weddings remixed

[neomera]

Ok, so I think I need to clarify some things I said yesterday, and as I wrote this clarification I seem to have let off some steam at the same time. So to spare those of you uninterested in my lengthy wedding-culture ranting, I have hidden it carefully. If you DO want to read it all, feel free to proceed!

Comments

[gygaxis]

however overwhelming and unexcited you are about the whole ordeal every day after that you get to be married to the person you love more than anything else ^___^ You'll make it through fine and probably inadvertently enjoy yourself even while performing a culturally imposed obligation you're clearly unenthusiastic about ^__^

[neomera]

All it really is, is an elaborate signing ceremony. It's a party for the paperwork. The important part is what I'm already doing.

It's a huge stresser for the bride (and sometimes groom) and a money sink. bah. I don't need that, but our families and friends do.

[lilsabub]

AMEN!
I got married last May, and your rant is bubbling up all my old tensions about the whole experience.

Making a guest list is the worst thing in the world, especially when the bride and groom both come from big families. It's not only my friends and family, but my parents friends who invited my folks to their kids wedding and yada yada. I will NEVER again feel slighted for not being included in the ceremony or reception. We held the British tradition of an "Afters" party, where local friends & co-workers joined us for drinks, dancing, and dessert after the main reception. So we didn't feed them dinner, but they got to dress up and dance and have free booze anyhow. (Then, after that, we all went to the Piratz Tavern!)

I totally hear you on the "My Day" thing. Eff that. It's about my guests! I'm throwing THEM a party. It seems to me that there are only 2 times in your life when all your favorite people will be in the same place at the same time: your wedding, and your funeral. (And you'll only remember one)

[robyscots]

I cannot begin to tell you the absurdity that I went through with my own wedding. The sense of entitlement that people have is astonishing, and no matter what someone will be pissed off. I finally had to accept that reality. Without wasting too much effort, we managed to piss off a member of Joe's step father's family to the point that they not only didn't show, but they convinced other people to cancel their RSVPs and they have cut off contact with us entirely.

Hang in there. I highly recommend taking a honeymoon as soon as possible. THAT is about the two of you and no one else.