And very thoughtful contemplations at that. I agree with you on all of these points - I am working on my own anger issues. This one is going into memories.
Ain't anger great? :p I like to think I've grown beyond my own issues...but they're still there. They're buried, but I see little bits of it peeking out here and there every once in a while. I pray that your own struggle will be eased, and I'm glad if this little ramble helped. :)
Interesting that you brought the subject up. I've been contemplating it for some time myself.
I confess to harboring some anger and resentment for about the last year that I've been having difficulty letting go. There was a time before that when I truly believed I was incapable of remaining angry with someone for more than a day. I just never was able to hold a grudge...until last year.
I've thought about how other things in my life might have been amplifying an already intense anger towards those people. I pretty much decided that I was probably depressed with the circumstances of my life at the time. Hubby hiding stuff, living in a part of the country I didn't like, etc. Anger seems to be a component of depression on occasion.
But yeah, I've been grumpy lately myself, even I noticed it. I remember when I was in high school and in my early twenties, I was very happy and didn't get riled up over half the stuff I do now.
Re: ah, angernightwind69June 21 2006, 02:37:24 UTC
I think that anger is a part of depression, yes. Many people seem to think that it's just sadness and weepiness all the time, but for me when I suffered it, it seemed to manifest mostly in anger -- at myself, at the world -- rather than in sadness. But I guess everyone's different. 'Tis why mental illness is so difficult to diagnose.
But even if it isn't associated with an illnes, anger is just a hard thing to let go. People seem to like to hang on to their anger and their grudges. I'm not really sure why. I've just decided to try to let that little one that I have go. For you...Well, I think I know of whom you are speaking -- unless you're speaking of someone that I don't also know -- and I'm fairly certain that that person isn't hurting because of your anger. You're just hurting yourself, just like I hurt myself with my grudges. I guess it's my own personal brand of masochism. ;)
The day Azzy stops being angry at every little thing that people who don't measure up to her level of "intelligence" is the day I've gone on to wherever it is my next life takes me.
There are many, many people in the world who are angry about everything, who are time bombs in every sense of the word except the literal sense, just waiting for something -- some little thing, likey -- to light the fuse and set them off.
Actually, sometimes I sense that you're like that, IB. Mind, I'm not saying this to criticize because, as I said, I've got my own issues. It's just that your anger seems to be much closer to the surface. I don't know, maybe that's healthier...but maybe it isn't. Actually, I think a balance is best. I'm just not very good at balance. Either my emotions are buried or they're coming out full, lethal force. There is no half way with me.
Meh...it's not so much the anger is close to the surface. Its more like there are certain fuses that can simply set me off when tripped. And I guess Azzy found one of 'em.
Meh...guess I'll just have to figure out how to get her back.
Especially because it seems like it's mostly younger people, teens and twentysomethings, who are so consumed by it. And quite shortly, it'll that generation that will be running things. And that, IMO, is a very scary thought.
By the time they're old enough to run things, they may have mellowed out. ;)
And then I thought about the people I know, both in real life and online, who just seem to be angry all the time.
Speaking for myself - it's not that I'm angry all the time, but I'm more likely to make a post when I need to rant than I am to make a post in order to say, "I had a really calm and pleasant day when nobody pissed me off." Might be the same with other online people.
I agree with that. I tend to use my LJ as a venting vehicle for things I need to get off my chest. I'm also less likely to ramble on about stuff that makes me happy.
By the time they're old enough to run things, they may have mellowed out. ;)
Well, hopefully so. But honestly, I don't see much of a mellowing trend lately. I see a trend toward more anger.
Speaking for myself - it's not that I'm angry all the time, but I'm more likely to make a post when I need to rant than I am to make a post in order to say, "I had a really calm and pleasant day when nobody pissed me off." Might be the same with other online people.
Well, I can sort of understand the venting thing. We all vent sometimes. But when people consistently insist that they hate humanity, I think it goes a bit beyond ordinary venting. We all have bad days. But some folks just seem to revel in their bad days.
Anger just chews up too much of my soul to be worth it--that, and I am capable of some truly berserker rages if I let myself get worked up. (I've bruised and broken bones in my hand more than once as a result of punching something hard in a fit of berserk rage.)
"Love thy neighbor as thyself" is a great antidote for anger. Have compassion on your fellow man, because he or she is as screwed up as you are, or you are as messed up as them, either way. Maybe that woman or man is acting like a jerk because a close family member just died; maybe the clerk at the story is surly because she's working overtime and her feet hurt and her head hurts and she just wants to be home, but she can't go home for another 4 hours
( ... )
Indeed, loving one's neighbor is the ideal...but unfortunately ideals are ideals because they aren't all that commonly-achieved. But yeah, that's my usual method; if someone's being a jerk, I try to think of why they might be behaving that way. Of course, there are some people who just ARE jerks for whatever reason.
