Concrit - Poem

[newbie_2u]

This came to me all of a sudden and pretty much wrote itself in about 20 minutes or so. Now what I would love to know is what you think of it? I would love to devote more time to poetry but, having been out of the game for a while am looking for constructive comments to help me improve.

ConnectionAs I fly high into the sky

Comments

[lextenou]

Um...wow.

Totally speechless.

[newbie_2u]

Thank you so much! But please don't remain speechless for too long - I love reading your stories.

[newbie_2u]

Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope to write more. I'd forgotten how amazing poetry can be.

[greenovalfruit]

Lovely! I'm sure people could come up with reasons not to like it but I really, really did. You're so clever!

[newbie_2u]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! To be honest I wouldn't mind if someone were to provide constructive comments regarding my work. I believe it can only make me better at what I am doing.

[greenovalfruit]

Mmm... you could always join a poetry comm or something? I'm all like YEAH I NEED CRITICISM FOR ENGLISH and then I get it and I want to curl into a ball and cry :P By the way, have you friended my school journal, extended_me? Go do that now. It's anonymous so no saying my name but read the first thing I've posted and tell me what you think! :)

[newbie_2u]

Yes, I did apply to a comm and am waiting to hear from them. I did friend your school journal and will do my best to comment on your work. Perhaps today.

a few good words

[shantikarma]

hi,
I liked it, there was a feeling of self discovery in the stanzas and then found love that appealed to me

Re: a few good words

[newbie_2u]

Thank you so much for the kind words! You are spot on as far as what I was hoping to convey.