Fake Empire 11
Title: Fake Empire 11
Author: Alsike
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: X-Men/Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss, other Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men or Criminal Minds. I owe wizened_cynic for the concept of quantum babies. She does it much better than me. Title stolen from the song by The National.
Apologies: Happy Thanksgiving (to all the savage americans out there)! As I am alone eating brussels sprouts, I will attempt some vicarious joy by providing fic. Happy(ish) Didi fic too! Hopefully it will wash any bad tastes left from Captive out of people's mouths.
This one comes not long before Places out of Time, which is followed a little later by Everyday Fiascoes.
Fake Empire 1 (Queen Emma)
Fake Empire 2 (JJ's Part)
Fake Empire 3 (Emily's Part)
Fake Empire 4 (The Mansion)
Fake Empire 5 (Kyougen)
Fake Empire 6 (Morning)
Fake Emipire 7 (Mostly Emma's)
Fake Empire 8 (JJ goes off the deep end)
Fake Empire 9 (Back to work)
Fake Empire 10 (Visitors)
Somehow, Jubilee managed to settle in with a minimal amount of fuss.
JJ was wary at first:
“A mutant babysitter?”
“She’s a good kid. A graduate student. And…” Emily considered whether it would be a good idea to reveal what she had seen, and then decided to do it anyway. “She has martial arts training. They’d be safe.”
JJ cast a wary eye over her the first few times she’d deposited Henry in her care, but with a grin and a repeatedly happy, uninjured charge, Jubilee won her over.
Didi was a bit more of a challenge:
“You can’t tell me what to do. My mother’s a Duchess.”
“Well, I’m the Grand High Royal Chancellor, and if you don’t do as I say, I’ll throw you in prison!”
“Prison?”
“And they’ll give you the tickle torture!” The Grand High Royal Chancellor advanced on the helpless princess, and Didi shrieked and ran away.
But it was Emily who had the hardest time finding a balance with Jubilee. She got in late sometimes, and would check on Didi who was usually in bed and asleep by then, and then peeked in at Jubilee, up, at her computer, reading articles or writing papers.
“Things going okay?”
Jubilee looked up. She looked tired, worn down by a long week and too much to do, and she opened her mouth, as if to speak, and then she shut it, and looked away, a bitter expression crossing her face.
Emily flinched. She took a step into the room. “Jubilee, are you-“
“I’m fine,” she said, but her voice cracked. “I’m just tired. And you’re not my mom.”
Emily stilled. “I’m not trying to be,” she said, carefully. “But if Didi’s too much work and you can’t get things done-“
“No.” Jubilee sighed. “Didi’s fine. She’s really good at entertaining herself actually, much better than I was at her age. It was just a sort of brutal week.”
Emily laughed softly and sat down on her bed. “Tell me about it.”
Jubilee snorted. “You were chasing serial killers.”
“Actually, this week it was a kidnapper, who would snatch women and all their underwear, then make them pose for him to take pictures of. It was… depressing, the depths we can sink to.”
Jubilee cocked her head. “There’s a paper in that, I think.”
Emily grinned. “Did I help?”
“Maybe.” Jubilee gave her a considering look. “I like this,” she said, suddenly. “I like… I like us being friends.”
“I do too.”
Jubilee took a breath. It seemed to stick a bit in her chest. “It’s just- You care about people. And it’s probably how you managed to get through to Frosty, of all people, but it’s hard for me. I see you with Didi, and you’re there if she needs a hug, and you do mom things. You make things better for her.”
Emily blinked. “I do?”
Jubilee snorted in incredulity. “You really- you don’t know?” She wiped her eyes, and then sniffed, and looked away. “You do. And… I miss that. But, you know, I think the only reason Frosty got through to me, and Wolvie too, was because they didn’t care. They were cool, and untouchable, and they were totally looking out for me, and wanting to make me better and smarter and stronger. But, well, they didn’t do hugs.” She barked an involuntary laugh. “And everyone who did hugs for me, who tried, ended up dying or betraying me or some crap like that. I just got sick of it. And when someone like you looks at me like that-“
She didn’t say anything else, but Emily could fill in the rest.
