Cheesecake (Chapter 1)
Title: Cheesecake (Chapter 1)
Characters: Kibum, Yesung, Heechul, Luna, mentions of Lee Sungjong
Pairing: KiSung
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG-15
Disclaimer: I only own the story and the plot
Summary: Kibum could not fight the wave of memories a cheesecake had brought him.
A/N: A series I write to celebrate Kim Kibum and Kim Jongwoon's birthday! Happy birthday my 2nd OTP! ^^
As usual, he entered the café gracefully. Sitting on his favorite table, he stared outside the window while waiting for nothing. His regular cup of hot cappuccino came after five minutes, while he engrossedly staring at the crowd of Seoul citizens or office workers through the large glass of the window.
Kibum pretended to be oblivious to the fact that most waitresses and one or two waiters of the café always prying him with hungry eyes everytime he decided to spent his lunch time sitting there. Not only because of his celebrity status, his behaviour each day inevitably attracted each person to look at him twice.
Other people-business people, couples-were busy digging up to their food as they chatted animatedly with each other, or into their phone. But Kibum only sat there, ordering nothing than a cup of hot cappuccino. No appetizers, no main courses, no desserts.
Busily staring at the window as if his life depended on it, Kibum never give a damn about his surroundings as he sipped his cappuccino from time to time, lazily. The lively atmosphere of the café that's famous for their tiramisu never budged him, apparently.
Once or twice, groups of female students or young PR girls approached him shyly. Kibum was still a part of Super Junior after all, that's no surprise. Those girls were claiming as his or SuJu's fans, asking for signatures, handing presents, and slightly frowning in disappointment after Kibum told them he can't be photographed.
Once or twice, free drinks and desserts were sent to him from the more shy fans in the café. Kibum usually only smiled and ate those presents calmly, but if you know him enough, his expression was always seems like he's not enjoying what he ate/drank at all, unless it's a chocolate cake. Probably he's only showing some grateful gestures, but his basic attitude was always clamming down on himself, excluding his soul away from people.
"Sir, do you want to order anything else? Our desserts, probably?"
Hearing the soft voice of a female, Kibum finally shifted his gaze off the busy street. He eyed the waitress, who smiled at him patiently while holding a small notebook and a pen, obviously waiting for him to order since his cup of cappuccino was already empty without him realizing.
Kibum smiled half-heartedly as he shaked his head.
"No, thank you."
He was going to go back to his previous gazing activity when the waitress decided not to give up.
"Today is our special day, Sir.. Our chef is having his birthday, today and he wants to share some love to the customers!"
Kibum was stunned. Never in his entire history of visiting the café, he got asked by a waitress not only once, but thrice.
"I'm Luna, going to be at your service, Kibum-ssi.. And please," she insisted with a hand gesture to Kibum who was trying to interrupt. "…please accept his gift, it's only a cake. Oh, and he is also your fan!" the waitress winked at a gaping Kibum before quickly added, "Wait a second Kibum-ssi, let me grab the present."
Kibum still couldn’t say anything because this kind of stuff never happened to him before. Who's the waitress' name again? What normal for Kibum was waiters and waitresses nodding awkwardly, or shyly, or firmly to him after his order of cappuccino and his rejection of any other orders. No one ever trying to pick another sort of conversation with him hence his cold attitude.
The same waitress from before went back to him, carrying a plate with a slice of a creamy-coloured cake on it. Her blonde, short hair waving gleefully as she sent his current customer a smile.
"A slice of cheesecake for Kim Kibum, made by our café's maknae chef, Lee Sungjong! He's turning 19 today."
She almost carelessly placed the cheese cake, if it's not by Kibum's slightly irritated expression.
"Thank you..er.." Kibum said awkwardly to the waitress.
"Luna, you can call me Luna if you don't mind, Sir."
Luna pointed at the name tag on her left chest and smiling.
