You
Title: You
Written By: passionate_hope
Category: General
Rating: G
Author's Notes: Luke wants to let Reid know what he's getting himself into.
"Hey, I wasn't expecting to see you today," Reid said as Luke entered his office. He frowned when he noticed the pensive look on his boyfriend's face. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Luke said putting his hands in his pockets as he attempted to smile. "I just…needed to talk, but it looks like you're busy so…I don't want to bother you."
"I'm not cracking up any brains at the moment," Reid pointed out, "And Mr. Moriarty's chart can wait. What's the dilemma today? Is it hot mom, or good dad, or has bad dad tried contacting you again? No wait…let me guess this has to do with the ex?"
"Kind of," Luke admitted as he took a seat on the couch, "But not directly. I haven't talked to him or anything."
"Okay then," Reid said coming around his desk to settle down beside him. "All joking aside, I know you need to talk to me. Pager and phone are off and you have my full attention. What's on your mind?"
Luke's heart swelled with warmth at just that statement. It meant a lot to him, more than Reid would ever know that he was taking him seriously.
"Just the fact that you want to listen to me says so much," he said the hint of a smile crossing his lips. It didn't quite meet his eyes and Reid noticed…he always noticed. "You've been so open and honest with me, Reid. I feel like I owe you the same courtesy."
"I don't understand, Luke." Reid reached out his hand to take the younger man's, enclosing it in warmth. "You've always been straight forward and brutally honest to a fault. I don't think you could tell me anything that would surprise me."
"I cheated on a school election and got expelled," Luke blurted out before he could stop himself. Reid didn't even blink at the admission. Somehow that fact scared Luke more.
Reid relaxed and placed an arm on the couch directly behind Luke. "Why?"
Luke sighed. It was a simple enough question. Unfortunately at the moment Reid's tone did nothing to calm his fears. "I didn't want the other candidate to win," he explained. "They were running a dirty campaign and I needed to win so that the gay film festival would happen."
"And," Reid prodded gently.
"I Felt like I was back in high school," Luke admitted sadly. "My former best friend made me feel ten inches tall, and I just…I had to beat him. It just didn't seem fair that someone who didn't care about the issues was going to win."
"How did you get caught?"
Once again Luke was caught off guard. The next question he had expected, the one that usually came up, was not what Reid had asked.
"You aren't going to ask me why? Or tell me how stupid I am?"
"You already told me why you did it," Reid pointed out. "And I can tell you already feel bad about it. Besides, I'm your boyfriend, not your father. It's not my job to berate you. Now, how did you get caught?"
"Noah turned me in."
"Wait," Reid said his hand tapping the couch as he spoke. "Let me see if I got this straight. You ran for office presumably to help Noah," he waited for Luke's affirming nod. "And when you secured a victory, no matter how ill-advised, Noah narced on you?"
"He balked at the idea of lying for me, and he was insulted that I would ask him to do it."
"So basically you're telling me it's Mr. Mayer's fault you were expelled?" His question was met with silence and he moved his hand to massage Luke's cheek.
"I always own up to my mistakes," Luke said surrendering to Reid's touch. "I know that in the end my choices are what led to my expulsion, but it would have been nice if Noah had at least tried to be there for me, even if he didn't agree."
"That's what a partner is supposed to do," Reid remarked. "Any other skeletons you need to unleash?"
"Well you know I don't drink, but you don't know why. I used to drink when I was younger, and I was reckless with it."
"Why did you feel the need to drink?"
"Thank you," Luke flashed a sad smile, "For not assuming I was just being a stupid kid."
"If I have learned anything about you, Luke, it's that everything you do has a reason…a purpose. Even if it's not always in your best interest, you have a purpose in mind."
"I needed to feel numb," Luke explained. "There was so much going on that I couldn't control and I didn't understand. My parents were doing their break up, hook up dance again and it was just too much."
"So you used alcohol as an escape?"
"Yes. It was rebellion too," He added after a moment. "My parents, both of them made me so angry. Then I got sick and needed a kidney transplant."
"And after that?"
"After that I found out that my mom's boyfriend was blackmailing her, holding my kidney over her head. And I was struggling with my feelings for Kevin…a lot was going on and I just couldn't deal. It got worse after I came out. Mom didn't take that well, and Damian was back…and things with Kevin just imploded."
