Love is a Funny Thing 6/6
Jensen’s mostly awake. He can feel the sun warming his skin and the gentle shift of Jared on the other side of the mattress. He hears the wet smack of lips and imagines Jared opening and closing his mouth and rolling his eyes open.
It’s strange, Jensen thinks, that for all the hours, days, months, years they’ve spent together, it took this long for him to know how Jared wakes in the morning.
He feels a short tap at his shoulder then knuckles rubbing the skin a few times before Jared’s hand is completely gone. This isn’t entirely new - Jared’s little touches like he’s testing that Jensen’s awake or assuring each other there’s more than just casual touches these days.
Jensen rolls over and smoothly slides atop Jared with a sleepy smile. He takes Jared’s mouth without care that it’s too fucking early in the morning for either of them to have decent breath. Jared seems to be on board because he opens his lips wide and snakes his tongue around Jensen’s instantly.
He’s sure that along with losing their clothes, they’re also losing time on the morning before their ride will be there to collect them. They could end it all with a quick dual hand job, messy head, even just rubbing against each other’s sweat-sticky bodies, but what’s the fun in that these days?
Instead, Jensen opens Jared up, gets inside, and slowly fucks him while they’re buried in Jared’s pale and navy blue blankets and sheets. Jared doesn’t seem to care for time either as he softly strokes over Jensen’s shoulders and his back, kisses him even slower.
Just thinking of the fact that something like this had been a far off hope for six goddamned years but is now a reality makes Jensen tremble and come. He knows he’s making unreal humming noises when it happens, burying his face into Jared’s neck, as he fucks through the last tremors and rests heavily on him.
Jared unffs and tickles Jensen’s side, making them both chuckle. Jensen shifts up and they jack Jared off together. When Jared’s body tightens up with his orgasm, he clenches around Jensen still inside, and Jensen feels his heart kick up.
After more kissing that Jensen justifies as them constantly making up for the nearly two thousand days they’d wasted, Jensen finally gets out of bed, slips on his boxer briefs, and goes to the bathroom. When he sees himself in the mirror, fussy haired and pale as shit, he rubs a hand over his face and smiles. Then he groans when he looks closer.
“Fuck, you gotta shave more often.”
Jared stumbles into the bathroom and stands behind him with a dopey smile. “What? You don’t like my rugged face?”
Jensen rubs fingers over the beard burn all around his mouth and winces when he thinks about showing up on set. “Seriously, Shannon’s gonna kill me.”
Jared kisses Jensen’s shoulder, rubs his stubble across the skin, and hums.
“Stop that,” Jensen says, shrugging Jared away. They both have shirtless scenes this week and Jensen’s is this morning with Cindy. The last thing he needs is her opening her loud - though hilarious - mouth to talk about how his body looks like a beast attacked him. That will likely only lead to jokes about Jared, and for all that they can deflect and deny, they don’t need to give anyone any openings. “I was pretty damn nice to you yesterday morning, you know.”
“Am I supposed to shave every four hours?”
“That’d be nice.”
“I’ll think about it,” Jared mumbles. He opens the shower door and starts the water, smirking over his shoulder. “Just for you, sweetheart.”
Jensen leans on the bathroom counter and watches Jared shower through the clear glass just starting to fog up. “And I’ll think about sleeping in my own bed again.”
Jared laughs (Jensen does a bit, too) and flings shampoo bubbles against the glass door. “No you wouldn’t.”
“I would,” he insists.
“And then I’d have clean sheets.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” Jensen laughs harder than before.
“Okay, maybe I wouldn’t. What’re you doing anyway? Get in here.”
Jensen smirks. “Just admiring the view.”
The house is not as he remembered it. The cream brick appears more of a dusty yellow, the trim is some sort of bland gray, and the bushes are a bit wildly overgrown as they cover most of the front windows.