"I hope you enjoy this," Luna slightly bowed at Kibum, whose face was already showing that he's not amused by her attitude. "but please give Sungjong-ssi an autograph, Kibum-ssi? He's your fan during your day with… the boy band…" Luna's smile fainted seeing the man's expression and she quickly shoved the small notebook that she had it hanging on her apron a while ago. She picked up the pen and looking at Kibum's stoic face, anxiously positioned it in the front of the notebook before the other person.
Kibum tried not to sigh as he then smiled slightly at Luna while signing the paper.
"What is this birthday boy's name again?"
"Oh.. Sungjong. Lee Sungjong. He's 19 by now."
Kibum wrote Sungjong's name aside his signature, followed by some standard messages his brain automatically ordered his hands to type regarding a fan's birthday.
It's been years since the last time he signed anything for a birthday fan. Basically realizing that that kind of moment was indeed something precious. He enjoyed every milisecond of this process, imagining how happy the birthday fan would be when their favorite member of a boyband gave them a birthday conglatory message.
"Mm… Sir? Kibum-ssi?"
Hearing the waitress' call, Kibum quickly handed her the autograph and smiled again.
"Thank you very much Kibum-ssi, my dongsaeng Sungjong will really appreciate this!"
Luna said happily with a wide smile. Her smile was so sincere that Kibum slowly realizing that the corners of his mouth were also forming some sort of smile. Some sort of rare smile.
"It's my pleasure, Luna-ssi."
"Wow Sir, this is the first time I see you smile like that in this café," Luna blatantly said. "You seem genuinely happy just now, not like usual!"
Kibum frowned at what the waitress just said.
It's so out of context, and too… personal.
But before he could say anything, the bubbly waitress went away with a big smile plastered in her face.
Kibum shaked his head and let out his breath. Finally he's alone. That waitress was so damn rude just now, talking like that to a customer! Kibum facepalmed. Such unprofessional behaviour of a waitress…
Then his eyes went straight to the cake when he lifted his head.
Of course it's a cheesecake.
Great, Kibum cursed inside, as he hesitantly sliced a small piece and shove it into his mouth. He's trying hard to keep his expression as if he really enjoyed the cake, because he could sense a bunch of the café's waiters and waitresses boring a hole to his back, watching him being grateful for a piece of present from a 'fan', that was their co-worker.
***
Kibum still went to that café despite the unpleasant memory he had with one of the waitress the other day.
As soon as he sat on his usual spot, glancing mindlessly over the crowd of that business district, some one tapped his shoulder softly. Kibum was genuinely surprised that the person was the waitress from yesterday.
"Sir, here's your cappuccino as usual," Luna said while placing the hot cup in front of the stunned customer. Seeing her customer's shocked state, the waitress chuckled a little. "There's no one in this café who is oblivious about what you have been ordering since forever, Kibum-ssi."
The actor chose to smile politely.
"Thank you."
"It's our pleasure," Luna said, somehow sound so happy as she retreated herself.
Kibum played on his hot cup using his teaspoon, and stared into nothing. It's not that he's oblivious about all the people-who were often to see him being there as a regular customer-were thinking about him. He completely knows.
Some people thought that he's pitiful, being alone sitting in a café and stared into nothing through the glass window almost every day. Those people probably thought that he'd got kicked out from his boyband. Some people thought he's regretting his choice for being inactive in the band's activities for so long, calling that it's his own fault to be so selfish and leaving his band members to pursue his own dream.
Now that he seemed so lonely and barely showing himself on television…
Those people looked at him with some kind of irritated expressions plastered on their faces, and they found it unnecessary to hide their hate for Kibum.
Kibum was used to it. He'd gotten numb of those feelings, or so he thought. His scars were basically fully healed already.
It's autumn that day in September. People went by in sweaters on top of their button-up shirts. Some young boys wore a beanie with a light-fabricated hoodies. Some highly-fashionable girls already wore ankle-strapped boots while walking along the way with their business attire. People were starting to warm theirselves.
