Fic: Underneath It All (Logan/Veronica) Part 1
That fic I've been talking so much about... I think I'm ridiculously nervous about this one. *lol*
Title: Underneath It All
Author: Nemo (nemo_88)
Rating: PG-13/R?
Word count: This part: 2700+
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Characters/Pairings: Logan/Veronica
Summary: There’s a thin line between love and hate…
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of its characters.
Author's Notes: Set sometime in the pilot/pre-series, but might include parts from s1. AU. Lilly has died, Shelly’s has happened, but Wallace hasn’t made an appearance.
This was my vm_santa gift for applebashed. Merry (belated) Christmas!
A huge thank you to rowanceleste, pegm81484 and tigereyes320 for the last minute beta. And of course evie_0 for letting me know I'm not crazy for writing this and being the sweetie that she is. *hugs* Should probably also mention that I'm not a native speaker. All mistakes are mine.
Prologue
She hates him. She really does. She hates him with a fiery passion. And that’s probably where things started to go downhill. With the passion.
After all the things he’s done, after all the shit he’s pulled, she should really just plain hate him. She should look at him with repulsion, he shouldn’t even be a blip on her radar. She’s ashamed to admit that he is.
Sometimes, when they’re trading insult after vicious insult, she doesn’t know if she wants to smack him or just press her lips against his with all she’s got.
Sometimes she thinks she can see that same fire in his eyes.
Sometimes she thinks she’s just the enormous slut he’s made her out to be. Who would fall in love with their tormentor? How sick is that? It’s beyond all logic. Logan hasn’t done a single half-decent thing for her in months. Not since before Lilly’s death, not since before he and Lilly broke up.
She’s not in love with pain. She refuses to be. She’s not some depressive emo-chick that gets off on people hurting her.
She wants a boy who will treat her right. She wants sweet kisses and cute teddy bears on Valentine’s Day. She wants lazy nights on the couch watching cheesy movies; she wants dates on the beach and cliché-like pick-up lines.
Looking at her old photos of the two of them and the Kanes and the smile directed at Lilly, she thinks he could give her all those things. Most of the time she thinks that boy died with Lilly, the day Lilly fell dead on the hard stone beside her family’s swimming pool.
She wants respect, and maybe that’s how it started. She yearns for the day Logan will stop looking at her as if she’s beneath him. She’s done everything to make it happen. That’s what she fights for, that’s what makes her keep going. He strikes down, again and again with his malicious pranks and she has sworn to always fight back. To never let him win.
To never let him see how he’s slowly erasing everything she is and leaving a cold shell behind.
Sometimes she catches herself looking at him or thinking of him too often. She scolds herself, screams at the top of her lungs for no one but herself to hear. Repeating mantras of IwillnothitnkofLoganIwillnothinkofLoganin her mind until she’s on the verge of exhaustion. It never helps.
Sometimes she thinks it was him who left her alone and violated that dreadful night. He probably hates her that much; she doesn’t doubt that he wants to inflict that much pain on her. But she’s sure it wasn’t him. If Logan took advantage of her drugged body that night he would have used it to his advantage. He wouldn’t let an opportunity like that just pass. He would have told the whole school about fucking a willing [except not] Veronica Mars. He would have laughed at her with the guys, he would have offered her up for anyone to take or warned everyone who would listen about her inexperience.
He hates her that much, Veronica’s sure.
She hates him too. With passion.
* * *
Just looking at her makes his blood boil. His skin itches and adrenaline surges through his veins. In an instant he’s alert, ready for battle. She has that affect on him. Anger is what nurses this transformation, is what is causes him to push and push at her, prompting her to strike back with equal force.
A hundred and fifty emotions take over him every time she’s near, but it’s only one left hanging when she’s gone. Sometimes it’s relief; sweet and satisfying relief that floods his body and lets him breathe again. Sometimes it is rage, thick and hot, hugging his limbs tightly, making his muscles tense and restless. Sometimes it’s lust. A warm sensation taking over him, flooding slowly down to his groin.
Lately, the last one has become more and more common.
* * *
Part 1
Pulling her hair into a bundle at her neck, Veronica squeezes the last water out of the wet strands. With her towel safely wrapped around her body, she makes her way back to the locker room. She’s in last, and is thankful for it. Gym class isn’t as fun as it used to be back in her pep rally days. Today, playing soccer, Veronica felt like she was not only playing against the opposite team, but her own team as well. Funny how many tackles can be excused as silly mistakes.