“I’m not your mom,” Emily said quietly. “But, you know, if I don’t look after you, Emma will have my head. And I really want you to be able to come to me if you’re having a problem, or if you need time off, even if you just want to hang out with friends or go to a party. Or, if you need to bounce paper topics off a brick wall for a while. I’m just… I’m here. And, I’m not totally comfortable with being a, uh, a parent at all. So I won’t give you, uh, parent hugs, but if you need a friend hug, I’m okay with that.”
Jubilee smiled, wiping her face on the back of her hand. “You can’t say it at all, can you?”
“Say what?”
“You’re someone’s mom.”
Emily’s face reddened. “I-“
“Dude. Just say it. I’m Didi’s mom.”
Emily covered her face, embarrassed and completely unable to form the words. “Oh god.”
Jubilee laughed. “We’ll work on it, okay?” She moved to the bed and patted Emily on the back. “And, I’m down for that friends’ hug now, if that’s still cool.”
* * *
And thus the spring progressed very well.
Garcia, who thought that Jubilee was the best thing since sliced pepperoni, as long as she stayed well away from her computers, picked up the slack when Jubilee was desperately trying to write four fifteen page papers in three weeks. But her semester ended, thankfully before Didi and Henry’s school stopped meeting, and the three of them spent the next few weeks rampaging through all the parks, the national zoo, every kid-friendly museum, and probably a million times around the carousel on the mall. By the end of it, Didi and Henry had named every horse, and most of the sleighs too.
And then it was summer.
“Jubilee,” Emily called her. “You know, if you want to make summer plans, you can get on it. Emma said she was taking Didi for the summer, and if you want to get out of town, or take a class or something-“
Jubilee grinned. “I was thinking about heading out to California for a few weeks. See Nini, go to the beach.” She made a less than pleased expression. “Make Nini teach me German.” She looked at Emily for a moment though, a slightly confused expression on her face. “I guess I’ll talk to Frosty though, see what her plans are, just to get the scheduling right.”
Emily winced at her expression. She felt just as strange about the trading off. Technically it was fair, but none of this was really fair, was it?
* * *
When Emily got home, as she unlocked the door, she could hear Deirdre’s squeals coming from behind it. She shook her head, expecting to see Jubilee leading a new game that involved climbing up precarious furniture and scattering toys like caltrops throughout the length of her apartment.
But when the door opened, Jubilee was nowhere to be seen. Instead a mussed Emma was lying on the floor, her feet on the sofa, and Didi sitting on her stomach.
Emma, alerted by the sound of the door, propped herself up on her elbow and grinned at Emily’s stunned expression. Her ponytail had slid unevenly to the side and was coming loose. She was wearing faded jeans and her shirt had ridden up. Emily quickly swallowed and set down her bag.
Didi slid off Emma, ran to her and hugged her leg, pulling her into the room.
“Mommy! Look, M’ma’s home!”
The electric look that shot between them was blatant, but Emma smiled, lazy and composed, and Emily relaxed.
“Yes she is. Did she pick you up from school?”
Didi nodded. “I made a picture at school today! I go get it!”
Emily looked down. Emma had shuffled around and was leaning her shoulders against the couch, looking incredibly at ease. It was a strong contrast to the way Emily was feeling right now. Seeing Emma like this was… surprising, but knowing what she was here for was worse. And it seemed like she was completely ignorant of why Emily ought to be upset. Emily was desperately trying not to throw it at her mentally, but she was pretty sure she was not shielding successfully enough for Emma to be this oblivious.
“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming to get her until the fifth.” Emily felt bad about the roughness of her words, but she hadn’t realized how she would feel when Emma came to take Didi away.
Emma stiffened slightly, her eyes widened and Emily felt that calming contact. “I finished my grading early. It’s amazing what incentive can do.”
“Yeah.” Emily wouldn’t meet her eyes. Emma had picked up on the mood and was sharp and sarcastic. “Where’s Jubilee?”
“She had a party or something that she wanted to go to.”
Emily nodded. “So when are you planning on leaving?”
“I-“ Emma frowned.
Something almost like hope twisted in Emily’s stomach. “You’re taking Didi back to the school, aren’t you?”
