Cheesecake (Chapter 4)
Title: Cheesecake
Characters: Kibum, Yesung, Siwon, Heechul, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Luna, mentions of Lee Sungjong
Pairing: KiSung, YeWon, EunHae
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG-15
Disclaimer: I only own the story and the plot
Summary: Kibum could not fight the wave of memories a cheesecake had brought him.
Being too excited, Kibum arrived about 30 minutes too early in the Winter Wonderland, an indoor recreation park opened only on winters. It was on the centre of Seoul, and Kibum looking around happily while waiting for his friends to come. The best part of this wonderland was, of course, that you could still enjoy a blast of roller coaster while it's impossible to ride ones on the usual recreational park because of the cold.
Kibum almost couldn't believe this. He didn't know how to properly thank Donghae for his efforts, to make Jongwoon finally agreed to hang out with him. Donghae was really Jongwoon's favorite dongsaeng, afterall, he had all the privileges to be all bratty towards the older and still having his love and affection afterwards.
But Kibum once was also Jongwoon's favorite, right? Only he'd been too ungrateful that the bless of being so close to the older vanished.
He smiled to himself. Going out with the EunHae couple and Jongwoon would definitely made his day. He'd been really missing Jongwoon, and the sign of Jongwoon's good intention to play with him, with the companiment of EunHae, of course, give him a tiny little spark of hope. He knew he must not ruin this outing, he must not rush anything and let his feelings flew naturally to Jongwoon.
Kibum held four entrance tickets in his hand, and on his waiting alone he started to again feel the fatigue and sleepiness of his body. But the thoughts about Jongwoon made him forget about them, this moment was too precious, he would like to sacrifice his sleeping time, and anything, to meet Jongwoon again.
After what it felt like a century for Kibum, he saw the Eunhae couple and Jongwoon entering the gate, only he didn't expect another person who was tagging along with the three.
Siwon.
Jongwoon walked beside Siwon and both men smiled at each other shyly from time to time, cheeks flushed red as Kibum eyed them with his hope shattered around inside his heart.
Finally Donghae saw him and waved, his expression was a bit guilty and awkward. Eunhyuk whispered something to his boyfriend, apparently to calm the cute man down because a moment later Donghae seemed to control his expression back to normal.
"Hi guys," Kibum smiled at the four but nevertheless avoid Jongwoon's and Siwon's gaze. "Ready to have fun?"
"Kyaa Kibummie how have you been?" Donghae got the nerves as he hugged the youngest man a little too tight. "Sorry we couldn’t tell you about Siwon. We just met them here in last minute," he whispered to Kibum's ear and the younger could only nod weakly and smiled to Eunhyuk.
"Kibum-ah… long time no see, but I always love to watch you on TV," Siwon smiled to him before he brought the younger to his embrace. "You should visit us in the dorm more often, I forgot when's the last time I see you."
"Hyung…" Kibum withdrew himself from the taller man's embrace and smiled, "you are also so busy right? How can I ever met you there, or, anywhere?"
Hearing that Siwon laughed. "Still my snarky dongsaeng. Let's go for a cup of coffee then sometimes."
"For sure, Hyung. By the way do you two…" Kibum smiled to Siwon and casually pointed his thumb to Jongwoon. "You know…"
"So… will we go in or…?" Jongwoon's voice quickly interrupted Kibum's question with a demanding tone. Automatically distracting Siwon from Kibum.
"Ah right! Let's go in then!" Donghae chirped, but letting Siwon and Jongwoon walked first in front of him, Eunhyuk, and Kibum.
Kibum could only watch as Siwon and Jongwoon walked side by side in front of them, and by then realized how they wore matching long coats, beige. They looked so lovely from behind, with Jongwoon tilted his head up to talk to Siwon and the taller smiled hearing his every words. Both of them stopped for a moment, buying an additional ticket for Siwon.
"FYI, they're NOT getting back together," Donghae said quickly, realizing Kibum's gaze to the couple in front of them. "Just managing their friendship back."
