Comments | ninjamonkey73: All the Things Left Unsaid excerpt (part 1 redux)

ninjamonkey73

All the Things Left Unsaid excerpt (part 1 redux)

Oct 06, 2013 12:26

After some discussion on an excerpt of what I've been working on over at WriteandGripe, I made some changes that didn't fit in a comment, so I'll just post it here. This is the rewrite of my first post section there ( Read more... )

writing, all the things

Comments 4

lanalucy October 6 2013, 20:48:38 UTC

Oh, yes. YES. This rework is so much more. And still leads into the part two that you posted over there.

Excellent.

ninjamonkey73 October 6 2013, 20:53:19 UTC

Thanks!

Yeah, kdbleu is my hero! She pointed out that it seemed like I had gone against my instinct and skipped a conversation in there, and I pretty much had done just that. This feels like it fixes a lot of what I didn't love about that part. :)

ecstaticdance October 11 2013, 05:23:12 UTC

Very nice work. Good details and emotions. I'm very much with your characters here, and I want to see how their situation resolves.

ninjamonkey73 October 11 2013, 12:59:38 UTC

Thanks! I had better get on that resolution... :)