeth.”
Why was he thanking her? She had only told him the truth. But ... perhaps this was just the way James was. And it was all right with her. The sole thing that irked her was, that she had meant to hug James to startle him and he had now ruined this plan.
“Come now. Let’s get you back home. Perhaps your father has already returned.”
Elizabeth nodded, but it was really a pity that the day was drawing to a close already. She’d had so much fun and for all she cared it could have gotten on much, much longer. But he was right of course.
They walked the last few steps to the front door in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Mary opened the door, informing Elizabeth that her father was not home yet and asking James if he wanted to come in and wait for the Governor. James declined politely, stating he still had duties to attend to and Elizabeth allowed herself a tiny sigh. Now it was back to propriety, back to ‘Ms. Swann’ and ‘Lieutenant Norrington’.
In her opininon, those ‘rules’ of society were utterly pointless. What could be wrong about calling a person by their first name? But she didn’t want to get in trouble with her father this evening, as Mary would undoubtely tell him should she misbehave. Why couldn’t Estrella have come to the door? She was much nicer in this regard. So Elizabeth said what was expected of her.
“Thank you very much for keeping me company today, Lieutenant. I am sorry if I have imposed upon your time overly much.”
It sounded so false in her ears. She wanted to tell him how much she had enjoyed the time on the Interceptor, she wanted to thank him for answering her question although he had been so embarrassed - he could claim otherwise as much as he liked, she knew he had been embarrassed, and somewhat terribly - and she wanted to express how much it meant to her that he was taking her seriously.
But she couldn’t, because it was ‘improper’.
James was showing his ‘Navy face’ again, the one without any expression or emotion. “You certainly did not impose upon me, Ms. Swann. It has been a pleasure to accompany you. Please give my best regards to your father and tell him I shall call in on him sometime tomorrow.”
He turned around to leave, but Elizabeth didn’t want him to just go like that. To her relief she noticed that Mary had retreated a bit into the entrance hall, so if she whispered ...
“James!”
She had spoken very quietly, but he had heard her, looking at her once more.
“I really, really enjoyed today. Thanks a lot. For everything. I hope we can repeat that sometime.”
And she was certain he understood everything she meant to say with only those few words. His mask of indifference slipped and he was showing his brilliant smile again.
“I very much hope so as well, Elizabeth. Good night and sweet dreams.”
With that he left, vanishing into the gloom of the quickly falling darkness.
888
Later, while lying in her bed, Elizabeth’s thoughts were still on the passed day. There had been so much laughter, so much fun. So much different from her everyday life.
“If only it could always be like today”, were her last conscious thoughts before she drifted of to sleep, dreaming about graceful, slender ships bringing her the horizon ....
THE END
___________________________________________________________________________
Tell me what you think about it, I'm always glad to hear another opinion.. By the way, I know Elizabeth wouldn’t have dressed herself, but I wanted to have it this way. Call it artistic liscense.