Emma grimaced. “I’m not exactly enthusiastic about facing the grade-grubbers and Dudley-do-rights right away.”
“Are-” She didn’t want to stutter. “Are you going to stay here?”
Emma looked uncomfortable. “For the whole summer? I said I’d give you a break.”
“For a week?”
“I suppose a week would be manageable.” Emma seemed tense and ambivalent.
And yet, Emily couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t going to be a complete trade-off after all.
Emma looked at her face and shook her head at the lopsided grin. “You look like an idiot when you smile like that.”
Emily just smiled wider. Emma kicked out and got her in a leg lock, knocking her down. Emily fell over her, straddling her on her hands and knees. Emma pulled her in, hands firm on her shoulders, and paused, so close that Emily could feel her breath on her lips, but she didn’t kiss her. Slowly, Emily settled herself into her lap, running her thumbs over Emma’s hairline, pushing back the stray strands that had escaped from the ponytail.
And they fell to each other’s mouths.
“Mom! You’re in my spot!”
They broke apart laughing and Emily swung her leg over to sit on Emma’s lap crossways.
“How about you sit here?” She patted her lap.
Deirdre looked suspicious but climbed up. Emma perked up and tried to struggle. “Hey! Wait!”
Eventually they got settled, Emma bearing the brunt of the weight. Didi showed them her pile of pictures.
“Teacher said we had to draw the story of our life as far back as we know. Benji said he was a pro-basketball player when he was two, but he was lying. I didn’t lie on mine.”
The first picture was of three yellow boxes, the center one with something that could be a window drawn into it with three large figures, and one small one, likely Didi herself. Didi took a deep breath, and started narrating.
“When I was born I lived in a big building high up over Hammer Bay in Genosha, with Mommy, M’ma and my JJ. I wasn’t allowed to go to school or go downstairs or ride the trains, because it was too dangerous.”
She switched to the next picture, which was a lot of red and orange scribbles, with black and brown scribbles filling in the corners.
“But one day my Mommy and M’ma brought me to a scary place with a scary lady and I walked through a dark cave. I was frightened, but Mommy was waiting for me on the other side.
The third picture was very complicated and mostly unrecognizable. There were three or four buildings, all of distinct shapes: one square, one tall and rectangular, and the third wide and rectangular with a pointed roof in the middle, and clusters of stick figures were gathered outside. One was upside down in a yellow coat. It was probably Jubilee.
“Now I live in a different tall building high up over Washington DC with Mommy and Jubilee. M’ma lives in a big school far away, full of cool people, but Mommy lets me call her lots. JJ lives in a real house with Henry, my best friend, and Will, his big brother. I see them every Saturday. I miss my old house, but I love school and Jubilee and Henry so I’m not sad, even though I don’t get to see M’ma and JJ so much.”
Didi swiveled in Emily’s lap and hugged Emma. “But you’re here now! Are you going to stay?”
Emma met Emily’s eyes with a wry expression. << Was this why you wanted me to stay? >> “For a while at least.” She threaded her fingers through Didi’s hair. “You’ll be with me for the whole summer though, is that okay?”
<< She can be very convincing. >>
“I want M’ma to come home. But the summer’s okay for now.”
Didi curled up into a ball. Emily leaned half against the couch, half against Emma, and busied herself straightening out Emma’s hair. “How have things been going at work?”
Emma tensed a little at the casual touching, but she breathed out, looping one arm around Emily’s waist, and the other around Deirdre. “Oh, fine. At least, once I realized I had to go out in the hall whenever my phone rang. Having the entire room fall silent and stare just because I smiled is not an experience I would like to repeat.”
“She’s making you soft.”
“I think I was talking to you at the time.”
“You are soft.”
Emma tipped her head and kissed her throat, then left a little nip with her teeth. “You should know, seeing that my legs are being crushed beneath you.”
“Totally soft.” Emily leaned in and kissed her, enjoying the added height. Emma engaged in the skirmish.
Didi crushed between them, squirmed. “You’re being boring now!”
They ordered take-out and ate on the sofa, watching the Aristocats.
Emma made snide comments about its faux-proletariat ideology. Emily smacked her and when that didn’t work, kissed her to shut her up. As that had been the intent of the commentary, there were no complaints ensuing.
