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[niroc]

Owkay, I've decided to post it here anyway. I'm putting it up in full (if lj will let me). Any comment you might have, is to be posted below. ^_^ The fandom is Angel, the pairing Cordelia/Faith. Enjoy.

Prologue

An inelegant thud announced the arrival of someone new in the room. As Wesley collapsed from sheer exhaustion, Angel raised his axe again, to protect and serve, just in case the spell had located the wrong person. Again.

Two almond eyes flashed up from under a dishevelled mass of dark hair and with a short yelp, Cordelia ran to the girl on the floor.
Behind her, a man sighed in relief as tears streamed down his face.
“Faith. At last.”

“Faith, honey, are you okay?” Cordelia tried to reach for her old friend. Faith backed away, scared, surprised.
“My love?” she whispered incredulously. “But you’re dead…”
Cordelia was silent in her shock and the girl passed out again.

Chapter One (Robin panicking)

The night had passed quietly in LA. Angel couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually just patrolled for vampires and found nothing uglier lurking about. He’d even sent Spike home half way through the night, because he’d had no use for him and lets face it, you don’t want to hear him wining about the dire need for entertainment all night. A little bickering with the Sire just didn’t keep Spike from yawning anymore.

This morning he had walked into his office and found the perfect cup of pigs blood and just a tiny to-do pile on his desk. Harmony hadn’t even accidentally blown up the micro wave, for once. It had been a great day.

So why was he wrecking his brain to see where it all went wrong? Oh yeah, Robin. In his office. Beyond himself. Panicked, in pain and desperate.
Yup, that was it.

“Angel!”
“Robin, what’s up. Everything ---“
“I’ve lost her, Angel. I’ve lost her and I can’t get her back!”
“What? Slow down. Lost who?”
“Faith! I lost Faith! I can’t get her back! She just wooosh disappeared. I can’t get her back! I’ve tried all the spells I could find. Nothing! You have to help me, man, you have to get her back, you have to---“

Robin had been pacing the room, all the while working Angel into a smaller and smaller corner. Now, he collapsed on the couch, his head between his hands, eyes red-rimmed with sleep deprivation and grief.

“I can’t live without her, Angel. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved. She’s everything…” He jumped up and lunged at Angel. “What am I supposed to do now?!”

Angel easily fended him off and led him back to the couch. Robin sagged into it like a bag of bricks.
“Now, you tell me exactly what happened, and we’ll fix it.” He walked over to the intercom.
“Harm, get everyone in here.”
“But ---“
“Now.”

Chapter two (The Ward)

“Hey Fred, how is she?”
“Oh, hey Robin. Doctors say she’s going to be just fine.” She smiled gently at him.

The Angel, Wolfram & Heart Hospital Ward (the A double U double H double U, in common speech) had been a very recent addition to the company. The personnel had been selected from an elite group of doctors in both medicine and science. The variety of clientele the Ward catered for proved most needing of the second group. The species had to be studied for them to come up with a proper treatment, after all. The science geeks had even invented more efficient techniques for some of the more run-of-the-mill procedures. Fred was proud to be leading the department, neatly intertwined with her own research group.

“Fine as in…?”
“Oh, a concussion, a few broken ribs and a fractured ankle. Nothing major for a slayer, right?” She tried to look cheery.
“And the thing you’re not telling me?”
Fred almost looked like a deer trapped in headlights. “Well…”
“Yes?”
“See, the thing is…”
“Fred, I’m a big boy.”
“She’s been talking in her sleep.”
“She’s been doing that for as long as I can remember, Fred.” Robin gave her a tired smile.
“She’s been crying out Cordelias name a lot…”
Robin reverted to the grim look he had been sporting.
“…screaming about how somebody killed her. She used some pretty ugly words for the guy who supposedly did it, too.”
“So Cordelia got into some trouble in her world, and she saved her. It’s probably nothing.”
“Robin…” she turned towards him now, a sad look in her eyes.
“Again, big boy here.”
“She’s been screaming them at you…”

Chapter three (Showdown)

He didn’t really know why he had insisted on seeing her. Fred hadn’t exactly painted a pretty picture about the mental state of his lover.
He walked in to find her sleeping, seemingly peaceful, in her white hospital bed and ditto gown. Machines flashed meaningless numbers at him as he approached her bed. She stirred to the sound of his footsteps.

