Volume 2: Issue 4
My staff have rebelled. They claim they need time to "attend classes," "study," "get some," "work" and "fight crime." I think they're just lazy. Still, I can't write this whole thing by myself so the blog will now be published when I get around to it.
--Your fearless leader
Battlestar Galactica Review
by Veronica Mars with Logan Echolls
SPOILER WARNING:
Spoilers for already-aired episodes of Battlestar Galactica
Veronica_Mars: All I can say is…Frak! You didn’t think we’d skip this review after the last two episodes, did you? No frakking way!
Logan_Echolls: Potty mouth.
VM: Since ‘frak’ isn’t a curse word yet, I’m not really swearing, am I? Anyway, we should start with brief overview of the last two episodes before we go into our favorite scenes.
LE: When we left off, the survivors from New Caprica had boarded Galactica and were celebrating their rescue off the planet. My cyber girlfriend, Starbuck, is also seen with Kacey, her biological child of Leoben. Starbuck’s new family is suddenly taken away, as Kacey’s birth mother sees her and tearfully thanks Starbuck for saving Kacey. I gotta say it probably sucked to be Starbuck at that moment, since it looked like she got pretty attached to the kid.
VM: Even bad-ass chicks have feelings. Kara probably got her heart broken when she had to give Kacey up. Being a bad ass though, I think this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. If you thought Starbuck was pissed off and bitter before, you should see her now.
LE: It’s so typical, instead of dealing with her feelings, she just avoids Kacey and pretty much blows off Sam.
VM: We’ll get into that later. Episode 5 "Collaborators" starts with some of the leaders of the insurgency convening in an airlock. They have apparently formed a group called ‘The Circle’, whose purpose is to judge and also sentence anyone who is proven to have collaborated with the Cylons. Most of you won’t be surprised that poor Jammer is being tried for being a member of the ‘New Caprica Police Force’ and for committing ‘crimes against humanity.’
LE: Long story short, Jammer tries to explain it was a confusing time and he had helped to save Callie, but the judges don’t feel that negates his other actions. Needless to say, as Veronica found out, yelling at the TV screen didn’t help either, and Jammer still got air-locked. I’d also like to point out that yelling, ‘What the frak???’ at the TV for the next five minutes also did not allow Jammer to survive being sucked into space, much to Veronica’s dismay.
VM: It frakking blows that they killed him. As for those of you that are already fans, but haven’t watched episodes 5 or 6 yet, I’m sure you’re worried about Felix Gaeta since the leaders of the insurgency considered him the power behind the puppet, so to speak.
LE: Starbuck is still pissed as hell and spiraling out of control. When Gaeta tries to explain about the dog food bowl and how he helped the insurgency, she blows him off. I’m not sure if it makes Starbuck more of a guy because she tunes him out and refuses to listen, or more of a girl, because she’s holding a grudge and doesn’t care what he says.
VM: Sexist much? Anyway, as you can imagine, Felix is brought before ‘The Circle’ and almost gets himself ‘air-locked’ by refusing to defend his actions, but at the last moment, the Chief realizes that Gaeta was their source and there wouldn’t have even been a rescue without him.
LE: What were your favorite scenes in these episodes?
VM: Episode 5, right after Starbuck joins ‘The Circle’ as Sam’s replacement, and Sam tells her that he quit because he was tired of the killing, and he wants her to quit as well. Starbuck isn’t just old school ‘eye for an eye’, she admits that she wants someone to pay and she doesn’t care who it is…she also tells him that he should go before that someone is him.
LE: She’d definitely rather avoid emotional problems than deal with them and it’s obvious she’s breaking Sam’s heart when she pushes him away.
VM: It’s Starbuck though. She can do a lot more than break his heart and it’s good she pushes him away before she kills him or something. We saw her kill Leoben time and time again, and she’s obviously still got that rage and anger in her. It’s not safe for Sam to be around her.
LE: My favorite scene in Episode 6 is when Adama confronts Tigh and Starbuck and tells them one of them needs to kill him, and if they won’t, they need to shape up or ship out. Tigh and Starbuck were doing their best impressions of obligatory, psychotic jackasses, causing a lot of anger and dissent among the crew until Adama finally confronted them. I gotta say, even though I understand where Tigh and Starbuck were coming from, Adama probably had to be pissed that the two people closest to him, outside of his son, were causing morale issues on his ship.
