together we can (merlin; m+l) ficmix
So I made a Morgana/Leon fanmix, because, apparently, I got issues and they're my fave crackship of Merlin (except, perhaps, Will of Ealdor and Sir William. Weird, yes) They haven't really talked but sometimes it's the conversations we don't hear that matter the most, yeah?
Since not a lot of fic prominently feature M+L, this fanmix doubles as a fanfic, with small fics accompanying each song. Artists in this mix include The Black Keys, OK GO, Bell X1, Metric and more...
I Keep Myself to Myself // Boy Least Likely To
The world is made up of boxes that
I don’t fit in
Sometimes when I look up at the stars I
Feels so alone because I know
That no one can ever
See the world the same way that I do
I am afraid of falling in love so I
Keep myself to myself
She has never been one to alienate herself from the court, from Arthur, from Uther. In fact, she’s always been the one to demand the attention to be put on herself. It used to annoy Arthur to bits, so surely he would notice his life devoid of such an annoyance.
But she has magic, which acquires a new set of rules. She’s not alienating, per se; she’s just a really good liar.
A King and Queen // Okkervil River
But the best thing for you would be queen, so be queen.
You’re all that I need.
Though I know that it never can be,
I’d be pleased to post your decrees,
to fall at your knees,
to name all your streets and to sit down and weep
when you’re carried back through them
He’s not denying it any longer; it’s not a closeted secret that Lady Morgana is beautiful. Every Knight like himself notices the same fact, and watches in awe when she glides in the presence of them, like a swan over water, and claps their hands when she trains sword fighting with them.
He’s not denying that he wants nothing more than to be in her presence longer than the few seconds he’s allowed in the hallways, saying things like “My Lady,” and being responded, “Sir Leon,” every few days.
He wants nothing more than to be called her friend, and, when that is done with, to be called something much, much more.
2 Atoms in a Molecule // Noah and the Whale
Held together, holding each other
With no one else in mind
Like two atoms in a molecule
Inseparably combined
But then I woke from the dream
To realize I was alone
A tragic event, I must admit
But let's not be overblown
So they’re friends now, bit by bit, after he found her fuming arguing with Uther. He comforted her and she looked grateful, and she’s comfortable around him and practices with him with his sword, saying, “Well, it’s nice to see not all of Arthur’s knights are incompetent and have a brain of a pigeon.”
But he still yearns for her. Dreams haunt him at night, telling him he’s alone, that he’ll die alone with only an oath to a kingdom to speak for him, not the words of the woman he cares for.
Tighten Up // The Black Keys
I wanted love, I needed love,
Most of all, most of all
Someone said true love was dead
And I'm bound to fall, bound to fall
For you
Oh, what can I do?
Leon is charming, she has to give him that, and smart, not like the rest of the kingdom’s buffoons, and, yes, handsome. He doesn’t see her as the King’s ward when they are spending their afternoons together, and she doesn’t see him as a mere Knight.
Leon is the perfect man to fall in love with. And she has the beginnings of something but things are different. Circumstances are not in the form where she can have the liberty of falling in love with someone like Leon. But she wants it, the constant comfort of care, the things Leon would and want (because she’s not an idiot, she’s seen his looks, honestly) to give her.
Her magic is standing in the way, this stupid thing she didn’t even ask for, and even if she wanted to be with the person who knew about it, she couldn’t. Merlin’s too besotted with Arthur, anyway. Her head spins with the possibility of maybe Leon might keep her secret, too.
He smiles at her now and nods curtly. She stops thinking for a moment but a moment is long enough for her to stride forward and kiss him hard on the lips.
Walking on a Dream // Empire of the Sun
Thought I’d never see
The love you found in me
Now it’s changing all the time
Living in a rhythm where the minutes working overtime
She’s happier now. He doesn’t know if it’s just the pure afterglow or the fact that maybe he’s too happy that he starts imagining that everyone’s happy as well but, no, Morgana definitely seems happier.
Even when she doesn’t know he’s looking, she smiles secretly like she’s thinking about their trysts from the night before and blushes a little before Arthur will ask the matter and she’s back to pretending for the sake of the court.
But he’s truly happy she’s happy, too, for he cares for her, more than she’ll ever know, and he’s also truly happy that he made her happy.
Is this How Love's Supposed to Feel? // Ben Lee
So say you'll stay
I promise I won't go
There's just one thing
I really need to know
Is this how love's supposed to feel?
Is this how love's supposed to feel?
“Stay,” she says softly into his shoulder. Her hair spills over and it obscures his view for a while until he brushes her hair and sees her face. “Please?”
She doesn’t want to have nightmares again and it seems that whenever Leon’s here, nightmares leave her and she’s swept away by sheer blackness or, better, dreams that are vivid and tell her tales of love and dragons and magic roaming free like a children’s story.
“Okay,” he nods. “Just let me get us some clothes. It’s cold.”
While he gets up, she sits up a little. Is this how love’s supposed to feel? Waking up and wishing the other person were there? Walking through your duties every day wishing the other person was there right beside you? Being with that someone and realizing you don’t need to wish or hope anymore?
She figures, as Leon comes back, if this is love, then she’s all for it.
West of her Spine // Bell X1
It's here I'll rest my chin
And breathe her deep and smile
For I think I've found a soft spot
and I'll lie here a while
It's here I'll raise my flag
And claim this land as mine
Just south of her shoulder
And west of her spine
Months. it’s been months since she first kissed him, and she’s still here, with him, in his arms, while the sunlight peers through the windows, hitting her shoulder blades and lighting her black hair. He presses kisses on the corner of her neck, and to her shoulder, rousing her from sleep.
