Keep Your Fears
Title: Keep Your Fears
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to Furt.
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 1100
Summary: It was just a quote on a bright green post it note, but somehow, it had made him do things he wouldn't have done before.
Authors Note: I think that, just maybe, I need to stop writing fics based on quotes. I've already got an idea for another one ;-:
Also posted here at gleefic.com.
Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson.
Blaine had a lot of things to fear. He wasn't one of those masochistic assholes that thought men shouldn't fear anything, it just wasn't for him. Before he went to Dalton, fear had kept him trapped. It had stopped him from doing what he really wanted to do; it had stopped him from being who he really wanted to be. Every day, as he'd stepped through the doors of his school, fear had choked him. It had wrapped around his throat, getting gradually tighter and tighter until he couldn't breath he was so scared.
He was scared of speaking up in class, for fear of being wrong. He was scared of dressing too differently, for fear of getting noticed by the wrong sort of people. He'd been too scared to join the glee club for that same reason, no matter how much he longed to. He feared waking up every day as the same old Blaine, because being himself was difficult.
Dalton took away those fears. The teachers showed him he was smart, he didn't need to fear being wrong. He didn't need to dress differently; everyone dressed the same so he couldn't be noticed in the crowd. Nobody could hurt him at Dalton, so he joined the Warblers because finally, he was no longer being choked and he was free. Waking up the same old Blaine was a good thing - he fit in and people liked him and being himself was finally, finally, easy.
On one of his late night stumbles around the internet, Blaine came across a quote by Robert Louis Stevenson. "Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others". He'd read it, written it down on a bright green post it note and then, he went to sleep and forgot all about it.
But then Kurt Hummel came along, with his "uniform", with his terrible lying, with his adorable grin, with his own fears. Kurt Hummel changed everything.
The morning Blaine met Kurt, he'd found that bright green post it note. He'd held it in his hands, mulling over the words before folding it up and pushing it into his pocket.
Later, when he sat at that table, drinking coffee with a terrified boy, he remembered it. He realized what Robert Louis Stevenson had meant. Now it was time to push his fears deep down inside, where nobody but he could see them, and to help others be brave, like he wished he could have been. He was a singer, not an actor, but it was surprisingly easy to type out those seven little letters in texts to Kurt. Courage, he would write, like it could make a difference. Maybe it could, he began to think. Maybe courage really would make a difference to the world.
He stopped believing when he got that phone call. The one where Kurt had sounded choked, just like Blaine had spent so long feeling. The one where Kurt explained that courage really didn't work, but if it wasn't too pathetic, he kind of needed Blaine. The one that made Blaine skipped important classes he couldn't really afford to ditch to drive for two hours just to be there for Kurt, to try and convince him that courage wasn't so bad after all.
Later, much later, but not that much later in the long run, Kurt turned up outside Blaine's room, in a Dalton uniform, with a nervous look on his face. Blaine hadn't known what to say at first - this wasn't something he'd ever thought would happen, but he'd quickly pulled Kurt into an awkward hug that was only awkward because he wasn't sure he wanted it to be comfortable.
"It's okay, it's fine, you're fine," He'd murmured, holding Kurt tightly as he rambled about trying and wanting to succeed but everything was so hard. He knew exactly what Kurt was saying, it was the same way he'd felt, the same things he'd thought when he'd given up too. "You didn't give up, don't say that," He said. He tried to ignore how hypocritical he was.
He should have known Kurt wasn't going to find it easy. Somehow, McKinley had taught Kurt to stand out more, to be himself. Blaine didn't understand that. If anything, it should have taught him to blend in, to become part of the crowd. He should have figured out that Kurt wouldn't take well to being forced to blend in, to become just another face and nothing special. He'd forgotten that Kurt wasn't him, though. He'd forgotten that Kurt could actually be brave and have courage. He'd forgotten that blending in was the worst thing in the world for Kurt.
Another thing he should have known was that Kurt was incredibly perceptive. It wasn't an easy thing to learn, he was hardly obvious about it, but he did notice little tiny things. When he wanted to, of course. He could be just as blind to the obvious as anyone else if he didn't feel like paying too much attention. He noticed the way things worked, and then he ignored it. He noticed the subtle differences in what people said and what they did, and catalogued it for later use. He noticed the way Blaine was completely different in front of other people, and he made sure Blaine knew it.
He should have known that Kurt would figure him out soon enough. He should have expected the hand in his before sectionals, the smirk and the raised eyebrow and the murmured 'courage'. He should have expected Kurt cornering him later, forcing him to listen through a concise speech on why Blaine could pretend to everyone else all he liked, but he wasn't going to accept it, and if the real Blaine didn't start showing himself, there would be an unfortunate incident with a nail file that there'd be problems explaining.
He should have expected Kurt to stop before he left the room. He didn't know how he could have expected that Kurt would say Robert Louis Stevenson was wrong. He didn't know how he could have expected the daily post it notes on his door, each with a different quote about courage and friendships and trust.
Kurt Hummel didn't like easy. Kurt Hummel didn't like fitting in. Kurt Hummel thrived on attention and somehow, through post it notes and being so blunt he thought it might hurt, he began to show Blaine that there was so much more than just fear and courage.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to Furt.
