SPECIAL WEATHER STATEMENT

[newredshoes]

Because I am a nerd, I like checking on all the special weather announcements that pop up during the many times I check the weather. Today's is just... wow. The passive voice is worthy of being applauded.TODAY WILL BE A DAY OF MANY FORMS OF PRECIPITATION. A CHANCE OF FREEZING RAIN AND SLEET WILL EXIST LATER THIS MORNING.
There's more, but it's less

Comments

[swankyfunk]

LO, THERE WILL BE PANIC IN THE STREETS.

[newredshoes]

PRECIPITATE! PRECIPITATE!

[brewsternorth]

Yikes, keep safe/warm!

[newredshoes]

Fingers crossed! I made the mistake of not layering enough today, even with breaking out my gigantor down coat that everyone else in Chicago wears. It'll be an adventure! (We might get to leave early today, though. Somehow I feel it'll be nicer if we get to go home while it's still light out.)

[philena]

Because I feel it incumbent upon my self-bestowed role as linguist, allow me to comment that there is no actual passive voice in that announcement. "Exist" is certainly a non-agentive verb, but because it is not transitive, it cannot be passivized.

[newredshoes]

Is "passivized" a real verb?

[philena]

Ooh, ouch. It's in the OED, but they quote Noam Chomsky as their proof of usage.

[tempestsarekind]

Oof, I hope your travel goes as smoothly as possible! There is something weirdly fortune-cookie about that weather report, though: "today will be a day of many types of precipitation" is much more epic and mysterious than, you know, freezing rain and snow.

[newredshoes]

Apparently we get lots of that too! The rest of the report just wasn't interesting enough to share, although being as allcapsy as it is, it is sure to be inspiring of panic. :)

[skew_whiff]

You know, I think the newspapers in this country could publish 'TODAY WILL BE A DAY OF MANY FORMS OF PRECIPITATION' as their weather forecast every single day, and nine times out of ten they'd be right.

[newredshoes]

That's true! I'm trying to decide how it fits in with other current regional headline trends, whether it's for or against a pattern that produces beauties like USELESS GOBSHITES.

[skew_whiff]

THAT IS KIND OF AMAZING. I also love the sheer self-aggrandising ridiculousness of the 'better 'cause we're Irish' tagline.

The English version of the Star is just shameful in comparison. There are basically two categories of headline that Star stories fall into: either a story about a TV celebrity that 9 times out of 10 is either mere speculation or completely fabricated, or OH NOES MUSLIMS. (Sometimes I wonder why I want to be a journalist, given how thoroughly I despise the British press.)