It’s only been a few months since he last saw it. But maybe it all seems different because it was dark and he was drunk, and Jared was stumbling along with him up the walk. An hour after that, Jared had asked him to move back in and given that Jared had just sucked him nearly dry, he didn’t have any complaints towards the idea.
“Hey,” Jared says nonchalantly, leaning in the open doorway to his home.
Jensen thinks it’s bullshit that Jared can be so cool and relaxed about the entire ordeal. Jensen’s not the one who had to survive a sexual identity crisis in the last twelve months, and yet he’s the one who’s starting to feel tense as he looks at Jared smiling at him. He adjusts the strap on his duffle, tugging it higher on his shoulder, and lamely waves as he does it. “Hey, yourself.”
Jared strides down the sidewalk with the same easy smile. “You need help with stuff in the truck?”
The second bag in Jensen’s hand is starting to feel heavy, but he just tucks the straps deeper into his palm and shakes his head. “Nah, I’m good. Can get it later.”
It’s extremely slow, but Jared’s face starts to drop. His eyes narrow and smile dims, and Jensen feels himself doing the same now. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on,” Jensen insists immediately.
“Why do you look scared?”
“Why do you?”
“I’m not scared.”
“Well, you look it.” Jensen knows it’s illogical to argue about this, but he’s feeling defensive, and nervous, and okay, maybe a little scared.
“You do, too,” Jared says with an awkward laugh then sobers. “Seriously, what’s going on? You don’t want to move in? Don’t want to do this now? Did things really change in the two weeks since I saw you in Texas?”
Truth be told, Jensen’s waiting for the floor to drop out. For Kurt-cum-Zachariah to pop up and laugh and insist that Jensen’s been hanging out in the glorified angel green room for the last few months and - ha, ha - there ain’t no way that Jared is actually bi or gay or whatever-for-Jensen.
He knows it’s stupid to get so hung up on the fear of it. He’s a reasonable adult. He knows the ups and downs of relationships and sometimes what you want most in the world you just can’t have no matter how hard you hang onto it.
“Jensen,” Jared says quietly and Jensen takes his eyes from the house to stare at Jared.
The earnest look in those lil' pup eyes get to Jensen, making his stomach flip and heart beat faster, something more solid in his chest. “Let’s get inside. I don’t want to make a production out here.”
“But you wanna make a production in there?”
Jensen sighs then smiles crookedly. “I want to drop off my bags, man.”
“Alright, of course.” Jared grabs the bag in Jensen’s hand and leads him up the walk. His gait is awkward and shoulders tense, and Jensen feels sorry for it instantly.
Once inside, they both seem to stall near the bedroom off the main hall where Jensen used to sleep, once upon a time. Jared flashes a quick smile and Jensen tries to return it but then just dumps his bag where it is.
The noise of it echoes in the hall and makes Jared jump, again making Jensen feel bad.
“Okay,” Jensen says then breathes deep to calm himself. “This feels a little weird, a lot like déjà vu, and I’m trying, okay?”
“Trying to what?”
He laughs nervously. “To not freak out.”
“I think I freaked out enough for us in the last two years.”
Jensen nods, because it surely had to be a major case of self-exploration and doubt and worry and all things that Jensen had experienced a long time ago when it finally hit him that he wasn’t the white-picket-fence, trophy-wife, and two-point-four-kids husband everyone expected him to be.
To deflect, Jensen goes to the living room and looks around. “Somehow it seems like you’ve changed everything in this place.”
“Not really. Just a few things on the wall, the DVDs are in the other corner.”
Motioning towards the picture window shielded by the overgrown bushes, Jensen smirks. “And you’ve obviously let your gardener slack.”
“No, that was kind of a conscious decision.”
Jensen can’t stop himself from staring at the dimple on Jared’s left cheek, a result of Jared biting his lower lip. Then he’s staring at Jared’s mouth as it comes closer and Jared smiles and kisses him self-assuredly. Jensen can feel his nerves jump and he’s not sure when they’ll settle down enough to realize that this is what they are now. Soon enough, Jared’s tongue is in his mouth and Jensen’s cupping Jared’s face to keep him close and deepen the kiss.
