CSI:NY/BtVS.Danny/Dawn.030:Death
Title: Heroes' Fate
Series: The Dawn and Danny Chronicles
Author: nilitara
Fandom: CSI:NY, BtVS
Rating: PG
Ships: Danny/Dawn
Word Count: 1569
Summary: After Heroes (CSI:NY), Dawn finds her lover
For: crossovers100
Prompt: 030. Death.
Disclaimer: The characters are the property of their respective creator. I own nothing.
In that precise moment, she hated cemeteries more than anything else. It was a strange feeling because she spent a good part of her time in them and they usually didn’t bother her at all. Most people couldn’t stand to walk among the graves, it made them feel uneasy, a sensation they couldn’t for the life of them shake off but not her. Normally, she felt at home in the silence of the graveyard. Sometimes, she even craved the peace she felt every time she crossed the gate. Tonight was different.
It wasn’t the job that had brought her there, wasn’t chasing a demon or trying to prevent a vampire from rising from the grave. She wasn’t there to clear her head by walking through the lines either, watching the names, like she sometimes did when she didn’t feel like socializing, when she wanted to be all alone and that the only place she knew no one would follow was the middle of the cemetery. Tonight, she was there for something else entirely. Tonight, she was there for the same reason everyone came to a place like that. And it changed everything.
Dawn stepped through the gate, unable to prevent a chill from running up her spine. It was as if her body felt the cold of death, something that usually didn’t happen. Maybe part of it was also the change in temperature. It wasn’t a cold night by any stretch but she had been in Los Angeles mere hours before and the New York weather wasn’t as warm, no matter the season.
She walked silently, knowing exactly where to go without having to look especially hard. She could feel him, feel his presence. She had been able to almost since the beginning. Usually, his presence warmed her, was like a fire. He was like a fire, always having to move, having to think and full of passion. Tonight, though, it wasn’t the case. It was like the sparks that inhabited him had died down, as sure as the bodies lying underground. It filled her with an anguish she couldn’t describe.
She had known that that moment would happen one day or another. He had known it too. However, not even knowing it was coming could prepare you to what you felt when it did happen. It didn’t matter how many times she, herself, had lived through that pain, every time it happened, it was like a knife straight to the heart. Nothing you could say, you could do, would make it better. Except time.
Time healed all wounds, or that was what people always said. Dawn had found it wasn’t exactly the truth. The wounds stayed, always present, but the pain changed. It would go from overwhelming to bearable and, sometimes, you could even end up not feeling it anymore until the next time something reminded you of it and another stab would cross you. It would never heal totally, but it would get better, would let you live your life once again.
She was still walking, one foot in front of another, now seeing the blonde hair she had run her hands in so many times. She could see he was kneeling in front of a grave, a fresh grave. She couldn’t see his face, his back facing her, and he had probably not heard her yet. Normally, he would have. Normally, he would have felt her coming. But he was not there, not really, and she knew it, she understood it, better than anyone.
She stopped just behind him, not touching him, not yet. He would have to make the first move for that, because she knew it had to be that way. She hated it when people tried to touch her, to comfort her, at times like this. At least, before she asked for it. It was something she couldn’t bear and she wasn’t going to subject him to that. He had to know she was there though.
“Danny,” she whispered, hesitant for once to break the silence of the atmosphere.
He startled slightly and turned his head. His eyes were brimming with tears yet unshed and his glasses laid in his hand, which accentuated the sadness, the despair, she could see in it. She had to control her own emotion because her heart was breaking for him at this sight.
“Dawn?” he murmured, his voice hoarse, like broken, from the sorrow. “I thought you had to stay in LA?”
He was right, of course. She had told him so the moment she left New York the last time. But none of the obligation she had had mattered when he had called her to tell her what had happened. She couldn’t let him face it alone and she knew he would stay away from his colleague to mourn. It hadn’t been a difficult choice to make; it had been the easiest ever. She had told the others she was going, not explaining, not letting them argue, and had jumped on the first flight to the Big Apple.
“You’re more important than that,” she stated. “You’re more important than anything to me.”
She kneeled beside him in front of the grave and read the name, ‘Aiden Burn’, written in golden letters on the stone. She had never actually met her. Danny and she had kept their relationship hidden from the people in his life. There would have been too many questions without answers, too many things they couldn’t explain and, when you were surrounded by people like detectives and scientists, they would never be able to accept it. But she had heard enough about her to know that Danny considered her his closest friend.
“I’m sorry,” she told him, his voice laced with sadness, knowing how much it had too hurt and how useless the words were.
Still, it seemed to be more than enough to break the dam and Danny’s shoulder began to tremble. He still tried to reign in his tears but it was no use and the droplets began to run down his face. He turned to her totally and leaned down to hide his face against her neck.
