(no subject)
Elizabeth should have fallen right to sleep as exhausted as she was, but sleep eluded her. She couldn’t stop thinking. If only Will were here…Will would make sure the Crew followed orders the first time they were given, not the second or the third, Will would have known what to do when James leapt from the bed with a ferocity she wouldn’t forget, Will could take the wheel and she wouldn’t have to worry, Will could hold her until she fell fast asleep. She was exhausted and spent and angry. Angry that she was alone. Angry that no one listened. Angry that at this moment, she didn’t remember where they were going, and frankly she didn’t care. Angry that she wasn’t proving much of a Captain in her estimation. And there was something else…worry. She was terrified. She got up from her chair and walked over to James, who lay in a sleep so deep, no dream could find him there. In a sleep so deep, he may never rouse again. Where the hell was Will?
Her back was killing her. She sat down on the bed for just a moment. She put her hand on his heart to feel a strong, steady beat that belied the way he looked and brought a smile to her face. But just for a moment. She lay down and realized her shoulders had been up around her ears. She relaxed and listened to the steady sound of his breathing, but only for a moment.
Elizabeth opened her eyes as light streamed into the room from the portholes. From the position of the sun, she guessed it was nearly 9 am, later than she usually slept. But that wasn’t the strange part. She was snuggled up against one Admiral James Norrington, his dark head tucked beneath her chin. One of her hands was pressed against his heart and the other one, he was in possession of. And possession was the right word. Unconscious or not, he clung to her hand in a way that made it clear he had no intention of letting go.
The Doctor walked in then and Elizabeth sprung from the bed as if it were on fire. James stirred and moaned, but remained asleep.
The Doctor smirked again, but did not share his thoughts this time. He pressed a hand to James’s wound and frowned.
“How is he?” she asked.
“I do not know”, he said. “I will check back soon.”
Elizabeth stretched, blinked her eyes, and walked to the door. She was a Captain now; she had duties. Where was she supposed to be going? She could not even remember. Oh yes, Shipwreck Cove. It would be a long trip.
Elizabeth took her turn at the wheel, yelled so hard she nearly lost her voice at Jan, who was supposed to be in the Crow’s Nest, but chose to do whatever the bloody hell he wanted, and kicked over a bucket of soapy water that belonged to a sailor who seemed to think it was for soaking his shipmates instead of cleaning the deck.
She sat down on the stairs leading to the wheel and took a deep breath. Jinx sat down next to her.
“Hard Captain”, he said with a smile.
She smiled back. “Hardly Captain, you mean”, she said, “But they’ve had better than a week to get used to me. I can’t be the “girl” anymore, I have to be the Captain or we’re all in trouble for sure. They have to listen to me, even if they’d rather get the Pox.”
“You are new”, he said, “New Captains always must prove themselves, and you are a woman, an English woman.” She admired how he attempted to keep the disdain from his voice. “Your road - especially long.”
She let out a heavy sigh. “You are also worried about the Navy man”, he said. “The Crew are talking. They want to know if he is your man. If he will be Captain when he recovers. He has a reputation, the Sea Wolf”, he said with an edge, “They obey you more than you think. Last night, they wanted to toss him to the sharks.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “No, no, and no”, she said. “He is not my man, he will not be the Captain, and you may not toss him overboard.” She laughed then.
“Good to see you smile”, Jinx said. “They will be relieved.”
“If they have a question, why don’t they ask me?” she asked with irritation.
“English woman”, he said with a laugh, and walked away.
She returned to James’s side every hour or two, and as the sun set, she found the Doctor standing over him.
“The wound is hot to the touch; it may be infected”, the Doctor said. No warning, no words of comfort, just that news, and it sliced through her like a hot knife.
Elizabeth felt her stomach drop to her feet.
“Please try”, were the only soft words she said.
The Doctor left and returned with thick white cloths soaked in cold water. "I will need to do this all night", he said.
"I'll do it", she said, taking them from him, and placing one of the cloths on James's forehead.
“The Captain must prepare herself for the worst”, the Doctor said, nodded, and left them alone.
The tears she had not shed till now streamed down her face. She picked up the footstool, the pillow, a bucket on the floor and threw them as hard as she could, shattering a porthole for her trouble. Where the hell was Will? Where was he? He was with Jack of course. With Jack, just when she needed him most.
Her large golden eyes filling with tears, she lay down next to the Admiral, a hand near his wound checking to see if it got hotter, meaning the infection was worse.
Instinctively, he moved closer, and then she moved closer, as if they were playing a treacherous chess game. She ought to be in her own quarters and she knew it. Yes, she was playing a game, she thought, one in which every player was guaranteed to lose.
