fic for xplodey_di

[nino_mod]

For: xplodey_di
From: kanu_x

Title: Q&A
Pairings: Sakumiya, Ohba
Genre: au, friendship, romance, fantasy
Rating: pg-13
Warning: a touch of violence
Summary: Arashi goes on a journey to find an answer.
Notes: 1 - life-years and human time span is different from normal
2 - broken into segments but storyline is linear


* * *

The QUESTION:

There are all types of Masters in this world.
And I am the most formidable.

The GameMaster had been alive for centuries. He was infamous.
For every game he created, there were thousands of players.
For every winner, there were prizes.
For every loser, there were punishments.
He was celebrated as the best within the country and throughout the land.

But as time wore on, countless centuries slipping into an endless timeline, the GameMaster realized one thing: he was lonely. No one knew him. No one cared. He lived in obscurity and it was only about his games, his prizes, the torture of his punishments. No one knew the real man underneath the title.
Thus, the GameMaster created his last game: the Question.

This Question went in the form of a riddle:
- I can create but not destroy.
- I am hot and I am cold.
- I am near and also far.
- You are limbs that I move.
Who am I?

No one knew. They laughed because they could not understand.
How can the infamous GameMaster be so much?
How can he be both hot and cold?

But this last prize that the Master offered was extravagant: the fulfillment of any wish.
So they played anyway.
And they lost.

Like its reward, the GameMaster's last punishment for his failed players was extreme.

You do not know me, so you will not know yourself, the GameMaster said. Your name, your memories, your very identity will be stripped from you. Your form will alter. No one, not even your family, friends, or lover will want you. You will be forever cursed to roam the land unless that Answer is found.

Each and every time, on the very spot that they had answered wrong, the minds of the losers caved in. Emptiness took over. Eyes became bloodshot. Facial features were distorted and tongues were twisted. Their human skin became tinged with green. Until that Answer was found, the losers were cursed to wail as ghouls.

The Game became endless, continuing for decades that spanned into centuries. The people continued to play. The number of ghouls increased, littering fields, rivers, and forests. Throughout the land, towns, cities, and villages learned to fortify their gates and fences to keep out the beasts; the once human monsters who now clung to any living human in an attempt to claim an identity.

One day, a boy entered his home and found three ghouls, his mother, father, and older sister, gaping at him with empty eyes. They set upon him, clawing at his body and face in the hopes of using his being to replenish their forgotten ones. He fought through the arms and legs swinging at him. Their fingers dug into the skin of his face, wishing to tear it away, and he desperately broke free, wincing as pain seared along his jaw.

Kazunari paused to catch his breath and saw his mother on the floor, on all fours, hungering after him. Her eyes were wide. Her mouth hung open showing teeth. His sister clung to wall, observing him and waiting for Kazunari's next move as her fingers bit into the plaster. The intense smell of blood filled his nostrils while her nails cracked and yet she was unaware.

Kazunari felt a warm line of his own blood run down his face. They had hurt him. They no longer recognized him. He wanted to cry in frustration even as his heartbeat pounded in his ears, drowning out all noises. He wanted to shout for it all to go away as his gasping father took one staggering step forward, reaching, and wailed. The unintelligible, earsplitting shriek thundered through his ears, overwhelming even the sound of his racing heart.

He knew who they were, what they were now. His family was no longer family.

"Go away!!!!!" Kazunari shouted, on the verge of breaking, and yet they used that moment to jump. That second, he kicked the nearest one, his father, away. He ran and stumbled over chairs in his hurry to leave. Unlike what any other would have done in his situation, Kazunari could not bring himself to end their life. The only option was to run.

He felt fingers grasp the heel of his foot and drop away. Monstrous shrieks rang behind him as slammed the wooden door shut and the ghouls' bodies crashed against the frame, nearly breaking through.

Kazunari did not wait. He ran, allowing his legs to carry him like his fear and his terror, like his desperation and the shattering world behind him.

Outside in the near forest, Kazunari wept miserably alone. He had lost everything.

It was then that he challenged the GameMaster.

"GameMaster!" he shouted. "If I solve this Question, I will take your life!"

Deal, the Master had answered.

He gave Kazunari twenty-eight years to find the person who had the Answer. On the last day of the twenty-seventh year, Kazunari would have to play.

And from thereon, his Game began.

*

NINOMIYA KAZUNARI:

Q. Why are you here?
A. I walk without turning back because there is no use looking. There's no use pining for a home that is gone. I search for the person who can win this final Game, surely while carrying the hopes of all the people.

My path is lonely, but I do not need anyone's pity.

I fend for myself. Can and will.
More importantly, because I have to.

Every once in a while, I come across a ghoul.

On a random day, a young ghoul leaps out of the bushes while I am breaking camp. Its small hands shoot up to choke me, but I kick it back into the bushes. The child growls and hides, biding its time. Through the leaves, I see its blood-red eyes and that unknown to even itself, the child is crying.

Those tears touch the deepest part of me even while my expression hardens. I know people kill these ghouls. I know they don't care about these humans who took the risk of playing and lost, but I care and I can't kill.

I capture and tie the child up. My hands are firm even as it wails. I leave it there screeching behind me and have promised even to that ghoul that I will find this Answer, that I will eventually release it from its misery.

Through the years, I go endlessly from one place to another, meeting its people and mingling with the crowd. My destinations eventually repeat. As annoying as that may be, I have learned in ten years of searching alone and going through the same places that even when a particular village looks the same, the people have changed.

More than once, I find an old friend howling in the forest with its mouth gaping open. A different person has replaced him or her in the community. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Stupid people. Stupid game.

The number of ghouls continues to grow because humans will always desire. No, there's nothing wrong with that. The only problem is that they won't work for it, instead putting all their hopes on an ignorant answer for this prize.

I can't even count my promises because there are now too many. But, I still mean to keep every single one of them.

Q. When did you meet?
A. The days have become insignificant. They continue indefinitely. There is always a tomorrow and a tomorrow after that and only until that last hour of the twenty-seventh year will there be a difference. I don't enjoy the today with no Answer and no warmth.

This time, I wake up grumbling. I did not know that it was the morning I was to meet them. Meet who? The rich idiots, Sakurai Sho and his half-brother Aiba Masaki. That's the day I go into the countryside.