Suddenly he felt an urge to eat a slice of cheesecake.
Kibum blinked in wonder as he sipped his cappuccino slowly. His coffee tasted as perfect as usual, that's why he kept on coming to this cafe. But there was a weird taste in his mouth.
Silently he swayed his tongue all the way inside his mouth, trying to trace what kind of weird feelings it was that make him wanted to taste a cake he hated so bad. No, he could sense nothing in his mouth beside the familiar trace of his cappuccino, so he tried to glance at his surroundings. Probably it's the aroma of his neighbor's cake that poked to his smelling bud.
"Is there anything that I can help you with, Sir?"
A waiter suddenly stand beside him with notes and pen ready, probably sensing the need of the particular customer to order something else. Kibum felt slightly ashamed for being caught red-handed while he's confused, so he just firmly shook his head.
"No, thank you."
He continued his gazing activity again for some minutes, but those weird wants of a slice of cheesecake came back again. Teased his tongue inside his mouth, making him salivating.
Kibum had always hating on cheesecakes. He found them tasted weird and thick inside his mouth and he couldn't manage it much longer to taste the creamy texture of cheese. He simply just failed to sense any edible character of the dessert that so many people loved. He usually chose other dessert that's easier to taste without creating too many "turbulance" inside his stomach, like chocolate cake, in a rare occasion. After all, Kibum had never been really fond of desserts.
His action then surprised himself.
He called a waiter and order a slice of original cheesecake.
Without waiting much, the dessert came to him, being brought by a smiley Luna.
"A slice of original cheesecake, Sir..."
Kibum barely lifted his head to look at the waitress. He didn't want anyone to talk to him right now, when his own mind was clouded by confusion and uncertainty. He recognized Luna as the too-bubbly waitress just by her voice, and to avoid her, he didn't even say thank you.
After that waitress went away, Kibum starting to eye the dessert in front of him. It's colour was cream-like, made him for a second want to think of it as a sweet cream-cake. He hesitated to slice the cake using his spoon, and after closing his eyes for a while, he took a spoonfull into his mouth.
He activated all his sensing buds of the tongue while devouring the small piece. Today, he wanted to fully tasting the dessert he had been despising for his entire life, putting aside any prejudice he had always have for the particular food. If before he ate those desserts without even letting his tongue to recognize the mixture of taste a bit, that time Kibum really want to truly, if possible, enjoy the cake.
First of all, it's not all that vomit-conducing. It's texture wasn't as thick as the ones he remembered all this whole time, it's not as smelly as he always hated before, either.
Kibum chewed the piece inside his mouth using his teeth, slowly and carefully to savour the taste. He was jolted by surprise a moment later, when he feel the soft wave of a mixture between saltiness, sweetness, and even, oily taste (?) all in a balance proportion that actually felt nice. It's not all that fantastic to Kibum's taste, but enough to made him realize that this cake deserve all the popularity it has, the reason why so many people actually love it.
He wondered why he had never sense this delicacy of a piece of cheesecake before. He thought that probably he was the only person on earth who had missed this graceful feelings a cheesecake the whole time. Now he couldn't really be sure whether he should say he like it or not, but actually he wanted to feel more, and more of the unique dessert.
But there was something that Kibum found it strange about his sudden likeliness of cheesecake. What was that? He couldn't even answer it himself.
It only gave him a weird feeling, some kind of bitterness, left a void inside his heart he simply couldn't explain. He felt like there's something worth reminisced of that dessert. Some memories? All Kibum understood was there's something poked his mind, told him that he was forgetting something important.
Since that day, Kibum always made sure to order a piece of cheesecake on his every visits to the café. Three times a week of his visits, he ordered the same one kind of dessert to accompany his regular single cappuccino. For days, Kibum ignored the presence of a pang inside his heart, pondered whenever he sat inside the café, eyeing his little cheesecake before he got to taste a bit of it.