"Or we hope so," Eunhyuk answered, raising his brows. "Be rational, Hae, they were out for jogging together this morning."
"Enough hyungs. Stop it. I just wanna be friends with Jongwoon hyung. His relationship has nothing to do with me, not anymore." Kibum sounded angrier than what he meant to and he immediately regret it.
"I'm sorry Kibum. Such a fail matchmaker we are," Kibum catched Donghae's sad tone and it cringed inside his heart.
"No it's really… I'm okay."
"Are you sure?" Donghae asked him, while Eunhyuk was silent with his both hands inside his long coat.
"Uh… but I'm not sure, I mean, I'm trapped here with you two, the famous EunHae couple…" Kibum smirked, causing Donghae to laugh and Eunhyuk slapped the youngest's head playfully. "I just hope I won't be vomitting anything today because of your cheesiness hyungs."
"Brat!"
The three men finally decided to just follow Jongwoon and Siwon anywhere. The athmosphere wasn't that good between the five men, apparently, because Jongwoon and Siwon seemed to detach themselves from the younger three.
Sometimes Kibum felt like he's being a huge cockblock for Eunhyuk and Donghae, like when they were riding a jet coaster (Jongwoon was dragging Siwon there while pouting sweetly making Siwon melt and Kibum flustered), Eunhyuk sat behind him while he's with Donghae. Or when they ride the tornado, Kibum unconsciously sat in between the couple (while Siwon hold Jongwoon's hands very dearly). During Niagara, Eunhyuk was beside him, wet from head to toe while Donghae was behind them shielding his body with his bag (Jongwoon was barely wet because Siwon brought him in his embrace and the splashing water all went to him).
Kibum pretended not to know that probably the EunHae couple felt guilty for him, for not knowing the fact of Jongwoon and Siwon, and that they were making it up to him by not letting him be alone for a minute. Kibum was so thankful for his hyungs' consideration but he thought he need some times to be alone, but of course, not to think about Jongwoon and Siwon.
The five men sat inside the Twisting Teacup now, which was one of Jongwoon's personal favorite. For a moment Kibum became so numb as he laughed with the two couples and cracked some jokes to each one of his hyungs. Donghae received special treatment from Jongwoon as he started to feel nauseaus while sitting beside him. Jongwoon caressed the dongsaeng's head softly while Siwon cooed at their sweetness and Eunhyuk mocked his boyfriend.
"Look at him… I never know why I'm dating you Hae, such a chicken!"
"Hyuk!" Jongwoon glared playfully at the dancing machine of SuJu, still rubbing Donghae's forehead.
"Hyung, I don't want to date him anymore but he said he'll go suicide if I dare to leave him… that's why I'm keeping up with him…" said Donghae weakly, closing his eyes apparently enjoying his hyung's treatment, but nevertheless still smirking to his boyfriend.
"Yeah tell that to your mama…" Eunhyuk laughed and pointed his finger to Jongwoon. And Jongwoon blushed all of sudden because of Siwon.
"Papa wants mama to rub his head too," the muscular man then rest his head on Jongwoon's shoulder.
Laughter emanated inside the cup as Jongwoon brushed Siwon's head from his shoulder jokily, face as red as a tomato and mumbling something like "I'm not the mama!"
Kibum never realized he had gripped the stir wheel a little too tight that it hurt his hands. Suddenly he felt his laughter was too weird for his liking.
They headed straight to a deli inside the wonderland's area because Donghae needed some rest, and Jongwoon wanted a hot dog. The place was neat and not too big, and it was quite warm inside, with fluffy sofas for each booth. The five men chose a booth and Kibum threw his body to the seat happily.
"I'll go to the restroom, are you alright?" Kibum barely heard Siwon say to Jongwoon with low volume and watched silently as the smaller man nodded and tell him to go.
Just then Kibum realized the fact that he was alone, with Jongwoon on the booth. Apparently Donghae was asking for aspirin to the waiters on the counter and Eunhyuk also went to the restroom with Siwon.