The roads are empty and to either side, the plains stretch endlessly and fade into the distance. I skirt around the land of a lord and move on.

To the side, there is a small forest. As soon as I near, a boy stands up from the bushes. He blinks at me, just standing there as if he's never seen another human being or a stranger before.

And then his surprise turns into quick anger. The little boy comes rushing at me and swinging his arms wildly. "I'll protect him! I'm going to protect Sho!" he's yelling and damn the crazy midget, his hits land on my chest and knocks my breath away. I catch his tiny fists, furious. He gets on my nerves. I don't even know what he's angry about.

That young boy, I'm to learn later that he is Masaki, irritates me enough that I hang him up a tree, strung upside down.

He's still yelling and screaming at me and I look up at him, scowling.
"I'm going to protect Sho! I'm going to protect him, you scumbag!" he yells.
"Shut up, you noisy midget!" I retort and I'm almost tempted to leave him the way he is.

That is when Sho comes along and does his motherly thing by apologizing for his baby brother. Consecutively, Sakurai Sho does the craziest thing ever in the life story of Ninomiya Kazunari.

He looks at me and his eyes cloud over. I see it. I know that look even if it's the first time for me; the little idiot is naive enough to fall in love at first sight with me. And he doesn't think before he presses our lips together, standing on his tip toes to do it.

He. Kissed. Me. I've reached the point beyond furious. Sho receives a punch to the stomach for taking advantage! ( So much for protecting myself.) But even though he bows over in pain, he's still smiling and maybe that's what stopped me from kicking him.

From that moment on, Sakurai Sho refuses to leave my side. He clings on and I can't push him away. The result is that I end up dragging the pair along (because somehow, Masaki can't live without his older brother either: I had thrown a bone down the road. Later, the midget popped up with that bone and had the audacity to thank me. As if he didn't know I was trying to get rid of him too.)

Of course, over the years Masaki grew up. Somewhat. He's lanky and tall now, tallest, but the shadow of his innocence has not gone away. He still has that best (and most cheerful) smile. He still has the tiniest brain. Always will he be the annoying boy who attacked me for no reason.

And Sho, he's become less spontaneous. No, it's just become rare. But Sho's still a suffocating hen. He continues to be the eyes that watch over Masaki and me. Even if I don't need it.

Through the years, they have become my friends and agreeable companions. I have come to tolerate the both of them just a bit. Even irritable Sho is acceptable; though after all this time he suddenly makes my heart pound. I'm almost dizzy when he smiles. That's the part I can't accept.

This feeling should not be here.

Q. Where are you going?
A. We have stuck together for more than ten years. I'm still nowhere near my goal. We travel, going through the same places over. And unsurprisingly, the three of us have fallen into a routine.

We are heading to a trading town situated by the sea. It's the third time in a decade.

And we reach there. Masaki immediately goes off to count his friends. Like always, Sho follows me.

"Step off my shadow," I tell him irritably. "Go do your job, Sho."
He does and it’s quite annoying that I end up turning to watch him go. I shoulder the instant solitude and enter a tavern alone. It is night and the place is jammed with fishermen, merchants, and sailors.

I sit at a crowded table and spread out my cards.
"Get your scrawny butt out!" one nasty looking man to my side bellows. He's obviously drunk and not worth my attention. I turn to his more sober neighbor. And grin, quite devilish.

"Let's play a game of cards. I've got a pound of coins. You?"
Money talks a lot. It's irresistible. I know enough.

The man is all for it and my deck is shuffled. Chairs are pulled up as others join in.
They don't know that I'm already winning.

In a long while, after countless tankards of empty glasses, ear piercing curses, and senseless threats, our game comes to an end. Surprisingly (not at all), I'm victorious. I gather all the money on the table.

Simply, of our trio
I'm the money-maker to fund this endless trip. Masaki's got the charms to friend anyone, make everyone thinks they're special, and they talk. Sho on the other hand. Well, foolish Sho...

"Fuck!" The earlier man flips over the table and reaches out to strangle me. I hold his money and I don't flinch because I know.

Sho's suddenly there and he slams a fist into the man's face, then wipes his hand calmly as the idiot falls with the whites of his eyes showing. There is a hush around the tavern.
"Kazunari, I've found a place for the night. Now, are you ready to leave yet?" he asks.

I smirk and walk out the stinking, horrible place. "I never asked for your help. I owe you nothing."
He grumbles as he follows and he doesn't even know I'm feeling just a little proud, that my heart's beating erratically. Later, he's going to need someone to bandage his weak hand. That's me. As of now, he doesn't know that either. I won't be telling him.

Q. What do you want?
A. There is a goal to the end of this adventure. My goal has not changed. My feelings for it have not changed.

Even though as each day passes I start to wish that I am just a normal boy, that I can really love Sho with everything. Every time that he wakes up and stretches, the first thing his eyes searches for is me. Why is that he smile every time he says “good morning?” Why is that he laughs so loud at almost anything? And why should my breath come in short even when I think it's stupid? The worst thing is that I start to question myself.

I start to want...

But that dream fades quickly. Each second it catches me, the darkness in my heart reminds me that I have a greater purpose.

I have a mission and this task should have filled every part of me. The only thing left in this life is to find the person who knows this Answer. I still push this impeding feeling away.

Tonight, I sit by the fire and count the days that have passed since I've left home. Already twenty years. How much longer can I keep living like this? How much longer do I have to shoulder this agony?

Suddenly, someone sits by my side. Someone buries his head into my neck. Only when the moon is up and no one sees, Sho will touch me. Only this time will I let him. I turn and wrap my arms around him, curling against his back. I crave for this distant warmth.

"Kazu, are you cold?" he asks quietly.
"No," I lie.

I push Sho down and we fall forward on the ground in a tangle of limbs. No more words are spoken. He and I can't make this binding because in the morning, I will still push him away. The coldness will return because it has to.

What do I want? Not Sho. Definitely not him. Or, I never wished for something like this to stand in my way.

Question: Who is the GameMaster?
A. It's the Answer.

*

AIBA MASAKI:

Q. Why are you here?
A. I am wherever Sho is!

He was crying back then when I was a kid. Papa didn't care about his mom who was sick in bed and I didn't know it was important then.