"Sounds like you were going through a lot. But you obviously overcame that."
"I slipped…twenty -one months ago."
"After the election?"
"Yeah…it just felt like everyone was against me. I had failed, everyone was disappointed and I…I couldn't cope." Luke cringed, hating the fact that he sounded so weak.
"And Noah?"
"Noah…he broke up with me," Luke sighed and looked up at Reid. "And when I told him I needed him…that I couldn't get through this on my own, he rejected me."
He sounded so sad, his voice barely audible. Reid's heart went out to him, and he was about ready to throttle Noah. That feeling only increased as Luke explained about Brian Wheatley, and the advances made. He felt like he was getting a clearer picture of who Luke was, and at the same time reaffirming his opinion of Noah.
"You've been sober for almost two years, Luke," He pointed out when his boyfriend fell quiet. "I'd say that's very admirable. Especially considering all you've been dealing with."
"There have been moments…" Luke admitted. "After Noah kept pushing me away, and the stuff with Damian and my dad…" he shook his head.
"Luke, look at me," Reid commanded as he shifted so he could take Luke's hand into his and stare into those chocolate eyes. "You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You have to be to put up with me." That elicited a small laugh from Luke, and Reid smiled as he continued. "I think you know deep down that alcohol is not the solution, and you have found other ways to deal with the hand you are dealt. And the fact that you didn't succumb to temptation is commendable."
"Would you…abandon me if I did slip?"
The mere fact that he needed to ask that question cut Reid to the quick. He wasn't offended, he knew Luke was referring to his past slips and once again Reid found himself wanting to shake some sense into Noah. "If you slip," he said squeezing Luke's hand reassuringly, "I'm going to catch you, and help you through the best I can. I'm not going to leave you, Luke. Especially not when you need me."
"And, you don't think I'm clingy?"
Reid shook his head as he remembered a conversation he had had with Noah after one of their appointments. Noah had been talking about how clingy Luke could be, and how much he felt suffocated by him. He hadn't understood Noah's logic then, and now, seeing the insecurity in his boyfriend's eyes he still didn't understand.
"What some call clingy, is really just devotion," he countered. "I watched you dote on Noah, and I've heard him complain about you always being around, and I don't understand. I truly don't get why he was so upset with you. It was obvious that you were willing to do anything and everything for him. No one has ever wanted to do that for me."
"I do."
"I know you do," Reid said softly. "One of the many things I admire about you is your dedication to those you love. Believe me; I won't be stupid enough to let you go. Nor do I want to." This last part was whispered as Reid leaned in to kiss Luke softly on the lips.
Luke responded in kind, his hands moving to press against Reid's chest. "Does it," Luke started before Reid stopped him for another kiss, "Bother you…mmm," he gave up on talking for a moment, reveling in the attention he was receiving from his beau.
"What were you going to ask me?" Reid asked moments later when breathing became important.
"Well," Luke replied shyly. "I was going to ask if it bothered you that I poke my nose where it doesn't belong?"
"You mean when you help even though your assistance isn't requested?"
"Yeah…that," Luke said with a heavy sigh.
"The fact that you do shows that you care," Reid replied. "I won't promise to always agree with you, but I didn't just meet you yesterday, Luke. I know how passionate you are in your beliefs and I feel very lucky to be among the people you care so deeply about. And for what it's worth, you let me be me. I mean, I know you ask me to be nicer sometimes, but I can tell my personality doesn't turn you off."
"Because I see past it," Luke explained. "You're a good man, Reid."
"So are you, Luke. And there isn't anything I would change. I even find your dramatics endearing." Reid smiled. "So do I now know all there is to know about Luke Snyder?"
"I think so. I just wanted to tell you why Noah has such a problem with me. I mean-"
"Your break up was not your fault, Luke. From what you've told me, and what I have observed, I would say that you put up with a whole bunch of shit, and you are to be commended. I don't know many people who could put up with Noah Mayer for so long."
"The same could be said about you too, you know." Luke pointed out with a smirk.
"Touché," Reid winked before turning serious. "Thank you for being straight forward and honest with me. Your honesty is one of your better qualities, and you can at least admit when you are wrong. Plus you don't blame others for your own shortcomings. The truth is that I admire you, Luke. A lot."