VM: Adama’s approach was harsh, but effective, at least with Starbuck. Tigh looks like he plans to continue drinking his life away.
LE: Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. It works for a while. Of course, now that I’m a reformed bad boy, I don’t do that anymore.
VM: Good to know. In "Collaborators", we also find that as usual, Baltar has managed to land on his feet and the Cylons haven’t killed him yet, even though he appears to be a prisoner on the Cylon base ship. The Cylons also tell him their goal is to find Earth because they want to settle there.
LE: Not only is Baltar still alive, but he betrays his entire race and vows to help the Cylons find Earth, just to save his own life. I’m still surprised the people somehow elected him to be their President, when it’s obvious he only cares about himself, but then, this town elected Lamb to be our Sheriff.
VM: Very true. We should probably go over a few more of the important details of Episode 5 and 6 before wrapping up, so people aren’t lost next week.
LE: Okay, here goes: Laura Rosslyn, through some convoluted negotiations with Tom Zarek, is now President of the Colonies again, while Tom is her VP. Laura also grants a general amnesty for all humans, so no one continues to be persecuted for their actions on New Caprica. Gaeta’s back in charge of the communication at the CIC and Starbuck chops off her hair, pulls her shit together and goes to see Kacey.
VM: Don’t forget that Apollo was working out and is now back to his sexy self.
LE: I didn’t think that one was a ‘must know’ for the next episode.
VM: Believe me, it’s something many fans want to know. It’s great seeing those lovely abs and hips again.
LE: Hey! What about my abs and hips? I’m not exactly chopped liver.
VM: Since I’ve never seen your abs or really any part of your body, I have no way to confirm.
LE: What? Ohhh. Well, what about when you saw me when I was surfing?
VM: Definitely great abs based on distant visual inspection.
LE: Does your Dad really read every article in every issue?
VM: Yep.
LE: I think we should get back to discussing Battlestar Galactica.
VM: That’s a great idea. The location of a nebula that should help determine the location of Earth is found and a Cylon base ship jumps to that nebula. The ship and all its inhabitants, from Centurions to skin jobs, contract a virus. The Cylons receive a distress call from the ship, but it’s determined the virus is deadly to all Cylons, and if the Cylons aboard the infected base ship are allowed to ‘resurrect’ themselves, the virus would spread through the resurrection ship and possibly decimate their entire race. In order to prove his value, Baltar volunteers to go to the infected base ship and try to figure out what caused the virus.
LE: Baltar boards the infected base ship and sees dead Cylons everywhere. I gotta say, the guy does that ‘scared shitless’ look really well and you can tell he’s terrified that whatever could kill a Cylon might actually kill him as well. He finds a Six that’s dying and tries to save her while she accuses him of doing this to them since the Cylons went to that nebula based on Baltar’s information. Gaius denies the accusation and finds out that the virus came from a beacon they brought aboard the ship.
VM: In one of those rare moments where Baltar actually realizes he’s a human and not a Cylon, he hides the origin of the virus from the rest of the Cylons. Unfortunately, he’s not quite as smart as he thinks and brings back a picture of the beacon next to all the dead bodies, which Caprica notices.
LE: Next week we’ll discuss Episode 7 - "A Measure of Salvation."
VM: I almost forgot, the humans have the same information based on Baltar’s extrapolations and Sharon, aka, the newly renamed 'Athena', and Racetrack jump to the location of infected base star and the nebula that should point the way to Earth. Will Sharon become infected with the virus? Will the humans figure out what’s going on? Stay tuned at the same Bat time on the same Bat Channel.
LE: So say we all.
Celebrity Gossip
by Parker Lee
I was so upset when I heard that Reese and Ryan are officially over. After seven whole years! They were, like, the only normal couple left in Hollywood. I'm so sad for them, especially for Reese. She is so pretty and such a good actress! I loved her in the Legally Blonde movies. I can't believe that Ryan cheated! I didn’t even know that they were having problems, they were so good at hiding it. What about the children? It’s so sad that there are children involved, and I hope for their sakes that they can at least be cordial. I adore both Reese and Ryan, but I have to take her side in this. Team Reese!