They put Didi to bed, Emma lay next to her while Emily read, and Didi clung to Emma’s arm as if she were terrified that she’d leave. She finally dropped off near the end of the second chapter of Five Children and It. Emily marked the place, Emma disengaged her arm, and they slipped out, closing the door behind them.
And everything was awkward again. Emily felt the tension like a third rail running through Emma’s head and right into her. She turned, looking at her. “You can stay as long as you want. You know that, right? Spending time with both of you is really not a chore. And Jubilee does most of the work. You don’t need to act as my relief.”
“So you don’t need me then.”
Emily whirled. “What? Don’t- didn’t you hear her? She’s been waiting for you to come for months. And I don’t need you to take her away. I just want you to come home.”
“Don’t say that!” Emma snapped, and Emily flinched away from the venom.
“Do you not want to be here? I know it’s been a while, but you used to just show up and spread out over the whole apartment. Is it so different now?”
“Yes, it is.”
Emily looked away. “You don’t want to be here when I’m here?”
“Stop being stupid,” Emma hissed.
“I’m not being stupid! What am I supposed to think? You’ll talk about nothing on the phone with her for an hour, but you want to get away from me as soon as possible.”
“It isn’t you. It’s… this. God.” She turned, her face contorting. “I cut all ties with you because you knew me too well, and it was disgusting to be so reliant on you, and now there’s that… creature, and she embodies everything I was running from, multiplied.”
“If she’s the one who scares you, why are you running from me?”
“I don’t want to have to care about her.”
“You always care.” Emily shook her head. “Jubilee taught me that.”
“Is that why it rips me up when she asks me to come home? This isn’t home. It isn’t!”
“What is?”
Emma turned and glared. “Shut up.”
“Don’t get pissed at me! I just asked an honest question! So tell me, the school? One of your penthouses? Where you grew up?”
“You know where my last home was. You dug me out of it!”
Emily froze. “Emma…” She was pulling away, into that look that Emily knew too well and had hoped to never see again. She reached out, but Emma jerked away.
“Don’t! Don’t speak to me in that tone. Don’t try to placate me! I can’t rely on you!”
Emily caught her hands and pulled them in, placing them on her waist. “I’m here now,” she said. “All we can have is now.”
Emma pressed her forehead against Emily’s shoulder. “I hate your job.”
“I know. I hate yours.”
“What if…”
“She said it. She has JJ and Jubilee and Henry. She’s not alone.”
“I would make a deal with the devil if it meant I could keep you forever.”
“The devil cheats.”
“So do I.”
Emily stepped back and gave her an odd look.
“What?”
She laughed quietly and pressed her lips to Emma’s forehead, standing on her toes to do so. “I love it when you have the arrogance to challenge various divinities.” She sighed, and leaned into her. “Then why won’t you stay?”
“I don’t want to get used to being here with you.” Her hands were tightly clasped on her waist. “Do you remember when you told me that you didn’t want to see me, because it made you imagine things that only hurt more when you realized they were false?”
“Oh,” Emily said. She remembered. It had been irrational, she knew that at the time, but it didn’t help when Emma would take her to parties, and annoy her friends, and then come home with her, and then she would leave and Emily wouldn’t know when, if ever, she would see her again. It felt worse than if she had never come at all.
“But…” Emma murmured in her ear. “I have a summer house, with a lake and that sort of thing. I haven’t been there in… a decade. If you could find some time off?”
“You’d want me there?”
“It’s much less boring with built in sex.”
Emily snorted. “True enough.” And it would be different enough to be anomalous, not build habits or expectations. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Emma looked at her, her eyes open in that way that meant it wasn’t just her eyes. Emily reached out and touched. It was bitterly familiar, but warm. Emma bent her head and kissed her, warm and chaste, and the touch of her lips still burnt. Emily leaned into her, resting her head on her shoulder, trying to control her shaking. Emma’s hands, warm and stable on her waist, made it hard to breathe.
But she recovered eventually. “Come on,” she said, tugging on Emma’s hand and pulling her down the hall. “I think someone promised me a bath a few months ago, and I intend to collect.”