We came back to the Big House. I saw him crying alone and became scared. Sho was always nice to me. Too nice. I know my Mom stole his Papa away from him. My Mom is an Aiba and I am an Aiba because I am not the legitimate child of Papa, but everyone knows that the rules are nothing in this House. Sho and his mom are forgotten. Still, my brother never blames us. So from there I see Sho and I wanted to be with him forever, to protect Sho forever.

We ran away from home to go with Kazunari. We didn't look back. No regrets.

Kazu-chan is pretty and he has a sad smile. It's nice too. I like him.

What's more, Sho really likes him! He's never taken to someone like Kazu-chan before, so that the small man can make my older brother happy is everything.

I'm tagging along. Sho and Kazu-chan are always together and I'm always by myself, but I'm not lonely. Definitely... am not. I just want everyone to be happy. I'm helping Kazu-chan with his fight against the GameMaster.

I befriend people and seek answers. No! I am not making anyone into a fool! I just want to help this country, to help the increasing number of ghouls we see along our travels each day. It's troubling and our journey appears endless, but I'm still hoping. With everything!

And maybe, maybe secretly in my heart, it's selfish.
I want to find this answer so that Sho can be happy. He's willing to throw everything away to support Kazu-chan, but Kazunari does not turn back to look at him. He never glances Sho's way. If I find this answer, will he finally turn to love my brother?

Q. When did you meet?
A. It is just another day. The place is another city we return to. It is a really pretty city with lots of glowing lanterns.

They are holding the Moon Festival and I lose Sho and Kazu-chan in the crowd. Doesn't matter. I know they want to be alone. Once again, I am by myself. I am not lonely. Am not! As long as they are happy.

It is a full moon. I walk pass countless strangers and pass a line of trees. Then I stop and go back because someone was in a particular tree and that someone was alone. I didn't think another person would be by himself on this night too. A man whose face I couldn't see was up in the boughs, sleeping.

"Hello!" I call up. Maybe he needs a friend.
He shifts.
"Hello?" I say again. I'm interested. I want to be his friend.
He wakes and tilts his head down. To see who I am? But he slips.
I run forward spontaneously, scared.

That was how we met.

I catch Ohno and he is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. We're face to face as my arm slips around his waist and I think I've never seen anyone so translucent before. Later, Kazu-chan would smack me over the head and tell me I am stupid like my brother. Because at that point without thinking, I kiss Oh-chan. Our first time.

He instantly pulls away and he might be blushing. And furious. No! Not furious. Thankfully.
"Who're you?" he mumbles.
My face feels hot. I stutter. "I'm Aiba Masaki," I say. I don't know why I ask, "Will you come with me?"

Oh-chan doesn't think I'm crazy. He gives me a blank look, but then he reaches out and takes my hand. "Okay," he answers and from there, my world turns around.

The next morning, Kazu-chan gives an exasperated sigh when we turn up and he rolls his eyes.

"Why bring Artemis along?" he says.
I'm confused. WHO?!!

I see. Turns out, Ohno is also a Master. (The first one I've actually met!) He is the Man of the Moon.

And yes, another person comes with him.
Matsumoto Jun is here too. He is darkly handsome. Glowing! The Moon.

Q. Where are you going?
A. The four of us (five when it is day and Jun's awake) are going everywhere in the world, just some place. Kazu-chan says we have a plan but I don't know. Where are we going?

As long as Oh-chan and Sho are with me, I will go absolutely anywhere! I don't care.
"Then lose yourself down a creek!" Kazu-chan yells at me when I tell him so. Despite always yelling, Kazu-chan really loves me. I know he does.

It's just when he's mad at Ohno that I can't stand it.

Night and Oh-chan is missing Matsujun, watching him shine in the dark sky. I doze by the campfire and Kazu-chan is playing with his cards. Sho goes to him like he always does.

Ohno takes the Moon down and hold it in his small hands. It shines on his chubby face, lighting up his features.
"Put that back!" I hear Kazu-chan yell. "Some people won't have Moonlight!"

Hurt, Oh-chan puts the Moon back in the sky. I'm hurt too.

I wave him over. "Sato-chan, come here."
He comes and lies down, hugging me. I wrap my arms around Ohno and I know here's another person I want to protect.

I will never hurt him. I'll try hard not to.

But, there's really nothing to worry about. That is, concerning Oh-chan and Kazu-chan, right?
The next morning even before Jun-kun came down, Kazu-chan is ruffling sleepy Ohno's hair. It's only Oh-chan he plays with because I know he really likes him too.

Q. What do you want?
A. I have a lot of desires. I used to wish on shooting stars, but after Ohno came along, Kazu-chan told me that there are Masters of the stars too and that they are evil. I've stopped looking for them in the sky, even though Oh-chan told me later that it wasn't true. I'd rather be cautious.

I wish for Sho to be happy. I also wish for Kazunari to be happy. So let's find this answer soon? Please!

And. And in the end, I want to be with Oh-chan forever. If he will just go with me until our last day.

"Aiba," he says and I look up from digging a hole in the ground of the forest floor. Because I'm bored.
"Do you think Nino is going to be okay?" he asks.

I shake my head. I don't know. But I drop the stick and reach out my hand. "Sato-chan, come here?"

"Sho is hurt."

I'm struck dumb. Oh-chan looks at me because I freeze.
What happened?
Ohno sees. He knows I'm afraid and he finally takes my hand, inadvertently the one who draws me forward. "Nino said he will leave when he finds the Answer. Sho was hurt. He ran away."

He grips my fingers tightly and I do the same. I look down into the hole I was digging. Empty.
If Kazu-chan goes, my Wants fail. I'll lose everything. Sho. Ohno.

This time, it is me who pull Oh-chan in and wrap my arms around him. I can't let him disappear.
"Go talk to him," he says.

I don't want to. If Sho is sad, I'll only end up crying. He doesn't need me. The one he needs is Kazu who won't give him anything. But I drop my arms anyway. And I run.

Where is Sho? Where has my brother gone?

It doesn't take too long. I find him sitting on a rock, staring at our next destination, the gate of some town on the far horizon. I'm gasping for breath as I near and I know he knows I'm here. He's silent and his back is to me.

I'm five steps away. I reach out and Sho suddenly says, "Stay where you are."
"Sho," I start.

