Yes, it's selfish. But it's a ridiculous and perverted notion that selfishness = bad and selflessness = good. Like most things in life -- and like all things of an emotional nature -- the actuality is not black and white.
You can't force yourself to feel a certain way about somebody. And if you sacrifice your happiness and sanity by pretending to feel a way somebody would like you to feel... you aren't being noble. Yes, lying in such a way is selfless (you are forsaking your own desires/emotions/sanity for somebody else), but it's cowardly. When you pretend like that, it isn't done on the motivation to make somebody happy, but on the fear of hurting that person.
So what you did was selfish, because you were valuing your sanity at the risk of hurting another person. But I think, out of all the choices, it was the right one. And, if it wasn't the right one, it was certainly the honest decision. And I'm proud that you did the hardest -- but certainly the most honest -- thing :).
but right now im thinking the answer is no. it is not selfish. If you had to do it for your sanity then that person prob deserved it. Overall it was something that is considered to be wrong to do...and it is prob a very bad thing to do. But in the long run...since you said you care about this person....it prob needed to be done and sometimes you need to 'hurt' the ones you care about in order for everything to turn out alright.
It was honorable, plain and simple. You're too young to be sacrificing your happiness for somebody that would probably be temporary anyway. Breaking it off early was simply the best thing to do, even if it hurts or it's awkward, it's better than your other options.
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You can't force yourself to feel a certain way about somebody. And if you sacrifice your happiness and sanity by pretending to feel a way somebody would like you to feel... you aren't being noble. Yes, lying in such a way is selfless (you are forsaking your own desires/emotions/sanity for somebody else), but it's cowardly. When you pretend like that, it isn't done on the motivation to make somebody happy, but on the fear of hurting that person.
So what you did was selfish, because you were valuing your sanity at the risk of hurting another person. But I think, out of all the choices, it was the right one. And, if it wasn't the right one, it was certainly the honest decision. And I'm proud that you did the hardest -- but certainly the most honest -- thing :).
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but right now im thinking the answer is no. it is not selfish. If you had to do it for your sanity then that person prob deserved it. Overall it was something that is considered to be wrong to do...and it is prob a very bad thing to do. But in the long run...since you said you care about this person....it prob needed to be done and sometimes you need to 'hurt' the ones you care about in order for everything to turn out alright.
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