Silence was thick and Kibum felt his mind suffocated by it. Hesitantly he glanced to Jongwoon who sat across him near the wall, checking his phone, probably not aware of Kibum's state of mind.
Kibum really wanted to talk to him, but a thousand possibilities of hurtful rejection came to his mind. But… it's only a small talk. It won't hurt more than the rejection he had already received from the smaller, right? Plus he hadn't talk directly to him at all since they come to the wonderland. He wondered if the lead singer had realize.
It's now or never.
But Kibum never expected that Jongwoon would talk to him first.
"Hey Kibum-ah, why haven't you say hi to this hyung?" Jongwoon asked him with a small smile.
Jongwoon was talking to him, straightly, with a cute smile. For a moment Kibum's mind was trying too hard to accept it. Kibum felt like something inside his chest would burst.
"Hyu… hyung…" Kibum talked to the table like a stupid person.
"Ah, actually I want to be friends with you again, but… I understand if you don't," that small smile vanished from the older's lips.
In panic motion, Kibum grasped one of Jongwoon's hand on top of the table. "Yes… yes, hyung, let's be friends again…" Kibum stuttered, he couldn't help but let out a bright smile.
Awkwardly Jongwoon let his hand free from Kibum's grasp and smiled again to the younger. "Okay, dongsaeng."
The rest of the lunch time was a lot happier for Kibum, without reason. His burger tasted so delicious, perhaps it's the best burger in Seoul, Kibum wondered inside his mind. Once or twice he flashed a bright smile to a certain some one who was turning the smile back cutely.
"By the way, how's love life going, Kibum-ah? I heard from some fans that a pretty new actress is after you during the filming?" Siwon who sat beside Jongwoon asked with a naughty grin on his face. "New actresses… tsk."
Kibum felt his face flushed red because the table fell silent hearing Siwon's words. Donghae opened his mouth widely out of his conscious until Eunhyuk hold his boyfriend's chin to close his mouth. Jongwoon shifted uncomfortably on his seat, but acted as casual as possible and sent him a small smile.
Kibum couldn't believe his eyes for a second, he thought he saw Jongwoon nodded his head a little while looking into his eyes.
"How couldn't they? Kibum here is the lady killer, right, dongsaeng?" Jongwoon answered for him with a weird expression Kibum never knew before.
Kibum didn't know what to say.
"Uhm," they heard Eunhyuk clearing his throat before saying, "but Kibum is not fond of sassy girls, right Bummie?"
"No, Kibum likes pretty girls," Jongwoon calmly said as if it's final.
"Kibum will never date that actress. He likes someone who had been acquaitanced with him for a long time, and understood of his thinkings and choices." Eunhyuk said, glaring at Jongwoon.
"There are a lot of people with that criteria," Jongwoon said again.
"But only one had hurt him."
"Not if that person wasn't getting hurt first."
Kibum didn't understand what Jongwoon was playing.
"No, I don't date anyone at this moment, Siwon hyung," Kibum finally said to Siwon who seemed to be confused because of Eunhyuk and Jongwoon's bickering. "In fact, I just got some one broke my heart."
"Oh, who's that girl Bummie? You never tell me anything anymore," Jongwoon asked, almost too enthusiastic for Kibum's liking.
Eunhyuk and Donghae now glared at Jongwoon visibly from their seat, while Siwon's eyes getting brighter, ready for a juicy story.
"You know he wasn't a girl, hyung," Kibum said sternly while looking into Jongwoon's eyes.
Once again the table fell in silence.
"So it's a he! I never know you're into men, Kibum." A small smile plastered on Jongwoon's lips and he suddenly went up and walk away. "Excuse me gents, I need to use the restroom."
Kibum was sure he didn't suppose to see how Jongwoon's fingers brushed against Siwon's tigh slightly.
Kibum rose up from his seat, and while wiped his mouth with the table tissues, he mumbled something about restroom and went after Jongwoon.