"Don't come any closer," he orders.
I know Sho better than anyone. I know he's crying by himself and he won't let me see. I sit down on the ground, watching his back. I'm sad too. I can't do anything for him. Nothing. At. All. It's hard to breathe and my vision blurs. I pull my legs in, wishing I could get my breath back.

"Masaki," he starts this time. "Kazu is weaker than me."
I bite my tongue. I don't know what he's talking about, but I must stay quiet.

"Kazu is not strong, so I'll continue to support him."
So true and so wrong. My brother is afraid to hurt Kazu-chan. Because of that, he's a coward.

Question: Who is the GameMaster?
A. No one knows the Answer! I've been looking! I've been listening! And maybe I've also been the eyes that have been seeing everything. Definitely!

No one really knows! What's with that riddle and Question? It doesn't even make sense! How can the GameMaster be two things at once? I don't understand.
I've seen Sho thinking it over. If even he doesn't know, how should I?

Ohno smiles smugly up at me. It's that smile he sometimes has when his imagination's running.
"What are you laughing at?" I demand, pouting. He's laughing at my confusion?

Oh-chan shakes his head and continue to watch me struggle, sitting there peacefully. I don't know how to tie this ghoul. "Sato-chan, help me!"

"Sho, go and help the idiot please!" Kazu-chan yells. This time, it had been him and Ohno who caught the creature. They don't want to finish securing it, but I really don't know what to do with this ghoul and it's starting to wake up.

Sho comes and I look at him in defeat. I've tied it my own way, but I guess it's wrong?
Sho doesn't know what to do with the knot either. The ghoul shakes its head, its eyes opening. I step back and reach for a pocket knife.

"It's waking up," Matsujun states the obvious while standing impeccably to the side. He never helps. I see Sho start to panic. Even if he fights for Kazu-chan, he's never liked ghouls in particular. Especially to him, they're creepy.
"All right!" I shout, getting ready to protect my brother though I'm scared too, but maybe Kazu-chan saw Sho.

He comes and stands in front of him. (They're hopeless.) What about me?

Matsujun's still just watching, but Oh-chan comes to my side. Someone cares about me!

Kazu-chan steps on the ghoul's head. It whines. He gags it.
Oh-chan bends down to undo my knot and redoes it nicely. The talented pair.
I'm unhappy. Oh-chan can really live without me.

He stands up and I hold on to him. He doesn't push me away, but I turn and see Kazu glare at Sho despite being so discreetly caring a second ago. My brother steps back and he lets Kazu-chan go on. It's not right to be happy when my brother is sad. But, I don't want to let Oh-chan go.

Oh-chan pats my hand gently. "Jun," he says. "Can you get rid of this ghoul?"
Finally, Matsujun moves. He only listens to Ohno.

I sulk, but in my arms, Oh-chan turns around. He smiles and I feel just a bit better. I smile back.
Once again, the world's brighter.

Yet, there's only five years left until Kazu-chan's twenty-eighth year.

*

MATSUMOTO JUN:

Q. Why are you here?
A. I am the Moon, the Dreamcatcher for all souls of the land. Satoshi is the fisher of those dreams, my Master who watches me every night. I go up to sleep and I have dreamt of many things over the centuries. The most frequent is of a lone boy with wary eyes. He walks the land alone, trying to save someone. Maybe the world.

I'm always left confused.

Every day that I come down, I hide what I have seen from Satoshi. I don't like to hurt him. It's best to leave his head empty. I need his soft smiles and silent peace to ease me. After that, I will not be afraid to go up each night and dream.

My Master is my best dreamer. When I shiver up in the sky, it's his waking-dreams of the shiny sea and rising sun among those he fishes that warms me. It's always been Satoshi.

So when he finally found Aiba Masaki who makes him happy, I smile for them. I keep watching over the two fools despite how clumsy they are.

And of course, with Aiba Masaki there is Sakurai Sho and Ninomiya Kazunari.

There's no need to wonder. I instantly knew Kazunari as the boy in my nightmares, desperately searching for an answer. I know who he is, what he's doing, and why. I don't pretend to understand Kazunari, but I will support him and hope this Game ends. This is for my Master, for Aiba, Sakurai, and for him.

Time is closing. There's only five years left.

I bend down and drag the ghoul we've managed to capture by its ties, glancing at Kazunari and Sakurai in the process. I don't know what to do with them, but I'm sure Kazunari knows what he's doing, so I won't interrupt his fight.

Q. When did you meet?
A. We finally speak.

While Sakurai wraps up camp and Aiba tries to cause as little trouble as possible (and my Master just watches), Kazunari sits down by my side in the shade and unconsciously shuffles his prized deck of cards.

"I haven't lost yet," he grumbles, as if I know exactly what he's talking about without being told. I'm someone different and Kazunari can tell we do not need to go in circles.

"I know," I respond easily, trying to grasp his agenda.
"No you don't," he mutters instead, annoyingly undermining his earlier mindset, and for some reason I remember his haunted eyes from my dreams. My nightmares carry on to this day. Right now, he's tense and I can feel it.

"There's Sakurai," I tell him just to make the point that I really do see. I know much more than he thinks I do. "Clearly, you're stalling because you have already found the person who can help you." I am correct. I know that Kazunari has not told the others of this truth. Contrary to what the others believe, we are not floundering on wet ground. The others think we have gotten nowhere in all these years but the truth is that Kazunari is already so far. Because I play no part in this Game, I can see.

"I don't want to use Sho!" he seethes immediately, shying away from me so that I can't observe his expression. He's tortured. "I can still leave. When he doesn't have the Answer yet. He hasn't figured it out yet! I still have five years to find another person."
"That's not a good idea," I advise him. "You haven't found anyone in two decades, Kazunari. If you want to defeat the GameMaster, you have to go with Sakurai."
He doesn't want to believe.

"It's not going to be Sho," he grumbles and abruptly stands. Our conversation has ended.
From just that, his plan has become transparent to me: Kazunari is not going to make up with Sakurai. He is not going to accept this truth.

Then, Aiba trips over the dead fire and Satoshi bursts out laughing. He's burnt a hole through his pants.
"Help me," Aiba sobs from on the ground, extending a hand towards my nonchalant Master.

His older brother sighs and shakes his head, hurrying so that he can go help the fool. But my Master finally reaches out and brushes wet hair away from Aiba's face.