Veronica sighs as she sits down on the bench in front of her locker. Her limbs are warm and tired after the work-out and Veronica feels drowsy in the locker room, filled with the heat from showers and sweaty girls. The last of her classmates leaves the room as Veronica pulls her clothes out of her locker.
It’s not until Veronica’s about to put on her t-shirt on that she realizes something’s up with her clothes. She pulls the yellow material of her t-shirt up for inspection and what her tired eyes didn’t notice before is soon clear. Black letters in permanent marker across the front. A not very flattering sketch on the back.
Veronica grits her teeth, inspecting the 09’ers latest prank. She should have known she couldn’t leave her clothes out of sight after that time they mysteriously took a swim in the nearest toilet. And she calls herself a private investigator. Veronica snorts to herself.
She pulls the shirt inside-out before putting it on. The word - ‘slut’ in capital letters - can still be seen through the thin fabric, but at least someone would need a mirror to read it. With the fuzzy image of a woman, with a penis in her mouth, on her back, Veronica makes her way to her next class.
The hollering and whistles starts as soon as she sets foot in the halls. The girls whisper, casting judging glances at her before giving each other that meaningful look. Veronica doesn’t need to have the word printed on her t-shirt to understand what they’re saying about her. Her steps are determined as she walks past them, her head set high, looking straight ahead.
“What’s that on you shirt?” Logan’s voice is amused and filled with false curiosity as she comes closer. Veronica’s damn sure Logan knows what her shirt says and doesn’t answer. “I didn’t quite catch that, mind reading it aloud?”
Veronica walks by and gives Dick a full view of the image on her back.
“Oh, you like cock, huh? Ain’t no shame in that. Dick’s got a good one right here,” Dick’s voice is loud as he grabs his crouch, and Veronica would have burst out laughing at his stupidity if it wasn’t for the goddamn audience - the entire school. “Just say the word, baby. Just say the word.”
Veronica ignores him, along with the rest of the crowd laughing, and walks into her classroom.
* * *
Ever since Veronica started working with her father at Mars Investigations she has wanted to get a look at what’s in his safe. She would be lying if she said it had nothing to do with Lilly, of course it had to do with Lilly. She’d gone through all of her father’s other files to find what made him go after Jake Kane in the first place, without finding anything. It wasn’t like he would tell her. Veronica knew she saw her father going through evidence files about the Lilly Kane murder even after he was kicked out of office. If there was something that could solve the puzzle that was this case and her father’s actions concerning it, it was in that safe.
It was only natural that Veronica wanted in, right? It all had led, not only to her father losing his job, but her mother leaving and Veronica losing her friends. Her whole life was turned upside down and she’d stood by her father the whole time. Trusting his judgment. Was it so strange that she wanted to know if she had done the right thing?
It was just Veronica’s bad luck that her father spent a large part of his time in the office, handling case after case, just so they’d be able to pay the rent that month. Even with Veronica’s help, it was hard job, starting a business and keeping it running.
It’s not until Keith is out of town, on a case in LA, that Veronica dares to take a closer look at the safe. All she needs now is her father’s combination.
It's the rare individual who chooses meaningless numbers, her father taught her that. Nine times out of ten, an individual will select numbers that mean something - birthdays, anniversaries, addresses. Of course, Veronica expected her father to be smarter than that. That is, until she finds six little numbers scribbled down in his page-a-day calendar.
Veronica smiles in pleasure before trying out the combination. The smile turns into a grin when she finds that it works and the door of the safe clicks open.
Soon, Veronica’s sitting on the floor with her father’s files all spread out around her. It’s not until she comes to the last case holder, furthest inside the safe, that she finds what she’s looking for.
Bingo.
It’s with shaky hands that Veronica reads the witness statements and evidence protocols from Lilly’s murder, only months old. She quickly skims past the crime scene photos. She saw it once, in real life, and her friend’s dead body is now practically tattooed to her retina. She doesn’t need to see it again.
And then there it is. One tiny slip of paper changes everything.
The scribbles are worn on the black and white copy, but after all those times Lilly showed her his love letters, Veronica can tell immediately whose hand-writing it is. The small letters look determined, like the person writing them tried to prove a point, finally confessing how he really felt and didn’t accept interruptions. The letter’s intent is soon clear.
It’s a break-up letter.
Logan’s break-up letter.
Veronica skims through the words, hypnotized by their forms and flow, unable to put the letter down. She doesn’t realize her hands are shaking as the words begin to tell their stories in her mind. Veronica jumps, startled out of her trance when a car alarm goes off on the street outside.