Luna came to deliver Kibum's order that day in October. Her face was radiated in smile as usual, and Kibum had grown accustomed of her 'friendly' attitude towards the customer. Although he always wonder why this particular waitress was always acted different than the other waitress, he couldn't admit that Luna's cheerful voice sometimes lifted his mood quite a bit, to a more lighter one.
"So, Kibum-ssi, what makes you order our cheesecake every time, now?" she asked as she placed that dessert on top of the glass surface of the table in front of Kibum. "I thought you're only fond of the chocolate ones."
This person, Kibum thought inside his head, was the bravest, if not the rudest, waitress ever. She was also a great observer somehow.
He only smiled without looking at the speaker then took his spoon to steer his cappuccino absent-mindedly. It was an action he usually do by habit, although he never added any sugar inside his coffee.
"Is it because Sungjong's cheesecake is the best cheesecake you've ever tasted?" Luna added annoyingly. "Our chefs here are the best, Kibum-ssi, I can proudly say that to you. Although Sungjong's still young, his dishes are magnificent…" she giggled when Kibum finally tilted his head to her with his brows frowned.
"Thank you very much," the actor said coldly to the waitress, hoping that this one nuisance of a waitress would voluntarily go away from his side after she finished her definition of a job.
But Luna was no usual waitress.
"I hope you enjoy, Kibum-ssi! Well, actually the best way to devour the taste of a cheesecake is by having your beloved one feed you one sweet of piece!" she smiled sweetly and winked her eye. "Good day, Sir!"
The waitress went away happily as usual, leaving Kibum amused. As the days grows, the things she said to him were getting more, and more personal. Some people had to teach her some manners, Kibum thought, but as a gentleman, he couldn't do anything inappropriate to the cheerful person. It was just against his nature to act unpolite to a woman. His frowning gestures was the hardest he had ever give to a woman, and it's only comes out when they acted over the fence towards him.
Geez, she's a woman afterall.
No matter how annoying she was, Kibum didn’t have the heart to teach her a lesson. Or, probably, he should think of such methods now? Kibum sighed as he started to slice his cheese cake. The dessert finally made it's way to get the noble position as Kibum's grip to find a peace of mind, but a sudden thinking made him wasn't so sure anymore about that.
As he chewed his first piece, Luna's recent words went up to his mind.
"…the best way to devour the taste of a cheesecake is by having your beloved one feed you one sweet of piece!"
Kibum felt a sharp pang into his heart as a faint slides of memories was filling up his mind.
"Kibum-ah, open your mouth! You have to taste this! Believe me, this is so delicious!"
Jongwoon's laughter filled their booth of a regular deli both of them used to visit back then when they were still trainees. It was a small deli near the building of SM Entertainment, where most trainees prefer to go to during breaks because the food were nice and the price were the most affordable for them.
"Ewww, no way! No way!"
Kibum pushed Jongwoon's smaller hand away from him as he gave the cheesecake a dirty look.
Jongwoon gave him the best eyesmile he could manage as he's teasingly trying again.
"You're not a human if you can't take this! This is cheesecake, for God's sake, Kibum-ah! Not rubbers or something! Ahaha!"
Kibum groaned in annoyance as he had to swift his head left and right to avoid the attack of cheesecake Jongwoon forced him.
"Stop it, Hyung! I hate that cake! Gross!"
Still laughing annoyingly, Jongwoon then shoved the slice of cheesecake into his own mouth. Kibum watched in disturbance as his hyung calmly closing his eyes as if it was really delicious. Jongwoon then making a face gesture indicated that the cake was giving him a tongue-gasm.
"Hmmm… delicious… unfortunately you're not a human, Kibum-ah!"
Kibum smacked his hyung's chest lightly while pouting, causing the man to laugh harder.
Cheesecake was Jongwoon's favourite dessert all the time Kibum knew him.