James was not awake, but he was aware. He knew he was in trouble. There was a ladder before him and he constantly tried climbing it again and again toward the sound of voices, but he kept slipping and falling. Now he knew he was asleep, but knew he was alive also. He was making progress. And he heard the unmistakable voice. Her. She cried often and he could feel her long, elegant fingers touching him like gentle butterflies.
He felt her measure his large hand against her smaller one and raise his hand to her lips, to shower it in kisses and hot tears.
She kept crying and he had to make her stop. Whatever ailed her, he would cure it. Whoever hurt her, he would remove them. Where was his sword? Elizabeth needed him. His eyes shot open and he was astounded to find himself in a bed, clearly onboard a ship with a slumbering Elizabeth curled neatly into his side. One small move cost him dearly and told him all was not well. He was hurt, badly hurt. But now he was awake. She instantly came awake when he did and found herself staring into emerald eyes.
No one spoke.
James was a man of order. He liked punctuality, he hated giving an order twice, and he liked clarity. He had found his footing on a rolling ship at the age 13 and refused to lose balance again after that. But the moment Miss Elizabeth Swann came into his life, he had lost his balance and hadn’t regained it since. He wanted to know what was going on, where he was, what had happened, and why the angel of all his dreams was cuddled beside him, holding him as if her very determination could keep him here on earth. He should ask all these things, but couldn’t. He had never been this close to Elizabeth before and could not bring himself to shatter it so soon. She said nothing, so neither did he. She kissed him on the forehead and tucked his dark head beneath her chin again.
Comfort. He hadn’t known it since his own mother had been taken so suddenly when he was only 7 years of age. But comfort had returned, and like a starving man, he couldn’t let it go. He would enjoy sharing a bed with Elizabeth, he thought, if only for one night, the way they should have drifted off to sleep every night if only she had loved him.
They both stirred as the light of a new day entered the chamber. Elizabeth opened her golden eyes to find bright green ones staring back at her. His wound was pink instead of red and had cooled.
She hugged him fiercely. “You’re better!” she cried. He let out a yowl from the depths of hell.
“Oh, I’m so sorry”, she said, backing off. She jumped out of the bed.
Inwardly cursing his wound, he was very sorry to have her leave when it had been so nice with her lying right there.
“It’s quite alright”, the Admiral in him said quickly.
“Stop being so noble, James, I put pressure on your wound and it hurts, feel free to curse me if you want”, she said.
I am the one who is cursed; he said to himself but remained silent.
The Doctor entered then, again with little warning. He looked no less than astounded to find his patient awake and attempting to sit upright.
“Lie still!” he ordered.
“It’s okay, he won’t be trouble this time, will he?” Elizabeth asked him pointedly.
“I don’t know who you are, but it’s safe to say I’m used to being in pain whenever Miss Swann is around”, James said. Her smile disappeared and she looked crestfallen. He instantly regretted the words, but as he always seemed to do, once he had hurt someone, he seemed unable to stop himself from going for the kill. Whether it was years of training, or his own nature, he couldn’t be sure.
“Or is it Mrs. Turner, now?” he asked. “We didn’t speak much aboard the Dutchman, but if you have saved my life, I take it you’re speaking to me again?” he asked.
“You can speak to the Doctor, I have a job to do”, she hissed and ran out of the room, hoping to hide her tears, but failing at it.
“Elizabeth!” James called out. Why did he always do that?! He cursed himself.
“You are a lucky Navy man”, the Doctor said, “Luckier than Bloody Norrington deserves to be. You take lives, but you retain yours.” He left no question about his feelings.
“Thank you, you must be a most able Doctor”, James said, trying to be nice.
“Thank the Captain, your body would be sunk beneath the waves if it had been my decision”, the Doctor said and left.
James shook his head at himself. He certainly knew how to make friends.
Hours later, her anger abated, Elizabeth returned to check on James, only to hear an absurd amount of screaming coming from the chamber, and not screams of pain. They were screams of outrage.
Jinx sat on the edge of the bed, attempting to spoon what looked like goo into James’s mouth. James smacked the man’s hand and the spoon had flown across the room.
“Must keep your strength”, Jinx said.
“You will kill me with this vile trash”, James shouted, “I am a man, I need meat to regain my strength, not baby food.” Elizabeth could not help but laugh. James never changed.
She opened the door, and when they spotted her, they stopped arguing.
“He will not eat!” Jinx spat.
“I’m sorry, James, but we simply do not have many resources before we reach Shipwreck Cove. We have to make do with what we have”, she said.
“You eat this moist goo?” he asked and she could not help but laugh again.
“I do”, she said.
“An abomination”, he stated, “But I will attempt to eat some of this goo if it is administered by the lady’s hand. Her gentle ways are far superior to yours”, he said with no grace. Jinx grunted.
Elizabeth knew a ploy if she’d ever seen one. She nodded to Jinx, taking the bowl and the spoon from him.