That's when Aiba smiles, giving his best. He's no longer crying or in pain. Sometimes, Aiba's a miracle. He takes Satoshi's hand and holds it tightly in his strong grasp.

Kazunari goes over. "You idiot. Idiot," he says to the grinning Aiba. He opens his mouth to complain, but I hear a grunt and it seems Sakurai has cut his hand in his hurry.

I steadily fan myself as I see the smaller man quiet. He tsks the next second, feigning impatience. "You're also an idiot," he tells Sakurai, but I see the bigger man smile at the scolding and the other fellow bends down to tend to his cut.

As always, the inconsistency hurts my eyes.

Before we met, I already knew Kazunari from my dreams.

I know Kazunari more than anyone else and so I can also tell ahead of time that if the man tries to leave Sakurai, he will leave a part of himself behind. Kazunari does not want to be a fool, but he is.

Q. Where are you going?
A. Wherever the rest of them go.
Kazunari walks on without looking back. Sho follows. Aiba and Satoshi stand behind him. I am always the shadowing spectator. This process is ongoing. The routine continues.

I credit Kazunari for thinking he can live without Sakurai.

I wake up, forming in the middle of the room that they've chosen to stay in, and Aiba's crying while holding my Master very close.

"What's wrong?" I ask. The atmosphere is tense.
"Nino's gone," Satoshi whispers. I can feel the sadness coming off him in waves. It's too much for me. I grasp at sanity and survey the small room. Damn Kazunari for leaving, for creating this mood. I'm suffocating.

"I didn't think he would!" Aiba cries.
Satoshi wraps his arms around the man and muffles his sobs, all the while carrying his own burden.

"Where's Sakurai?" I ask.
Aiba finds some strength to point to the wooden door. Out.

As I've said, we're all in one line dragging behind Kazunari. He is now gone and Sho has followed. We three are still just desperately trying to catch up.

Q. What do you want?
A. They evade us so cunningly, I am a little annoyed by Kazunari and at the same time awed.

But up in the sky, I dream every night and Satoshi happened to reel in one of Kazunari's dreams for me.
In my nightmare, he is searching for someone. He is desperately grasping in the darkness for something tangible, for this solid person.

What are you looking for? I ask.
"Where are you?" Kazunari shouts into the emptiness.

I can feel the void. I hate this dream. I am angry at this annoying man for running away.

It is another week and we happened to be one step behind Sakurai. At last, after so many months we have finally caught up. The innkeeper last night said that he had drunk himself into a stupor and walked off. I am sure we will meet him soon.

Aiba is restless and Satoshi is surprisingly energetic. Sakurai needs to know that he is not alone.

That night, my Master fishes another dream for me to Catch. It is Kazunari's.

"Where are you?" he asks into the darkness again. He is surrounded by emptiness, as am I.
I wonder how long he's had this dream. All this time, has it kept repeating? What torture it must have been, to keep reaching and getting nowhere.

Kazunari, wake up from this nightmare, I say. But of course he doesn't hear. This man is always searching by himself because he believes there's no one there for him. We are here. Just look back. Just fall back. We will help him reach his goal. Rather, he has already found that person who will know the Answer and let him win. Why won't he accept Sakurai?

But, "Where are you SHO!?" Kazunari screams.
I wake.

That evening, we stumble onto Sakurai. Or more like he was waiting for us.
He sits calmly when we enter the crowded streets of the marketplace and there he is, leaning all alone on a stand. He is too handsome for the lady-merchant to tell off, so there he is blocking one fourth of her display.

He doesn't speak or move while Aiba hugs him tightly, out of breath and crying.

"Kazunari is looking for you," I tell him. The dreams tell me that Kazunari has finally embraced the truth. He will come back soon.

"Help me reach him," Sakurai says in a small voice, and Aiba nods his head vigorously.

I will.

What do I want? I want Satoshi to be happiest. He is everything to me. But to him Aiba must be cheerful. For Aiba to be cheerful, Sakurai must smile. And for Sho, Kazunari is his everything like Satoshi is to me.

Eventually, what do I want? I want everyone to be happy, from my Master all the way down to that brat Kazunari.

Question: Who is the GameMaster?
A. I know. It is not my place to say because I am no more than a spectator in this game.

Sometimes, in the midst of still finding Kazunari, I see Sakurai sitting off to the side watching the other two fool around. One day, I say bluntly to him because my Master and Aiba aren't listening, "You can solve the Question. All these years that you've all been traveling, you have found it on your way."

"No," he replies, not breaking his gaze. "I don't know."
"But you're getting there," I persevere. "And only fear is clouding your judgment."
Sakurai frowns and it doesn't look nice on his handsome face.

He says to me, "I am not afraid to lose. If I am gone, Masaki still has Ohno. But," there he trails off. I wait and he finally drops his gaze to the ground. "What if I win? I will surely lose Kazu then."
"You have lost him now," I tell Sakurai. "But if you don't play, you will lose him forever."

"Is Kazu really coming back?" he asks. Since we have found each other, we have been searching for Kazunari for almost a year. That little genius is extremely evasive and even I'm not sure where he is.

But, "He's coming," I assure Sakurai because I know it is true. I continue to see his dreams. For me, that is enough.

"Then if he comes back and asks it of me, if he really wants me to find that Answer for him," Sakurai starts, "I will play."

Sakurai's not an idiot.

*

OHNO SATOSHI:

Q. Why are you here?
A. For Masaki. Because it's always been only Jun-kun and me.

I like it when it's quiet. It's nice.
But at night it's always dark and I become tired. I hope it is morning soon so I won’t be alone. Everyone in this world sleeps but me. I don't need to and because of that I'm always exhausted.

But Masaki magically appeared and everything's changed.

It is night and a shadow runs past. I look around the forest clearing. The shadow pauses to look at me and then it is gone into the heart of the forest.

"Masaki," I whisper because Sakurai is asleep and I don't want to wake him. I shake Masaki.
He doesn't wake either.

I look up and Jun is resting. He's already dreaming.
"Masaki, goodnight," I say. I go out of the camp and I follow the shadow. I know who it is without even seeing. It is Nino. Nino found us after such a long time.

I haven't seen Nino in so long.

I search and look for him, but he's gone.
Will he come back? What is Nino afraid of?