When they slow down, Jared mumbles between more kisses. “Didn’t want to be too obvious. You know, the neighbors.”
Jensen turns his head to stare at the curtain of foliage blocking the street from view and he realizes that they are actually blocked from anyone else’s view. He smiles and pulls Jared right back in.
Directing the first episode they tape is exhilarating and absolutely exhausting. Jensen thrills at all of the intimate details he is now in charge of, able to weigh in on, and even veto. That power withers as the nights go on long and he’s feeling boneless and drunk and loopy. But in a bad way, because when Jared is still lingering on the edge of the set, he’s not even that happy to see him.
He suddenly feels anxious like he’s being analyzed; as if Jared will compare Jensen’s work to every other director they’ve worked with in the past.
It takes a few moments to realize he’s staring at Jared talking to the crew lingering around, waiting to film the scene again. Serge nudges Jensen and he flinches and when he looks at Jared again, Jared’s looking at him with a small, tight smile. Jensen nods briefly and gets back to work.
It’s still difficult to concentrate. He’s been on set since dawn and the sun has likely already gone down. Jared didn’t have anything to film today but he’s been hanging around, popping up here and there, chatting up their friends in between takes. It makes Jensen slightly jealous - that Jared’s just having fun, is taking advantage of the day off to screw around. Jensen’s been working hard all day long and he’s not up for having Jared at the back of his mind right now because it’s distracting him from his work.
An hour later, he approaches Jared and sighs while trying to force a smile. “Why’re you still hanging around?” Jensen asks.
Jared shrugs. “Just seeing how it goes.”
Jensen gives him a look. “You know how it goes.”
“It’s different now.”
Jensen’s not sure if he means because he’s the one giving orders or if it’s because of what they are now. Either way, he’s feeling itchy. Something nags when he thinks about the latter, because no one on set knows what’s going on, only that Jensen moved back in with Jared. There had been plenty of jokes that this is what Jensen does when Jared has a break-up, saves Jared from debilitating loneliness. Sometimes he hates how close everyone is to toss out those sorts of barbs.
“Just head on home,” Jensen insists. “Take advantage of being on your own.”
“I don’t wanna be on my own,” Jared replies oddly.
“Play with the dogs, play your shitty music on high, and make a mess of everything. I won’t be there to care.”
He’s trying to joke, but he knows it came out tense and that Jared isn’t amused.
Jared glances up and around them, nods curtly, and twists his mouth into an awkward smile. “Yeah, alright. I’ll go play with the kids, because they’d be good company.”
Jensen sighs at Jared’s quick exit. Miraculously, Jensen spends the rest of the evening feeling like every eye is on him, ready for judgment. Surprisingly, he prefers that to the tension brewing in his stomach over that conversation with Jared.
Jensen stumbles into the bedroom well past midnight and attempts doing so as quietly as possible to not wake Jared. He strips down quickly, only barely caring where all the clothes go on his way to bed. He slips under the covers, pulls them over his shoulder, and ducks his head down to sleep.
He’s starting to drift off when the bed shifts and Jared turns over towards him. “Why do you wanna direct?” Jared asks.
Without opening his eyes, Jensen mumbles, “This is what we’re gonna talk about now?”
“I’m just wondering why you want to? Has it been all that you thought it would be?”
Jensen shifts his head higher on his pillow and blows out a long breath. “It’s ten times as draining as a 16-hour acting sheet.”
“Then why?”
He’s likely projecting, but it’s suddenly feeling tense in the bedroom. Jensen opens his eyes to meet Jared’s in the pale moonlight filtering in through the windows. “Am I that bad at it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then why are you asking?”
“Because I’m wondering if it’s worth it for you. To be all fussed up and closing yourself off.”
“I’m not,” Jensen starts then sighs. He decides instead to focus on Jared. “Why were you hanging around today?”
“I wanted to.”
“Just wanted to?”