Author: Alsike
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: X-Men/Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss, other Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men or Criminal Minds. I owe wizened_cynic for the concept of quantum babies. She does it much better than me. Title stolen from the song by The National.
Apologies: Happy Thanksgiving (to all the savage americans out there)! As I am alone eating brussels sprouts, I will attempt some vicarious joy by providing fic. Happy(ish) Didi fic too! Hopefully it will wash any bad tastes left from Captive out of people's mouths.
This one comes not long before Places out of Time, which is followed a little later by Everyday Fiascoes.
Fake Empire 1 (Queen Emma)
Fake Empire 2 (JJ's Part)
Fake Empire 3 (Emily's Part)
Fake Empire 4 (The Mansion)
Fake Empire 5 (Kyougen)
Fake Empire 6 (Morning)
Fake Emipire 7 (Mostly Emma's)
Fake Empire 8 (JJ goes off the deep end)
Fake Empire 9 (Back to work)
Fake Empire 10 (Visitors)
Somehow, Jubilee managed to settle in with a minimal amount of fuss.
JJ was wary at first:
“A mutant babysitter?”
“She’s a good kid. A graduate student. And…” Emily considered whether it would be a good idea to reveal what she had seen, and then decided to do it anyway. “She has martial arts training. They’d be safe.”
JJ cast a wary eye over her the first few times she’d deposited Henry in her care, but with a grin and a repeatedly happy, uninjured charge, Jubilee won her over.
Didi was a bit more of a challenge:
“You can’t tell me what to do. My mother’s a Duchess.”
“Well, I’m the Grand High Royal Chancellor, and if you don’t do as I say, I’ll throw you in prison!”
“Prison?”
“And they’ll give you the tickle torture!” The Grand High Royal Chancellor advanced on the helpless princess, and Didi shrieked and ran away.
But it was Emily who had the hardest time finding a balance with Jubilee. She got in late sometimes, and would check on Didi who was usually in bed and asleep by then, and then peeked in at Jubilee, up, at her computer, reading articles or writing papers.
“Things going okay?”
Jubilee looked up. She looked tired, worn down by a long week and too much to do, and she opened her mouth, as if to speak, and then she shut it, and looked away, a bitter expression crossing her face.
Emily flinched. She took a step into the room. “Jubilee, are you-“
“I’m fine,” she said, but her voice cracked. “I’m just tired. And you’re not my mom.”
Emily stilled. “I’m not trying to be,” she said, carefully. “But if Didi’s too much work and you can’t get things done-“
“No.” Jubilee sighed. “Didi’s fine. She’s really good at entertaining herself actually, much better than I was at her age. It was just a sort of brutal week.”
Emily laughed softly and sat down on her bed. “Tell me about it.”
Jubilee snorted. “You were chasing serial killers.”
“Actually, this week it was a kidnapper, who would snatch women and all their underwear, then make them pose for him to take pictures of. It was… depressing, the depths we can sink to.”
Jubilee cocked her head. “There’s a paper in that, I think.”
Emily grinned. “Did I help?”
“Maybe.” Jubilee gave her a considering look. “I like this,” she said, suddenly. “I like… I like us being friends.”
“I do too.”
Jubilee took a breath. It seemed to stick a bit in her chest. “It’s just- You care about people. And it’s probably how you managed to get through to Frosty, of all people, but it’s hard for me. I see you with Didi, and you’re there if she needs a hug, and you do mom things. You make things better for her.”
Emily blinked. “I do?”
Jubilee snorted in incredulity. “You really- you don’t know?” She wiped her eyes, and then sniffed, and looked away. “You do. And… I miss that. But, you know, I think the only reason Frosty got through to me, and Wolvie too, was because they didn’t care. They were cool, and untouchable, and they were totally looking out for me, and wanting to make me better and smarter and stronger. But, well, they didn’t do hugs.” She barked an involuntary laugh. “And everyone who did hugs for me, who tried, ended up dying or betraying me or some crap like that. I just got sick of it. And when someone like you looks at me like that-“
She didn’t say anything else, but Emily could fill in the rest.
