On Respecting The Boundaries Of Gay Men

[neo_prodigy]

It's no surprise to long time readers that I frequently repost Bridget Adams's articles here. Afterall, she regularly brings the win and has established herself as the Mistress of Awesome!!!!

However, she may have outdone herself this time as she eloquently breaks down why gay and queer men are entitled to their space, boundaries, energy and

Comments

[leoprincess]

*snort*

[kittenmommy]

I want him to come over for a slumber party (after a day of shopping of course!) where we can do each other's hair and paint each other's nails and talk about BOYS!

[leoprincess]

FABULOUS! :D

[neo_prodigy]

"One excuse I did hear is that they're 'safe' men to be around... they're like women, only men!"

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that one.

[neo_prodigy]

"Did anyone ever say it to your face as though it was a compliment?"

Yes. Because a lot of people have this fucked up mindset that just because you aren't screaming faggot that you aren't a homophobe and that you're not doing harm.

Curious...

[leoprincess]

If a female friend of gay men is a 'fag hag', what's the male friend/lesbian equivalent?

Re: Curious...

[neo_prodigy]

friends with benefits because you know all lesbians really just need is a real man to show them what they're missing. obviously.

/sarcasm

Re: Curious...

[leoprincess]

*is dead*

Re: Curious...

[violenttemper]

Lesbros....Also what Neo said. I have no lesbros for that very reason.

[apis_cerana]

Since I've definitely been tokenized by some folks before, I make sure I don't tokenize others in my own relationships. Except for B, who is my token Straight White Male. (jk)
It's amazing how idiotic some people can be in the name of progressiveness.

Btw wtf?! "I explained why my nose has a bit of an issue and he did the full "OMG!..." with your face is so flat and I can see the yellow tone in your skin"?!?!?!? LOL WUT.
The rest of the thread was quite the clusterfuck too. WOW.

[neo_prodigy]

I'm not surprised I missed some of that ish. Girl there was so much fail and ass-waving in that damn thread it was all I could do not to go Ryan Atwood on some mofos!!!!

[sparkindarkness]

This in so many ways. I've actually found I have got rid of a good half dozen by simply saying I have no tolerance for people using the slur f@g around me regardless of how positively it's "intended" or how cute they think it is. I don't want to hear it - doubly so from a straight person.

I'm amazed how many left me alone simply because I wouldn't accept the phrase.

Of course, half a dozen down, a gazillion to go. My specially early clues are when they call me "friend" waaaay too early, overshare far too much, talk incessantly about themselves or introduce me to other people mentioning my sexuality "This is Sparky, my gay friend"

[kittenmommy]

This in so many ways. I've actually found I have got rid of a good half dozen by simply saying I have no tolerance for people using the slur f@g around me regardless of how positively it's "intended" or how cute they think it is. I don't want to hear it - doubly so from a straight person.

I'm amazed how many left me alone simply because I wouldn't accept the phrase.

As a straight, white woman, I can only say: D:

Because I am literally speechless.

"This is Sparky, my gay friend"

[leoprincess]

I picked him up from QueerMates! Isn't he adorable?

*side-eye*