Jared shrugs a little and lifts his eyebrows. “Wanted to see how the day went, how you did.”
“And how’d I do?”
“Aside from the crankiness, pretty damned well.”
Jensen chuckles and shuts his eyes, takes a long breath in. “I felt like you were watching me on purpose.”
Jared slides closer, ringing an arm over Jensen’s waist and pressing his cheek to Jensen’s forehead. “I was. You’re kinda hot, and authority looks good on you. Competence, too.”
Jensen immediately slides his leg between Jared’s and slips right against Jared’s body. “So you weren’t taking notes on how I suck compared to Phil.”
Jared kisses Jensen’s forehead, slowly moves down to rub his nose along Jensen’s, before murmuring at his mouth. “Nah, I was admiring you in those jeans.”
“Hope you weren’t comparing that to Phil, too.”
They each smile as they kiss softly. Jensen’s too tired to let it go further and he’s got another early call in the morning. He groans as Jared slips his hand under Jensen’s shirt, and drops his head down under Jared’s chin. “I have to be up in like two hours again.”
“Yeah, see, I don’t think I like you directoring.”
Jensen chuckles at Jared’s complaint and settles into the mattress and Jared’s arms.
“But you are good at it,” Jared mumbles into Jensen’s hair.
“I know I was a shit to you.”
“You’re just tired,” Jared excuses away. “Now I know for next time to keep you properly fucked over throughout the day.”
Jensen hums as he imagines running off between resets to let Jared cool his anxiety. “So long as you’re not obvious about it.”
“So long as you’re not,” Jared counters. “You with a blissed-out face, freshly fucked hair, you’ll be the most obvious belle of the ball.”
With a soft laugh, Jensen turns to his back and tugs Jared with him, forcing him to blanket him. “Alright, I direct you to finish in five minutes and to never say belle of the ball again.”
Jared immediately rocks his hips down into Jensen’s, dragging moans from them both. He whispers, “Direction taken,” and kisses Jensen hard.
They go on through the season and battle issues on set - Jensen’s pretty vocal about his dislike for the arc, how difficult it is to face this Sam, or even how he could tear his hair out with worry over directing. There are fits and starts to Jensen living back with Jared and sharing every spare inch of his life. And there are the worries that come and go with wondering how it’ll all work between them, what with being together but not letting anyone in on the secret.
Jared laughs at him and says most everyone knows but won’t speak a word. Tells him to start chewing Valium like vitamins, and to just let himself enjoy this new life they’re building.
It doesn’t always help. Sometimes Jensen wants to fight it all harder just because he’s used to being on the other side of Jared’s life. But Jared does a decent job of convincing him from time to time.
The only one who says a word about it is Kripke. Which Jensen supposes is deserved, even if it seems like Kripke is actually the only person on set to not realize what’s really going on. Eric’s mad, but not quite a genius.
“You aren’t any less obvious about it,” Eric says on a quick visit halfway through the season.
“Am I any more?” Jensen asks even as he’s aware he’s watching Jared chat with Mike Rohl about their next scene. How to work through Sam’s angst of not wanting his soul shoved back up into his body.
“It’s a close call.” Eric rolls his eyes. “Still a fucking bad idea.”
“I don’t know,” Jensen trails off with an easy shrug.
“You’re either denser than a brick wall or you hate authority.”
“I’d rather go with the latter.”
“Yeah, you would.” Eric sighs and shakes his head. “Trying to fuck your costar is the worst fucking thing you’ve ever done.”
“Did you give this speech to Jared?”
“Why would I give the speech to Jare - ohmygodfuckingno!” Jensen shrugs and Eric slaps a hand over his face, dragging it down dramatically. “I didn’t wanna believe a word about - well shit, obviously that was just my mind trying to protect me.”
Jensen chuckles awkwardly. It’s not like he enjoys knowing - or imagining - that Jared fucked around for a while with some other guy when Jensen was ready and willing to walk Jared through every step of finding himself as being pretty damned gay.
