Comments | noclue2: some words that I had in my head and are now digitized for human consumption

noclue2

some words that I had in my head and are now digitized for human consumption

Apr 18, 2014 09:11

I've never been horribly critical about my looks like many girls seem to be. I rather like my hair color, though sometimes I think it could be shinier, but whatever. I like my cheekbones a great deal. My face is generally pleasing and that's enough to keep me happy. Like most fat girls I sometimes dream of being skinnier, but most of the time I ( Read more... )

change, grad school, job hunting, body image

Comments 7

redroses1791 April 18 2014, 01:22:52 UTC

hey, at least you exercise?! pokey squishy me does nothing. which is bad. but I'm too unmotivated to actually hate myself enough to get up and do it. lol X( <333

bawwwww just for the record, I've never thought you were cold or anything!! D; I've just always thought you were quiet! ;D which is fine cuz I talk a bunch of BS to fill the awkward pauses enough for the both of us XD;; <--at least I admit it/am aware I talk a shitton haaaa? ;___; maybe that's one of the reasons why ive checked out of facebook for like, the last 3-4 months. no one wants to listen to my crap and no one cares. .__.

1) woooo job! I hope it goes good :D *positive vibes yo* I hope you talk about it :D <33

2) holy crap, New York? where at? but YOU SO FAR AWAY THEN ;( <3 I mean, I know we never see eachother as it is but its like...even more impossible to get together for random funtimez!!! but I'm excited for youuuuuu :3 <333

noclue2 April 18 2014, 02:10:50 UTC

I only bike because it was sunny so I went for a short ride after the snow melted and realized my 75 year old dad wasn't breathing as hard as I was and that just wasn't right. Lol. I've basically spent all winter hibernating and adding squishiness to my backside. <3

And lol. Maybe because your initial contact with me was via Internet and about my favorite subject--music/concerts. Lol. So you bypassed the cold. :)

Long Island University, with most of my classes in Manhattan. A big issue for me is actually how far away it is from friends n' family. I mean NYC would be an amazing experience, but I'm not sure I want to start all over AGAIN so far from "home."
*sigh* decisions are hard.

fablicful April 18 2014, 19:48:21 UTC

I feel the *exact* same way regarding approach-ability and everything you said... People like to tell me I seem to come across as a "bitch" or just completely arrogant or self-absorbed, when I'm absolutely nothing of the sort. :/ I'm just really introverted and shy.. X___X I always say, when people actually know me- they know none of this is the case--- and it just saddens me, because yeah- I don't want to be like everyone else and have a desire to discuss the weather and other inane things. It just. ugh =_= lose lose.. idk lol ( ... )

noclue2 April 23 2014, 00:12:55 UTC

Exactly! people who know me are like, what? someone said that about you?? no way! lol. but it is how it is, I guess.

and very yay! I would love to move to NYC. It would be such a great experience, I think, to just pack up and go. and yet. . . . In fact, a large part of why I applied to this university is simply location. the networking and internship possibilities alone, make it a great choice. BUT funding! I require free money!! lol.

the school, by the way, is Long Island University, but because of my program (library science with a specialization in rare books and special collections) I'd be mostly in downtown Manhattan. which would be SO AMAZING. :D

fablicful April 30 2014, 01:29:13 UTC

Yep. Life is strange. If you're introverted, things are just a bit harder to fit in and be understood. :/ Ah well

But yes!! NYC!! Seriously-- the most culturally-diverse place in the U.S., if not the world!!! :D Seriouslyyyy <3 If you do decide to do this program-- that is awesome and I'm so happy for you!! I know a few people doing library science degrees and seem to really love it. I might even consider it in the future!! ^^ Having the ability to network and just experience city life would be awesome. :3 Of course, living in Japan, I'm sure you've gotten the hang of city life. ;) lol

anywoo~ if anything is to be taken from my comment: YAY! :D

adam_0oo April 18 2014, 20:06:55 UTC

Wooo New York!

I also have resting bitch face. One time when I was taking my drivers photo, I just stood there and the pic looks like it is my prison photo. My gf and a former best lj friend on here also have that "intimidating" look.

I mostly try to combat it by faking it. If I am sitting there at a party, I put on a smile, even though it feels weird and awkward, because I know nobody can tell and they think me just sitting there with my passive face looks weird and awkward.

I have also learned that anybody who I think is amazing at small talk actually thinks small talk is awkward and hard work, they just put in the work. So at parties and things, I am always desperately looking around for some topics that I can use to talk to people, just anything, so I can seem genial.

I am glad that you feel so well about your physical appearance, lots and lots of people do not.

noclue2 April 23 2014, 00:07:56 UTC

I can fake it for a short while, interviews, a party. whatever. but it's tiring, you know? It makes me feel resentful towards those people that I feel I have to fake it towards. and that's not a good feeling to be carrying around, I think.

and, yes, lots of people don't feel good about their physical appearance. and that's really sad, because I've honestly never met anyone I actually think deserves to be called, even by themselves, ugly. Of course, like everyone, I have days I look in the mirror and just want to crawl back in bed and cry. But I've kind of come to the conclusion that everyone looks like they're supposed to look and if you looked different, you wouldn't be you, so get used to it, I guess?