Fic: Call Down the Stars in the Sky
Ava
She only told him to get out because he seemed determined to leave and he hadn’t kissed her yet. Ava was pissed as all hell. She thought she’d made her views clear.
As her anger led to panic when she saw he would do as she demanded, her thoughts went to his hand in hers, steadying her shaking fingers, even when it was he who’d been knocked down by those Bennett boys. She thought of him saying “us” and meaning “you and me,” “Ava and Boyd” and the look on his face when she repeated it back to him as he realized he’d said it aloud. She didn’t understand how he could think she’d really meant him to leave. But she’d be damned if she would take back any words she said to him.
They’d been so in sync while the Bennett affair had gone down. She’d felt like they were partners. He’d told her everything and she’d seen the smile on his face when he came out of that meeting with Mags and the mine woman. She knew how happy that success had made him. She could look at that smile all day and feel as warm as if the sun was beaming down on her skin.
She didn’t know what else it could mean-Ava was in love with Boyd Crowder. And he was walking out her door.
Boyd
Boyd didn’t think Ava quite understood the task he was about to undertake in the county of Harlan. There was a storm brewing and it was of his making. He would not see her tossed about and shattered under the force of his actions.
He saw the disappointment in her face as he turned to the door at her bidding, but he dared not think of what it was he was really turning his back on. He couldn’t.
Ava had truly healed his soul. Had it not been for the duty of getting up every day to bring money into that house for her, so that he could live there, so that she could keep her home, Boyd didn’t know what would have happened to him.
He probably would have let Kyle and his boys do what they wanted inside that mine. It probably wouldn’t have mattered if he was quick witted enough to realize their scheme in time, there would have been no Ava at home to dial Kyle’s phone. Boyd would have died with Shelby.
But it didn’t matter that he would have died without her, because he could barely comprehend how he was going to live outside this house. Logically, intellectually, Boyd knew he could do it; he’d be staying with Johnny, there was no doubt he’d get his cousin on his side.
It was these few steps out the door that were killing him.
He would come get his things when she was gone from the house. He wouldn’t look at her again, not that way, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. Because when she healed him of that ravaging sickness that had furrowed deep inside his heart and soul, with only a bit of shelter and that kind, girlish smile, Ava had secretly stolen them both. And Boyd was leaving them in her hands, well behind him.
He told himself he wouldn’t need them here he was going.
Ava
Ava did not like how quiet the house was. It was strange because Boyd was not a loud presence, yet without him the house seemed to have fallen asleep. The sun shone in brightly through the windows, but there was an eerie stillness that unsettled Ava. It had not been there before Boyd moved himself into her life.
After making herself a silent dinner and eating it alone, Ava could not stand to be inside the place any longer. She remembered once, weeks ago, Boyd had told her that he used to go out the back of the Crowder house and stargaze when Bo's business was being dealt with inside. He said he'd learned all the names of the constellations, but never told anyone, never talked about it. He said he liked it that way, like they were only for him. He could whisper their names and pretend they would fall for him.
Ava thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard. So that night, she fled the stifling quiet of the house and went outside to look at the stars.
Boyd
Boyd went to the house again because he couldn’t help himself. He thought of it still as “the house” and not “Ava’s house.” And despite his realizing the incongruity of his own thinking, he did not try and correct himself. He wanted to hold onto this frame of mind for just a little longer.
It was a self-indulgent thing to do, and that left him with a troubled feeling for which he did not care at all. Returning to the house was also self-indulgent; all his possessions had already been moved out. But Boyd had gone anyway, driving fast away from Johnny’s bar, as if he could outrun the devious plans he was making-because he couldn’t help himself.
He wanted badly to see her again, this woman who had somehow been a constant in his life, despite the fact that every other aspect of it had changed as often as the wind. She had been an invariable presence; the girl from the holler, the wife of his brother, somehow, inevitably, his healer, his equal, his partner.
Ava was as constant to him as the stars in the sky.
Boyd approached the house, turning with practiced ease from the road and pulling up the drive slowly. He wanted to completely take it in. The house seemed to drift, an orangey glow in a sea of darkness with the spare light from the moon and the stars shining down. It was a haven, a home, the first Boyd had known in a very long time. And it would be nothing to him without the woman who lived there.
He felt a surge of warmth at the sight of it, at the thought of the beautiful Ava, who he had left that morning with anger and hurt in her eyes. The discord within Boyd threatened to sink deeper towards the kind of despair that had swallowed him whole when he first came there, but he felt that same warmth meet it, buoying him. He, usually so certain of himself, did not know what he would do without her, what he would fall to.
It scared him, and he got out of the truck with hands that threatened to tremble. He could feel some kind of invisible thread, drawing him towards the house, back to Ava. Boyd planted his feet and only allowed himself to look at her window, knowing she must be asleep by the late hour.
He would not go to her, but watch, only, from a safe distance.
Ava
When she saw him pull up the drive from where she stood at the side of the house, Ava felt no confusion at all. She had a feeling he would return at some point. She just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
She could see Boyd’s agitation in the way he held himself. He was still and tense, his shoulders hunched as if he were trying to make himself smaller, less. It was so like those first weeks he had spent inside her home that Ava thought for a moment that they really had gone back to square one.
But he straightened as he looked at the house, as Ava approached from behind and called to him.
Boyd
When he heard her voice, Boyd almost did not believe she was there. He thought perhaps he had wanted her so badly that he’d forced some kind of vision upon himself. But she raised her eyebrows at him in her familiar way and he knew the truth of her.
He decided he could not grant her any less than that.
The words were inconsequential. There was only Ava and Boyd and when she kissed him everything fell away, even the stars in the sky.
