Tigers, grapes and on being over the hill: a naval spouse writes
I recently visited the newly opened Caird libarary in Greenwich as part of the research anteros_lmc and I are doing for our conference presentation and while checking on something for that saw the collection of letters which are from Susan Pellew to her husband, mainly around the year 1814.
And,as I have been wanting to do for ages, I decided to read just two of three of them and they proved to be as splendid an insight as one could hope.Funny,efficient,warm and ironic they are sll these and more.
So here under the cut SP on why baboons do not make good house mates,the perils of a gloomy son in law and when a woman should know she is over the hill ...
Tigers,grapes and being over the hill; Lady Pellew writes:
We have been speculating about Susan Pellew for a while based on a few things said by her husband and other accounts but at last we are getting to hear her voice and it is outstandingly good to have even a little of her perspective.
Among the family papers which survive are a small number of letters written to Edward Pellew in the year 1814 when he was about to relinquish the Mediterranean command and come home for the first time in three years . It was also the period in which his elevation to the peerage was announced.
Susan’s reaction to this is typical of her whole outlook which combines an amused ironic
eye with pragmatic attitudes to income and comfort and with a firm Christian faith and a deep and warm love for her husband and their ( by this time ) ever expanding family.
She enquires hopefully as to whether her letter was the first to reach him with the news and goes on with to say of the “dignity” as she calls it:
“My Lord” sounds big and forbidding but My lady I have so long been accustomed to, that I have only to regret my change of name. Even so worthy a title leaves me to grieve that of Pellew
This is followed by her musing on whether there will be any pension to accompany the title -otherwise she says pragmatically it will only be to “ entail embarrassments to posterity “
-the next paragraph has to be my favourite ;
I hope, dearest ,that you will dispose of your tiger and your wild beasts by the time of your return for remember that they are too expensive to keep had we room, a keeper and no fear, which I confess I have .Nor do I think that I can live in the same house with monkeys, baboons or any others of the race so for pity’s sake dispose of them. We have may pretty grandchildren to amuse you
There is humour in here but at the same time authority - and a sense that she knew very well the part of her husband which was still an overgrown urchin off after the next shiny and impressive thing. She revelled in being a grandmother -and indeed Pellew shared willingly and enthusiastically in the grandparental life after his retirement. What comes over when the letters are taken as a whole is a sense of a marriage between equals - their sphere of life may be very different and their roles in it but this is a confident, intelligent and capable woman who clearly feels herself respected and loved.
This particular letter is then of course, signed as was Pellew’s own custom too, with her initials
Your affectionate SE- with the newly acquired initial E being tried out and given one of her frequent underlinings when something is important to her.
An earlier letter written from the home of her other daughter a few weeks before at Easter shows the same delightful mixture and also, in a way which is quite moving , the effect of having to come to terms with resuming life together again after another long time apart.
Of their son in law, husband of their second daughter she reports positively that he has been found to be more relaxed and happy when at home and says : “ I am thus particular knowing you as well as I found his disposition gloomy , unsocial and not calculated to enliven domestic life”.
This is a sentence which could come from Miss Austen’s pen - and the Austens were neighbours to Emma Halstead the oldest of the Pellew children so who knows ?
There is evidence of her dealing with housing searches and being fully informed about and indeed interested in the grounds and garden and her welcome home promise is a lovely picture from that.
I think you will be home in time to share the first bunch of grapes that we cut in the greenhouse and the asparagus beds are just beginning to bear so, dear , you will be in time for it all
And there is perhaps a tacit acknowledgment that reunions could be fraught for a time as well as joyful :
I flatter myself that we shall meet at about the same time three years since we parted. Neither of us I conclude much improved in appearance .Even Israel will allow that a man does not improve after threescore and a woman I will boldly affirm is going fast down the hill.
But this leads on as various topics do for Susan to an affirmation of her faith which she clearly thought of Edward as sharing in and indeed from around this period in his life there are many ways in which he was more upfront about belief.
So this letter concludes :
However I bless God for health and cheerfulness and may we have to look forward to a better world with hope and confidence that such impediments will be of no avail...
... God bless you dearest, take care of yourself, endure to the end, praise God for his mercies. Love your poor old wife, and though we have lived little together in this world, let us not be separated in that which is to come, your own affectionate SP
There are more letters though unfortunately they are mainly from this era and so reflect the mature and very mutually adapted couple they were by that time but even just the handful which survive reveal Susan as the kind of partner who could be depended upon to cope with all things at home and that she well and truly had the measure of the man who could cause a squadron to tremble .Former midshipmen remembered her kindness when later in life as captains and admirals themselves they wrote condolence letters to Fleetwood. One wonders if they also remembered more covertly that though they might quake at the sound of the Captain’s voice there was at least one person who brought the old lion himself to order.
more from SP in later days
And,as I have been wanting to do for ages, I decided to read just two of three of them and they proved to be as splendid an insight as one could hope.Funny,efficient,warm and ironic they are sll these and more.