"Hyung, please don't rub salts over my wound," Kibum grabbed one of Jongwoon's hand in front of the restroom, he had make sure nobody could see them.
"What are you talking about, Kibum-ah?" Jongwoon tilted his head innocently. "Let go of my hand, I need to pee."
"I don’t want you to say anything about my love life. I know you don't want Siwon hyung to find out the truth about us, then just don't say anything!"
Jongwoon set his hand free from the younger's hold and smirked. "There's no truth about us, dongsaeng. Siwon doesn't need to be covered from anything."
Something in Jongwoon's eyes hurt Kibum more than his rejection few weeks ago. Just, the magnae couldn't explain it.
"Hyung, I thought you wanna be my friend again, start a fresh one, but I guess I was wrong," Kibum said, devastated and broken. "You still hate me, don't you?"
Kibum hated himself for crying, but he just couldn't help it. Small, salty drops flew and wetting his cheeks and immediately he tried to wipe it with his backhand. All he wanted the last was for Jongwoon to see him crying desperately like this…
"Kibum-ah, Kibum-ah, I…" Jongwoon just stood there, petrified.
"Now I just want to be friends with you hyung. I already apologize for what I did to you in the past. I know how careless I was back then and recently, I know I was so careless for your feelings but please! Are my apologies not enough? What should I do?" Kibum whispered bitterly, tears still streaming down his face.
"Dongsaeng-ah… it's not like that!" Jongwoon's panic voice had made Kibum lifted his face to stare at the flustered, adorable face. "I don't hate you. Nor did I mean to hurt you. It's just… I don't want anyone to know about us."
"I was right," Kibum pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped all his tears. "I can accept your reason but please, don't say anything. It hurts hyung, hurts so bad."
"Why? Why should it hurt you?" Jongwoon's voice filled with disbelieve.
"Because it sounded to me that you don't believe in my feelings for you," it's hard to admit but Kibum knew he had to say it to the man in front of him. "It was like my feeling was nothing. Never existed."
"But you just wanna be friends with me right? You're over me, right?" Jongwoon asked, voice trembled a little and Kibum didn't like the vulnerableness in his voice.
Jongwoon looked so fragile and pale. Like a crystal doll.
"It seems like this time, I can't fulfill my wants Hyung. It's just this needs," Kibum pointed to his own heart. "This needs to be filled with you. Everything about you. Your laughs, your antics, your clumsiness, your smiles, your stories, even your rage… but the time for your love had passed me by long time ago and I misused it."
"I'm sorry…"
"No need to say sorry hyung. I just want you to be happy. That's it. I know you won't be happy loving me, not now," Kibum felt a single drop of tears again on his cheek as he lifted his right hand. "Friends? For real?"
Kibum was happy to see Jongwoon's pale face now gave him a little smile. It was the sweetest smile he had ever seen plastered on the older's lips, and he was sure to remember that smile forever.
"I'm sorry Kibum-ah."
Being a cockblock suddenly felt like nothing as their ferris wheel stopped for a moment at the top of the circle and Kibum saw how sweet Jongwoon was kissing Siwon inside their own cubicle under theirs.
Eunhyuk nudged Donghae's shoulder as the couple saw the moment too. A second later both of them was looking at the magnae with sad faces.
"So… they're back together. Good for them," Kibum said, and as usual, smiling his best.
"Are you okay, Kibum-ah?" Eunhyuk asked with concern and Donghae could only stare at his bestfriend in pity. "I know you and Yesung hyung were talking back then in the restroom… I thought everything will be good for you…"
"It may not be as good for me like it's good for Siwon hyung and Jongwoon hyung," Kibum said.
And their cubicle of ferris wheel went down.
***TBC
A/N: It's not the ending i swear!
A/N: been 4 months since the last time i updated this story, but i really don't mean to abandon this fic. I just lost of ideas back then, of how to continue this story. And i don't have that many time either... But i have written this chapter for times already before coming up with this.