"Me?" Luke was totally taken by surprise with this admission. "Why?"
"Because it takes a lot of guts to stick to your convictions, and at the same time have enough room in your heart to care about so many."
"Well I've learned that from you, Reid."
"No," Reid said reaching out to run his fingers through Luke's hair. "Maybe I helped a little, but this was all you, Luke. I accept you for who you are, just like you accept me. Call me crazy, but I think that's how relationships are supposed to work."
"I can't promise I won't screw up."
"Everyone makes mistakes, Luke. Even me."
Luke smiled, and kissed Reid softly on the lips. "I don't think anyone would believe me if I told them you admitted that," he laughed.
"If you repeat it I will deny it," Reid smirked. "Seriously though, I don't want you to be anyone but who you are. No one has the right to expect any more or any less from you then that."
A knock on the door reminded Luke that they were in Reid's office at the hospital. He watched as his boyfriend stood and conversed with whomever was at the door. Moments later, Reid returned to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder. "There is an emergency I need to attend to, so we will have to cut this short. Are you okay? I won't go if you need me to stay."
Just the fact that Reid was willing to put him first in that moment was enough for Luke. It was the one thing he had wanted from a relationship, to be important enough…to be the first thought…to be wanted.
"I'll be right back," Reid's voice caught his attention.
"Wait, where are you going?" he asked realizing he had missed something in the conversation.
"To tell Bob he needs to find another doctor," Reid said tilting his head to the side as he looked at Luke. "I'm not going to leave you if you need me, Luke. Are you okay?"
Luke shook his head and stood cupping Reid's cheeks in his hands. "Don't do that," he breathed as he brought their lips together for a kiss. "Your patients deserve the best care you can give them…and I won't be the one to take you away from them. I'll wait for you…and I'm okay. Just knowing you care is enough."
Reid pulled away and caressed his cheek before turning to leave. At the door he turned to look at Luke, their gazes locking for the briefest of moments. "I love you, Luke Snyder…All of you."
And then he was gone, leaving Luke alone in the office to wonder when he had gotten so lucky.
Written By: passionate_hope
Category: General
Rating: G
Author's Notes: Luke wants to let Reid know what he's getting himself into.
"Hey, I wasn't expecting to see you today," Reid said as Luke entered his office. He frowned when he noticed the pensive look on his boyfriend's face. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Luke said putting his hands in his pockets as he attempted to smile. "I just…needed to talk, but it looks like you're busy so…I don't want to bother you."
"I'm not cracking up any brains at the moment," Reid pointed out, "And Mr. Moriarty's chart can wait. What's the dilemma today? Is it hot mom, or good dad, or has bad dad tried contacting you again? No wait…let me guess this has to do with the ex?"
"Kind of," Luke admitted as he took a seat on the couch, "But not directly. I haven't talked to him or anything."
"Okay then," Reid said coming around his desk to settle down beside him. "All joking aside, I know you need to talk to me. Pager and phone are off and you have my full attention. What's on your mind?"
Luke's heart swelled with warmth at just that statement. It meant a lot to him, more than Reid would ever know that he was taking him seriously.
"Just the fact that you want to listen to me says so much," he said the hint of a smile crossing his lips. It didn't quite meet his eyes and Reid noticed…he always noticed. "You've been so open and honest with me, Reid. I feel like I owe you the same courtesy."
"I don't understand, Luke." Reid reached out his hand to take the younger man's, enclosing it in warmth. "You've always been straight forward and brutally honest to a fault. I don't think you could tell me anything that would surprise me."
"I cheated on a school election and got expelled," Luke blurted out before he could stop himself. Reid didn't even blink at the admission. Somehow that fact scared Luke more.
Reid relaxed and placed an arm on the couch directly behind Luke. "Why?"
Luke sighed. It was a simple enough question. Unfortunately at the moment Reid's tone did nothing to calm his fears. "I didn't want the other candidate to win," he explained. "They were running a dirty campaign and I needed to win so that the gay film festival would happen."
"And," Reid prodded gently.
"I Felt like I was back in high school," Luke admitted sadly. "My former best friend made me feel ten inches tall, and I just…I had to beat him. It just didn't seem fair that someone who didn't care about the issues was going to win."
