First of all, I must tell you that I´m not much into threesome stuff. So, I may not be completely objective evaluating your fanfic. It has always been (and will be) just Jin with Kame for me.
But putting my preferences aside, I don´t think it was bad for your first attempt at all. There were grammar mistakes and confusing sentences, but the text itself flowed quite well and you didn´t rush the things up much (considering it was just about sex XD). Maybe, if you included more actual feelings of all three of them, it would do no harm.
Please, don´t take this too negatively, I´m trying to be objective. Without a reasonable criticism, you cannot develop and improve. ;)
If you like, I can do the beta-reading for you, to mark all mistakes and mention the possibilities for changes, etc. Then you can accept them or not, that will be up to you. ^^
And in the end - thank you for sharing! I remember very well how difficult it was to overcome that anxiety about posting my first fic. ^^v
Awwww dear you can´t imagine how happy I´m :) I can take all critism so thank you for all you´ve said :) I can do better now :D I hope :D Well I just have to study more english :D
about threesome -_- I feel little hardcore for writing something like this :D but I had muse like this so it can´t be helped :D honestly I doubt there will be another Akamepi :D In the future I´m planning Akame so I hope you will like it better ♥
I dont want to bother you with beta but I would be the happiest person on planet :D Also I don´t think I will write something like everyday :D it just happens 2 times a year I think :D
I´m really happy that you have read it dear :3 Thank you very very much :D
If you hold on, you can definitely improve. English is not your enemy, it´s "just" another language. ;)
Of course, I understand, I never fight my Muse, She´s too precious to me. :´D
AKame? Hell, yes! Already looking forward to it!
It´s no bother, otherwise I wouldn´t offer. ^^v I was quite busy during the weekend, but I´ll try to look into in during the week, ok? I´ll send you a PM then.
Comments 4
I´m here as I promised! ^^/
First of all, I must tell you that I´m not much into threesome stuff. So, I may not be completely objective evaluating your fanfic. It has always been (and will be) just Jin with Kame for me.
But putting my preferences aside, I don´t think it was bad for your first attempt at all. There were grammar mistakes and confusing sentences, but the text itself flowed quite well and you didn´t rush the things up much (considering it was just about sex XD). Maybe, if you included more actual feelings of all three of them, it would do no harm.
Please, don´t take this too negatively, I´m trying to be objective. Without a reasonable criticism, you cannot develop and improve. ;)
If you like, I can do the beta-reading for you, to mark all mistakes and mention the possibilities for changes, etc. Then you can accept them or not, that will be up to you. ^^
And in the end - thank you for sharing!
I remember very well how difficult it was to overcome that anxiety about posting my first fic. ^^v
Reply
I can take all critism so thank you for all you´ve said :) I can do better now :D I hope :D
Well I just have to study more english :D
about threesome -_- I feel little hardcore for writing something like this :D
but I had muse like this so it can´t be helped :D
honestly I doubt there will be another Akamepi :D
In the future I´m planning Akame so I hope you will like it better ♥
I dont want to bother you with beta but I would be the happiest person on planet :D
Also I don´t think I will write something like everyday :D it just happens 2 times a year I think :D
I´m really happy that you have read it dear :3 Thank you very very much :D
Reply
English is not your enemy, it´s "just" another language. ;)
Of course, I understand, I never fight my Muse, She´s too precious to me. :´D
AKame? Hell, yes! Already looking forward to it!
It´s no bother, otherwise I wouldn´t offer. ^^v
I was quite busy during the weekend, but I´ll try to look into in during the week, ok?
I´ll send you a PM then.
You´re welcome. <3
Reply
You can´t imagine how grateful I am :)
I´ll be waiting :) ♥
Reply
Leave a comment