So that was the thing bothering him for days without him realize. That was the void inside his mind he couldn't replace with another thoughts.
How could he forget about cheesecake? How could he forget about Jongwoon
Kibum stayed stoic as he put both of his palm to his forehead, totally supporting his head from falling down. Wave of nostalgia was taking all over him. Actually, more than nostalgic, those memories were the ones he pushed away to the back of his mind.
Those were the memories hurt him the most, once.
***
Kibum avoided that café for some time. Not that he hated that café, nor he hated Luna the waitress because of what she said. He was just avoiding the cheesecake.
He could not explain his feelings to a dessert. All the cheesecakes in this world, or the ones that the young café's chef Sungjong made, were innocent. They were all oblivious of Kibum's feelings and wound.
Or should he actually blame the waitress this time? Luna was just basically saying something a friendly waitress would have say to customers, wasn't she? Kibum believed she had no intentions to hurt him nor any of the café's customers, it's just the matter of how and what she chose to say for being a friendly person she was.
But after a month of absence, Kibum found himself entering the café once more in the afternoon.
It was a cold afternoon in November, the winter was coming and everyone inside the café was wearing thick clothes to warm them up. Luna and other waitress and waiters were busily moving here and there taking and delivering orders. Kibum silently hoped that the particular noisy waitress won't recognize him on his coat and beanie. He didn't want her to ruin his mood.
Hot fogs that emanated from cups of beverages, sweet smell of desserts, and the delicious aromas of light-main courses poking his nose as he chose an empty booth. He could see his favorite spot on the corner of the café was taken, and he felt lucky he actually could manage to get one in such a crowded place.
The café was dim-lited, as expected during winter. The walls and ceilings made of wood stayed with it's vernished colour, giving the customers a warm feeling. The people he saw beside his booth were ordering pancakes and sandwiches, remind him in time that it was dinner time already.
Five minutes later, the person he was actually waiting for had come.
"Hey, Kibum-ah!" he saluted Kibum as the young man sipped his cappuccino.
"Heechul hyung!"
Kibum went up to hug the older man, who was currently also absent from Super Junior activities to fulfill his mandatory service to the country. Once they sat comfortably on the sofa, a waiter came to take Heechul's orders.
"So, it's one of the rare time you actually have the will to invite this old buddy of yours to get some drink. And it's not even alcohols you can order here."
Kibum just smiled, staring at his hyung who seemed to change a bit.
"You look lonely, hyung," Kibum commented, ignoring the older's speech, looking at Heechul's somehow lonesomer eyes.
"Look who's talking," Heechul answered calmly, when the previous waiter coming to him with his drink, a cup of plain espresso. "Actually I never treasured them as much before."
Kibum knew Heechul was referring to their team of boyband. Who else?
"You had already accustomed with this, but it is hard for me, Kibum-ah. For me, being apart from Leeteuk and the noisy guys for a really long time is not pleasant, at all. They're having fun on concerts while I'm alone, doing nothing at night."
Kibum smiled bitterly. It was spoken unlike the Heechul he knew, but he could understand.
"How could you manage yourself through all of these loneliness, Kibum? We've been together for years when you drifted away from us. It's only been a year for me, but I'm already tortured by this emptiness. It's even worse than the time when Geng went away."
"Hyung, do you really think I've grown accustomed to this? I guess I've been acting too good," Kibum put a piece of cheesecake into his mouth.
Heechul didn’t answer, instead he shifted his attention to what Kibum was eating. His brow furrowed, and Kibum swore to God he could see the way his hyung's brain working, processing all the information so fast.
"You're acting good and you're eating a cheesecake now, yeah, I acknowledge those parts of your habit."
Heechul's sarcasm went into Kibum's mind, but before he say what he actually wanted to say, the older man added.
"I see you're missing him."
"Hyung!"
"What? Am I correct?"
Kibum went silent. He only stared at the dessert in front of him.
