It sure was! But, please know that YOU have the strength to set yourself free. You are in the process already. I learned the hard way that the only way to feel not depressed is to trust myself first. It took years, not days to realize I was not perfect, mind, but good. I hope you know that about yourself, if not now, then soon. When I saw you at the memorial celebration for Paul, I saw in your eyes that you are good. I saw it all those years ago, too. Or I'd never have become your friend. {{{hugs}}}
I don't think that depressed is the word I would use for a description. I trust myself, its others around me that I don't, and perfect I know that I am far from, nothing/nobody in this world is perfect and those that think they are, are the ones who end up alone forever. Yes, I realize not everyone is bad, or untrustworthy but from my experiences, once you let someone in, it all goes down hill from there. I'll give someone the shirt off my back until the day they hurt me, then they would wish that they never had met me. I don't take to pain/lies/being hurt lightly, nor do I take to hurting those I care about. My old English teacher signed my year book "To the girl who always pretends be angry but really has a heart of gold", well, I don't pretend, I just don't let anyone inside anymore, It's like Pink Floyd Says "If you want to find out what's behind these cold eyes, you'll just have to claw your way through" Very few people have I trusted enough to let them see the real me.
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