“Oh Jesus, whatever, I guess you got what you wanted in the end.”
He allows that statement to simmer. He nods when it all settles and manages to not smirk too hard when he slaps Eric on the back. “Yeah.”
Paley whips by in a blur of cameras and suits and laughter. Jensen can’t remember the last time he got this much enjoyment out of talking about his job and hanging with his coworkers and friends.
Danneel, too, because she’s an angel at his side, looking ridiculously polished and beautiful. She’s comfortable in front of the cameras and keeps cracking quick jokes in Jensen’s ear, which keeps him loose and smiling the entire time.
She squeezes his hand when they stop to take pictures with Jared and Genevieve and it’s a comfort, because there’s still a tiny flare at seeing Jared and his ex standing side-by-side. Even when Jensen remembers well that he and Jared had spent most of their morning in bed together.
“How long have you been like this?” Danneel asks when they’re inside and preparing for their panel.
“Like what?” Jensen replies with Jared saying the same, at the same time, and that seems to make both women laugh.
“Did you seriously plan these outfits?” Genevieve asks flatly.
Jared drops his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “I don’t think Jensen really plans to look this good. Doesn’t take a lot of work.”
“Unlike you,” Jensen replies.
Jared runs his other hand down his chest, pats his lower abdomen. “I’m proud of my investment.”
Jensen silently admits that he, too, is proud of Jared’s investment to toning his body the way it is. It is more than enough when they’re alone and Jensen can slowly undress Jared and…this is not the time or place to start thinking of all those things.
Danneel smacks the back of Jensen’s head. “Stop it, you’re drooling.”
Jensen scowls, and can see from the corner of his eye that Jared winks at them both.
“You are disgusting,” Genevieve sighs at Jared. “And obvious.”
Jared squeezes Jensen’s shoulder. “Doubt that’s ever gonna stop.”
Just then, the Paley people swarm around and the rest of their panel are shuffling along to join them. Danneel and Genevieve each say their goodbyes and Jensen’s left staring at Jared. Who’s just staring and smiling back at Jensen.
Jensen smirks. “Never gonna stop, huh?”
“You’re stuck with me, buddy.”
And just like that, every little worry, every second of angst that the bottom’s about to fall out on Jared-n-Jensen just excuses itself away, and Jensen grins back.
They’re good.
The buzz lasts throughout the night, and when he and Jared return to Jensen’s place in L.A., he’s still feeling warm and fuzzy.
“You should wear it to bed,” Jared says against his neck. He’s standing behind Jensen in the kitchen to share a beer after midnight, and Jared can’t stop stroking his large palms and fingers over the delicate fabric of Jensen’s suit jacket.
“I was thinking the opposite.”
“Taking it off?”
Jensen smirks and lets Jared continue to maul him as he sips from his beer bottle. It’s not like Jensen ever stopped him from it before. “I was thinking the flannel pajamas my mom got me for Christmas. They always remind me of home. She’s a great gift giver.”
Jared groans and lightly pushes Jensen away. “Can you not mention your mom when I’m trying to seduce you.”
“Seduce me?” Jensen chuckles and turns around. “You gotta work on your technique.”
Jared tugs him by his belt, bringing them flush together. “I’m working pretty hard here. You’re the one who’s playing hard to get.”
“I was never hard to get,” Jensen replies with a soft smile.
“Then I guess I was just slow.”
Jensen makes a face, taking his time to think about it. “Yeah, I’d say you’re pretty slow.”
Jared backwalks them out of the kitchen and into the hall with his fingers still tucked into Jensen’s belt. “Then why’re we wasting more time when we could be making up for it.”
Jensen thinks on the fact that Jared may have been slow, but he’s also pretty fucking smart. He decides to follow Jared right along. It’s not like he never did before. The difference is, these days it pays off.
Jensen thinks if he hears the countdown one more time, he’ll throw shit, yank his hair out, and kick the Impala.