She let her arms come around his back and held him to her, not saying anything because nothing she could have done would have changed a damn thing and she had way to much experience in that domain to believe anything else. She felt her own tears wet her face, as if there was so much pain in Danny that his eyes weren’t enough to shed everything and he needed her for that too. She hadn’t even noticed she was rocking them softly, too absorbed by the man in her arms, too overwhelmed by his sorrow.
He was talking now, broken sentences in between the sobs that were rocking his body. He was telling her she hadn’t deserved that, she shouldn’t have had to work alone, she shouldn’t have died and what was there left to say to that except:
“I know, Danny. I know. It’s unfair.”
She paused because she didn’t know if she should go on or is she should just shut up. But she couldn’t, she had to talk.
“But she died a hero. She fought for justice to be made, she fought so a girl could find her peace and in the end, she succeeded. Thanks to her, there’s a bastard less in the streets. Thanks to her, that poor girl can finally begin to live once again, trying to rebuild her life. It’s unfair that Aiden had to leave, but she’s in a good place now. She’s in heaven because people like her, that’s where they go. And she can still see you, watch over you. She will always be with you, looking down here and help you. You just have to let her.”
She knew it was the truth. Buffy had seen that heaven existed and she had told them how good it had been, how at peace she felt when she was looking to them and saw they were safe. She knew Aiden was not a Champion, not for the Powers, but she also knew that she was a good person and that there was no reason for her to anywhere else. Death had never been an end in her world.
She felt Danny nod against her shoulder and his sobs began to ease. He was far from fine but she knew in that instant, when he finally lifted his head to look at her, that he would be. It was written in his eyes. She brushed gently her fingers again his cheeks, erasing the tear tracks and gave him a watery smile, sad but true.
“It’s time to say goodbye,” he said in a whisper, like his voice had deserted him at the same time as his tears.
Dawn nodded and she got up, taking Danny’s had in hers and not letting go, even after the both of them were up and looking down at the grave.
“Goodbye Aiden,” he said, looking straight at the stone. “I’ll miss you.”
A slight gush of wind flew in their hair and they knew she had heard and answered. It was time for them to leave now, she was saying, and to live. Both of them obeyed and left the cemetery without a backward glance, their heart still heavy with sorrow but knowing that tomorrow would be another day.
Series: The Dawn and Danny Chronicles
Author: nilitara
Fandom: CSI:NY, BtVS
Rating: PG
Ships: Danny/Dawn
Word Count: 1569
Summary: After Heroes (CSI:NY), Dawn finds her lover
For: crossovers100
Prompt: 030. Death.
Disclaimer: The characters are the property of their respective creator. I own nothing.
In that precise moment, she hated cemeteries more than anything else. It was a strange feeling because she spent a good part of her time in them and they usually didn’t bother her at all. Most people couldn’t stand to walk among the graves, it made them feel uneasy, a sensation they couldn’t for the life of them shake off but not her. Normally, she felt at home in the silence of the graveyard. Sometimes, she even craved the peace she felt every time she crossed the gate. Tonight was different.
It wasn’t the job that had brought her there, wasn’t chasing a demon or trying to prevent a vampire from rising from the grave. She wasn’t there to clear her head by walking through the lines either, watching the names, like she sometimes did when she didn’t feel like socializing, when she wanted to be all alone and that the only place she knew no one would follow was the middle of the cemetery. Tonight, she was there for something else entirely. Tonight, she was there for the same reason everyone came to a place like that. And it changed everything.
Dawn stepped through the gate, unable to prevent a chill from running up her spine. It was as if her body felt the cold of death, something that usually didn’t happen. Maybe part of it was also the change in temperature. It wasn’t a cold night by any stretch but she had been in Los Angeles mere hours before and the New York weather wasn’t as warm, no matter the season.
She walked silently, knowing exactly where to go without having to look especially hard. She could feel him, feel his presence. She had been able to almost since the beginning. Usually, his presence warmed her, was like a fire. He was like a fire, always having to move, having to think and full of passion. Tonight, though, it wasn’t the case. It was like the sparks that inhabited him had died down, as sure as the bodies lying underground. It filled her with an anguish she couldn’t describe.
She had known that that moment would happen one day or another. He had known it too. However, not even knowing it was coming could prepare you to what you felt when it did happen. It didn’t matter how many times she, herself, had lived through that pain, every time it happened, it was like a knife straight to the heart. Nothing you could say, you could do, would make it better. Except time.
