Motives

[neurochemistry]

As I have gotten older, I've put more and more energy into trying to understand other people.  I like to evaluate people's actions and figure out why they are doing the things they do.  But, there is danger in this.  It is very easy to get upset if you apply your own motives to other people.  We each have our own reasons for our actions.  You

Comments

[aefre]

Other people are figments of your imagination.

[meiow]

When I'm analyzing someone else's actions, I try to think of the most sympathetic motives possible. For instance, if someone is being a jerk in traffic: hey, maybe she's on the way to a hospital, or trying to get to a friend who is having an emergency.

Another simple situation: getting stuck behind an extremely slow driver. I normally decide the person is old, like my Granddaddy or Aunt Baboo, and are probably wonderful, well-loved individuals. I wouldn't want someone to have been angry at my Granddaddy just because he was on his way to help out some charity or the other! Therefore, I shouldn't be mad at this person in front of me. Besides, they're teaching me to take a breath and slow down in life, and it'll probably prevent a wreck down the road.

I think sympathy mixed with empathy is the key. :)

[threepunchstuff]

That's fascinating. My reflex is to do the exact opposite: assume that someone who wrongs me is acting with completely conscious malice. It's very unhealthy. But I would by lying if I said I was making any effort to tone it down.

[msbeanhead]

I generally make the assumption that people are like me, knowing it is wrong in some way. However, since I like myself, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. I can see assuming the same motives as being a problem though.

[kdgalla]

Napoleon said:
Never attribute to malice what could be explained by incompetence.