Fic: Untitled
Title: Untitled
Artist/Author: rvst
Fandom: Drake & Josh, Ned's Declassified SSG
Pairing: Mindy Crenshaw/Evelyn Kwong
Rating: PG
Recipient: schilling_klaus
Steve Rhine watched in amazement as his two bosses glared at each other from across the boardroom table. He wanted desperately to speak up and stop the fighting between them, but the cash bonus that had been offered to him two weeks earlier by Mindy Crenshaw was simply too good to jeopardise based on a noble thought at saving her marriage to the other boss in the room, Evelyn Crenshaw.
Steve didn’t know what to expect when he graduated for college, but he sure as heck wasn’t expecting to be placed on a team and told that he’d get his gross pay for the year handed to him as a bonus on top of his weekly earnings. Steve clearly recognised that it wasn’t the weirdest request an employer had ever made, but to ask your entire staff to drop everything and work on knocking up your wife? That was new, even to the older members of the top echelon of the company.
The decision had been made on the roof on their considerably large building. One of the interns had gleefully relayed the news that she’s caught Evelyn and Mindy sitting casually atop their self-designed water-resistant recliners with their hands intertwined and giddy smiles of eternal love affection and bliss upon their lips.
The intern was promptly fired (twice) for being an overly romantic little girl. It was strange for Steve to see her nearly burst into tears when Mindy politely informed her that her ability to keep up with the steep learning curve present at their company was severely inadequate. Evelyn yelled something unintelligible, followed by a far more verbose speech explaining the previously non-existent issues her and her wife had with this particular intern. Steve thought it strange how no one spoke up for the poor girl, but in retrospect he noted that every single one of the bosses complaints were perfectly legitimate, if not blaringly obvious to anyone with half a brain.
A telepathic conversation had then transpired, or it appeared to be one, and the announcement came that their bosses wanted to expand their business into the reproduction sector. When they were met with more blank looks like the broken intern on the floor was still sporting, Mindy pinched at her nose and Evelyn sighed.
“We want to have a baby, and you’re all going to help us do it,” Mindy growled out through gritted teeth. Evelyn nodded once, her eyes narrowing on Bobby Ryan, the resident, self-proclaimed stud of the office. He was smirking and raking his eyes appreciatively over Mindy’s body, he’d apparently assumed that she was the one needing the ‘help’.
“Can’t you just go to a sperm bank or something?” Steve ventured, kicking his usually functioning sense of self-preservation for failing when he needed it most.
“We want this kid to look like both of us and there is no way my little brother is getting his grubby hands over my property!” Mindy’s outburst caused the entire room to jump, and Evelyn to glare. “Like you don’t objectify me in your head.”
Evelyn nodded, seemingly conceding the point. The devious grin that appeared moments later proved that to be wrong when the competition was announced.
“Now, we can’t figure this out by ourselves, neither of us is particularly skilled in the art of artificial reproduction.” Evelyn smirked as Mindy looked to the heavens for help with whatever was coming next. “Split into two equal teams and meet us in the board room for your assignment and the rewards for success.”
They’d gone on to explain how the matter of who was going to carry the child to term could not be left up to chance alone, as they had done with the decision for Evelyn to take Mindy’s name. Something about a mutual distaste for hyphens and a coin toss. There was to be a competition, one team against the other. The first to find a way for two women to have a child together got the option of choosing who carried said baby.
The massive cash bonus was just an added incentive Mindy had introduced to make her team motivated by more than mere fear alone. Steve was sure Evelyn was off doing the exact same thing seconds into the start of the competition.
Both teams had struck success exactly fourteen days after starting, a new record for any of the company’s various projects. The current argument was now concerning which team had finished first, but everyone, even the two combatants were well aware that they’d finished at the exact same time.
“This isn’t working,” Evelyn admitted, it was her turn to concede a fruitless argument. “Why don’t we both just-“
“One of us needs to-“
“They aren’t children you know. Actually, Steve-“
“Have a kid with Steve then!”
With that, Mindy Crenshaw left. Evelyn stood silent, her eyes betraying tears and a mind going faster than the speed of light to figure out what had gotten into Mindy.