“I’m not your mom,” Emily said quietly. “But, you know, if I don’t look after you, Emma will have my head. And I really want you to be able to come to me if you’re having a problem, or if you need time off, even if you just want to hang out with friends or go to a party. Or, if you need to bounce paper topics off a brick wall for a while. I’m just… I’m here. And, I’m not totally comfortable with being a, uh, a parent at all. So I won’t give you, uh, parent hugs, but if you need a friend hug, I’m okay with that.”
Jubilee smiled, wiping her face on the back of her hand. “You can’t say it at all, can you?”
“Say what?”
“You’re someone’s mom.”
Emily’s face reddened. “I-“
“Dude. Just say it. I’m Didi’s mom.”
Emily covered her face, embarrassed and completely unable to form the words. “Oh god.”
Jubilee laughed. “We’ll work on it, okay?” She moved to the bed and patted Emily on the back. “And, I’m down for that friends’ hug now, if that’s still cool.”
* * *
And thus the spring progressed very well.
Garcia, who thought that Jubilee was the best thing since sliced pepperoni, as long as she stayed well away from her computers, picked up the slack when Jubilee was desperately trying to write four fifteen page papers in three weeks. But her semester ended, thankfully before Didi and Henry’s school stopped meeting, and the three of them spent the next few weeks rampaging through all the parks, the national zoo, every kid-friendly museum, and probably a million times around the carousel on the mall. By the end of it, Didi and Henry had named every horse, and most of the sleighs too.
And then it was summer.
“Jubilee,” Emily called her. “You know, if you want to make summer plans, you can get on it. Emma said she was taking Didi for the summer, and if you want to get out of town, or take a class or something-“
Jubilee grinned. “I was thinking about heading out to California for a few weeks. See Nini, go to the beach.” She made a less than pleased expression. “Make Nini teach me German.” She looked at Emily for a moment though, a slightly confused expression on her face. “I guess I’ll talk to Frosty though, see what her plans are, just to get the scheduling right.”
Emily winced at her expression. She felt just as strange about the trading off. Technically it was fair, but none of this was really fair, was it?
* * *
When Emily got home, as she unlocked the door, she could hear Deirdre’s squeals coming from behind it. She shook her head, expecting to see Jubilee leading a new game that involved climbing up precarious furniture and scattering toys like caltrops throughout the length of her apartment.
But when the door opened, Jubilee was nowhere to be seen. Instead a mussed Emma was lying on the floor, her feet on the sofa, and Didi sitting on her stomach.
Emma, alerted by the sound of the door, propped herself up on her elbow and grinned at Emily’s stunned expression. Her ponytail had slid unevenly to the side and was coming loose. She was wearing faded jeans and her shirt had ridden up. Emily quickly swallowed and set down her bag.
Didi slid off Emma, ran to her and hugged her leg, pulling her into the room.
“Mommy! Look, M’ma’s home!”
The electric look that shot between them was blatant, but Emma smiled, lazy and composed, and Emily relaxed.
“Yes she is. Did she pick you up from school?”
Didi nodded. “I made a picture at school today! I go get it!”
Emily looked down. Emma had shuffled around and was leaning her shoulders against the couch, looking incredibly at ease. It was a strong contrast to the way Emily was feeling right now. Seeing Emma like this was… surprising, but knowing what she was here for was worse. And it seemed like she was completely ignorant of why Emily ought to be upset. Emily was desperately trying not to throw it at her mentally, but she was pretty sure she was not shielding successfully enough for Emma to be this oblivious.
“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming to get her until the fifth.” Emily felt bad about the roughness of her words, but she hadn’t realized how she would feel when Emma came to take Didi away.
Emma stiffened slightly, her eyes widened and Emily felt that calming contact. “I finished my grading early. It’s amazing what incentive can do.”
“Yeah.” Emily wouldn’t meet her eyes. Emma had picked up on the mood and was sharp and sarcastic. “Where’s Jubilee?”
“She had a party or something that she wanted to go to.”
Emily nodded. “So when are you planning on leaving?”
“I-“ Emma frowned.
Something almost like hope twisted in Emily’s stomach. “You’re taking Didi back to the school, aren’t you?”