For me, anger doesn't often come out. When it does, it is usually more of the passive aggressive variety because in my head I tend to think that that's "nicer" or more subtle or whatever. In reality, it's just more manipulative and, oftentimes, more hurtful. So, I do have anger; it's just that I don't show it often. But it does need to be dealt with because no one can bury their anger forever. So, like I said to Knave, swearing off yelling at people while driving is a baby step in the (hopefully) right direction.
I must say, that really was a well thought out and impactful entry, one that strikes close to home. I've found myself full of resentment and anger lately, stuff I'm trying to work through. We'll see if this is my proverbial smack I need.
I can certainly understand why you'd be pissed at the world, Knave, what with your work situation and all. And like I said, sometimes people just seem to like to hold onto their anger, to the point that they don't even realize that they're doing it. It's so subconscious that it's like breathing, something that you do without thinking about it. I know that's how it is for me. So, I just decided today to take a baby step toward letting it go.
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I confess to harboring some anger and resentment for about the last year that I've been having difficulty letting go. There was a time before that when I truly believed I was incapable of remaining angry with someone for more than a day. I just never was able to hold a grudge...until last year.
I've thought about how other things in my life might have been amplifying an already intense anger towards those people. I pretty much decided that I was probably depressed with the circumstances of my life at the time. Hubby hiding stuff, living in a part of the country I didn't like, etc. Anger seems to be a component of depression on occasion.
But yeah, I've been grumpy lately myself, even I noticed it. I remember when I was in high school and in my early twenties, I was very happy and didn't get riled up over half the stuff I do now.
Too strange. :P
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But even if it isn't associated with an illnes, anger is just a hard thing to let go. People seem to like to hang on to their anger and their grudges. I'm not really sure why. I've just decided to try to let that little one that I have go. For you...Well, I think I know of whom you are speaking -- unless you're speaking of someone that I don't also know -- and I'm fairly certain that that person isn't hurting because of your anger. You're just hurting yourself, just like I hurt myself with my grudges. I guess it's my own personal brand of masochism. ;)
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Actually, sometimes I sense that you're like that, IB. Mind, I'm not saying this to criticize because, as I said, I've got my own issues. It's just that your anger seems to be much closer to the surface. I don't know, maybe that's healthier...but maybe it isn't. Actually, I think a balance is best. I'm just not very good at balance. Either my emotions are buried or they're coming out full, lethal force. There is no half way with me.
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Meh...guess I'll just have to figure out how to get her back.
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Well, having seen this, thanks to a little bluebird, I can safely say that the chances of that happening are small. Very small.
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Especially because it seems like it's mostly younger people, teens and twentysomethings, who are so consumed by it. And quite shortly, it'll that generation that will be running things. And that, IMO, is a very scary thought.
By the time they're old enough to run things, they may have mellowed out. ;)
And then I thought about the people I know, both in real life and online, who just seem to be angry all the time.
Speaking for myself - it's not that I'm angry all the time, but I'm more likely to make a post when I need to rant than I am to make a post in order to say, "I had a really calm and pleasant day when nobody pissed me off." Might be the same with other online people.
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Well, hopefully so. But honestly, I don't see much of a mellowing trend lately. I see a trend toward more anger.
Speaking for myself - it's not that I'm angry all the time, but I'm more likely to make a post when I need to rant than I am to make a post in order to say, "I had a really calm and pleasant day when nobody pissed me off." Might be the same with other online people.
Well, I can sort of understand the venting thing. We all vent sometimes. But when people consistently insist that they hate humanity, I think it goes a bit beyond ordinary venting. We all have bad days. But some folks just seem to revel in their bad days.
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"Love thy neighbor as thyself" is a great antidote for anger. Have compassion on your fellow man, because he or she is as screwed up as you are, or you are as messed up as them, either way. Maybe that woman or man is acting like a jerk because a close family member just died; maybe the clerk at the story is surly because she's working overtime and her feet hurt and her head hurts and she just wants to be home, but she can't go home for another 4 hours ( ... )
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For me, anger doesn't often come out. When it does, it is usually more of the passive aggressive variety because in my head I tend to think that that's "nicer" or more subtle or whatever. In reality, it's just more manipulative and, oftentimes, more hurtful. So, I do have anger; it's just that I don't show it often. But it does need to be dealt with because no one can bury their anger forever. So, like I said to Knave, swearing off yelling at people while driving is a baby step in the (hopefully) right direction.
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*hugs*
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