Well, maybe not that. He couldn’t hurt Baby when Kim’s the one being a jackass.
“One…two…three!” Kim calls out slowly. Still Jared falters when he tugs open the passenger side door and heaves his giant body into the seat and shuts the door, Jensen beating him by two full seconds.
So maybe Jared’s the jackass.
“You are a moron!” Jensen shouts at Jared, the noise echoing in the close quarters of the Impala’s front seat.
Jared laughs and shakes his hands out like he’s nervous. “I’m getting there!”
“You’re getting nowhere but closer to a swift kick in the ass!”
Jared keeps on laughing as he steps back out of the car. Once on their own two feet, Jensen and Jared each shake out their arms and glance across the fake parking lot to Kim and Company set behind them to film what should be the easiest take of the day: getting into the fucking car.
Over the hood of the car, Jared smirks at Jensen and Jensen wants to throttle him, but he’s learned in their short time together that there’s no such thing as willpower around Jared Padalecki.
“Let’s do this!” Jared announces, spinning his finger in the air like he’s not the one holding them up.
Once more, Kim’s countdown comes, they open the car doors, hop into their seats, and smack the doors closed…with Jared a second too late.
“Goddammit!” Jensen yells but he’s laughing, too, because this is the most absurd thing they’ve had to tackle. Even sadder is the fact that they keep failing.
Well, Jared keeps failing.
“Were you dropped on your head as a baby?” Jensen asks, not bothering to get out of the car just yet.
“Yes, I was,” Jared replies, matter-of-factly. “About fourteen times.”
Jensen chuckles and finally shoves the car door open again. “It shows.”
Upright and outside again, Jared widens his shoulders then playfully shucks his hair out of his eyes, sweeping bits across his forehead a la Sam. Jensen’s still laughing to himself because for all that Jared can be a total pain in the ass, he’s a funny pain in the ass.
Jared puckers his lips to Jensen and winks, and Jensen feels his stomach plummet far into his knees.
So he’s also a pretty hot, tempting, taunting, funny pain in the ass.
For weeks now, Jensen has been doing all he can to differentiate the feelings of camaraderie of working on set with Jared and the deep, brotherly connection of Sam and Dean from the deep-gut draw he feels whenever he lets Dean’s guard down.
“Alright, ready?” Kim yells to them, and then seconds later counts down faster than ever before.
“Holy shit!” Jensen nearly shrieks as he and Jared hustle to keep up with the quick numbers.
They fail, and it’s such a sad fact that Jensen is right there and Jared is falling behind worse and worse with each attempt.
Jensen declares they’re handling it themselves and counts Jared off. They rush into the car and manage to slam the doors shut at the same time, but Jared also knocks his knee into the glove box, whining in pain. Jensen can’t stop laughing hysterically now.
“Fucking knee!” Jared groans, kicking his other foot up at the glove box.
“You’re such a fucking monster,” Jensen spits out between giggles. Yes, he’s now reduced to giggles at Jared’s expense. “A freaking gargantuan Big Foot.”
“More like Big Knee.”
That sets Jensen off on another fit of laughter, huffing in between. “Big Knee? You’re such a moron.”
“I’m not a moron! This car is too small!”
Jensen tumbles out of the front seat, just starting to control his laughter. The Impala has more than enough room for two guys like them, Jared’s just unfortunate to have been born without coordination, or grace.
“Alright, Princess,” Jensen says, as level as possible while recovering from his laughter.
“If you insist.”
It takes four more takes until they get it, but soon enough, they’re in time and have their asses on the bench seat at the very same moment.
Jensen glances over and Jared’s already smirking. “Only took ya ten years.”
“Not ten!” Jared insists. Then adds on, “Okay, maybe five. I’m slow, but I catch up.” Jensen raises in eyebrow and Jared shrugs goofily. “Eventually.”
“I ain’t waiting around for eventually. You better start catchin’ up real fast.”
Jared chuckles and swats at Jensen’s head. “Patience, young padawan.”