Time healed all wounds, or that was what people always said. Dawn had found it wasn’t exactly the truth. The wounds stayed, always present, but the pain changed. It would go from overwhelming to bearable and, sometimes, you could even end up not feeling it anymore until the next time something reminded you of it and another stab would cross you. It would never heal totally, but it would get better, would let you live your life once again.
She was still walking, one foot in front of another, now seeing the blonde hair she had run her hands in so many times. She could see he was kneeling in front of a grave, a fresh grave. She couldn’t see his face, his back facing her, and he had probably not heard her yet. Normally, he would have. Normally, he would have felt her coming. But he was not there, not really, and she knew it, she understood it, better than anyone.
She stopped just behind him, not touching him, not yet. He would have to make the first move for that, because she knew it had to be that way. She hated it when people tried to touch her, to comfort her, at times like this. At least, before she asked for it. It was something she couldn’t bear and she wasn’t going to subject him to that. He had to know she was there though.
“Danny,” she whispered, hesitant for once to break the silence of the atmosphere.
He startled slightly and turned his head. His eyes were brimming with tears yet unshed and his glasses laid in his hand, which accentuated the sadness, the despair, she could see in it. She had to control her own emotion because her heart was breaking for him at this sight.
“Dawn?” he murmured, his voice hoarse, like broken, from the sorrow. “I thought you had to stay in LA?”
He was right, of course. She had told him so the moment she left New York the last time. But none of the obligation she had had mattered when he had called her to tell her what had happened. She couldn’t let him face it alone and she knew he would stay away from his colleague to mourn. It hadn’t been a difficult choice to make; it had been the easiest ever. She had told the others she was going, not explaining, not letting them argue, and had jumped on the first flight to the Big Apple.
“You’re more important than that,” she stated. “You’re more important than anything to me.”
She kneeled beside him in front of the grave and read the name, ‘Aiden Burn’, written in golden letters on the stone. She had never actually met her. Danny and she had kept their relationship hidden from the people in his life. There would have been too many questions without answers, too many things they couldn’t explain and, when you were surrounded by people like detectives and scientists, they would never be able to accept it. But she had heard enough about her to know that Danny considered her his closest friend.
“I’m sorry,” she told him, his voice laced with sadness, knowing how much it had too hurt and how useless the words were.
Still, it seemed to be more than enough to break the dam and Danny’s shoulder began to tremble. He still tried to reign in his tears but it was no use and the droplets began to run down his face. He turned to her totally and leaned down to hide his face against her neck.
She let her arms come around his back and held him to her, not saying anything because nothing she could have done would have changed a damn thing and she had way to much experience in that domain to believe anything else. She felt her own tears wet her face, as if there was so much pain in Danny that his eyes weren’t enough to shed everything and he needed her for that too. She hadn’t even noticed she was rocking them softly, too absorbed by the man in her arms, too overwhelmed by his sorrow.
He was talking now, broken sentences in between the sobs that were rocking his body. He was telling her she hadn’t deserved that, she shouldn’t have had to work alone, she shouldn’t have died and what was there left to say to that except:
“I know, Danny. I know. It’s unfair.”
She paused because she didn’t know if she should go on or is she should just shut up. But she couldn’t, she had to talk.
“But she died a hero. She fought for justice to be made, she fought so a girl could find her peace and in the end, she succeeded. Thanks to her, there’s a bastard less in the streets. Thanks to her, that poor girl can finally begin to live once again, trying to rebuild her life. It’s unfair that Aiden had to leave, but she’s in a good place now. She’s in heaven because people like her, that’s where they go. And she can still see you, watch over you. She will always be with you, looking down here and help you. You just have to let her.”
She knew it was the truth. Buffy had seen that heaven existed and she had told them how good it had been, how at peace she felt when she was looking to them and saw they were safe. She knew Aiden was not a Champion, not for the Powers, but she also knew that she was a good person and that there was no reason for her to anywhere else. Death had never been an end in her world.
She felt Danny nod against her shoulder and his sobs began to ease. He was far from fine but she knew in that instant, when he finally lifted his head to look at her, that he would be. It was written in his eyes. She brushed gently her fingers again his cheeks, erasing the tear tracks and gave him a watery smile, sad but true.
“It’s time to say goodbye,” he said in a whisper, like his voice had deserted him at the same time as his tears.
Dawn nodded and she got up, taking Danny’s had in hers and not letting go, even after the both of them were up and looking down at the grave.
“Goodbye Aiden,” he said, looking straight at the stone. “I’ll miss you.”
A slight gush of wind flew in their hair and they knew she had heard and answered. It was time for them to leave now, she was saying, and to live. Both of them obeyed and left the cemetery without a backward glance, their heart still heavy with sorrow but knowing that tomorrow would be another day.