Hello beautiful, how are you feeling?”
Her eyes shot open violently and a stare of undisguised hatred unconsciously made him step back.
“You…” Her face contorted to a painful grimace. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, beautiful, I ---“
“You lost all rights to that word years ago, Robin.” She spat out his name. Like it left a foul taste in her mouth. Robin flinched. He had never seen so much anger on her face. So much hate. And even when he’d seen something similar, it had never been directed at him.
“Years ago? But I ---“
“What do you want, Robin? Have you come to haunt my dreams now? Killing you just wasn’t enough, hu? Should’ve scattered your ashes along with that ‘Elder companion’ of yours.”
In a flash, she tore out her IV.
“Never too late to make that happen!”

Robin never even saw her coming. If her injuries slowed her down at all, he sure didn’t notice anything. She threw herself at him, fists hitting him in the face and chest. He was so shocked, he never thought of bringing his hands up in defence. A whirlwind of fists kept working his body, a black-and-white figure moving so fast, he couldn’t even make out her face. Her eyes, however, were clear as day. Red-rimmed and full of rage.

Chapter four (Stray ends)

It wasn’t until Angel tore her off him that they were able to asses the damage. Robin had cuts and bruises all over his face. His shirt was torn, to reveal a battered up chest. Faith had not only punched, she had clawed and bitten until he was no more than a pulp. Fred and some of the staff had carefully put him on a bed, where he had remained for the following week.

Faith had been restrained, Angel and Spike both needed to hold her down as Fred buckled her up. She had been scowling at them ever since. Her wounds were healing up fast and Angel feared he might have to come up with more permanent measures to keep her from attacking her dark lover again. Or was that old lover? He felt a head ache rising.

“I had no idea she was so upset with Robin.” Lorn had stumbled in from his business trip just a few hours ago. “I mean, that universe was similar to ours, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.” Wesley looked defeated. He had brought back a berserker. “All the research I was able to do, points to something of a parallel universe. Same demon-human ratio, same environment, possibly even the same people. Her behaviour is beyond me.”
“So something happened in the past four months between her and Robin.”
“Erm, hello, she called me ‘my love’. Something tells me it was more than four months.”
“Yes, plus the fact that her body is covered in scars I’ve never seen before. She looks older, too. It must have been longer, Gunn.”
“The time frame doesn’t matter, the fact remains that Faith and her man had some serious beef over something.”
“Serious beef? Honestly, Gunn, I’ve been here so long now, and still I can’t understand half your vocabulary.”
“They had a fight, Wes. The big question is still: what made her angry enough to do that?” Angel sighed. ‘I don’t know anything that would set her off like that. She wouldn’t do that. To anyone…”

The group fell silent, organising their thoughts. Eventually, it was Spike who stated the obvious. ‘Well then, we’ll just go ask ‘er, won’ we?”

Chapter five (Demon hunting)

“We found the demon about thirty miles north from here. His trail of dead was easy enough to follow. Our guess was that he was originally headed out here, but since Faith finally managed to do more than scratch him in the last fight, he had slowed down to recover a little.

“Anyway, we got to this tiny little village -entirely slaughtered, of course- where we found some obvious pointers that our demon was there. Besides the dead bodies everywhere, we also found his minion posse cowering all over town. Took Faith and I several days to get them all.

“A few days before, we had come up with a plan of action: since we didn’t have the necessary amulet to banish him -‘located somewhere in South East Asia’, sure, that’s specific- we decided to banish him to whatever dimension we could find.”