There are two small sentences that catch her attention. One sentence that turns her whole world upside-down.
Suddenly, Veronica’s feeling a little queasy.
“You know how I feel about Veronica. It’s not going to change.”
She reads the words over and over again, like they would mysteriously reshape and take another meaning or turn into some ancient language, right in front of her eyes. Because it can’t be. There’s no room in her fucked-up life for Logan and ambiguous emotions in the same sentence. Like waking up in the middle of the night with that kind of dream, realizing Logan’s name was on the tip of her tongue isn’t bad enough, she can’t deal with stupid break-up letters including her name. She’s gotten used to the way they handle - or more correctly don’t handle - everything after Lilly’s death. It’s not like she has some big fantasy of Logan making everything right, acting like her knight in shining armor and asking her to the prom. Veronica’s realistic and she likes it that way, but right now her whole reality feels more than a little shaky.
Logan must mean something else, someone else, Veronica concludes, he can’t…It undoubtedly sounds like he... but that’s just crazy talk. Logan was with Lilly, in love with her. Right?
Veronica shudders where she sits on the cold floor. Confusion, dazing, chaotic confusion washes over her and stirs up things that… Just. Shouldn’t. Be.
Veronica looks at her father’s notes at the bottom of the paper. Found in Lilly’s car, in a shot glass with the print “I got Baked in Ensenada” on October 3rd.
October 3rd. The day Lilly was murdered. But Logan was in Mexico the weekend Lilly was murdered? Veronica knows he was, she remembers thinking that it was good Logan was away and didn’t see Lilly that day, at the carwash, so happy and carefree without him. No, Logan was in Mexico, he couldn’t have given her a letter then. But maybe before?
Ensenada.
The shot glass says differently.
Suddenly, it’s all too much. Too many well-known facts have been disrupted and left hanging without answers. Everything Veronica thought she knew has become unclear. Logan no longer has an alibi to Lilly’s murder, and that’s just scary in more ways Veronica can imagine. The reasons for Lilly and Logan’s break-up are suddenly fuzzy and so are Logan’s feelings for Veronica. Veronica doesn’t even want to speculate about that. But she can’t help herself.
“You know how I feel about Veronica.”
Feel, how? ‘Hate’ would be the word Veronica used today. Anger. Disgust. Did he mean something else? The letter was written not even a year ago, were his feelings different then? Friendlier? More than friendly?
A choked up, incredulous laugh escapes Veronica’s throat, and echoes loudly in the empty office. It is just so ironic, all of it. Hard to grasp. She never thought getting into her father’s safe would open the gates to Bizarro world.
There’s only one thing she’s sure of. Logan didn’t hate her back then, back when a blonde girl full of adventures tied them together. She saw him as a friend before Lilly died, and she hadn’t noticed him treating her like anything other than just that. Veronica searches through her mind for clues, something to confirm the new theories, brought on by finding his letter. She goes through memories that makes her smile and teary at the same time, memories of better times.
Suddenly everything seems crystal clear. A veil has been pulled from her eyes and everything just makes sense. Lilly’s behavior, how she treated Yolanda.
Logan kissing Yolanda wasn’t the reason why they broke up, Veronica suddenly realizes. How Lilly turned her back on Yolanda, freezing her out, it was a warning. What would happen to Veronica if she ever went after Logan. Because Logan was Lilly’s, no matter how many times she carelessly ditched him and picked him back up.
“You know how I feel about Veronica.”
Lilly knew, he said so, right there.
When did he tell her, what did he tell her?
* * *
Going to school the next day, Veronica can’t help but smile as she walks down the halls. It’s like she’s been given a present, a mystery only she can unravel. A secret, hers and Logan’s alone. Veronica loves mysteries; she loves the search for truth, finding out what’s right and what’s not. It’s what she does, what she is - an investigator. Right now, she’s a kid on Christmas morning, gift still wrapped in her hands, still feeling that sweet anticipation of just what she wished for, right in front of her. Technically, that would mean Logan’s her present to unwrap, which he most probably isn’t, but Veronica will live with that satisfying hope, if just for now. At the moment, all she will do is watch. Watch, and learn. She’s a detective, she’s staked out more cheating husbands than there are strippers in Vegas, she can decipher one teenage boy’s emotions. Right?
