He Always Cheats
Title: He Always Cheats
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG13-ish
Setting: Some time between 'Something Borrowed' and 'Adrift'.
Spoilers: Fic inspired by dialogue in 'Adrift'. Spoilers for all episodes from 'Dead Man Walking' onwards, possibly.
Disclaimer: The BBC owns the universe, I own nothing, yadda yadda.
It was late. It had been a quiet day, although they had been lulled in to that particular false sense of security many times. However, Rift activity had been minimal and no new catastrophes had appeared on the map just yet.
Jack had sent Gwen home early so she could spend time with Rhys. He felt guilty; the girl had been married less than a month and there'd hardly been a day when she'd been able to go home before 10.00pm since she returned from their honeymoon.
Toshiko had been persuaded to go home and watch something dreary on Discovery that Jack had promised her she really should not miss, and even Owen, who had taken to staying later than usual, saying it was preferable to sitting at home not being able to go drinking, eating, or doing anything much except being dead, had said he was bored stupid anyway, and might as well go home too.
The last of Ianto's coffee sat cooling in the cafetiere. Ianto had wanted to wash it out before leaving Jack's office, he hated brown rings being left at the bottom of the glass jug, but Jack had shushed him, and had sent him out of the room with a stern twinkle in his eye.
Now, it was past midnight, and the hub was eerily still and quiet, apart from the ever-present hum of electronic equipment and computers. Even Myfanwy was out, hunting birds.
Despite the stillness in the hub, Jack knew he wasn't alone.
Jack was in the hothouse. The air was humid and there was a thin sheen of perspiration on Jack's skin. He'd checked here and in the obvious areas of the Hub first, but there was nobody around. So he'd gone back into his office and retrieved his secret weapon. He took a deep breath and glanced again at the handheld device he was gripping in one sweating hand. An alien device they had recovered recently, but one that Jack hadn't shown anybody. It could trace any sort of vital signs, human or otherwise, to an accuracy of within thirty centimetres, and apart from the green dot that was Jack, it showed another presence within the hub. There! A red dot, moving slowly north-east, two levels down. A red dot indicating - someone. Somebody was creeping around the hub, trying not to get caught, and Jack was going to find that somebody. And when he got hold of them... Jack smiled to himself. Nobody played games with Captain Harkness and won, not if he had anything to do with it.
The device bleeped. It was saying the target had stopped moving and had been within a one square metre-sized area for more than thirty seconds. Level B, Room 35. One of the storage rooms.
Jack crept down the corridor. There was a lift, but Jack wasn't going to use it. The sound of it would certainly alert his prey, and he didn't want them to know they'd been found - not yet.
Jack checked the device again - body temperature was lowered, the heartbeat was quickening but the body had not moved again. Jack shivered. Down here, away from the hothouse, it was chilly. The sweat on his body was drying and making goosebumps appear on his skin.
One floor down... two. Jack crept silently but quickly along the corridor, shining his torch over the each heavy metal door as he passed. Room 33... 34... 35. Jack paused. He knew when the door opened, the target would hear it. Would they try to run? Jack took a deep breath, quickly inputted a sequence of six numbers into the electronic pad by the door. With a hiss of air the door unlocked, and Jack pushed it open.
He entered, cautiously. Lights automatically switched on and Jack squinted for a moment as he looked around. Shelves covered the walls, stacked with boxes, all neatly labelled with numbers and short descriptions of their contents. In the middle of the room stood a number of larger boxes, and four crates. At the back, two large metal cabinets, the size of single wardrobes. Plenty of places to hide behind, or in. Jack entered, made sure his quarry was not visible and surreptitiously turned off the device. He had no pockets to store it in, so quickly lifted the lid of a cardboard box on the shelf nearest him and slid it inside. He could easily retrieve it later.
He crept alongside each box, mentally deciding they were too small to hide in. The display on the tracking device would have zoomed in on the smaller area and told him exactly where to look, but Jack didn't mind searching manually. It was more fun that way.
He approached the wooden crates. They were all still sealed, nailed closed from the outside. Not in any of those, then. Only the metal cabinets left. He stood in front. Left or right?
Making his decision, he grabbed the handle of the cupboard on his right and yanked open the door. It was empty, apart from three moth-eaten lab coats hanging sadly from a wonky metal rail. Jack sighed. He hated it when a dramatic moment fell limp. He slowly opened the door of the other cabinet.
Ianto was standing inside, his arms crossed over his chest. His index finger depressed the button on the stopwatch. He glanced at it and grunted. "Eight minutes, 28 seconds. You found me in less than fifteen, so you win. Again."
Jack grinned. "A new record, I believe."
"I turned off the heat sensors, body scanning equipment and security cameras. How do you do that?" Ianto sounded sulky.
Jack shrugged innocently. "I'm just good at hide and seek. The best, in fact."
Ianto rolled his eyes. "You could have been even quicker - It's bloody freezing down here." Jack reached out, took Ianto by the elbow and pulled him out of the cabinet and into his arms. "Well, next time wear clothes."
"You should talk," said Ianto, muffled against his shoulder. Jack was naked too, and chilly to the touch. He pressed his body hard against his lover's. "Ooh. Still. Being cold doesn't seem to have affected anything important."
Jack grinned, and kissed Ianto deeply and hungrily. Ianto's mouth was so very hot compared to the rest of his face.
"Let's go back upstairs, where it's warm," Jack whispered, "and you can give me my prize."
Ianto took Jack's hand and led him out of the storage room. Jack smiled as the door swung shut behind them. Whoever said that cheats never prosper was dead wrong.