Emma grimaced. “I’m not exactly enthusiastic about facing the grade-grubbers and Dudley-do-rights right away.”
“Are-” She didn’t want to stutter. “Are you going to stay here?”
Emma looked uncomfortable. “For the whole summer? I said I’d give you a break.”
“For a week?”
“I suppose a week would be manageable.” Emma seemed tense and ambivalent.
And yet, Emily couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t going to be a complete trade-off after all.
Emma looked at her face and shook her head at the lopsided grin. “You look like an idiot when you smile like that.”
Emily just smiled wider. Emma kicked out and got her in a leg lock, knocking her down. Emily fell over her, straddling her on her hands and knees. Emma pulled her in, hands firm on her shoulders, and paused, so close that Emily could feel her breath on her lips, but she didn’t kiss her. Slowly, Emily settled herself into her lap, running her thumbs over Emma’s hairline, pushing back the stray strands that had escaped from the ponytail.
And they fell to each other’s mouths.
“Mom! You’re in my spot!”
They broke apart laughing and Emily swung her leg over to sit on Emma’s lap crossways.
“How about you sit here?” She patted her lap.
Deirdre looked suspicious but climbed up. Emma perked up and tried to struggle. “Hey! Wait!”
Eventually they got settled, Emma bearing the brunt of the weight. Didi showed them her pile of pictures.
“Teacher said we had to draw the story of our life as far back as we know. Benji said he was a pro-basketball player when he was two, but he was lying. I didn’t lie on mine.”
The first picture was of three yellow boxes, the center one with something that could be a window drawn into it with three large figures, and one small one, likely Didi herself. Didi took a deep breath, and started narrating.
“When I was born I lived in a big building high up over Hammer Bay in Genosha, with Mommy, M’ma and my JJ. I wasn’t allowed to go to school or go downstairs or ride the trains, because it was too dangerous.”
She switched to the next picture, which was a lot of red and orange scribbles, with black and brown scribbles filling in the corners.
“But one day my Mommy and M’ma brought me to a scary place with a scary lady and I walked through a dark cave. I was frightened, but Mommy was waiting for me on the other side.
The third picture was very complicated and mostly unrecognizable. There were three or four buildings, all of distinct shapes: one square, one tall and rectangular, and the third wide and rectangular with a pointed roof in the middle, and clusters of stick figures were gathered outside. One was upside down in a yellow coat. It was probably Jubilee.
“Now I live in a different tall building high up over Washington DC with Mommy and Jubilee. M’ma lives in a big school far away, full of cool people, but Mommy lets me call her lots. JJ lives in a real house with Henry, my best friend, and Will, his big brother. I see them every Saturday. I miss my old house, but I love school and Jubilee and Henry so I’m not sad, even though I don’t get to see M’ma and JJ so much.”
Didi swiveled in Emily’s lap and hugged Emma. “But you’re here now! Are you going to stay?”
Emma met Emily’s eyes with a wry expression. << Was this why you wanted me to stay? >> “For a while at least.” She threaded her fingers through Didi’s hair. “You’ll be with me for the whole summer though, is that okay?”
<< She can be very convincing. >>
“I want M’ma to come home. But the summer’s okay for now.”
Didi curled up into a ball. Emily leaned half against the couch, half against Emma, and busied herself straightening out Emma’s hair. “How have things been going at work?”
Emma tensed a little at the casual touching, but she breathed out, looping one arm around Emily’s waist, and the other around Deirdre. “Oh, fine. At least, once I realized I had to go out in the hall whenever my phone rang. Having the entire room fall silent and stare just because I smiled is not an experience I would like to repeat.”
“She’s making you soft.”
“I think I was talking to you at the time.”
“You are soft.”
Emma tipped her head and kissed her throat, then left a little nip with her teeth. “You should know, seeing that my legs are being crushed beneath you.”
“Totally soft.” Emily leaned in and kissed her, enjoying the added height. Emma engaged in the skirmish.
Didi crushed between them, squirmed. “You’re being boring now!”
They ordered take-out and ate on the sofa, watching the Aristocats.
Emma made snide comments about its faux-proletariat ideology. Emily smacked her and when that didn’t work, kissed her to shut her up. As that had been the intent of the commentary, there were no complaints ensuing.