She only told him to get out because he seemed determined to leave and he hadn’t kissed her yet. Ava was pissed as all hell. She thought she’d made her views clear.
As her anger led to panic when she saw he would do as she demanded, her thoughts went to his hand in hers, steadying her shaking fingers, even when it was he who’d been knocked down by those Bennett boys. She thought of him saying “us” and meaning “you and me,” “Ava and Boyd” and the look on his face when she repeated it back to him as he realized he’d said it aloud. She didn’t understand how he could think she’d really meant him to leave. But she’d be damned if she would take back any words she said to him.
They’d been so in sync while the Bennett affair had gone down. She’d felt like they were partners. He’d told her everything and she’d seen the smile on his face when he came out of that meeting with Mags and the mine woman. She knew how happy that success had made him. She could look at that smile all day and feel as warm as if the sun was beaming down on her skin.
She didn’t know what else it could mean-Ava was in love with Boyd Crowder. And he was walking out her door.
Boyd
Boyd didn’t think Ava quite understood the task he was about to undertake in the county of Harlan. There was a storm brewing and it was of his making. He would not see her tossed about and shattered under the force of his actions.
He saw the disappointment in her face as he turned to the door at her bidding, but he dared not think of what it was he was really turning his back on. He couldn’t.
Ava had truly healed his soul. Had it not been for the duty of getting up every day to bring money into that house for her, so that he could live there, so that she could keep her home, Boyd didn’t know what would have happened to him.
He probably would have let Kyle and his boys do what they wanted inside that mine. It probably wouldn’t have mattered if he was quick witted enough to realize their scheme in time, there would have been no Ava at home to dial Kyle’s phone. Boyd would have died with Shelby.
But it didn’t matter that he would have died without her, because he could barely comprehend how he was going to live outside this house. Logically, intellectually, Boyd knew he could do it; he’d be staying with Johnny, there was no doubt he’d get his cousin on his side.
It was these few steps out the door that were killing him.
He would come get his things when she was gone from the house. He wouldn’t look at her again, not that way, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. Because when she healed him of that ravaging sickness that had furrowed deep inside his heart and soul, with only a bit of shelter and that kind, girlish smile, Ava had secretly stolen them both. And Boyd was leaving them in her hands, well behind him.
He told himself he wouldn’t need them here he was going.
Ava
Ava did not like how quiet the house was. It was strange because Boyd was not a loud presence, yet without him the house seemed to have fallen asleep. The sun shone in brightly through the windows, but there was an eerie stillness that unsettled Ava. It had not been there before Boyd moved himself into her life.
After making herself a silent dinner and eating it alone, Ava could not stand to be inside the place any longer. She remembered once, weeks ago, Boyd had told her that he used to go out the back of the Crowder house and stargaze when Bo's business was being dealt with inside. He said he'd learned all the names of the constellations, but never told anyone, never talked about it. He said he liked it that way, like they were only for him. He could whisper their names and pretend they would fall for him.
Ava thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard. So that night, she fled the stifling quiet of the house and went outside to look at the stars.
Boyd
Boyd went to the house again because he couldn’t help himself. He thought of it still as “the house” and not “Ava’s house.” And despite his realizing the incongruity of his own thinking, he did not try and correct himself. He wanted to hold onto this frame of mind for just a little longer.
It was a self-indulgent thing to do, and that left him with a troubled feeling for which he did not care at all. Returning to the house was also self-indulgent; all his possessions had already been moved out. But Boyd had gone anyway, driving fast away from Johnny’s bar, as if he could outrun the devious plans he was making-because he couldn’t help himself.
He wanted badly to see her again, this woman who had somehow been a constant in his life, despite the fact that every other aspect of it had changed as often as the wind. She had been an invariable presence; the girl from the holler, the wife of his brother, somehow, inevitably, his healer, his equal, his partner.
Ava was as constant to him as the stars in the sky.
Boyd approached the house, turning with practiced ease from the road and pulling up the drive slowly. He wanted to completely take it in. The house seemed to drift, an orangey glow in a sea of darkness with the spare light from the moon and the stars shining down. It was a haven, a home, the first Boyd had known in a very long time. And it would be nothing to him without the woman who lived there.
He felt a surge of warmth at the sight of it, at the thought of the beautiful Ava, who he had left that morning with anger and hurt in her eyes. The discord within Boyd threatened to sink deeper towards the kind of despair that had swallowed him whole when he first came there, but he felt that same warmth meet it, buoying him. He, usually so certain of himself, did not know what he would do without her, what he would fall to.
It scared him, and he got out of the truck with hands that threatened to tremble. He could feel some kind of invisible thread, drawing him towards the house, back to Ava. Boyd planted his feet and only allowed himself to look at her window, knowing she must be asleep by the late hour.
He would not go to her, but watch, only, from a safe distance.
Ava
When she saw him pull up the drive from where she stood at the side of the house, Ava felt no confusion at all. She had a feeling he would return at some point. She just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
She could see Boyd’s agitation in the way he held himself. He was still and tense, his shoulders hunched as if he were trying to make himself smaller, less. It was so like those first weeks he had spent inside her home that Ava thought for a moment that they really had gone back to square one.
But he straightened as he looked at the house, as Ava approached from behind and called to him.
Boyd
When he heard her voice, Boyd almost did not believe she was there. He thought perhaps he had wanted her so badly that he’d forced some kind of vision upon himself. But she raised her eyebrows at him in her familiar way and he knew the truth of her.
He decided he could not grant her any less than that.
The words were inconsequential. There was only Ava and Boyd and when she kissed him everything fell away, even the stars in the sky.