It seems that all the Knights have noticed Morgana and Leon’s closeness, but all they do is whoop congratulations and clap him on the back, though they don’t tell Arthur or Uther. Uther is far too busy running a kingdom, anyway, and Arthur is far too busy with…Merlin.
Morgana blinks open her eyes, turning from her position and looks at him fondly. “Good morning, my Lady,” Leon smiles. Morgana makes an incoherent moan, settling to the awakening.
Leon kisses her shoulder some more, until she looks up deviously. She kisses him and says, “A very good morning to you, too, Sir Leon.”
Collect Call // Metric
I know it's a lie I want it to be true
The rest of the ride is riding on you
Over goodbyes we'll buy some place
For wishing you could
Keep me closer
I'm a lazy dancer
When you move I move with you
Months. It’s been months since this first happened. She loves him as much as she despises this magic running through her. This is getting too serious, too much. She’ll have to tell him. And if he doesn’t accept her, and tells the King that Morgana has magic, then he won’t be the man she thought she fell in love with.
He’s surprised when he sees her in his chambers but kisses her welcome anyway. She drops a serious and solemn tone and he notices.
“What’s wrong, Morgana?” he asks.
“I have to show you something,” she says and opens the palm of her hand.
“Morgana, what…” He stops talking the moment she conjures flames from the edges of her fingers and they gather at the centre of her hand, a small fire there, right in the palm of her hand.
Leon is speechless; his face slack-jawed, his expression tells her nothing good has come out of this so she leaves without even saying what she wanted to say, that it was choice. Forever, it’s his choice.
In the Night // Basia Bulat
All the hopes that you've been holding onto for so long
And the fires you've been chasing down now are all gone
I can tell you are a long way from the one you love
Ohh the night it takes so long to fall
ohh in the night, ohh in the night, ohh in the night
I will hide away my fortunate son
he’s soon to fall but let him go
but I’ll always know my life is not the only one,
“Merlin?”
“Hmm, yes?”
“Have you ever done something horrible and told the person you love, with the best of intentions?”
Merlin sits down and says, “That’s a loaded question. What’s wrong, Morgana?”
“I should stay away, shouldn’t I? That would be best. I don’t want to danger him, I don’t want to hurt him and I could. Gods, Merlin, I could.”
“Morgana…”
“I love him, Merlin,” Morgana’s eyes start welling up before she can help it. “I should stay away.”
Merlin holds her close. “Morgana, I understand. Believe me, I do. You know how many horrible things I’ve done for Arthur, despite my best intentions? It doesn’t help staying away. It really doesn’t.”
“He must think the worst of me.”
“He really doesn’t.”
If You were Alien // The Brunettes
But as long as you are near me
The distance won't hurt as much
If you were an alien girl I'd kiss your alien lips.
And if you want to vacate this planet I don't mind a one-way ticket
He would do anything for Morgana. There were a million different, albeit weird, scenarios he thought about. If Morgana had a strange fetish in bed, he’d do it. If she was allergic to his chain mail for some reason then he would go to battle bare. If she wanted to run from Camelot, he would pack his bags.
If she was a witch, then he would do everything in his power to protect her. Now, one of them came true. And if Leon was anyone, anyone at all, he was a man of his word, even if his word was to a few strange scenarios. Morgana would have his word.
Invincible // OK GO
When they finally come, how will you handle them?
Will you devastate them deliberately?
'Cause I'm gonna guess they won't be prepared for the
Thousand-Fahrenheit-hot little lights behind your eyes
Invincible (invincible, ooh-ooh-ooh)
You're invincible (invincible)
So please
Use your powers
For good
Please use your powers for good
He goes to her chambers later that evening because love will not wait for no man, neither will honesty. Morgana looks as if she’s been crying, the white in her eyes red around the perfect blue of the rest. She invites him in, a bit too cordially.
“I’ve decided not to tell the King,” he says, a bit too cordially.
“W-why not?” she stammers.
“Because the King has enough problems of his own and I do not wish to trouble my Lord with another,” he breathes out. “And I love you.”
Morgana blinks up to him, like she can’t quite grasp the concept of someone actually loving her despite her flaws and all. She inches forward and he can feel their breath mingling together in the air.
“I wish to make a deal,” Leon says, still keeping his stature.
“What?” Morgana asks.
“In order for me to keep this secret, I need something from you,” Leon says. He puts a hand on her neck and fingers to trace her cheek.
“You are powerful, Morgana. A powerful sorceress, one that this kingdom would see destroyed. But, promise me, you will use these powers for good. Fight alongside me, and not against. I love you and I will not see you condemned for being who you are. Promise me.”
Morgana presses a kiss to the palm of his hand and answers, as she’s always thought she would, “I promise.”
Kill Monsters in the Rain // Steel Train
Come and save me, I’ll climb on up your hill
We don’t sleep, no more life lived like a dream
Together we can, together we'll
Kill monsters in the rain
We are the same, what a mess you made
It’s not perfect but nothing ever is.
But it’s Morgana le Fay, daughter of Gorlois, ward of the King, magic extraordinaire, loving in every way written and in some that hasn’t been documented yet, beautiful in other’s eyes for being brave, beautiful in his eyes for being flawed.
And it’s Sir Leon, Knight of Camelot, handle with a sword, holding a word close to heart, chivalrous (the age for it is not dead, Morgana says), handsome in the traditional sense, illuminating in a sense only she can understand.
It’s them, him and her, and it’s not perfect, but it’s quite enough for now.
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