In the darkness where I have lost Nino's shadow, there's a growl and a whine. Ghoul. I stop searching. Tonight, I won't be able to look for Nino. I have to go back.

Snorts. Stirring. The ghoul is awake. I climb up into a tree for safety.
In the Moonlight, it sniffs around looking for me. I hold my breath. I know I can tie it up. I can defeat it, but where would I put the ghoul? Masaki and the others are still sleeping. I don't want to disturb them.

So the untouched ghoul wails for me, knowing I'm there but unreachable. Finally frustrated, the ghoul leaves.

I see its form fade and I wonder who it could have been. Where is its family?

Just in the nick of time.
"Sato-chan!" someone's yelling in the darkness, piercing through the silence of the night. I know that voice. "Sato-chan!" The person sounds afraid.

I hope the ghoul doesn't come back.
"SATO-CHAN!"

"I'm here!" I shout.
And just like that, Masaki's at the base of the tree staring up at me. I see the glow of his eyes in the darkness. I see the tears on his face. He's been desperate. Worried. Those tears hurt.

I open my arms. He does too and I fall into them. We meet each other halfway.

Masaki hugs me tightly and I cling on, even if my feet don’t quite touch the ground.
"Don't leave me," he sobs. "I need you, Satoshi." I pat his back gently.

I won't leave. I'm here because of you, Masaki.

Q. When did you meet?
A. That night will not be the end. I will find him. I will meet Nino again. Another night, I finally take my chance. I know if I look long enough, I will find that shadow. I know Nino is here.

Tonight, I follow a stream and it leads me to a waterfall. Someone sits on a rock. I knew it. I have found him. It's just Nino and me.

I remember Nino crying. I think I'm the only one who's ever seen him cry. Nino must be crying now too because he's faced away like that. This time he's not running and he knows I'm here.
"Nino, I miss you," I tell him.
"Stupid," he says, softly.

I fill with hope. "You can come back."
He doesn't turn around. Nino sniffs and shrugs. "No, I don't know."

"Tomorrow, will you return?" I ask. We will accept him. Everyone will be happy. We have been looking for so long. All this time, we have been waiting for Nino.

"The day after tomorrow," he promises. Then he's silent and I'm silent. The water crashes on the rocks beneath the fall. It's quiet and I like it. But Nino is sad, right? This is not the time.

I already know. Sakurai hurts but he doesn't know how much Nino hurts too. I wonder if they will be okay.

"Go back to them," Nino tells me because I took too long to catch his shadow and the sun's already rising. "I won't run. I found you, didn't I?"

I believe Nino. It was him who had sought me out. We have met again and Nino has promised. I believe him so I turn and run.

Q. Where are you going?
A. There is one last destination. Nino has decided.

Well, first he lied about coming. He just likes to surprise me. Us.

Sunshine came and he didn't even wait for tomorrow or the day after. He comes out of the shade, out of the trees. Masaki and Sakurai are still sleeping. Jun-kun is appearing by the fire. Then Jun starts because he sees Nino approach. At last, right? At last, we have Nino back with us. I smile. Nino is back.

But the first thing he does is not greet Jun. He does not even greet me. Nino bends down next to sleeping Sakurai and he touches Sakurai's face.

I see magic. Just that touch and Sakurai wakes. He's startled and his eyes open wide. He must think it’s a dream.
No, it's not.

Nino smiles his small, sad smile and then Sakurai suddenly embraces him, squeezing and gasping his name. "Kazu! Kazu!" There are tears and emotion in his voice. Of happiness. Sorrow. Filled with his fears.
"Hi," Nino says quietly.

They're both together again.
I look down at Masaki still at rest. He's beautiful, Masaki is. That won't happen to us, I know. No reunion because we won't part to begin with. And if we do, I won't come back like Nino. Nino is strong and I am not.

And then Nino whispers but I can hear. "Play the Game for me, Sho. Only you can."
Sakurai doesn't say anything. He nods.

Now, it is Sakurai who has to come up with an Answer.

Time is running out. Nino says we must head to his hometown and be there on the last day. Nino's old home is where we are ending. That's the last destination, where we are going.

Q. What do you want?
A. I don't like to wish. I want to grasp what I want with my own hands. But, what if I don't dream for me? Who is it for? I can only wish then, because I can't fight for that person.

Here right now, it is a whole family we have tied down. The ghouls are screaming at our back as we leave them in the clearing.

Nino and I are tired. Sakurai carries Nino on his back and he's glad Nino needs him as much as he does.

Masaki has me by the shoulder. "Sato-chan, let me carry you!"
I shake my head. Masaki is tired too, I know. But I lean on his arm and close my eyes. I let him lead me. I trust him.

"Kazu, you can sleep," Sakurai is saying.
"No," I hear Nino reply.

It's nice that they're finally getting along, that Nino is finally nice to Sakurai.

We reach a village and we will rest there for the night.
Sakurai is unpacking silently and Masaki is eating. Jun-kun is talking to the elder and I don't know where Nino is.

I find him by the well.

"Nino," I say. "Are we close?"
He grabs some water from the bucket and instantly rinses his face. He doesn't want me to see.
"We're close," he croaks. "It's almost twenty-eight years. We're almost at my home."

Nino is crying again and only I know. "Nino," I start.
Abruptly he says, "I told Sho I will leave when he Answers."

That again. They can't be together. That's what he's telling me.
"Why?"

"Because I have found the person who will Answer for me," Nino explains. "I'll win." I don't understand.
I don't understand, Nino. "I want you two to be happy forever," I tell him.

He finally turns and I see that his eyes are red. He grins anyway and throws water at me. "Stupid. Keep your wish for Masaki and yourself."

But I can't help it. That's what I really want and I can only leave that to a wish.

Question: Who is the GameMaster?
A. I don't know, but Sakurai is trying. He's thinking quite hard. It's all in his hands now.

We are almost at Nino's old home. The Game will come to an end. This journey will come to an end. Will a new one begin? With all of us still here?

No. Nino will leave. Sakurai knows. I told Jun-kun and Jun told Masaki because he deserves to know too.
Masaki cried and he didn't say anything.

Right, Nino will leave.

Tonight, Jun-kun has already gone up to sleep. Nino and Sakurai are asleep holding each other. I sit by the fire. Masaki keeps me warm from behind. His chin's on my shoulder.