Britney Spears has also filed for divorce from husband K-Fed. OK, so this wasn’t that much of a shocker, and I’m glad that she finally dumped him. He really was a bit of a loser. His music career is nonexistent, and every time you see a picture of him, Britney is nowhere to be found. Now, I know a thing about loving bad boys (Colin, of course!), but Kevin was pretty much just trashy. Of course, I’m sad (again) for their kids, especially since Kevin is planning to counter sue Britney for custody. I’m going to side with Brit on this one. Go Team Britney!
At least there is some "love" in the air as Tom and Katie prepare to tie the knot. Let’s just hope that they don’t add to the population of Celebrity Splitsville.
FASHION DON’T OF THE WEEK:
Victoria Beckham was spotted leaving Nobu on Thursday wearing this:
It looks like a sack to me. Now, I don’t know about you, but I miss the days of the Spice Girls. Victoria, word of advice, that outfit is not very posh.
That’s it for this week, but maybe I’ll start writing for every issue.
Movie Review: Marie Antoinette
by Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie
Author’s Note: I apologize in advance for the shortness/lateness of this review. Unlike my fellow Neptune Online staff members, I have numerous classes to attend and projects to get done. Still, I promised Logan I’d get him something so he’d have something to post this week. Who knew he’d actually care about people having a new issue to read each week when we asked him to be editor.
Veronica and I were supposed to be doing this review together as she’s a big fan of Sophia Coppola’s work - I think The Virgin Suicides soundtrack is permanently affixed to the inside of her CD player. Unfortunately, I had to go out of town unexpectedly so we didn’t make it to the theater as planned. Even more unfortunately I was forced to see it with several of my cousins instead, all of them huge Kristen Dunst fans. It’s not that I don’t like Kristen Dunst or Sophia Coppola, it’s that I’ve never liked Marie Antoinette. I wasn’t sure how I’d like a movie that focuses on a historical figure that I’ve always seen as the 18th century equivalent of Madison Sinclair.
Kristen Dunst as the title
character in Sophia Coppola’s
Marie Antoinette.Which is why I was quite pleased when the movie was much better than I expected. I still see Neptune in Versailles with 09ers perfectly filling the roles of the French court; their fixation on the trials in their rich and opulent lifestyles blinding them to needs of the bourgeoisie. Yet the movie did make me wonder if Marie Antoinette is more of a Lilly Kane than a Madison Sinclair, a girl born into a life of privilege but forced to adhere to the expectations of her mother and family and to give up everything to meet those expectations. So much so that she eventually rebels, ignoring the advice of those around her to do as she pleases. A girl young and immature enough not to see the consequences of her decisions until it’s too late and she loses her life as result. It doesn’t make Marie (or Lilly) any more likable from my point of view but it does make them easier to understand and more human.
History buffs beware, you are likely to be bothered by the lack of historical and political accuracy to be found in the movie. It’s not so much that Coppola deliberately changes facts to fit her story (well, except for the parts about her children) so much as she deliberately glosses over anything outside Marie’s interests. After all, this movie is a look into how life at Versailles shaped and influenced Marie not at how the French Revolution changed her. The audience gets a clear sense that Marie was just a young girl with too much time, money, and power on her hands. Her greatest downfall was not her inability to care about people but the lack of people who cared about her.
The movie also spends a lot of time focused Marie’s husband, played by Louis XVI, and his inability or lack of desire to consummate their marriage for an almost certainly embarrassing seven years. Coppola refrains from ever fully addressing the reasons why, instead letting the whispers of the court hint at the rumors that circulated Marie during those long seven years. I really felt for Marie during this portion of the story, willing Louis to respond to her timid and innocent attempts to seduce him at night despite knowing that history dictated his reactions. There is no way to fully capture what Marie must have been feeling as days went by and Louis continued to rebuff her but Kristen did a nice job of capturing the awkwardness of the situation. I’m just glad that Louis finally came through for her. [Editor’s Note: Came through for her? Nice one MacKenzie.]