"How did you get caught?"
Once again Luke was caught off guard. The next question he had expected, the one that usually came up, was not what Reid had asked.
"You aren't going to ask me why? Or tell me how stupid I am?"
"You already told me why you did it," Reid pointed out. "And I can tell you already feel bad about it. Besides, I'm your boyfriend, not your father. It's not my job to berate you. Now, how did you get caught?"
"Noah turned me in."
"Wait," Reid said his hand tapping the couch as he spoke. "Let me see if I got this straight. You ran for office presumably to help Noah," he waited for Luke's affirming nod. "And when you secured a victory, no matter how ill-advised, Noah narced on you?"
"He balked at the idea of lying for me, and he was insulted that I would ask him to do it."
"So basically you're telling me it's Mr. Mayer's fault you were expelled?" His question was met with silence and he moved his hand to massage Luke's cheek.
"I always own up to my mistakes," Luke said surrendering to Reid's touch. "I know that in the end my choices are what led to my expulsion, but it would have been nice if Noah had at least tried to be there for me, even if he didn't agree."
"That's what a partner is supposed to do," Reid remarked. "Any other skeletons you need to unleash?"
"Well you know I don't drink, but you don't know why. I used to drink when I was younger, and I was reckless with it."
"Why did you feel the need to drink?"
"Thank you," Luke flashed a sad smile, "For not assuming I was just being a stupid kid."
"If I have learned anything about you, Luke, it's that everything you do has a reason…a purpose. Even if it's not always in your best interest, you have a purpose in mind."
"I needed to feel numb," Luke explained. "There was so much going on that I couldn't control and I didn't understand. My parents were doing their break up, hook up dance again and it was just too much."
"So you used alcohol as an escape?"
"Yes. It was rebellion too," He added after a moment. "My parents, both of them made me so angry. Then I got sick and needed a kidney transplant."
"And after that?"
"After that I found out that my mom's boyfriend was blackmailing her, holding my kidney over her head. And I was struggling with my feelings for Kevin…a lot was going on and I just couldn't deal. It got worse after I came out. Mom didn't take that well, and Damian was back…and things with Kevin just imploded."
"Sounds like you were going through a lot. But you obviously overcame that."
"I slipped…twenty -one months ago."
"After the election?"
"Yeah…it just felt like everyone was against me. I had failed, everyone was disappointed and I…I couldn't cope." Luke cringed, hating the fact that he sounded so weak.
"And Noah?"
"Noah…he broke up with me," Luke sighed and looked up at Reid. "And when I told him I needed him…that I couldn't get through this on my own, he rejected me."
He sounded so sad, his voice barely audible. Reid's heart went out to him, and he was about ready to throttle Noah. That feeling only increased as Luke explained about Brian Wheatley, and the advances made. He felt like he was getting a clearer picture of who Luke was, and at the same time reaffirming his opinion of Noah.
"You've been sober for almost two years, Luke," He pointed out when his boyfriend fell quiet. "I'd say that's very admirable. Especially considering all you've been dealing with."
"There have been moments…" Luke admitted. "After Noah kept pushing me away, and the stuff with Damian and my dad…" he shook his head.
"Luke, look at me," Reid commanded as he shifted so he could take Luke's hand into his and stare into those chocolate eyes. "You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You have to be to put up with me." That elicited a small laugh from Luke, and Reid smiled as he continued. "I think you know deep down that alcohol is not the solution, and you have found other ways to deal with the hand you are dealt. And the fact that you didn't succumb to temptation is commendable."
"Would you…abandon me if I did slip?"
The mere fact that he needed to ask that question cut Reid to the quick. He wasn't offended, he knew Luke was referring to his past slips and once again Reid found himself wanting to shake some sense into Noah. "If you slip," he said squeezing Luke's hand reassuringly, "I'm going to catch you, and help you through the best I can. I'm not going to leave you, Luke. Especially not when you need me."
"And, you don't think I'm clingy?"
Reid shook his head as he remembered a conversation he had had with Noah after one of their appointments. Noah had been talking about how clingy Luke could be, and how much he felt suffocated by him. He hadn't understood Noah's logic then, and now, seeing the insecurity in his boyfriend's eyes he still didn't understand.