So here under the cut SP on why baboons do not make good house mates,the perils of a gloomy son in law and when a woman should know she is over the hill ...
Tigers,grapes and being over the hill; Lady Pellew writes:
We have been speculating about Susan Pellew for a while based on a few things said by her husband and other accounts but at last we are getting to hear her voice and it is outstandingly good to have even a little of her perspective.
Among the family papers which survive are a small number of letters written to Edward Pellew in the year 1814 when he was about to relinquish the Mediterranean command and come home for the first time in three years . It was also the period in which his elevation to the peerage was announced.
Susan’s reaction to this is typical of her whole outlook which combines an amused ironic
eye with pragmatic attitudes to income and comfort and with a firm Christian faith and a deep and warm love for her husband and their ( by this time ) ever expanding family.
She enquires hopefully as to whether her letter was the first to reach him with the news and goes on with to say of the “dignity” as she calls it:
“My Lord” sounds big and forbidding but My lady I have so long been accustomed to, that I have only to regret my change of name. Even so worthy a title leaves me to grieve that of Pellew
This is followed by her musing on whether there will be any pension to accompany the title -otherwise she says pragmatically it will only be to “ entail embarrassments to posterity “
-the next paragraph has to be my favourite ;
I hope, dearest ,that you will dispose of your tiger and your wild beasts by the time of your return for remember that they are too expensive to keep had we room, a keeper and no fear, which I confess I have .Nor do I think that I can live in the same house with monkeys, baboons or any others of the race so for pity’s sake dispose of them. We have may pretty grandchildren to amuse you
There is humour in here but at the same time authority - and a sense that she knew very well the part of her husband which was still an overgrown urchin off after the next shiny and impressive thing. She revelled in being a grandmother -and indeed Pellew shared willingly and enthusiastically in the grandparental life after his retirement. What comes over when the letters are taken as a whole is a sense of a marriage between equals - their sphere of life may be very different and their roles in it but this is a confident, intelligent and capable woman who clearly feels herself respected and loved.
This particular letter is then of course, signed as was Pellew’s own custom too, with her initials
Your affectionate SE- with the newly acquired initial E being tried out and given one of her frequent underlinings when something is important to her.
An earlier letter written from the home of her other daughter a few weeks before at Easter shows the same delightful mixture and also, in a way which is quite moving , the effect of having to come to terms with resuming life together again after another long time apart.
Of their son in law, husband of their second daughter she reports positively that he has been found to be more relaxed and happy when at home and says : “ I am thus particular knowing you as well as I found his disposition gloomy , unsocial and not calculated to enliven domestic life”.
This is a sentence which could come from Miss Austen’s pen - and the Austens were neighbours to Emma Halstead the oldest of the Pellew children so who knows ?
There is evidence of her dealing with housing searches and being fully informed about and indeed interested in the grounds and garden and her welcome home promise is a lovely picture from that.
I think you will be home in time to share the first bunch of grapes that we cut in the greenhouse and the asparagus beds are just beginning to bear so, dear , you will be in time for it all
And there is perhaps a tacit acknowledgment that reunions could be fraught for a time as well as joyful :
I flatter myself that we shall meet at about the same time three years since we parted. Neither of us I conclude much improved in appearance .Even Israel will allow that a man does not improve after threescore and a woman I will boldly affirm is going fast down the hill.
But this leads on as various topics do for Susan to an affirmation of her faith which she clearly thought of Edward as sharing in and indeed from around this period in his life there are many ways in which he was more upfront about belief.
So this letter concludes :
However I bless God for health and cheerfulness and may we have to look forward to a better world with hope and confidence that such impediments will be of no avail...
... God bless you dearest, take care of yourself, endure to the end, praise God for his mercies. Love your poor old wife, and though we have lived little together in this world, let us not be separated in that which is to come, your own affectionate SP
There are more letters though unfortunately they are mainly from this era and so reflect the mature and very mutually adapted couple they were by that time but even just the handful which survive reveal Susan as the kind of partner who could be depended upon to cope with all things at home and that she well and truly had the measure of the man who could cause a squadron to tremble .Former midshipmen remembered her kindness when later in life as captains and admirals themselves they wrote condolence letters to Fleetwood. One wonders if they also remembered more covertly that though they might quake at the sound of the Captain’s voice there was at least one person who brought the old lion himself to order.
more from SP in later days