Hi. I was also diagnosed late in the game. I had problems since childhood, but nobody knew what it was until I was 22 years old. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find the greatest resources. Everything seems geared at kids and their parents
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Yes, I get overwhelmed and I don't process when people throw lots of info at me, or I don't remember having had conversations sometimes. I'm bad with names and faces, so I tell people up front when I meet them. I put lots of things in writing, I should remember to ask that of others. And clear, step-by-step directions, as well. REPETITION is key for me. I need LOTS of it before some things sink in. My distance and speed judging sucks, but I can park okay. It does make me a less assertive driver when it comes to doing things like merging onto the highway. I like driving better with a passenger who can spot for me, but I am okay by myself, albeit a little stressed
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I just don't know how to read social cues. I have a hard time figuring out someone's interest level when I'm talking with them, and sometimes I don't realise that I'm coming off as annoying until that ship has sailed. I have a hard time getting along conversationally.
i let people know right up front, "hey, let me know if i'm talking too much because i dont always notice." i try to say it in a confidant kind of way tho so they dont think i'm just being insecure. sometimes people will try to reassure you "oh no you're fine" when they are just being polite, so i make sure they understand i'm being serious and not just fishing for a compliment.
I got diagnosed late-ish as well--16 years old. Most of my coping problems were stress-related, which I had to learn to deal with by simply that, dealing with it.
I've tried meditation, yoga, guided relaxation, and maybe the only one that works is progressive muscle relaxation, but I need someone to guide me through it, and you can't do that just anywhere.
Ooh, I should get back to yoga. I am thinking of getting Wii Fit to help with that. Gaming makes my brain happy, so exercise + positive reinforcement = win.
I was diagnosed in my late 30s, comorbid with Asperger's Syndrome. If I know I'm going to see someone more than once -- employers and co-workers, people I see as friends, my partner especially -- I give them information that I am lousy at reading non-verbal cues, that I cannot read facial expressions, that I am likely to take things literally so please limit the figurative language, and that I learn best from being shown rather than merely told, though written instructions will do if a visual demonstration isn't possible.
You might try looking for books written for adults with Asperger's. There aren't many -- like with NLD, most books are geared toward children and parents -- but people with Asperger's and people with NLD have similar problems, and there are at least a few books for adult Aspies.
I'm okay with figurative language MOST of the time? But sometimes I can't tell if someone is being literal or figurative, serious or joking or sarcastic. It depends on if I can read their tone or not, I guess? And how well I know them, because over time I get a sense of how people communicate and I can use that to help me figure out what the likely answer is.
This is true, I should check out Aspie stuff. I definitely have some Aspie traits, but it's unclear if I have enough of the traits to be technically Aspie, and to me, the label doesn't matter so much as the coping. (It looks like I might also have OCD and ADD/ADHD traits as well, some of which are more problematic than others. Comorbidity FTL!) Thanks, I'll definitely make a note to look into that.
NLD and Asperger's share a lot of the same traits, and some people have suggested that either they're the same thing or that NLD should be included as an autism spectrum disorder. I think two of the main differences are that people with NLD don't have perseverations (becoming fixated on one particular subject, like trains or cats or rainbows) and don't stim (physical tics).
With some people, I can tell that they're joking. My diabetes doctor, whom I've known for more than ten years, jokes a lot but he usually checks to make sure that I know he's joking. I find it harder to tell in things like emails unless people use emoticons.
Sometimes I assume that people are joking when they're not. That can cause just as many problems as not knowing they're joking when they are!
Occasionally I still miss jokes and sarcasm. While I have a decently respectful IQ, when stuff like that happens, I feel just plain dumb. >.< I have to keep reminding myself that everyone makes mistakes like that sometimes, and we can't be experts in everything.
I have had NVLD since diagnosed since I was a kid. I am twenty-two. I think reading people can be difficult and also get frustrated about not understanding people some times. Sometimes I walk away from those moments and take five minutes to regroup.
In my relationships I am very forward with people about not beating around the bush with me. I tell them that they need to just let me know when they are upset or what they need straight up no sugar coating. I also am aware of my tendencies to overreact when frustrated so I let people know that sometimes I'll be upset but I typically get over it in five minutes.
I also know that I read up on social situations by reading about body language in books. IE (body language for dummies).
I actually prefer "thon", which is an actual word with historical use (it comes from the same root as "they" and "their" and fell into disuse), but I know a lot of people have never heard of it, so I tend to mix and match various gender-neutral pronouns when the situation calls for it. :D
I tell people that I am painfully honest and while I can temper with tact, I expect them to tell me the honest truth or not tell me at all. Tact and polite lies can confuse the shit out of me depending on what how well I know a person, but at least I've learned that "how are you" doesn't usually mean that unless you know someone well and "come over for dinner sometime" might not actually be an invitation.
Come to think of it, I don't know how good I *am* on body language, so I should definitely read up. If I already know it, that only serves as a refresher, and if I don't, well, then, that's a seriously important thing to learn. Thanks!
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I've tried meditation, yoga, guided relaxation, and maybe the only one that works is progressive muscle relaxation, but I need someone to guide me through it, and you can't do that just anywhere.
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You might try looking for books written for adults with Asperger's. There aren't many -- like with NLD, most books are geared toward children and parents -- but people with Asperger's and people with NLD have similar problems, and there are at least a few books for adult Aspies.
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This is true, I should check out Aspie stuff. I definitely have some Aspie traits, but it's unclear if I have enough of the traits to be technically Aspie, and to me, the label doesn't matter so much as the coping. (It looks like I might also have OCD and ADD/ADHD traits as well, some of which are more problematic than others. Comorbidity FTL!) Thanks, I'll definitely make a note to look into that.
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With some people, I can tell that they're joking. My diabetes doctor, whom I've known for more than ten years, jokes a lot but he usually checks to make sure that I know he's joking. I find it harder to tell in things like emails unless people use emoticons.
Sometimes I assume that people are joking when they're not. That can cause just as many problems as not knowing they're joking when they are!
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I have had NVLD since diagnosed since I was a kid. I am twenty-two. I think reading people can be difficult and also get frustrated about not understanding people some times. Sometimes I walk away from those moments and take five minutes to regroup.
In my relationships I am very forward with people about not beating around the bush with me. I tell them that they need to just let me know when they are upset or what they need straight up no sugar coating. I also am aware of my tendencies to overreact when frustrated so I let people know that sometimes I'll be upset but I typically get over it in five minutes.
I also know that I read up on social situations by reading about body language in books. IE (body language for dummies).
Hope this helps you!
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I tell people that I am painfully honest and while I can temper with tact, I expect them to tell me the honest truth or not tell me at all. Tact and polite lies can confuse the shit out of me depending on what how well I know a person, but at least I've learned that "how are you" doesn't usually mean that unless you know someone well and "come over for dinner sometime" might not actually be an invitation.
Come to think of it, I don't know how good I *am* on body language, so I should definitely read up. If I already know it, that only serves as a refresher, and if I don't, well, then, that's a seriously important thing to learn. Thanks!
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