As for Coppola’s blend of modern pop and traditional baroque music was a nice touch, literally blending history with a modern day telling. Maybe I’m just a sucker for a good soundtrack but I felt like it helped bring Marie into my world and, in doing so, gave me a new appreciation for this dead monarch I previously thought so little of. As for the ending, well we all know how Marie’s life ends and it’s not really necessary to show it but the truth is that Coppola set out to show us Marie’s life before the fateful day that the mobs descended upon Versailles and her life was changed so completely. It’s something to keep in mind when going to see this movie, don’t go in expecting a movie about France or the French Revolution. As the title implies, this movie is about Marie Antoinette.
So, how many MBs of Mac memory would I use to store Marie Antoinette? I’d give it a solid 512MB, worth keeping it in the memory banks and watching again.
MacDisk Memory Rating:
Ask Logan
by Logan Echolls
Dear Logan,
a) Dawson or Pacey?
b) Big or Aidan?
c) Dean or Sam?
--Hopeful
Hopeful,
Contrary to the rumors started by my girlfriend, I’m not gay - just less butch than her.
PS:
a) neither
b) Big - only in a suit
c) Dean
--Logan
***
Dear Logan,
So I saw you briefly on your way to a Halloween party, but I have no idea what the hell you were supposed to be. Can you please enlighten me?
--Confused.
Confused,
I can understand why you might be confused by my costume. If you had seen Veronica, my girlfriend, it might have been clearer that we were The White Stripes. You know, that rock group that for a time decided to not to reveal if they were siblings or married. Then again, Veronica vetoed the idea of trying to pull off a bad version of Ryan and Marissa (Veronica didn’t want to be dead this year) and I vetoed the idea of pretending to be my father to Veronica’s version of my mother from The Persuit of Happiness that Dick had suggested (there should be days when I'm not allowed to listen to my BFF.) This seemed like a silly alternative to anything.
--Logan
***
Dear Logan,
How do I capture the attention of a former leader of a motorcycle gang? I love a reformed man.
--In love and shy,
Shy,
Spill a drink in the food court. I believe the mop is Weevil’s current weapon of choice. Plus, I hear he’ll do just about anyone for free pizza…
--Logan
***
Dear Logan,
What is your opinion of black licorice?
--Vis-à-vis
Vis-à-vis,
It sucks.
--Logan
Have a question for Logan?
Send an email to editor@neptuneonline.org.
The Art of the Set-up
by Veronica Mars
There are times when two mutual friends express a desire to get to know each other better. More often than not, another person is asked to help bring these two people together. Given my recent failure to set up two of my friends, I thought it would be nice to provide others with some helpful hints that will insure that mutual friends can enjoy a cup of coffee together without sacrificing two friendships.
DO: make sure that both friends have a genuine interest in dating. If one of them is not willing to take the blind date seriously, the whole situation is a bust. [Editor’s Note: this is especially true when one of the friends may have feelings toward the person setting up the date-not that it happened in this case, but just be warned.]
DON’T: Assume that just because your friends have common interests with you that they will have commonalities with each other. This tip requires that you do a bit of digging into your friend’s personal lives (more than you already might know is better than too little.) If one friend loves heavy metal, and the other only listens to Wagner, you need to work a bit to make sure that there is nothing for them to talk about that won’t devolve into a conversation about how much you, the mutual friend, are a horrible judge of character.
DO: suggest that the potential date happen in a very public place and possibly include other friends to help alleviate some of the tension. This way, your friends can talk to each other, but don't feel the need to only talk to the other person; other conversational partners can be useful, especially if one of them can steer the conversation back to the two being set up. Fun activities where those being set up can be paired are especially helpful to spark conversation. Partnered games of mini-golf or bowling work well in most cases, but refer to my previous DO#1 and make sure both friends are single and have an interest in dating. (Also? Make sure you have enough people for two pairs as a group of three just has 'awkward' written all over it.)
DON’T: hype up each friend so that the date is a letdown to your friends. Being judicious about stories involving one or both of the friends is advantageous because if one person knows a particularly horrific story, the odds are high that it will be shared during the date.