If she usually stays as far away from Logan as she can, today, she lets herself be open to all of his taunts. She’s got an ace up her sleeve, a winning card to play if things get out of hand. She doesn’t intend to, hell, she has no idea what to make of this whole letter to Lilly. She doesn’t plan to just confront him about it, but it’s a safety net and it’s reassuring. Vicious words of his that used to cut deep into her bone, even if she never let it on, now wash off her like water.
Today is a good day to be Veronica Mars.
>> Part 2
Title: Underneath It All
Author: Nemo (nemo_88)
Rating: PG-13/R?
Word count: This part: 2700+
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Characters/Pairings: Logan/Veronica
Summary: There’s a thin line between love and hate…
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of its characters.
Author's Notes: Set sometime in the pilot/pre-series, but might include parts from s1. AU. Lilly has died, Shelly’s has happened, but Wallace hasn’t made an appearance.
This was my vm_santa gift for applebashed. Merry (belated) Christmas!
A huge thank you to rowanceleste, pegm81484 and tigereyes320 for the last minute beta. And of course evie_0 for letting me know I'm not crazy for writing this and being the sweetie that she is. *hugs* Should probably also mention that I'm not a native speaker. All mistakes are mine.
Prologue
She hates him. She really does. She hates him with a fiery passion. And that’s probably where things started to go downhill. With the passion.
After all the things he’s done, after all the shit he’s pulled, she should really just plain hate him. She should look at him with repulsion, he shouldn’t even be a blip on her radar. She’s ashamed to admit that he is.
Sometimes, when they’re trading insult after vicious insult, she doesn’t know if she wants to smack him or just press her lips against his with all she’s got.
Sometimes she thinks she can see that same fire in his eyes.
Sometimes she thinks she’s just the enormous slut he’s made her out to be. Who would fall in love with their tormentor? How sick is that? It’s beyond all logic. Logan hasn’t done a single half-decent thing for her in months. Not since before Lilly’s death, not since before he and Lilly broke up.
She’s not in love with pain. She refuses to be. She’s not some depressive emo-chick that gets off on people hurting her.
She wants a boy who will treat her right. She wants sweet kisses and cute teddy bears on Valentine’s Day. She wants lazy nights on the couch watching cheesy movies; she wants dates on the beach and cliché-like pick-up lines.
Looking at her old photos of the two of them and the Kanes and the smile directed at Lilly, she thinks he could give her all those things. Most of the time she thinks that boy died with Lilly, the day Lilly fell dead on the hard stone beside her family’s swimming pool.
She wants respect, and maybe that’s how it started. She yearns for the day Logan will stop looking at her as if she’s beneath him. She’s done everything to make it happen. That’s what she fights for, that’s what makes her keep going. He strikes down, again and again with his malicious pranks and she has sworn to always fight back. To never let him win.
To never let him see how he’s slowly erasing everything she is and leaving a cold shell behind.
Sometimes she catches herself looking at him or thinking of him too often. She scolds herself, screams at the top of her lungs for no one but herself to hear. Repeating mantras of IwillnothitnkofLoganIwillnothinkofLoganin her mind until she’s on the verge of exhaustion. It never helps.
Sometimes she thinks it was him who left her alone and violated that dreadful night. He probably hates her that much; she doesn’t doubt that he wants to inflict that much pain on her. But she’s sure it wasn’t him. If Logan took advantage of her drugged body that night he would have used it to his advantage. He wouldn’t let an opportunity like that just pass. He would have told the whole school about fucking a willing [except not] Veronica Mars. He would have laughed at her with the guys, he would have offered her up for anyone to take or warned everyone who would listen about her inexperience.
He hates her that much, Veronica’s sure.
She hates him too. With passion.
* * *
Just looking at her makes his blood boil. His skin itches and adrenaline surges through his veins. In an instant he’s alert, ready for battle. She has that affect on him. Anger is what nurses this transformation, is what is causes him to push and push at her, prompting her to strike back with equal force.
A hundred and fifty emotions take over him every time she’s near, but it’s only one left hanging when she’s gone. Sometimes it’s relief; sweet and satisfying relief that floods his body and lets him breathe again. Sometimes it is rage, thick and hot, hugging his limbs tightly, making his muscles tense and restless. Sometimes it’s lust. A warm sensation taking over him, flooding slowly down to his groin.
Lately, the last one has become more and more common.
* * *
Part 1
Pulling her hair into a bundle at her neck, Veronica squeezes the last water out of the wet strands. With her towel safely wrapped around her body, she makes her way back to the locker room. She’s in last, and is thankful for it. Gym class isn’t as fun as it used to be back in her pep rally days. Today, playing soccer, Veronica felt like she was not only playing against the opposite team, but her own team as well. Funny how many tackles can be excused as silly mistakes.
