As someone who has been celibate for a year, more or less, I can tell you that it is no fun, and doesn't make anything easier. Life is just as complicated, I still fall in love with the wrong men, I still get my heart broken, but there are no fun accompanying orgasms. There is definitely a part of me that has gotten lost from being so firmly planted on the Virgin Matriarch side of the spectrum.
There are pluses, of course, I really enjoy sleeping alone. I am kept warm, to a certain extent by a sense of moral superiority (superior to what, I don't know), knowing I did not sleep with inappropriate people. However, I don't know how one goes about meeting appropriate people to sleep with, I certainly don't know any.
Anyway, don't deny who you are. Your urges ARE normal, healthy and moderate. It doesn't matter how you get involved with people, involvement with others is always messy, it is just much more fun with sex involved.
Yeah, it's not like I WANT to be celibate. I'm a hot-blooded creature. I'm horny. I WANT sex as much as anyone else does. I want to like and respect the person I'm doing it with, of course. I want to be aroused by that person. I want there not to be melodrama as a result of it. But it never seems to work out that way. No matter how much respect I have for my own body, and my own desire... that doesn't mean the guy I'm doing it with feels the same way. To him, I'm a conquest. To him, it's a matter of power, even if to me it's a matter of choice and liberation. And for some terrible reason, I seem to be most attracted to men who have (rather inconspicuously, I must say) exactly these negative attitudes toward women and sex. So I do wonder if I should forgo sex until I figure it all out. At this point, I sort of feel like, well, you make me wet... you must be an asshole. Y'know
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There are pluses, of course, I really enjoy sleeping alone. I am kept warm, to a certain extent by a sense of moral superiority (superior to what, I don't know), knowing I did not sleep with inappropriate people. However, I don't know how one goes about meeting appropriate people to sleep with, I certainly don't know any.
Anyway, don't deny who you are. Your urges ARE normal, healthy and moderate. It doesn't matter how you get involved with people, involvement with others is always messy, it is just much more fun with sex involved.
And what's with this guy at your window??
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