"What some call clingy, is really just devotion," he countered. "I watched you dote on Noah, and I've heard him complain about you always being around, and I don't understand. I truly don't get why he was so upset with you. It was obvious that you were willing to do anything and everything for him. No one has ever wanted to do that for me."
"I do."
"I know you do," Reid said softly. "One of the many things I admire about you is your dedication to those you love. Believe me; I won't be stupid enough to let you go. Nor do I want to." This last part was whispered as Reid leaned in to kiss Luke softly on the lips.
Luke responded in kind, his hands moving to press against Reid's chest. "Does it," Luke started before Reid stopped him for another kiss, "Bother you…mmm," he gave up on talking for a moment, reveling in the attention he was receiving from his beau.
"What were you going to ask me?" Reid asked moments later when breathing became important.
"Well," Luke replied shyly. "I was going to ask if it bothered you that I poke my nose where it doesn't belong?"
"You mean when you help even though your assistance isn't requested?"
"Yeah…that," Luke said with a heavy sigh.
"The fact that you do shows that you care," Reid replied. "I won't promise to always agree with you, but I didn't just meet you yesterday, Luke. I know how passionate you are in your beliefs and I feel very lucky to be among the people you care so deeply about. And for what it's worth, you let me be me. I mean, I know you ask me to be nicer sometimes, but I can tell my personality doesn't turn you off."
"Because I see past it," Luke explained. "You're a good man, Reid."
"So are you, Luke. And there isn't anything I would change. I even find your dramatics endearing." Reid smiled. "So do I now know all there is to know about Luke Snyder?"
"I think so. I just wanted to tell you why Noah has such a problem with me. I mean-"
"Your break up was not your fault, Luke. From what you've told me, and what I have observed, I would say that you put up with a whole bunch of shit, and you are to be commended. I don't know many people who could put up with Noah Mayer for so long."
"The same could be said about you too, you know." Luke pointed out with a smirk.
"Touché," Reid winked before turning serious. "Thank you for being straight forward and honest with me. Your honesty is one of your better qualities, and you can at least admit when you are wrong. Plus you don't blame others for your own shortcomings. The truth is that I admire you, Luke. A lot."
"Me?" Luke was totally taken by surprise with this admission. "Why?"
"Because it takes a lot of guts to stick to your convictions, and at the same time have enough room in your heart to care about so many."
"Well I've learned that from you, Reid."
"No," Reid said reaching out to run his fingers through Luke's hair. "Maybe I helped a little, but this was all you, Luke. I accept you for who you are, just like you accept me. Call me crazy, but I think that's how relationships are supposed to work."
"I can't promise I won't screw up."
"Everyone makes mistakes, Luke. Even me."
Luke smiled, and kissed Reid softly on the lips. "I don't think anyone would believe me if I told them you admitted that," he laughed.
"If you repeat it I will deny it," Reid smirked. "Seriously though, I don't want you to be anyone but who you are. No one has the right to expect any more or any less from you then that."
A knock on the door reminded Luke that they were in Reid's office at the hospital. He watched as his boyfriend stood and conversed with whomever was at the door. Moments later, Reid returned to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder. "There is an emergency I need to attend to, so we will have to cut this short. Are you okay? I won't go if you need me to stay."
Just the fact that Reid was willing to put him first in that moment was enough for Luke. It was the one thing he had wanted from a relationship, to be important enough…to be the first thought…to be wanted.
"I'll be right back," Reid's voice caught his attention.
"Wait, where are you going?" he asked realizing he had missed something in the conversation.
"To tell Bob he needs to find another doctor," Reid said tilting his head to the side as he looked at Luke. "I'm not going to leave you if you need me, Luke. Are you okay?"
Luke shook his head and stood cupping Reid's cheeks in his hands. "Don't do that," he breathed as he brought their lips together for a kiss. "Your patients deserve the best care you can give them…and I won't be the one to take you away from them. I'll wait for you…and I'm okay. Just knowing you care is enough."
Reid pulled away and caressed his cheek before turning to leave. At the door he turned to look at Luke, their gazes locking for the briefest of moments. "I love you, Luke Snyder…All of you."
And then he was gone, leaving Luke alone in the office to wonder when he had gotten so lucky.