Veronica sighs as she sits down on the bench in front of her locker. Her limbs are warm and tired after the work-out and Veronica feels drowsy in the locker room, filled with the heat from showers and sweaty girls. The last of her classmates leaves the room as Veronica pulls her clothes out of her locker.
It’s not until Veronica’s about to put on her t-shirt on that she realizes something’s up with her clothes. She pulls the yellow material of her t-shirt up for inspection and what her tired eyes didn’t notice before is soon clear. Black letters in permanent marker across the front. A not very flattering sketch on the back.
Veronica grits her teeth, inspecting the 09’ers latest prank. She should have known she couldn’t leave her clothes out of sight after that time they mysteriously took a swim in the nearest toilet. And she calls herself a private investigator. Veronica snorts to herself.
She pulls the shirt inside-out before putting it on. The word - ‘slut’ in capital letters - can still be seen through the thin fabric, but at least someone would need a mirror to read it. With the fuzzy image of a woman, with a penis in her mouth, on her back, Veronica makes her way to her next class.
The hollering and whistles starts as soon as she sets foot in the halls. The girls whisper, casting judging glances at her before giving each other that meaningful look. Veronica doesn’t need to have the word printed on her t-shirt to understand what they’re saying about her. Her steps are determined as she walks past them, her head set high, looking straight ahead.
“What’s that on you shirt?” Logan’s voice is amused and filled with false curiosity as she comes closer. Veronica’s damn sure Logan knows what her shirt says and doesn’t answer. “I didn’t quite catch that, mind reading it aloud?”
Veronica walks by and gives Dick a full view of the image on her back.
“Oh, you like cock, huh? Ain’t no shame in that. Dick’s got a good one right here,” Dick’s voice is loud as he grabs his crouch, and Veronica would have burst out laughing at his stupidity if it wasn’t for the goddamn audience - the entire school. “Just say the word, baby. Just say the word.”
Veronica ignores him, along with the rest of the crowd laughing, and walks into her classroom.
* * *
Ever since Veronica started working with her father at Mars Investigations she has wanted to get a look at what’s in his safe. She would be lying if she said it had nothing to do with Lilly, of course it had to do with Lilly. She’d gone through all of her father’s other files to find what made him go after Jake Kane in the first place, without finding anything. It wasn’t like he would tell her. Veronica knew she saw her father going through evidence files about the Lilly Kane murder even after he was kicked out of office. If there was something that could solve the puzzle that was this case and her father’s actions concerning it, it was in that safe.
It was only natural that Veronica wanted in, right? It all had led, not only to her father losing his job, but her mother leaving and Veronica losing her friends. Her whole life was turned upside down and she’d stood by her father the whole time. Trusting his judgment. Was it so strange that she wanted to know if she had done the right thing?
It was just Veronica’s bad luck that her father spent a large part of his time in the office, handling case after case, just so they’d be able to pay the rent that month. Even with Veronica’s help, it was hard job, starting a business and keeping it running.
It’s not until Keith is out of town, on a case in LA, that Veronica dares to take a closer look at the safe. All she needs now is her father’s combination.
It's the rare individual who chooses meaningless numbers, her father taught her that. Nine times out of ten, an individual will select numbers that mean something - birthdays, anniversaries, addresses. Of course, Veronica expected her father to be smarter than that. That is, until she finds six little numbers scribbled down in his page-a-day calendar.
Veronica smiles in pleasure before trying out the combination. The smile turns into a grin when she finds that it works and the door of the safe clicks open.
Soon, Veronica’s sitting on the floor with her father’s files all spread out around her. It’s not until she comes to the last case holder, furthest inside the safe, that she finds what she’s looking for.
Bingo.
It’s with shaky hands that Veronica reads the witness statements and evidence protocols from Lilly’s murder, only months old. She quickly skims past the crime scene photos. She saw it once, in real life, and her friend’s dead body is now practically tattooed to her retina. She doesn’t need to see it again.
And then there it is. One tiny slip of paper changes everything.
The scribbles are worn on the black and white copy, but after all those times Lilly showed her his love letters, Veronica can tell immediately whose hand-writing it is. The small letters look determined, like the person writing them tried to prove a point, finally confessing how he really felt and didn’t accept interruptions. The letter’s intent is soon clear.
It’s a break-up letter.
Logan’s break-up letter.