Steve knew. Three days ago, one of his ideas needed testing on a human subject. Mindy had volunteered while claiming that Evelyn was just so brilliant that Mindy was sure to lose going up against her. Steve witnessed two things that night, Mindy Crenshaw’s romantic, lovey-dovey, girlie side, and the apparently lingering effects of a drug he’d concocted to prepare the female body and place it in the optimum range for a smooth conception and pregnancy.
He explained all of this to Evelyn, considering the other job offers he’d been given while working for the Crenshaw women. None of them compared.
“Are you all ready to perform the procedure?’ Steve watched with dawning realisation that everyone was hesitantly agreeing.
Three weeks later, Mindy returned from whatever island she’d deemed to be far enough away from the baby drama. By this point, it had been confirmed. Now all they had to do was find a way to tell the volatile woman.
“Hey,” Mindy carefully caught the attention of Evelyn, who was sitting in one of the chairs on the roof while the rest of the staff enjoyed the celebratory open bar. “I’ve decided that I overreacted but they are all babies that need sitting on occasionally.”
“You want to kill our employees?” Steve casually watched as they broke out into laughter, their non-argument left forgotten underneath three weeks of being away from each other.
“Did you miss me, baby?” Evelyn responded by getting up to swiftly kiss her wife before replying.
“Funny you should mention babies. How do you feel about that now?”
“As overjoyed as I was two months ago, yet still as unwilling to carry one as ever.”
“Good, I had an affair with Stevie over there the day you left. I’m pregnant.” Steve feared for his life as Evelyn deadpanned the almost sick joke.
“Good, I ran back to San Diego to hook up with Megan Parker, she’s better in bed than you.”
Steve felt what he was sure was his flight reflex, he knew he didn’t want to be around for this particular fight. Especially if Evelyn was going to put him in the middle of what was probably going to end up as a double homicide when his bosses killed each other.
“You went through with the procedure didn’t-“
“Megan’s in D.C making this whole us having a baby thing legal. Besides you’re terrified of her-“
“Would you leave that tramp she married out of our-“
“Oh but it annoys you so very-“
Mindy grinned and cut her wife of with a long, deep kiss.
“You’re having my baby.”
Steve Rhine escaped with his life that night, however Evelyn Crenshaw was only saved by the embryo growing inside of her when a thought occurred to Mindy.
“You got pregnant without me being there!”
Artist/Author: rvst
Fandom: Drake & Josh, Ned's Declassified SSG
Pairing: Mindy Crenshaw/Evelyn Kwong
Rating: PG
Recipient: schilling_klaus
Steve Rhine watched in amazement as his two bosses glared at each other from across the boardroom table. He wanted desperately to speak up and stop the fighting between them, but the cash bonus that had been offered to him two weeks earlier by Mindy Crenshaw was simply too good to jeopardise based on a noble thought at saving her marriage to the other boss in the room, Evelyn Crenshaw.
Steve didn’t know what to expect when he graduated for college, but he sure as heck wasn’t expecting to be placed on a team and told that he’d get his gross pay for the year handed to him as a bonus on top of his weekly earnings. Steve clearly recognised that it wasn’t the weirdest request an employer had ever made, but to ask your entire staff to drop everything and work on knocking up your wife? That was new, even to the older members of the top echelon of the company.
The decision had been made on the roof on their considerably large building. One of the interns had gleefully relayed the news that she’s caught Evelyn and Mindy sitting casually atop their self-designed water-resistant recliners with their hands intertwined and giddy smiles of eternal love affection and bliss upon their lips.
The intern was promptly fired (twice) for being an overly romantic little girl. It was strange for Steve to see her nearly burst into tears when Mindy politely informed her that her ability to keep up with the steep learning curve present at their company was severely inadequate. Evelyn yelled something unintelligible, followed by a far more verbose speech explaining the previously non-existent issues her and her wife had with this particular intern. Steve thought it strange how no one spoke up for the poor girl, but in retrospect he noted that every single one of the bosses complaints were perfectly legitimate, if not blaringly obvious to anyone with half a brain.
A telepathic conversation had then transpired, or it appeared to be one, and the announcement came that their bosses wanted to expand their business into the reproduction sector. When they were met with more blank looks like the broken intern on the floor was still sporting, Mindy pinched at her nose and Evelyn sighed.
“We want to have a baby, and you’re all going to help us do it,” Mindy growled out through gritted teeth. Evelyn nodded once, her eyes narrowing on Bobby Ryan, the resident, self-proclaimed stud of the office. He was smirking and raking his eyes appreciatively over Mindy’s body, he’d apparently assumed that she was the one needing the ‘help’.