A few eyebrows were raised.

“I know, I know, stupid. But we’d been following this guy around for I-don’t-know-how-many days now and Faith and I had already taken him on so many times… We never even nicked his skin. We were exhausted and out of ideas.
I spent the next three days at underground gatherings and occult bookshops, trying to find an appropriate spell. We worked out all the details and got back on his tail.

“So we’re all set up, Faith lures him out of the underground pool hall he was staying in and I get started on the ritual. They must have been at it for ten minutes when that damn portal finally opens. So Mr. Meanie looks up…”

More eyebrows were raised,

“… it was Faiths turn to name the bad guy…”

…followed by a choked laugh. Angel secured the silence with a smack on Spikes head.

“…as I said, the demon looks up and shoves Faith through the portal. I could’ve sworn he grinned at me before he stepped through and the gate closes behind him.”

“You closed the gateway on her,?” Wesley uttered heatedly. “Why would you ever do that?”

“I didn’t. I wasn’t even tired or losing strength at all, for that matter. My guess is Mr. Meanie… erm, the demon, closed it somehow.”

“Can they do that?”

“Well Faith bloody well didn’t do it herself, Fred!” Angel didn’t shut Spike up this time. “ ‘e was way ou’ of your league, Mr. America. You shoul’ve come to us. At least Headboy ‘ere does ‘is homework on the nasties!” Robin almost went for him, but knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against the peroxide vampire.

“Well, let’s just fix it, okay?” Cordelia headed for the phone. “Chinese sound good to everyone?”

Chapter six (Another dimension)

She woke up to find Cordelia staring at her. “Hello there.”
“Come to haunt my dreams again?”
“Your dreams? Oh Faith,” the brunette sighed. “Don’t you know this is all very real?”
“Couldn’t be.”
“How’s that?”
“You’ve been dead for three years.”

“Dead?” Cordelias eyes went wide. “Really?”
“Yeah. Robin snapped that pretty little neck of yours before my very eyes.”
Cordelia unconsciously reached for her throat. “Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why’? I loved you, you had to die. Standard Robin-procedure. But don’t worry, I snapped his pretty little neck, too, right before I planted that stake in his heart.”
Cordelia just stared at the young woman in shock. “You… killed Robin?” She tried to get her head around it. “But you love Robin?”
“Honey, when did you stop reading the paper? I stopped loving that bastard the moment his Sire ordered him to kill me. And that was a long time ago.”
“How long could that possibly be, Faith, you were only gone four months.”
Cordelia got a blank look in response. “Gone? Where did I go?

“… Wait, why are you messing with my head? Robin?” She stared intently at Cordelia. “You can morph back now, you sadistic bastard.”
“No, Faith, it’s really me. This is all happening. Four months ago, you were taken to another dimension by some demon thingie. I believe you called him Mr. Meanie.” Cordelia searched her friends face for some sign of recognition.

“Mr. Meanie?” A thoughtful frown appeared on the girls face, as she tried to remember what happened. “I haven’t heard that name in years. How do you know it?”
“Robin” The glint of anger didn’t escape the pretty brunette, and she quickly added: “He came running in here a month ago, telling us he’d lost you and wasn’t able to bring you back. That this demon had pushed you through and closed the gate behind him. He was a mess, hadn’t slept in weeks, trying to get you back. Said you were stuck in another dimension.”
“Another dimension?”

“You’re telling me that ugly mofo pushed her in ten years ago?” Robin was aghast. “Ten years?!” He started pacing (he did a lot of that when he got excited). “How is that even possible?”
“It’s perfectly normal, Robin.”
“How the hell is that normal, Wes? How can it ever ---“
“Robin, calm down! Listen to me!” the elegant Brit grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back on the couch. Angel had needed serious persuasion to let the dark man be here in the first place. He was far from recovered from the little showdown with Faith and needed more rest. The only reason he was allowed to stay, was that it could explain why he was attacked by his lover.

