Fanfiction: Liberty to Die (Resident Evil - Damnation)
Title: "Liberty to Die"
Status: Complete
Fandom: Resident Evil - Damnation
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Leon S. Kennedy, Buddy aka Alexander "Sasha" Kozachenko
Disclaimer: Copyright @ Capcom. No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: T
Genre: character introspection, friendship
Warning: suicide attempt
Summary: Your life is no longer your own. We have to continue living.
Liberty to Die
Having no energy left, cramping legs giving out on him, Sasha sat down hard on the steps. Hand pressed to his chest he felt the parasite move, tearing him open from the inside, worming its way further.
He tried to breathe through the pain, but ended up coughing. His throat felt raw and swollen, bile rising from his churning stomach. He swallowed thickly, not surprised to taste blood.
He thought about picture-books turning to ashes, drawings with matchstick families and smiling faces, eaten away slowly by flames as the school building collapsed, killing Irina and their young charges.
He remembered alcohol, too much of it, rumors about freedom fighters, a new purpose, and the first time he held a gun, hand kept steady by Judanovich. He remembered what grief and fear and caring felt like, now that the adrenaline broke down in his system.
He remembered why he had to forget, that emotions were crippling.
Sasha looked up, and after a moment, the dark spots dancing in front of his eyes faded. In their stead pulsed a blur of blue, green and black, that finally resolved itself into the American.
...Leon.
He was leaning on the marble balustrade, watching the city below. From here, morning sunlight and distance would hide the destruction, leaving sprawling streets and empty market stalls, beautiful buildings with Baroque facades framed by well-kept gardens, glowing like burnished gold.
But the wind ruffling their hair carried the stench of cordite, brick dust and something more putrid.
Sasha couldn't see them but heard the heavy rumbling of tanks, creeping along the main street, tracks tearing the pavement open, accompanied by the shouts and barked commands of soldiers.
"So... The Americans and the Russians had us in the palms of their hands from the beginning," he said, stating fact, now that all puzzle pieces had fallen into place.
"That's what it looks like."
"Peace," Sasha muttered. Head hanging low and eyes fixed on the blood drying underneath his nails, he felt hollow. "And freedom."
It was what they had fought and sacrificed so much for - but this tasted too bitter to call it victory. Not with what Svetlana had done, dealing in manipulation and bio-engineering, the Elders and Sasha caught like insects in her web of lies. The Plaga squirmed inside him, and in that moment, the vicious pain was welcome.
He ground his teeth, fingers digging through worn leather into his arms. "Did you know about this?"
"No." Leon pulled a flask from his vest and took a swig. "If I had, I'd still be enjoying my vacation."
Sasha choked on another coughing fit, ribcage squeezed tight as he struggled for air. Soon. He had not much time left.
"Hey."
He blinked watering eyes, clearing them just in time to catch the flask Leon had thrown him. The liquid sloshed inside, a hint of mellow amber spilling over the rim. He forced a mouthful down; metal warm against his lips.
“I've lost everything. My mentor, my friends. I have nothing left to fight for."
The pain spread in his chest, and the truth of what would happen to him made him shudder. He could still see it: a spray of blood and the murderous thing JD had become.
Cool. You're still human.
"Kill me. Please," Sasha begged, the gun in his coat pocket burning like a coward's brand. "I don't want to change into one of those monsters."
Leon didn't turn around, still watching the streets below, where Russian and American forces rounded up the government troops. The last pockets of resistance, crushed in a hail of gunfire.
Sasha nodded slowly. He had made his choice the moment he had opened the suitcase and taken the injector, fully aware of the consequences. It was only fair that he cleaned up his own mess.
His fingers slipped on the safety before the loaded gun came to rest underneath his chin. "Well, I guess there is no other choice."
The metal bit into soft flesh, jerking with each ragged breath he took, finger curled around the trigger. Sasha closed his eyes. Less than an inch, a quick pull, and a bullet would tear through his brain, but - he had to - he couldn't -
The weapon was ripped out of his hand. Sasha flinched back, staring up at Leon in confusion and with a sudden sense of dread, or perhaps one day, he would come to think of it as relief.
"I'd feel the same way if I was you. But the option of taking our own lives no longer belongs to us. Once we start using these, we owe it to the people who died alongside us. We have to continue living."
Leon took aim, not to kill, but a bit beneath and to the right from where Sasha's heart pounded in his chest. "That is my answer and your answer... Buddy."
The echo of his own words was lost in the shot and the impact of the bullet, tearing through flesh and tendons and deeper. Something seized and snapped inside him, the pain too much and then gone.
He had reached for the gun, driven by instinct, but instead his fingers closed around a wrist, warm and slick with grime.
Sasha didn't feel the stairs digging into his back and legs, the shadow of the fountain suddenly looming over him. Blood soaked his shirt and coat. The sky was white with clouds and far away, darkness creeping in around the edges.
