Fic: The Pink Kryptonite Incident
Title: The Pink Kryptonite Incident
Fandom: Justice League, Smallville, Superman
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Word count: 414
Summary: Sudden gayness and horniness leads to an awkward time for (almost) everyone.
Warnings: Canon!crack
Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit
AN: While the story proper takes place in just about any Superman/Justice League canon, the Red Kryptonite referred to is of the Smallville variety. For those of you smart enough (smarter than me) to not actually watch the train-wreck that is Smallville, Red K in this 'verse removes inhibitions, generally leading to impulsive behavior and sex, violence, or theft.
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Afterward it was generally agreed, when they weren’t trying to pretend like whole thing had never happened, that the only good things about the Pink Kryptonite Incident were that it was over rather quickly and that the only known piece of Pink K was destroyed by the end of it.
Clark had undoubtedly gotten the best end of the deal. To all appearances he had managed to ignore both his sudden change in sexuality and his unbearable horniness, and had normal day at work at The Planet. Conner and Kara theorized that with a girlfriend like Lois Lane, Clark’s fear had outvoted his dick. But the reality of it was, his “normal day at work,” had mostly been spent using his supervision and superhearing to be, more or less, a superpowered Peeping Tom. He didn’t tell anyone because, while he suspected Wally might be flattered in his own weird way, between Bruce, Lex, and Lois, he wasn’t sure who would kill him first.
Conner didn’t think it was going to turn out too bad at first. Of all the people he could have jumped in a gay lust-filled daze, Tim was probably the best option. Tim managed to subdue him fairly quickly, Conner really wasn’t at his peak condition at the time, and didn’t hold it against Conner afterward. Things were a bit awkward between them at the moment, but they’d work it out. The problem was Cassie. She said she wasn’t mad and that she didn’t blame him, but she also made a lot of pointed references to “Superman’s amazing self-control.” Most of Conner’s money was going towards flowers and chocolates these days.
Kara categorically refused to say anything about what had happened to her, or, probably more accurately, what she had done to someone else, except that it had been “deeply traumatizing.”
By the end of the whole thing, Kara and Conner were in enthusiastic agreement that, aside from the green variety, Pink K was the worst type of Kryptonite. This handily nudged Red K out of its previously held second place spot. Clark disagreed vehemently, but decided there was little point in belaboring the issue when they could be repressing it. It was over and done with, and they should all just put the whole thing behind them.
It should be noted that, if Zatanna had been asked to weigh in on the Pink versus Red K debate, she would have licked her lips and said she liked them both equally.