DO: have realistic expectations that things may not work out well. Sunshine and roses don't magically appear out of two friends.
DON’T: Ever ask me to be your matchmaker if you value my friendship at all. Not only does it cause me to have post traumatic stress disorder flashbacks, it just never ends well. So my friends, if one of you likes another, leave me out of it. Call me 'Switzerland', but in this situation, DON'T CALL ME.
How not to be a P.I.
by Eli “Weevil” Navarro
[Editor's note: Although Mr. Weasel, uh, I mean, Weevil, isn't actually a student at this institution, I promised she-who-shall-remain-nameless that I'd give him a shot - as if it's somehow going to keep him out of jail in the future.]
Okay, boys and girls, Eli Navarro here to give you another life's lesson - this one's on how not to be a private dick - sorry, I mean, private eye. For those of you who're sheltered, come from privileged backgrounds, or don't get out much - from what I've seen, that's most of you - a P.I. (private investigator - pee "eye" - get it?) is kind of like a detective, 5-0, y'know, only with brains, unlike the local Sheriff here in Balboa County. The way I see it, a P.I.'s gotta have brains because, again, unlike local law enforcement, he or she don't get paid unless they actually do the job they're hired to do, plus it's a lot easier to get fired. If the current Sheriff was a PI, he'd have been out of a job a long time ago.
I know this chick, or woman, whatever, we'll just call her 'Blondie', but she and her pops got a good little detective agency thing going, and, recently, they asked me to help out. I don't gotta tell you I was flattered to be asked, but it makes sense, when you think about it, because who better to catch someone doin' something wrong than someone who's an expert at wrong-doing - and, yo, that'd be me. Now, before I tell you how not to do the job, I'm gonna give you an idea of how to do it right, okay?
So, anyway, my first day on the job, Mr. M - Blondie's dad - asked me to check out this warehouse. Seems the owner thought one of his guys had sticky fingers and was using his five-fingered, employee discount to help himself to some merch, and the guy, he wanted us to find out who. So Mr. M handed me a big-assed camera and told me stake out the place and snap a few shots. Let me tell you, it looks a lot easier when someone else does it. I went to the warehouse and, making sure no one saw me, got the shots we wanted, only, when I got back to the crib, it looked like the dude we thought was doin' it wasn't. I looked again, though, and there it was, clear as day - it was the other guy, the one who drove the truck and did pick ups and deliveries.
Okay, so, on the next job - and here's the part where you're supposed to learn from my mistakes - he sent me to get pictures of woman supposedly abusing her kid. Problem was, when I got there, she wasn't the one doin' it, and when I saw her boyfriend wailing on the rugrat, I snapped. I blew my cover, dropped Mr. M's expensive camera, and sucker punched the dude. I gotta be honest, it felt good to hit him. It didn't feel so great the next day, though, when I found out I cost my boss one a his clients. Then I got fired. Blondie was nice about it, but it sucked all the same.
So, the moral of the story, kiddies, is when you're hired to watch and get pictures, you better make sure that's all you do. And, if you're gonna do something more, take the law into your own hands, you better make sure you don't get caught doin' it. There is a happy ending, though. I got a new gig, so my parole officer's happy and I ain't going back to the clink any time soon. I'm the newest maintenance man at Hearst College, so if you see me around campus, holla. And, hey, if you're the blonde chick in the pink halter who was sitting about half way up, in the middle section of Dr. Landry's crim 101 class, my shift's over at four.
Sound Off: Horror Movies
Moderator: Logan Echolls
You have entered room “Sound_Off,” October 28, 2006, 4:20 PM.
Logan_Echolls: Welcome to this week’s Sound Off. It’s the time of year for great horror movies, and Wallace and I thought we’d discuss some of the best scary movies, or movie series we remember growing up. I’ll start with one that’s held up over time, the Hitchcock classic, Psycho.
Veronica_Mars: I don’t think anyone can argue with that one. If you enjoy horror movies, Hitchcock is the perfect starting point. Psycho will scare you more than Chucky or Bride of Chucky, that’s for sure!
Cindy_Mackenzie: I don’t know about you, but Chucky is the reason I never let my Mom buy me dolls, and I’m a fan of scary movies.