"Masaki," I say. "It will be twenty-eight soon."
"I know," he answers.
"Nino will be gone."
"I know."

"Everything will end. That means you will go back with Sakurai, right? And Nino will not be here. And Jun-kun and I will be gone."
His arms tighten around me. I don't tell him I can't breathe.

"No," he says. "I will keep traveling."
"Why?" I ask.
"Aren't you coming along?"

It must be taken for granted. I don't care. "Yeah," I say. I will go wherever Masaki goes.

"How long have you known Nino?" I ask.
"Seventeen years."
"You're lucky. I want to know Nino as long too."

"Sato-chan," Masaki suddenly asks this time. He's thinking. I wait.
Then he continues, "Sato-chan, you don't know?" Who the GameMaster is?

"I don't."
"Why is this the last Game?" he asks. "What does he really want with that Answer?"

I don't know.

No, but I do know. The GameMaster is lonely, just like how I was. And then when this Game ends, someone will know who he is. At that time even if his life is taken away, the GameMaster will be happy.

*

SAKURAI SHO:

Q. Why are you here?
A. I have been with Kazu almost eighteen years and I have heard the Question countless times. I have seen my share of those who have lost. Gradually, the Answer is coming to me but that makes me horrified. I might know who the GameMaster is. If I Answer, I will win.

I might be the only person in this world who does not want to win. I want to be with Kazu, but if I play this Game and Answer, he will be gone forever.

It's not fair that whichever path I take, Kazu will still disappear from my life. It's unfair that I can't have him.

However, he's asked for my aid and for him, I will Answer. I will do everything for Kazunari and that is why I am here.

It is morning and we are all moving towards this last destination that makes me miserable, that makes me weary. Kazu falls back so that he walks beside me. He suddenly takes my hand.

My chest squeezes. I grip his tightly. One day, soon, I will not have even this hand to hold.

Q. When did you meet?
A. I met Kazunari long ago, but not once has he ever turned back to look at me. No, we haven't met yet. Only physically. I've been following him most of my life and not once has he ever seen me truly.

This night, on our last stop before we reach the place, we sit outside the tavern of this city because Kazu no longer has the will to play his game of cards.

"It's pretty sad when money no longer matters," he says sadly on the brick pavement, yet his tone holds no remorse. "The fools inside are lucky that at the end of this night, their pockets will still be full."

He sits and I stand above him. "Kazu," I start. "Are you okay?" He may not actually be sad, but I can tell that Kazu is bitter. About what? He will have what he wants soon. What is there to sulk about?

"Sho." He stands and starts walking, pocketing his deck. "Let's go back to the inn. I have something to show you."

We reach the inn and go up to our room. Of course, Masaki and Ohno are not inside because they are probably still out. Kazunari lights a candle and sets it by the open window where Moonlight filters in.

We sit on opposite ends and I am suddenly nervous. I don' t know what he plans to do. "Kazu, what do you have to show me?"

I see that his deck is out once again. I watch as he holds up a card and begins to burn it on the candle flame.
My heart jumps. "Kazu!" I am horrified and I pull his hand away. No way!
He fights back. "Just watch!"
"What are you doing!?" His cards are his life and he's had them as long as I've known him. I know those cards have been his constant companion. He needs them.

But one by one, Kazu is burning them. One by one, the cards are turning to ashes.
My teeth clench. What is Kazu trying to show me? What is he implying? I'm almost gagging through the fumes.

Maybe he heard my silent questions.
Kazu says while not even bothering to look up, "This life, this journey will be ending soon, Sho. These cards are no longer useful to me. I want you to be my last important thing."

My eyes sting. I am crying and maybe I'm too choked to brush the tears away.
The last card burns and it withers away like how Kazu will.

He reaches up to touch my face. I grasp his hand and hold it tightly, staring at him from across the candle flame. I finally find the courage to say the words I couldn't all these years, the one I have been holding back, "Kazunari, I love you."

He smiles. "I love you too." A breeze blows in. The candle withers and dies. In this darkness, we are not lost. I know Kazunari's finally seen me. Finally.

I'm always behind you, Kazu. Always following. And yet, I also know you will still leave.

Q. Where are you going?
A. There it is on the hill, looking forlorn and lonely. The house is a wreck and the garden has overgrown. After so many years, the color of the house has faded. "My family is no longer in there," Kazunari says. "It is empty."

Just a few steps away, that is where we will end. That is where I will be going.

In two days it will be the twenty-eighth year. In two days I will finally play the Game and Kazu will be gone.
"You will take the GameMaster's life," Kazu told me. "That's our promise if I defeat him."
I know.

We camp at the foot of the hill because no one wants to go near the house, but I am overwhelmed by my feelings and I can't stay even there.

I walk into the forest to get away for a fresh breath of air.
The stream is especially pretty in the Moonlight. I sit alone and I think the riddle over. What is my Answer?

The truth is hovering on the surface and I just have to break it.
"Don't worry," Kazu had said. "When you face the GameMaster, you will know."
Why shouldn't I worry? He believes it will eventually come.

I am the only player who knows the Answer and yet it's not tangible enough for me to touch it.
Not true. I know the Answer. More like I feel it as a death grip and it's something I don't want to think about.

"Sho," a voice starts at my back. Masaki. He comes up and sits at my side, his legs dangling over into the cold water. "Sho," he begins again, "can't you wish for Kazu-chan to stay?" he asks.

Kazunari has already made my wish for me. I can't.
"Sho, you know," Masaki says even though I haven't audibly replied. "You've always been following Kazu-chan. I want my brother to do something for himself. For once. It's okay. We're all human. We're selfish."

I have always been behind Kazunari since that day I walked out of my home. I have never said my wants out loud. Can I really push forward and lead my own life this time?

"I want you to do something for yourself," he tells me. His voice is strong.

Masaki believes in me and suddenly, I know I can. I can if I believe too.
There's a future I hope to see.

Q. What do you want?
A. All my life, I've wanted many things. I'm a person with a lot of desires and it's just that no one knows. But there's one thing I want more than my life and this one they have knowledge of.

This morning, everyone's nervous. Everyone tries to act normal, but we're all lying to ourselves. It is the last day of the twenty-seventh year.

"We will be waiting. For both of you," Matsumoto says.
Masaki claps me on the shoulder and for the first time, I feel like he's really looking up to me, not just watching my back. I feel like I have become worthy of being his older brother. We're no longer just tied by blood. I can't fail.

