kink_bingo: CleaningBot (prologue)
“I think we need a cleaning robot.”
Pete is welcomed home by his wife’s decision a mere second after he’s stepped out of the sliding door. He has to agree with her: her maternity leave is almost over and they’ll be both busy at work for many hours, they won’t have too much time to take care of Bronx and the house.
“Uhm, okay,” he accepts, flopping on the couch after a stressing day at office. Bronx crawls up his leg, showing Pete his rare toothed smile and bouncy blonde curls.
“Hey, B,” Pete greets, taking his kid up and blowing raspberries on his tummy. Hemingway and Rigby pad towards their owner, the older dog laying at Pete’s feet and the younger one yapping happily at him.
“Pete, I found something,” Ashlee calls from the computer station, internet browser open on the site of a pretty well known firm of robots.
Pete leaves Bronx with the dogs and joins Ashlee, sitting near her at the desk. When she clicks the Cleaning Robots section of the menu, a long list of products complete with preview photos and brief descriptions of functions appears on the monitor.
“Whoa, they sure have an established business, look at how many sold out products they have!” Pete notices impressed.
“Yeah…I hope the other products are as valid as the sold ones,” Ashlee points out pensive.
They scroll the page up and down, until they have only two ‘candidates’: a female robot named Greta and a male robot named Patrick. It’s a hard choice because they both clean, of course, but can also cook, sing and take care of babies and animals.
“Mmmrr…Gah, I don’t know, Ash, they’re both…perfect!” Pete exclaims exasperated after a good half hour.
“I know, Pete, I know…” Ashlee groans back, “…Rock Paper Scissors? I’m Greta and you’re Patrick,” she finally proposes.
“Fair enough.”
“Rock, paper scissors!” they chants: the first time they both get scissors, but at the second time Pete wins with paper over rock.
“I guess we’ll have a Patrick,” Pete announces.
Ashlee clicks the ‘Purchase’ button.
A few hours later, their mailbox beeps: Pete clicks the ‘Incoming mail-tall box’ notification on the screen and their package materializes. With some effort he manages to drag the box in the living room and he presses a button to open it, his family expectantly looking at him -and the box- from the couch.
The box opens silently to allow a platform to slid outside, showing the box’s content: a humanoid robot, fairly short and chubby, is holding an instructions guide and has its eyes closed, waiting for its new master to bring him to life.
“All riiiiight, let’s see,” Pete says, flicking the guide’s touch screen, “Thanks for purchasing, blah blah blah. To input the data, take the right ear off and connect it to the USB door of your computer: a window will appear, and after clicking on the ‘FAMILY’ file you’ll be able to write the information. Blah blah blah. To switch the robot on, off or put it in standby, press the softer spot under the hat; to recharge the robot, open the compartment on the nape on his neck and extract the cable to connect it to electricity. Ok I can do it,“ Pete declares, putting the guide on the floor.
“You never read the instructions in their entirety, do you?” Ashlee asks, resigned to her husband’s habits.
Pete waves her off while fumbling with the robot’s ear. He’s also marveled by the softness of the skin and of the hair, they did a great job with the realism.
The ear finally comes off and Pete is able complete the never-ending questionnaire to input in the robot before switching it on: the robot is slightly shorter than him, so when he takes the hat off he can see fairly well a balding spot under the thin reddish hair and presses it, assuming it is what the guide referred to as ‘soft spot’.
A whirling noise follows the ignition and two green eyes blink open.
“Good evening, family Wentz. My name is Patrick and I’m your CleaningBot,” the robot’s cordial voice pronounces, without mechanical inflections.
Pete and Ashlee look at it a bit dumbstruck while the dogs sniff it warily, but Bronx beams at the new member of the family, earning a sweet smile from Patrick.
That smile immediately charms Pete, and not in the professional way.
Ashlee is the first to recover, “Hello Patrick, welcome in our family, I’m Ashlee,” she greets, nudging Pete.
“Oh, uh, I’m Pete, hi,” he says.
Patrick bows to both of them, then crouches down to scratch the dogs’ heads, immediately winning them over.
“According to the data you input, you have already had dinner, by this time, or do you need me to prepare you something?” Patrick asks.
“Don’t worry, we’ve already eaten. You can relax for tonight, you can start working tomorrow,” Ashlee says with a bright smile.
“As you wish,” the robot replies with another bow.
“Well, night time, B,” Ashlee announces, scooping Bronx up, “say goodnight.”
Bronx waves goodnight to his father and Patrick before disappearing behind the sliding door of his bedroom.
Pete feels uneasy, he doesn’t know what to do with a robot in his house, especially not with such a human-like robot: should he offer a beer? Does it need a bed to rest for the night? Besides, he’s always had a soft spot for red heads…
Patrick must feel his nervousness, “Any question about my functions? Do you need to explain me something that wasn’t included in the input file?” he asks kindly, but still professional.
“Uh…I was just wondering…if you want something to drink?” Pete finally asks, feeling an idiot.
The robot chuckles, “No, sir, thank you.”
”Okay, and…do you need a bed when you’re recharging or you’re off?”
“Well, we usually stand in a corner, or in a closet…” Patrick starts saying.
“No way I’ll put you in a closet,” Pete states all worked up, “we have a guest room, it can be yours and you can furnish it as you like.”
A faint blush appears on Patrick’s round cheeks -jesus, if Pete didn’t know he bought a robot and heard the mechanical noise it made when he turned it on, he’d think they just sent him a real man to work for him.
“Thank you, sir,” Patrick says gratefully, looking down at his colorful shoes.
“Please, don’t call me ‘sir’, I feel old. My name’s Pete,” the man smiles.
“Okay, Pete,” the robot says with a hint of a smirk, making Pete blush as well.
He clears his throat, “Well, you don’t have to work tonight so…I’ll show you your room. Do you need to recharge during your sleep?”
“It’s better to connect me to electricity the day of the purchase. After that, I usually I recharge about once a week,” Patrick explains, not commenting about how what he just said was written in the guide that Pete should have read.
“There’s a double outlet between the night table and the bed; one is for the lamp, but you can use the spare one,” Pete explains once they enter the spare room down the hallway, flicking the light on, “Do you need help with the cable in your neck?”
“Thank you,” Patrick says, moving the longish hair out of the way to allow Pete to open the compartment.
The peachy skin is so soft under his fingertips, the thin light hairs feel like feathers…Pete can’t resist and quickly pecks Patrick’s neck before opening it to extract the cable. Patrick stiffens and turns sharply towards Pete, but the man has his head down, looking at the cable.
“I…uh…I think I’m going to bed as well,” Pete finally states, giving the robot his cable, “Good night,” he says, hurrying to the door.
“Good night,” Patrick replies shyly to the already closing door, connecting himself to the outlet. He takes his hat off and pushes his bald spot, turning itself in standby.
“I’m really curious to see Patrick at work!” Ashlee comments excitedly when Pete enters their bedroom, stripping down to his boxers before getting in bed.
“Yeah…me too…” he mutters, hugging Ashlee close to him.
‘It’s just a robot, I love Ashlee. Just a robot. I love her,’ Pete repeats in his mind, trying to fall asleep.