“The idea never sprang to mind, because the dimensions are so much alike, but the time frame can differ from one dimension to the next. Apparently, four months here equals ten years there. It’s a fascinating phenomenon, really, where ---“
“This is the angry boyfriend you’re talking to, not your science class.”
“Well, I just meant to say ---“
“I don’t care what you meant to say,” Robin flared. “I want my girlfriend back!”

Chapter seven (Faith explains I)

It had taken all of Cordelias skill for Faith to allow Robin in the room, but now they were all settled in chairs around her bed, ready to hear about those ‘ten years in hell’ as the girl had kindly dubbed them.

“It’s still pretty vague, really. I do remember being shoved. Kicked the bastard in the chins for it. I remember a bright light, but I always assumed he’d used that to stun me. That would’ve been switch time, then?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“Right. So I finally damage the sucker enough to actually weaken him, Robin pulls a stakey and we’re cool.”

“A stakey?”

“I would’ve put a stake through his heart, apparently.”

“Oh.”

“Hey, I’m telling the story here!
“Anyway, I first notice things are weird when Robin drops me off at ‘my place’ and doesn’t even kiss me goodnight. I think he actually laughed when I leaned in for it. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing? Foxin, sure, beb, but we were very clear on the no strings deal!’
“Sure, no strings. A lot of no strings. I was pissed, right after I tell him I love him, the guy decides to freak.”

“Three days before the big fight…”
“Yeah, don’t remind me. I remember you distinctly as choking on your Coke.”
“You took me by surprise!”
“Can I just get on with it now?
“So I told him we were through and I bailed.”
“I never got to say it back…”
Faith let out a mean laugh. “Well, I don’t love you. I’ll never make that mistake again.” She took a breath, releasing some of the anger that came with the statement.
“Why do you hate me so much, beautiful?”
“I’ll get to that,” she snapped.
“Anyway…” A cold glare at Robin, to see if he dared interrupt her again. He wisely shut up and stared at a point on the wall.

“… I spent three days away from him, sulking, when he shows up at my door. I shouldn’t ‘ve trusted the flowers and I sure as hell shouldn’t have trusted his need to be invited in. That really should’ve set off the Spidey-sense… But he was there and he pretended to love me and for a second, everything was the way I remembered it. We started making love…” Another glare at Robin. “And then that jerk sank his teeth into me! ‘I want you to be my eternal companion’, crap like that. Kicked him in the nuts and ran for it.”

She paused, seeming to think about something. “I finally get why B couldn’t kill you, Soul Boy.” Angel smiled weakly at her. “I tried to kill this idiot six or seven times before running off for good.

“Had to keep running, too, the bastard wouldn’t stop following me. Ran all through the States, Europe, Asia, South America… Ended up in Iceland before I realised the best place to hide was one where he’d already looked. So I came here, to you guys. By that time, I was so worn out, I spent three weeks on the Ward, just sleepin’ it off.

Queen C here finally offered me a place to crash, since the hotel had been sold a few months before. Slept on her couch for a while. Couldn’t admit to myself that the only thing wrong with the apartments we checked, was the fact that she was not in it. I mean, we worked so well together, here, at home… We’d have movie nights and ‘girls night out’ and make over nights and shopping sprees… She made me laugh for the first time in so long and when we talked… She made sense.

“After years of running away from Robin, or the thing Robin had become,” she frowned at this, “Cordelia was my little piece of heaven. A very straight piece of heaven, too. Slapped me in the face when I first tried to kiss her. Didn’t stop her from kissing me right after, though. Would you slap me, C?”
Cordelia blushed in her corner. “Depends on the circumstances.”
“Oh don’t worry baby, I’ll make sure we’ll have the right circumstances this time.” Faith winked at the now crimson woman. She didn’t see the defeat on Robins face. Or didn’t want to. “So anyway, we had these amazing four years, where I forgot everybody and everyone but her. My mistake.” The hazel-eyed girl had lost all signs of emotion.