Then nothing, for a very long time.
The End
Status: Complete
Fandom: Resident Evil - Damnation
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Leon S. Kennedy, Buddy aka Alexander "Sasha" Kozachenko
Disclaimer: Copyright @ Capcom. No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: T
Genre: character introspection, friendship
Warning: suicide attempt
Summary: Your life is no longer your own. We have to continue living.
Liberty to Die
Having no energy left, cramping legs giving out on him, Sasha sat down hard on the steps. Hand pressed to his chest he felt the parasite move, tearing him open from the inside, worming its way further.
He tried to breathe through the pain, but ended up coughing. His throat felt raw and swollen, bile rising from his churning stomach. He swallowed thickly, not surprised to taste blood.
He thought about picture-books turning to ashes, drawings with matchstick families and smiling faces, eaten away slowly by flames as the school building collapsed, killing Irina and their young charges.
He remembered alcohol, too much of it, rumors about freedom fighters, a new purpose, and the first time he held a gun, hand kept steady by Judanovich. He remembered what grief and fear and caring felt like, now that the adrenaline broke down in his system.
He remembered why he had to forget, that emotions were crippling.
Sasha looked up, and after a moment, the dark spots dancing in front of his eyes faded. In their stead pulsed a blur of blue, green and black, that finally resolved itself into the American.
...Leon.
He was leaning on the marble balustrade, watching the city below. From here, morning sunlight and distance would hide the destruction, leaving sprawling streets and empty market stalls, beautiful buildings with Baroque facades framed by well-kept gardens, glowing like burnished gold.
But the wind ruffling their hair carried the stench of cordite, brick dust and something more putrid.
Sasha couldn't see them but heard the heavy rumbling of tanks, creeping along the main street, tracks tearing the pavement open, accompanied by the shouts and barked commands of soldiers.
"So... The Americans and the Russians had us in the palms of their hands from the beginning," he said, stating fact, now that all puzzle pieces had fallen into place.
"That's what it looks like."
"Peace," Sasha muttered. Head hanging low and eyes fixed on the blood drying underneath his nails, he felt hollow. "And freedom."
It was what they had fought and sacrificed so much for - but this tasted too bitter to call it victory. Not with what Svetlana had done, dealing in manipulation and bio-engineering, the Elders and Sasha caught like insects in her web of lies. The Plaga squirmed inside him, and in that moment, the vicious pain was welcome.
He ground his teeth, fingers digging through worn leather into his arms. "Did you know about this?"
"No." Leon pulled a flask from his vest and took a swig. "If I had, I'd still be enjoying my vacation."
Sasha choked on another coughing fit, ribcage squeezed tight as he struggled for air. Soon. He had not much time left.
"Hey."
He blinked watering eyes, clearing them just in time to catch the flask Leon had thrown him. The liquid sloshed inside, a hint of mellow amber spilling over the rim. He forced a mouthful down; metal warm against his lips.
“I've lost everything. My mentor, my friends. I have nothing left to fight for."
The pain spread in his chest, and the truth of what would happen to him made him shudder. He could still see it: a spray of blood and the murderous thing JD had become.
Cool. You're still human.
"Kill me. Please," Sasha begged, the gun in his coat pocket burning like a coward's brand. "I don't want to change into one of those monsters."
Leon didn't turn around, still watching the streets below, where Russian and American forces rounded up the government troops. The last pockets of resistance, crushed in a hail of gunfire.
Sasha nodded slowly. He had made his choice the moment he had opened the suitcase and taken the injector, fully aware of the consequences. It was only fair that he cleaned up his own mess.
His fingers slipped on the safety before the loaded gun came to rest underneath his chin. "Well, I guess there is no other choice."
The metal bit into soft flesh, jerking with each ragged breath he took, finger curled around the trigger. Sasha closed his eyes. Less than an inch, a quick pull, and a bullet would tear through his brain, but - he had to - he couldn't -
The weapon was ripped out of his hand. Sasha flinched back, staring up at Leon in confusion and with a sudden sense of dread, or perhaps one day, he would come to think of it as relief.
"I'd feel the same way if I was you. But the option of taking our own lives no longer belongs to us. Once we start using these, we owe it to the people who died alongside us. We have to continue living."
Leon took aim, not to kill, but a bit beneath and to the right from where Sasha's heart pounded in his chest. "That is my answer and your answer... Buddy."
The echo of his own words was lost in the shot and the impact of the bullet, tearing through flesh and tendons and deeper. Something seized and snapped inside him, the pain too much and then gone.
He had reached for the gun, driven by instinct, but instead his fingers closed around a wrist, warm and slick with grime.
Sasha didn't feel the stairs digging into his back and legs, the shadow of the fountain suddenly looming over him. Blood soaked his shirt and coat. The sky was white with clouds and far away, darkness creeping in around the edges.
Then nothing, for a very long time.
The End