Logan_Echolls: I prefer action or drama. Scary movies are just a good excuse to snuggle on the couch with your girl and have her jump into your arms.
Dick_Casablancas: I think Putz wants to snuggle with your girl…
Stosh_Piznarski: What? And my name is ‘Piz’, not ‘Putz’. P-I-Z. PIZ. It’s not that hard.
Dick_Casablancas: Oh right, like Piss.
Stosh_Piznarski: This coming from a guy named Dick?
Dick_Casablancas: Hey, that’s dirty! There are ladies present!
Stosh_Piznarski: I’m pretty sure I’m not the perverted one.
Dick_Casablancas: Whatever, Putz. I notice you didn’t correct the part about wanting to snuggle with Veronica though…
Wallace_Fennel: And once again, we’re running off topic. Dick, how about you stick to horror movies since you know it’s going to be V that you should be scared of if you try to start something?
Dick_Casablancas: Hey, I was just sayin. There’s no reason to threaten me.
Wallace_Fennel: That wasn’t a threat.
Veronica_Mars: Ohh, I can think of several reasons to threaten you, Dick. Parker, do you have any favorites?
Parker_Lee: I loved the Scream trilogy, and I Know What you Did Last Summer. They’re classic teenage horror movies and my friends and I used to watch them at every sleepover party. What about you Mac? What did you and your friends watch at slumber parties?
Cindy_Mackenzie: As my Mom would say, the other ‘freakball’ vegans and I didn’t really do slumber parties, but when we had movie nights we watched other classics like The Exorcist and The Amityville Horror.
Wallace_Fennel: Amityville Horror was great! I got V to go see that with me in the theatre. It was worth it, even though I ended up wearing most of her popcorn and soda.
Logan_Echolls: Hey, wait a minute! How did you get her to see go see a horror movie in the theatre?? I tried to get her to go see Saw III, but she said she wanted to wait for the DVD because she’d end up screaming like a girl in public and it would ruin her ‘bad-ass detective’ reputation…
Wallace_Fennel: It was easy, man. She figured she wouldn’t be scared because it was a re-make, plus I showed her the picture of Ryan Reynolds’ six-pack abs and she almost broke the speed limit getting there.
Logan_Echolls: I don’t think that will work for Saw III…
Veronica_Mars: Not unless Tobin Bell got a lot hotter while I wasn’t looking. Besides, I like it when we stay in and watch movies together. Wallace, what are some of the favorites you watched growing up?
Wallace_Fennel: I gotta show some love for A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th. Whether you were watching it at home with your friends or in the theatre, it was always fun. You could scream and yell at the TV or movie screen but you knew Freddy or Jason weren’t going to jump out of your closet later that night and kill you.
Dick_Casablancas: I loved Friday the 13th movies. They used to scare the crap out of Beaver. You should have seen his face that one time I jumped out of his closet in a hockey mask.
Cindy_Mackenzie: I’m sure that really helped things…
Wallace_Fennel: Let’s get back on topic before we head into cage-match territory again. So, Piz, what are your favorites?
Stosh_Piznarski: I like all the ones you guys mentioned, but what do you think about some of the newer ones like The Grudge or Pulse?
Veronica_Mars: I liked the Japanese version of Pulse, but I didn’t get the whole dryer thing when I finally saw the American version. If the infection was spread through a wireless connection, why were they coming out of the dryer? Unless I’m way behind the times, dryers aren’t wireless.
Logan_Echolls: The shower scene with the hot blonde lead actress was a good enough reason for me to watch it.
Veronica_Mars: Of course that’s what you’d think.
Logan_Echolls: You know what they say about people who live in glass houses, Veronica. Considering you went to see the remake of Amityville Horror just to ogle Ryan Reynolds, I don’t think you have any room to judge.
Wallace_Fennel: He got you there, V.
Stosh_Piznarski: What other types of movies do you like, Veronica?
Logan_Echolls: How about you just stick to the topic, Piz? We’re discussing horror movies. Better yet, why don’t you ask Mac or Parker what movies they like to watch? They’re single.