Kazu and Ohno hug. They whisper to each other.

Then, holding hands, Kazu and I walk up to the house, just us, and we enter.
"Sho," he starts. "You don't have to say anything until the last hour."
"I know," I reply.

He releases my hand and walks away. I am left in coldness watching him from the center of the deserted home. It is empty around us. The air is stale.

I feel like I'm floundering, but then I'm on my feet and I know I should be steady. Watching Kazu's cold back, right here and now I find the strength to finally push forward on my own.
"Kazu," I start. "Kazu, turn around. I want to talk to you."
"No," he says.

I move so that I am leaning against the window. I watch him just standing there, looking lonely and lost.

It all fits and I'm no longer falling. Right now, I am stepping forward to grab what I want.
"Kazu, if I win, I also want the GameMaster’s life.”
"What about it?"
"I have the same wish as you. Everything's the same. But I have one question for you before I play the GameMaster's last Game."

This time, he does turn and we are looking at each other across the room.
"You have to play this, but Kazu, what do you want for yourself? For you?"

I have a lot of desires and there's only one that matters the most. But what does Kazunari need?

He doesn't reply and I see defiance in his eyes. He drops his gaze to the ground.

"I only need you," I tell him.
He's mumbling. I can't hear him.

Then he looks up and says, "Let's play the Game, Sho. Start."

Question: Who is the GameMaster?
Answer: "This is the GameMaster's last Game."

A voice booms in my head. It is deafening and thunderous. I flinch even as it states:
- I can create but not destroy.
- I am hot and I am cold.

Too much. Too loud. I want to cover my ears.

- I am near and also far.
- You are limbs that I move.
Who am I?

An invisible hand strangles me. I suffocate and I almost cannot speak. It is the GameMaster that's holding my life in the palm of his hand.

Across the room, Kazu is looking at me angrily. His eyes are determined and he glares into my own. "You know. You know how much I want to stay with you."
Is that what you want?
I croak out with effort, "I don't."

"You lie. I've always wanted to be with you and you know it!" He's furious.
I am too. "Then why won't you stay with me?!"

"Because I can't!" he declares. "I can't because I've promised with my life."
Through my suffocation, I make my way to him, step by step. "Promised who!?"

He clenches his eyes shut. Who am I?

I know.
I finally see it.

"You made a promise with yourself. This isn't the Last Game." I'm there before him and I reach out with heavy hands to touch his face. "The last Game is with yourself, for you to find me who will know you. Ninomiya Kazunari, you are the GameMaster. That's my Answer."

Something breaks. It sounds like glass shattering and not just here. Across the world, I and millions of others are let free.

Kazu's sobbing into his hands. The curse is gone and I can breathe.
"What do you want!?" he hisses miserably.
"I told you, I want your life." I wipe away his tears and I wrap my arms around Kazunari. "I don't want the GameMaster. I want Ninomiya Kazunari to be with me forever."

*

The ANSWER:

There are all types of Masters in this world.
And I am among those who have found stability.

The GameMaster vanished and his Last Game came to an end.

He was infamous and hated for his final Game, but even then many still wondered. To his riddle, what had been the Answer? Who had he been?

More importantly, where is the GameMaster now?

"Artemis, throw him overboard," Kazunari said, referring to the tallest among them.
"No, no, no!" Masaki shouted in horror, but Satoshi only laughed and moved closer to him.

The three of them stood on the wooden bridge overlooking the running river. All three stared down at the rushing current a few meters below their feet.
"Why are we here?" Satoshi asked quietly.
"We're waiting for Matsujun and Sho," Masaki answered.

Kazunari grinned to himself. "We're supposed to meet them up at the next town, aren't we?"
"Ehh!!?" Masaki was surprised. He stood back from the ramp. "We are!?"
Satoshi frowned. "Really?"

A laugh came from behind them. Sho threw his head back and chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Kazunari. "Stop fooling them. You already know they'll fall for anything."

Kazunari smirked at the bewildered pair, curling his hand around Sho's. "I'm still a Master, idiots."
"Sure thing," Jun said, suddenly sitting on the ramp. "So, where are we going?"

There were no more ghouls littering the fields, the forests, the streams. Everyone had a name, a self, and an identity. There were no more faceless in the world. Tentatively, the towns put down their gates and families welcomed back lost members and lovers. They wondered if it had been worth it to risk their names for a wish. So much time, so many people had been lost. After all, to achieve happiness with your own hands is the oldest and best method.

"And what do we want to do?" Sho asked from behind Kazunari.
"I just want all of us to be together. I don't care where we go," Masaki answered positively. Discreetly, he did not want to be defeated by Sho and so pulled Satoshi closer. "Wherever!"

"Let's lose him," Kazunari murmured.
Sho smiled and pretended to not know. "Who?"

His response somehow caused the latter to grin. "All right." He pushed Sho back to free himself. Kazunari jumped unto the ramp and sat down facing the rest while Jun waited to his side.

"We'll go with the response of the airhead here," he stated.
The other three turned to Masaki.

"ME!??" he screeched.
"No," Kazunari drawled. "You'll put us all in danger. The least troublesome one." He pointed to Satoshi. "Oh-chan, what do you want to do?"

This time, Satoshi blinked at all four of them rapidly. He had not expected to be called on. "Er..."

"What do you mean? He's one of the most troublesome," Sho declared.
Jun grinned but ignored him and asked his Master, "Satoshi, where do you want to go?"
"Why do I have to decide?" he returned with a question.

"For now, you'll be the leader," Kazunari explained.

Satoshi watched them staring at him, waiting on his answer, and he shrugged. "Let's walk all the way to the sea."
"WHY!?" Masaki exclaimed.
Satoshi turned to him. "Because it's fun."
Masaki thought about it. "All right! It sounds fun."

Kazunari moved in to whisper to Sho so that only the two of them heard, "Let's make a bet. I bet you Masaki will cause Oh-chan to change his mind in two days."
Sho laughed. "Another Game?"

The latter looked back at him smugly.

If you win this Game, I'll make your dream come true. I'll hug you, kiss you, and fill your ear with words of love. But if you lose, you'll have to dance for me.

And from thereon, the new set of Games began.

* * *