“On our fourth anniversary, I walk in to find Cordelia tightly strapped to a chair. A grinning Robin behind her, his Sire -or Elder companion, as he liked to be referred to- sitting on the couch, looking very pleased with himself.
‘Well, there you are’ Robin muses, ‘so delighted you could join us, beautiful!’ I would’ve loved to make that grin permanent right there. All of a sudden his creepy friend’s behind me pinning my arms together. He tears so hard it felt like he’d dislodged them. He forces me on my knees. I try a few moves, but he doesn’t even blink. Somehow I distinctly remember thinking ‘oh great’”.

She paused, took a long look at Cordelia as if to gather her thoughts. She seemed on the verge of tears. “And then the ‘games’ begin. He skins her lower arms, cuts triangles from her legs, carves obscene words into her face. The more I swear at him, the more I scream for him to stop, the worse it gets. So I start begging to let me take her place, begging for him to just give me the knife, begging for him to stop.” Her tears flowed freely now.

“She never screamed, my Cordelia. She just looked at me, her eyes saying that she loved me. That it was ok. I think she even whispered to me that I shouldn’t worry. He used her for a surgeons doll and I shouldn’t worry?!

“Anyway, I’d stopped begging because I got lost in her eyes. I think we were both imagining the same ‘somewhere else’. I hear Robin sigh. And then he says ‘Well, if you’re not going to play anymore, I’ll just go find another toy.’ Then I hear something snap. And the light in my baby’s eyes goes out, she ends up just staring into nothing. I notice her head is slightly tilted.
I remember hearing the Elder say ‘this has lasted long enough, Childe, let us take our leave.’ And then the door closes.

“I… I don’t know when my tears started blocking my vision… Or when I started screaming. I just remember how sore my throat felt when I finally stopped.”

Chapter eight (Aftermath)

They hadn’t spoken at all since they’d left Faiths room. She had been so grief stricken they’d decided to give her a break.
Fred was in tears, Gunn held her up, talking to her softly. Spike was steaming angry, but refrained from hitting Robin, because after all, it wasn’t this Robin who did that to Cordelia. Plus, she was sitting right there. The brunette had dropped herself into the couch in Angel’s office, a protective Lorn standing beside her.

“No wonder she hates me,” Robin’s voice was thick with emotion. “I wouldn’t blame her if she never spoke to me again.”
“You didn’t do this Robin. It wasn’t even the Robin of that dimension. It was a vamp, a cold-hearted killer with the memory of a girl.”
“Yeah, Angel played the same kinds of tricks on Buffy. Some of your best work, too, mate.” Angel scowled briefly at his offspring before continuing to Robin: “Give her time, she knows it wasn’t you. Not this you, anyway. She’ll snap out of it, you’ll see.”
“But she’ll never love him again, Angel. What he -or other dimension he- did to me -well, other dimension me-… She’ll never open up to him again. I’m sorry, Robin,” she added, seeing the pained look on the dark mans face.
“It’s all my fault. Who was I to think that I possibly knew enough about magic and portals and Mr. Meanie to successfully banish him anywhere?” He threw his hands in the air. “And now, as a reward for my stupidity, I lose the one woman that has ever meant anything to me! She’ll never trust me again, or be my friend for that matter. Even if that ever happened, she’d certainly never love me again.” He slumped onto the couch. “I’ve lost her.”

Nobody really knew what to say, so the group sat in silence for a while. Fred and Gunn were the first to excuse themselves to bed, the others were quick to follow the example.

In the end, it was just Angel and Robin. “What do I do now, Angel?” The man looked at him and gave him a weak smile. “I don’t know, old friend. I just don’t know.”
Aaaanyway, I hope you've enjoyed it. See you guys next post.