Cindy_Mackenzie: Personally, I used to prefer ‘smart’ horror movies that were more about suspense than gore. Those horror movies give you nightmares though, and my therapist said I should try to avoid giving myself any more nightmares. Give me Slither any day!
Wallace_Fennel: I don’t think you can count Slither as a horror movie, even if there were zombies.
Parker_Lee: I saw that one. Do funny horror movies count as real horror movies?
Stosh_Piznarski: I don’t think so. Then we’d have to include things like Young Frankenstein or Shaun of the Dead. I think comedic horror movies are a separate genre.
Cindy_Mackenzie: Fine. Then I vote for Alien and The Shining as two of my favorites.
Veronica_Mars: The Shining was one of the few movie adaptations that were as great as the original book.
Logan_Echolls: I don’t think you can go wrong with Jack Nicholson.
Wallace_Fennel: I’d go on about how great he was in The Departed, but contrary to what the title implies, it’s not a horror movie. Anyway, I think we’ve covered the genre from Hitchcock to Kubrick. What about John Carpenter? Some people call him the ‘master of the horror film’.
Logan_Echolls: You mean the guy who directed Halloween and The Thing?
Stosh_Piznarski: Halloween probably should be a ‘classic’ since it spawned so many knock offs.
Veronica_Mars: If we’re talking about the best of the best, we can’t leave out Silence of the Lambs or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Wallace_Fennel: Silence of the Lambs gave me nightmares for a week.
Logan_Echolls: I think we’ve covered most people’s favorites. Dick, any final thoughts from you?
Veronica_Mars: That was a rhetorical question, right? I didn’t think Dick had thoughts.
Dick_Casablancas: Funny. What happened to the Spy Who Loved Me, Mars?
Logan_Echolls: Topic, people. Not to mention, if you keep talking about my girlfriend loving you, I’m going to have to kick your ass.
Veronica_Mars: Can I watch?
Dick_Casablancas: Dude! Have you noticed your girlfriend’s a little bloodthirsty?
Logan_Echolls: Yeah, I got that when she mentioned the piano wire last week. Do you have any other favorite horror movies other than Friday the 13th?
Dick_Casablancas: American Psycho is one of my favorites.
Cindy_Mackenzie: Seriously! Is he trying to provoke me or is he just that dumb?
Veronica_Mars: Now that’s a rhetorical question if I ever heard one…
Stosh_Piznarski: Why do I feel like I’m still missing something?
Logan_Echolls: Because you are?
Wallace_Fennel: Dude, you can be a little nicer to my roomie, you know? I still haven’t filled him in from last week.
Logan_Echolls: I’ll work on it right after I’m done helping little old ladies across the street.
Parker_Lee: Logan’s always nice to me.
Logan_Echolls: I’ll always be nice to you Parker - unless you suddenly decide to become a lesbian and try to steal my girlfriend. Then all bets are off.
Veronica_Mars: How is this a discussion of horror movies again? It sounds more like a pig-like conversation between you and Dick.
Logan_Echolls: Hey, if I was a pig, the conversation would have gone a lot differently.
Cindy_Mackenzie: He does have a point there.
Veronica_Mars: How about we get back on topic? If Dick says what I think he’s going to, I won’t be able to adhere to the ‘no-violence’ rule.
Dick_Casablancas: I wasn’t going to say anything, but hot lesbians do rule. Just remember, if you ever decide to get a little freaky, make sure you take a lot of pictures!
Wallace_Fennel: Okay, we need to finish up this Sound Off before that mental image is burned onto my retinas and scars me for life. I’m sure there are a few classics people will think we were wrong to leave out, so drop us a note and maybe we’ll discuss it some other time. There’s always next year!
Stosh_Piznarski: Lots of things can change in a year…
Logan_Echolls: I’m pretty sure next year I’ll still want you to be devoured by an alien slug, Piz. Or gouged by a Killer Zombie Unicorn.
Veronica_Mars: And on that lovely note, I think I’m going to declare Sound Off officially over. Thank you and good night! We’re here all week. Try the veal!
Special thanks go out to afrocurl, babsonite, bennet_7, queen_haq, raelee,rindee, rowanceleste, simple_honesty and spadada.