Shige's essay #9 Myojo 2007-03 - Pride

Apr 10, 2007 13:43

Next one! Only one more to go, then we'll have to wait for new ones.

#9: Myojo 2007-03 - Pride

The other day, I watched the movie "Bushi no ichibun" in which Kimura Takuya-san plays the main role. Until then, I didn't have many opportunities to watch historical films, and I felt that it was a genre that didn't have much to do with me, but since I was sure to be able to learn something from the acting of a respected senpai, I went to the movie theater.

This work easily wiped away the considerable image I had had until then that historical films are unapproachable, with its uncomplicated story organization combined with the fact that Kimura Takuya who is highly valued in contemporary theater played the main role of a blind warrior. Even if historical films don't have many fans, I guess many people watched this one simply because Kimura-san appears in it. While I was watching Kimura-san's acting - Kimura-san who fascinates the audience all by himself - in the back of my mind the question appeared, "If that was you, how would you play this role?" But I don't have the confidence I could play the role of a blind warrior so realistically. Once more, it was a very compact work.

If that was me. Not if I played the role of a blind warrior, but if I was a blind warrior. Warriors are frequently raised as examples for men's admired ideals. Everyone has a part of himself that wishes to possess this mental strength, this manliness of living by the sword, being prepared to lay down your life during a fight, having a strong will. If you ask what a warrior-like guy is like, I'm probably not the only one who imagines someone tough, grim and wild.

If I really was a warrior, could I have lived in those times? In any case, I'll do a simulation of my outward appearance. First, the topknot. I'm one of those Japanese who have a broad face, but I have the confidence that I could get my hair up into one of those topknots without much difficulties. If it suits me or not is another question. I haven't ridden a horse before, but I guess with practice I could become able to ride. In regards to the kimono, compared to western clothing it lets the wind through more easily, so that might not be for me who freezes easily. What's more, can someone as conservative as me swing a sword? Do I have the guts to put my life on the line for my feudal lord, engaging the enemy without a chance to win? I think I'd first say, "I can't get into the mood..." and then run away. And on top of that, a society where all the people coming and going are carrying a sword is worse than one where some have a gun. If I had been born into a family of warriors...

If you lose a battle, even if you survived, you cut your own belly. You put your pride above everything else, you're manly to your death. To a sissy like me that seems like an exaggerated degree of manliness. I sometimes doubt it, "Did they really do something like that?" I wonder if all warriors were this courageous. The people featured in dorama and movies surely weren't all brave.

But the people who were not able to fight bravely may have also had a hard time. They might have had an inferiority complex towards the brave warriors, thinking, "I can't keep up with the other warriors...", and started to hate themselves. But certainly these people also had a lot of pride. They absolutely had the will power of warriors. Maybe they had even more pride that they continued to uphold strongly than the brave people because they had such a hard time.

This thinking about being a warrior that I did here will surely become nourishment for me when I will play the role of a warrior in a dorama or movie someday. No, I think it will also become nourishment for me as a man, as a human. So I'll prepare now to meet the warrior Katô Shigeaki. Meeting a warrior means having a warrior's pride and challenging him. I also want to look at myself and improve, with the pride that I certainly have even in this weak body, keeping a "small warrior" in my heart.

♔ other: translations - DO NOT USE

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