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG13-ish
Setting: Some time between 'Something Borrowed' and 'Adrift'.
Spoilers: Fic inspired by dialogue in 'Adrift'. Spoilers for all episodes from 'Dead Man Walking' onwards, possibly.
Disclaimer: The BBC owns the universe, I own nothing, yadda yadda.
It was late. It had been a quiet day, although they had been lulled in to that particular false sense of security many times. However, Rift activity had been minimal and no new catastrophes had appeared on the map just yet.
Jack had sent Gwen home early so she could spend time with Rhys. He felt guilty; the girl had been married less than a month and there'd hardly been a day when she'd been able to go home before 10.00pm since she returned from their honeymoon.
Toshiko had been persuaded to go home and watch something dreary on Discovery that Jack had promised her she really should not miss, and even Owen, who had taken to staying later than usual, saying it was preferable to sitting at home not being able to go drinking, eating, or doing anything much except being dead, had said he was bored stupid anyway, and might as well go home too.
The last of Ianto's coffee sat cooling in the cafetiere. Ianto had wanted to wash it out before leaving Jack's office, he hated brown rings being left at the bottom of the glass jug, but Jack had shushed him, and had sent him out of the room with a stern twinkle in his eye.
Now, it was past midnight, and the hub was eerily still and quiet, apart from the ever-present hum of electronic equipment and computers. Even Myfanwy was out, hunting birds.
Despite the stillness in the hub, Jack knew he wasn't alone.
Jack was in the hothouse. The air was humid and there was a thin sheen of perspiration on Jack's skin. He'd checked here and in the obvious areas of the Hub first, but there was nobody around. So he'd gone back into his office and retrieved his secret weapon. He took a deep breath and glanced again at the handheld device he was gripping in one sweating hand. An alien device they had recovered recently, but one that Jack hadn't shown anybody. It could trace any sort of vital signs, human or otherwise, to an accuracy of within thirty centimetres, and apart from the green dot that was Jack, it showed another presence within the hub. There! A red dot, moving slowly north-east, two levels down. A red dot indicating - someone. Somebody was creeping around the hub, trying not to get caught, and Jack was going to find that somebody. And when he got hold of them... Jack smiled to himself. Nobody played games with Captain Harkness and won, not if he had anything to do with it.
The device bleeped. It was saying the target had stopped moving and had been within a one square metre-sized area for more than thirty seconds. Level B, Room 35. One of the storage rooms.
Jack crept down the corridor. There was a lift, but Jack wasn't going to use it. The sound of it would certainly alert his prey, and he didn't want them to know they'd been found - not yet.
Jack checked the device again - body temperature was lowered, the heartbeat was quickening but the body had not moved again. Jack shivered. Down here, away from the hothouse, it was chilly. The sweat on his body was drying and making goosebumps appear on his skin.
One floor down... two. Jack crept silently but quickly along the corridor, shining his torch over the each heavy metal door as he passed. Room 33... 34... 35. Jack paused. He knew when the door opened, the target would hear it. Would they try to run? Jack took a deep breath, quickly inputted a sequence of six numbers into the electronic pad by the door. With a hiss of air the door unlocked, and Jack pushed it open.
He entered, cautiously. Lights automatically switched on and Jack squinted for a moment as he looked around. Shelves covered the walls, stacked with boxes, all neatly labelled with numbers and short descriptions of their contents. In the middle of the room stood a number of larger boxes, and four crates. At the back, two large metal cabinets, the size of single wardrobes. Plenty of places to hide behind, or in. Jack entered, made sure his quarry was not visible and surreptitiously turned off the device. He had no pockets to store it in, so quickly lifted the lid of a cardboard box on the shelf nearest him and slid it inside. He could easily retrieve it later.
He crept alongside each box, mentally deciding they were too small to hide in. The display on the tracking device would have zoomed in on the smaller area and told him exactly where to look, but Jack didn't mind searching manually. It was more fun that way.
He approached the wooden crates. They were all still sealed, nailed closed from the outside. Not in any of those, then. Only the metal cabinets left. He stood in front. Left or right?
Making his decision, he grabbed the handle of the cupboard on his right and yanked open the door. It was empty, apart from three moth-eaten lab coats hanging sadly from a wonky metal rail. Jack sighed. He hated it when a dramatic moment fell limp. He slowly opened the door of the other cabinet.
Ianto was standing inside, his arms crossed over his chest. His index finger depressed the button on the stopwatch. He glanced at it and grunted. "Eight minutes, 28 seconds. You found me in less than fifteen, so you win. Again."
Jack grinned. "A new record, I believe."
"I turned off the heat sensors, body scanning equipment and security cameras. How do you do that?" Ianto sounded sulky.
Jack shrugged innocently. "I'm just good at hide and seek. The best, in fact."
Ianto rolled his eyes. "You could have been even quicker - It's bloody freezing down here." Jack reached out, took Ianto by the elbow and pulled him out of the cabinet and into his arms. "Well, next time wear clothes."
"You should talk," said Ianto, muffled against his shoulder. Jack was naked too, and chilly to the touch. He pressed his body hard against his lover's. "Ooh. Still. Being cold doesn't seem to have affected anything important."
Jack grinned, and kissed Ianto deeply and hungrily. Ianto's mouth was so very hot compared to the rest of his face.
"Let's go back upstairs, where it's warm," Jack whispered, "and you can give me my prize."
Ianto took Jack's hand and led him out of the storage room. Jack smiled as the door swung shut behind them. Whoever said that cheats never prosper was dead wrong.