She sat down on the bed as Jinx left, none too gentle about bumping the bed and causing him any pain.
She lifted a spoon of the aptly named goo to his lips and he swallowed it. “You must eat”, she said, “I need you healthy and whole.”
Her concern fired his heart, but he knew to her, he was nothing but an injured friend.
“I can be whole enough if need be. My sword arm has been yours since I first met you on your passage to England”, he answered.
“I know”, she said, raising the spoon to his lips again.
“I’m sorry”, he said in the tone of a man unaccustomed to apologizing, “What I said earlier was hurtful. You saved my life and I should be thanking you. So, thank you.”
“You’re welcome”, she said simply.
To James, the silence was deafening. He hated her. She had destroyed him, turned him from the finest and most feared Naval officer ever to protect British Jamaica and turned him into a drunken rum pot without a shred of hope. She had dangled that Turner boy beneath his nose, a blacksmith’s assistant so clearly below her station, he shouldn’t have been allowed to polish her boots. James himself had worshipped her from afar for years waiting for promotion after promotion, simply so he could support her in the manner she had become accustomed to before he asked for her hand. Will stole her hand without a care in the world for such niceties as say…a roof over their married heads.
“So…are you Mrs. Turner?” he finally asked.
She gave him a smirk then, a smirk that said I’d like to hurt you like you hurt me. But it faded. “No” she answered, “I am still Miss Swann.”
Now James looked confused. “Why aren’t you married? I know Turner would have married you the day after the Sparrow creature fell from the parapets if he could have.”
“Sparrow creature?” she asked and burst out laughing. “Jack is a great pain in the ass, as you know”, she said, with no concern for her unladylike language, “But he has a heart of gold.”
“Is that why he sold your beloved to Davy Jones to settle his debt?” James asked with a hard laugh.
He’d done it again. “I am sorry”, he started.
“No”, she said, “You’re right. Jack is perhaps the most selfish person I’ve ever known. But he’s so charming, no one cares. As you know, Beckett came to arrest the three of us. Everything since then has been a blur. But as usual, the trouble began with good ole Jack. But I owe him…..”
“What could you possibly owe Sparrow?” he asked.
“Captain Sparrow”, she replied, an automatic reaction for her now, no matter to whom she was speaking. “I did something terrible to him.”
James thought the most horrible thing she’d ever done was destroy a man, though she hadn’t intended to.
“You know he was taken by Davy Jones? Taken by the Kraken to the Locker?” she asked.
“I don’t know much of what has transpired since I last saw you Isla Cruces. I took the heart. I gave it to Beckett, which of course you know, and will not forgive me for”, he said.
“I know you did it, and I know why you did it, and I know you loved my father almost as much as I did”, she said, “I forgive you.”
His heart leapt in his chest. It wasn’t everything, but it was a start.
“I did it”, she said, with an air of the confessional around her, “I killed Jack. I sacrificed him to the Kraken to save the rest of us - myself, Will, and the Crew. It was my fault he died.”
“I see”, James said, somewhat shaken. He hadn’t believed the angel of dreams capable of such a thing, but then again forgetting she was a real woman with real desires is why he lost her in the first place.
“You must miss him”, he said, though every syllable cost him.
“Who?” she asked, and for a moment, his heart swelled.
“Mr. Turner”, he said.
“Oh yes, yes, I miss him”, she said. And she hated herself for the fact that she hadn’t thought of him all day.
“When will you marry?” he asked. God help him, he seemed determined to break his own heart all over again.
“The first chance we get”, she said with an unconvincing smile, “Soon, very soon. As soon as he comes back. He’s with Jack.”
“Well there’s a guarantee to one’s safety”, James joked.
He was pleased to see her smile.
Little did either of them know that Will was no longer with Jack. Jack had found him tossing barrels and bodies overboard to keep Beckett following and had tossed the lad overboard himself, but not before sending Will away with the compass.
Will had been picked up by Beckett by morning. Negotiations. Will was angry. Everything was a negotiation, everyone, a betrayer. He could not even speak to Elizabeth, the one person he trusted to be honest, without discovering she had decided to do something behind his back. He had to maintain focus, here in the elegant cabin of Thomas Beckett, a room more elegant than any he would have been allowed to enter on land, unless Elizabeth was by his side of course. He imagined Beckett was the worst creature of all, obsessed with his own comfort, but inside, a true madman who didn’t mind murdering in cold blood.
Beckett had a parlay in mind. He wanted Jack, good leverage to have when dealing with Jones. Will sipped his tea and watched the treacherous little man. Will was alarmed at how good he had become at pretending. They both pretended to be civil to each other. He would pretend anything needed to get the Pearl and free his father. Just as he pretended he still trusted his fiancé.