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 1100
Summary: It was just a quote on a bright green post it note, but somehow, it had made him do things he wouldn't have done before.
Authors Note: I think that, just maybe, I need to stop writing fics based on quotes. I've already got an idea for another one ;-:
Also posted here at gleefic.com.
Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson.
Blaine had a lot of things to fear. He wasn't one of those masochistic assholes that thought men shouldn't fear anything, it just wasn't for him. Before he went to Dalton, fear had kept him trapped. It had stopped him from doing what he really wanted to do; it had stopped him from being who he really wanted to be. Every day, as he'd stepped through the doors of his school, fear had choked him. It had wrapped around his throat, getting gradually tighter and tighter until he couldn't breath he was so scared.
He was scared of speaking up in class, for fear of being wrong. He was scared of dressing too differently, for fear of getting noticed by the wrong sort of people. He'd been too scared to join the glee club for that same reason, no matter how much he longed to. He feared waking up every day as the same old Blaine, because being himself was difficult.
Dalton took away those fears. The teachers showed him he was smart, he didn't need to fear being wrong. He didn't need to dress differently; everyone dressed the same so he couldn't be noticed in the crowd. Nobody could hurt him at Dalton, so he joined the Warblers because finally, he was no longer being choked and he was free. Waking up the same old Blaine was a good thing - he fit in and people liked him and being himself was finally, finally, easy.
On one of his late night stumbles around the internet, Blaine came across a quote by Robert Louis Stevenson. "Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others". He'd read it, written it down on a bright green post it note and then, he went to sleep and forgot all about it.
But then Kurt Hummel came along, with his "uniform", with his terrible lying, with his adorable grin, with his own fears. Kurt Hummel changed everything.
The morning Blaine met Kurt, he'd found that bright green post it note. He'd held it in his hands, mulling over the words before folding it up and pushing it into his pocket.
Later, when he sat at that table, drinking coffee with a terrified boy, he remembered it. He realized what Robert Louis Stevenson had meant. Now it was time to push his fears deep down inside, where nobody but he could see them, and to help others be brave, like he wished he could have been. He was a singer, not an actor, but it was surprisingly easy to type out those seven little letters in texts to Kurt. Courage, he would write, like it could make a difference. Maybe it could, he began to think. Maybe courage really would make a difference to the world.
He stopped believing when he got that phone call. The one where Kurt had sounded choked, just like Blaine had spent so long feeling. The one where Kurt explained that courage really didn't work, but if it wasn't too pathetic, he kind of needed Blaine. The one that made Blaine skipped important classes he couldn't really afford to ditch to drive for two hours just to be there for Kurt, to try and convince him that courage wasn't so bad after all.
Later, much later, but not that much later in the long run, Kurt turned up outside Blaine's room, in a Dalton uniform, with a nervous look on his face. Blaine hadn't known what to say at first - this wasn't something he'd ever thought would happen, but he'd quickly pulled Kurt into an awkward hug that was only awkward because he wasn't sure he wanted it to be comfortable.
"It's okay, it's fine, you're fine," He'd murmured, holding Kurt tightly as he rambled about trying and wanting to succeed but everything was so hard. He knew exactly what Kurt was saying, it was the same way he'd felt, the same things he'd thought when he'd given up too. "You didn't give up, don't say that," He said. He tried to ignore how hypocritical he was.
He should have known Kurt wasn't going to find it easy. Somehow, McKinley had taught Kurt to stand out more, to be himself. Blaine didn't understand that. If anything, it should have taught him to blend in, to become part of the crowd. He should have figured out that Kurt wouldn't take well to being forced to blend in, to become just another face and nothing special. He'd forgotten that Kurt wasn't him, though. He'd forgotten that Kurt could actually be brave and have courage. He'd forgotten that blending in was the worst thing in the world for Kurt.
Another thing he should have known was that Kurt was incredibly perceptive. It wasn't an easy thing to learn, he was hardly obvious about it, but he did notice little tiny things. When he wanted to, of course. He could be just as blind to the obvious as anyone else if he didn't feel like paying too much attention. He noticed the way things worked, and then he ignored it. He noticed the subtle differences in what people said and what they did, and catalogued it for later use. He noticed the way Blaine was completely different in front of other people, and he made sure Blaine knew it.
He should have known that Kurt would figure him out soon enough. He should have expected the hand in his before sectionals, the smirk and the raised eyebrow and the murmured 'courage'. He should have expected Kurt cornering him later, forcing him to listen through a concise speech on why Blaine could pretend to everyone else all he liked, but he wasn't going to accept it, and if the real Blaine didn't start showing himself, there would be an unfortunate incident with a nail file that there'd be problems explaining.
He should have expected Kurt to stop before he left the room. He didn't know how he could have expected that Kurt would say Robert Louis Stevenson was wrong. He didn't know how he could have expected the daily post it notes on his door, each with a different quote about courage and friendships and trust.
Kurt Hummel didn't like easy. Kurt Hummel didn't like fitting in. Kurt Hummel thrived on attention and somehow, through post it notes and being so blunt he thought it might hurt, he began to show Blaine that there was so much more than just fear and courage.