“Can’t you just go to a sperm bank or something?” Steve ventured, kicking his usually functioning sense of self-preservation for failing when he needed it most.
“We want this kid to look like both of us and there is no way my little brother is getting his grubby hands over my property!” Mindy’s outburst caused the entire room to jump, and Evelyn to glare. “Like you don’t objectify me in your head.”
Evelyn nodded, seemingly conceding the point. The devious grin that appeared moments later proved that to be wrong when the competition was announced.
“Now, we can’t figure this out by ourselves, neither of us is particularly skilled in the art of artificial reproduction.” Evelyn smirked as Mindy looked to the heavens for help with whatever was coming next. “Split into two equal teams and meet us in the board room for your assignment and the rewards for success.”
They’d gone on to explain how the matter of who was going to carry the child to term could not be left up to chance alone, as they had done with the decision for Evelyn to take Mindy’s name. Something about a mutual distaste for hyphens and a coin toss. There was to be a competition, one team against the other. The first to find a way for two women to have a child together got the option of choosing who carried said baby.
The massive cash bonus was just an added incentive Mindy had introduced to make her team motivated by more than mere fear alone. Steve was sure Evelyn was off doing the exact same thing seconds into the start of the competition.
Both teams had struck success exactly fourteen days after starting, a new record for any of the company’s various projects. The current argument was now concerning which team had finished first, but everyone, even the two combatants were well aware that they’d finished at the exact same time.
“This isn’t working,” Evelyn admitted, it was her turn to concede a fruitless argument. “Why don’t we both just-“
“One of us needs to-“
“They aren’t children you know. Actually, Steve-“
“Have a kid with Steve then!”
With that, Mindy Crenshaw left. Evelyn stood silent, her eyes betraying tears and a mind going faster than the speed of light to figure out what had gotten into Mindy.
Steve knew. Three days ago, one of his ideas needed testing on a human subject. Mindy had volunteered while claiming that Evelyn was just so brilliant that Mindy was sure to lose going up against her. Steve witnessed two things that night, Mindy Crenshaw’s romantic, lovey-dovey, girlie side, and the apparently lingering effects of a drug he’d concocted to prepare the female body and place it in the optimum range for a smooth conception and pregnancy.
He explained all of this to Evelyn, considering the other job offers he’d been given while working for the Crenshaw women. None of them compared.
“Are you all ready to perform the procedure?’ Steve watched with dawning realisation that everyone was hesitantly agreeing.
Three weeks later, Mindy returned from whatever island she’d deemed to be far enough away from the baby drama. By this point, it had been confirmed. Now all they had to do was find a way to tell the volatile woman.
“Hey,” Mindy carefully caught the attention of Evelyn, who was sitting in one of the chairs on the roof while the rest of the staff enjoyed the celebratory open bar. “I’ve decided that I overreacted but they are all babies that need sitting on occasionally.”
“You want to kill our employees?” Steve casually watched as they broke out into laughter, their non-argument left forgotten underneath three weeks of being away from each other.
“Did you miss me, baby?” Evelyn responded by getting up to swiftly kiss her wife before replying.
“Funny you should mention babies. How do you feel about that now?”
“As overjoyed as I was two months ago, yet still as unwilling to carry one as ever.”
“Good, I had an affair with Stevie over there the day you left. I’m pregnant.” Steve feared for his life as Evelyn deadpanned the almost sick joke.
“Good, I ran back to San Diego to hook up with Megan Parker, she’s better in bed than you.”
Steve felt what he was sure was his flight reflex, he knew he didn’t want to be around for this particular fight. Especially if Evelyn was going to put him in the middle of what was probably going to end up as a double homicide when his bosses killed each other.
“You went through with the procedure didn’t-“
“Megan’s in D.C making this whole us having a baby thing legal. Besides you’re terrified of her-“
“Would you leave that tramp she married out of our-“
“Oh but it annoys you so very-“
Mindy grinned and cut her wife of with a long, deep kiss.
“You’re having my baby.”
Steve Rhine escaped with his life that night, however Evelyn Crenshaw was only saved by the embryo growing inside of her when a thought occurred to Mindy.
“You got pregnant without me being there!”