"Why didn't you call him yourself, Snow White-ah?"
"I.. I did, Hyung." Kibum admitted slowly, lifted his face to see Heecul was calmly sipping his expresso. "But he already changed his number."
"Since when? Since when you finally realize there is this person missing his favorite dongsaeng so bad? He probably will never admit it but I know he really miss you."
There was a cheer from the other corner of the room. Apparently some one was having their birthday celebrated by a crowd of friends on the table. Kibum eyed the joyful atmosphere of the group who were shouting "Happy birthday!" together and smiling happily.
"You don't want to know," Kibum answered. "Boring story."
"It's not fair for him, you know that? You never call Jongwoon since that day. And he still knew nothing. You're being mean to him." Heechul swung his teaspoon playfully on the table, smiled to himself, then looked at his petrified dongsaeng.
The group of cheering friends were still there, currently chit-chatting happily amongst themselves. Finally Kibum saw the birthday girl. She's a petite, pretty foreigner, smiling happily with a cute birthday hat on the top of her head.
Then he catched Heechul's eyes. They weren't judging him or anything. That's the magical eyes of Heechul, they seemed so understanding. They made you trust the man, they made you wanna share all your problems to him, because they speak care.
"I can't, Hyung.. it’s still really hurt me."
"He hurt you? How?"
Kibum averted his gaze to the cup of coffee.
"I don't wanna talk about it. I just want you to know that I'm still valueing him… so much."
"As much as before?" the older man smirked.
Suddenly Heechul snapped his fingers to call the waiter/waitress, and out of nowhere, Luna appeared beside their booth.
"What can I do to help you, Sir?"
"I want a chocolate cake."
But the waitress didn’t answer as she was gaping seeing Heechul.
"Omo… Kim Heechul-ssi!"
"Sstt… bring me my chocolate cake, ok? Thank you."
"I am your fan, Heechul-ssi! Please give me your signature!"
Luna gave him her notebook she used to take orders and smiled a thousand times happier than before. Then she tilted her eyes to look at Kibum.
"Oh you are also here, Kibum-ssi… Long time no see! Sungjong was missing his favorite customer, because he loved it to death making you your cheesecake…"
"Here, please bring my order safely, thank you…" Heechul sensed danger, passing her the notes he had signed.
"Luna, Sir, my name is Luna.. Please add my name to your signature," the waitress claimed as if she's not realizing her unprofessional act at all.
Kibum hung his head low between his knees as the waitress's words just embarrass him.
"Thank you," Luna said happily to Heechul. "I will be back with your order in five minutes."
"What a waitress, eh? She seems to know so much about you," Heechul laughed when Luna has gone.
"Shut up hyung. She's really noisy but I can't do anything. She's a woman after all."
"But she seems friendly and honest," Heechul commented, looking at the Luna who was waiting for his order on the counter. "And you seemed to like this cheesecake for a long time already. Is it really special?" Heechul took a slice of Kibum's cake.
Kibum glared at the tease.
"Umm," Heechul's swallowing the cake as he judged it. "Actually it's not that fantastic, you know. I can recommend you a place with better cheesecake than this," he smirked teasingly at the dongsaeng. "But probably you will take any cheesecake good by now, even if I'm the one who made it."
Heechul's chocolate cake came, fortunately it's not Luna who brought it to them. She was delivering somebody else's order. Kibum saw her staring sadly to Heechul's back as she realized it's her colleague who was delivering his order.
"For me, changing my favorite dessert is so difficult. I liked chocolate cake right from the start, and so did Hangeng. I didn't need to change my favorite dessert, because the man I love until now is still fond of this cake. But if only Geng liked tiramisu from the start, I would change to eat tiramisu as well. I will love everything he loves."
"What are you implying, Hyung? Stop it." Kibum didn’t know why he get irritated by Heechul's words.
"You are in love with Jongwoon. And if it's possible, you're falling deeper."
***