They put Didi to bed, Emma lay next to her while Emily read, and Didi clung to Emma’s arm as if she were terrified that she’d leave. She finally dropped off near the end of the second chapter of Five Children and It. Emily marked the place, Emma disengaged her arm, and they slipped out, closing the door behind them.
And everything was awkward again. Emily felt the tension like a third rail running through Emma’s head and right into her. She turned, looking at her. “You can stay as long as you want. You know that, right? Spending time with both of you is really not a chore. And Jubilee does most of the work. You don’t need to act as my relief.”
“So you don’t need me then.”
Emily whirled. “What? Don’t- didn’t you hear her? She’s been waiting for you to come for months. And I don’t need you to take her away. I just want you to come home.”
“Don’t say that!” Emma snapped, and Emily flinched away from the venom.
“Do you not want to be here? I know it’s been a while, but you used to just show up and spread out over the whole apartment. Is it so different now?”
“Yes, it is.”
Emily looked away. “You don’t want to be here when I’m here?”
“Stop being stupid,” Emma hissed.
“I’m not being stupid! What am I supposed to think? You’ll talk about nothing on the phone with her for an hour, but you want to get away from me as soon as possible.”
“It isn’t you. It’s… this. God.” She turned, her face contorting. “I cut all ties with you because you knew me too well, and it was disgusting to be so reliant on you, and now there’s that… creature, and she embodies everything I was running from, multiplied.”
“If she’s the one who scares you, why are you running from me?”
“I don’t want to have to care about her.”
“You always care.” Emily shook her head. “Jubilee taught me that.”
“Is that why it rips me up when she asks me to come home? This isn’t home. It isn’t!”
“What is?”
Emma turned and glared. “Shut up.”
“Don’t get pissed at me! I just asked an honest question! So tell me, the school? One of your penthouses? Where you grew up?”
“You know where my last home was. You dug me out of it!”
Emily froze. “Emma…” She was pulling away, into that look that Emily knew too well and had hoped to never see again. She reached out, but Emma jerked away.
“Don’t! Don’t speak to me in that tone. Don’t try to placate me! I can’t rely on you!”
Emily caught her hands and pulled them in, placing them on her waist. “I’m here now,” she said. “All we can have is now.”
Emma pressed her forehead against Emily’s shoulder. “I hate your job.”
“I know. I hate yours.”
“What if…”
“She said it. She has JJ and Jubilee and Henry. She’s not alone.”
“I would make a deal with the devil if it meant I could keep you forever.”
“The devil cheats.”
“So do I.”
Emily stepped back and gave her an odd look.
“What?”
She laughed quietly and pressed her lips to Emma’s forehead, standing on her toes to do so. “I love it when you have the arrogance to challenge various divinities.” She sighed, and leaned into her. “Then why won’t you stay?”
“I don’t want to get used to being here with you.” Her hands were tightly clasped on her waist. “Do you remember when you told me that you didn’t want to see me, because it made you imagine things that only hurt more when you realized they were false?”
“Oh,” Emily said. She remembered. It had been irrational, she knew that at the time, but it didn’t help when Emma would take her to parties, and annoy her friends, and then come home with her, and then she would leave and Emily wouldn’t know when, if ever, she would see her again. It felt worse than if she had never come at all.
“But…” Emma murmured in her ear. “I have a summer house, with a lake and that sort of thing. I haven’t been there in… a decade. If you could find some time off?”
“You’d want me there?”
“It’s much less boring with built in sex.”
Emily snorted. “True enough.” And it would be different enough to be anomalous, not build habits or expectations. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Emma looked at her, her eyes open in that way that meant it wasn’t just her eyes. Emily reached out and touched. It was bitterly familiar, but warm. Emma bent her head and kissed her, warm and chaste, and the touch of her lips still burnt. Emily leaned into her, resting her head on her shoulder, trying to control her shaking. Emma’s hands, warm and stable on her waist, made it hard to breathe.
But she recovered eventually. “Come on,” she said, tugging on Emma’s hand and pulling her down the hall. “I think someone promised me a bath a few months ago, and I intend to collect.”