Veronica skims through the words, hypnotized by their forms and flow, unable to put the letter down. She doesn’t realize her hands are shaking as the words begin to tell their stories in her mind. Veronica jumps, startled out of her trance when a car alarm goes off on the street outside.
There are two small sentences that catch her attention. One sentence that turns her whole world upside-down.
Suddenly, Veronica’s feeling a little queasy.
“You know how I feel about Veronica. It’s not going to change.”
She reads the words over and over again, like they would mysteriously reshape and take another meaning or turn into some ancient language, right in front of her eyes. Because it can’t be. There’s no room in her fucked-up life for Logan and ambiguous emotions in the same sentence. Like waking up in the middle of the night with that kind of dream, realizing Logan’s name was on the tip of her tongue isn’t bad enough, she can’t deal with stupid break-up letters including her name. She’s gotten used to the way they handle - or more correctly don’t handle - everything after Lilly’s death. It’s not like she has some big fantasy of Logan making everything right, acting like her knight in shining armor and asking her to the prom. Veronica’s realistic and she likes it that way, but right now her whole reality feels more than a little shaky.
Logan must mean something else, someone else, Veronica concludes, he can’t…It undoubtedly sounds like he... but that’s just crazy talk. Logan was with Lilly, in love with her. Right?
Veronica shudders where she sits on the cold floor. Confusion, dazing, chaotic confusion washes over her and stirs up things that… Just. Shouldn’t. Be.
Veronica looks at her father’s notes at the bottom of the paper. Found in Lilly’s car, in a shot glass with the print “I got Baked in Ensenada” on October 3rd.
October 3rd. The day Lilly was murdered. But Logan was in Mexico the weekend Lilly was murdered? Veronica knows he was, she remembers thinking that it was good Logan was away and didn’t see Lilly that day, at the carwash, so happy and carefree without him. No, Logan was in Mexico, he couldn’t have given her a letter then. But maybe before?
Ensenada.
The shot glass says differently.
Suddenly, it’s all too much. Too many well-known facts have been disrupted and left hanging without answers. Everything Veronica thought she knew has become unclear. Logan no longer has an alibi to Lilly’s murder, and that’s just scary in more ways Veronica can imagine. The reasons for Lilly and Logan’s break-up are suddenly fuzzy and so are Logan’s feelings for Veronica. Veronica doesn’t even want to speculate about that. But she can’t help herself.
“You know how I feel about Veronica.”
Feel, how? ‘Hate’ would be the word Veronica used today. Anger. Disgust. Did he mean something else? The letter was written not even a year ago, were his feelings different then? Friendlier? More than friendly?
A choked up, incredulous laugh escapes Veronica’s throat, and echoes loudly in the empty office. It is just so ironic, all of it. Hard to grasp. She never thought getting into her father’s safe would open the gates to Bizarro world.
There’s only one thing she’s sure of. Logan didn’t hate her back then, back when a blonde girl full of adventures tied them together. She saw him as a friend before Lilly died, and she hadn’t noticed him treating her like anything other than just that. Veronica searches through her mind for clues, something to confirm the new theories, brought on by finding his letter. She goes through memories that makes her smile and teary at the same time, memories of better times.
Suddenly everything seems crystal clear. A veil has been pulled from her eyes and everything just makes sense. Lilly’s behavior, how she treated Yolanda.
Logan kissing Yolanda wasn’t the reason why they broke up, Veronica suddenly realizes. How Lilly turned her back on Yolanda, freezing her out, it was a warning. What would happen to Veronica if she ever went after Logan. Because Logan was Lilly’s, no matter how many times she carelessly ditched him and picked him back up.
“You know how I feel about Veronica.”
Lilly knew, he said so, right there.
When did he tell her, what did he tell her?
* * *
Going to school the next day, Veronica can’t help but smile as she walks down the halls. It’s like she’s been given a present, a mystery only she can unravel. A secret, hers and Logan’s alone. Veronica loves mysteries; she loves the search for truth, finding out what’s right and what’s not. It’s what she does, what she is - an investigator. Right now, she’s a kid on Christmas morning, gift still wrapped in her hands, still feeling that sweet anticipation of just what she wished for, right in front of her. Technically, that would mean Logan’s her present to unwrap, which he most probably isn’t, but Veronica will live with that satisfying hope, if just for now. At the moment, all she will do is watch. Watch, and learn. She’s a detective, she’s staked out more cheating husbands than there are strippers in Vegas, she can decipher one teenage boy’s emotions. Right?
If she usually stays as far away from Logan as she can, today, she lets herself be open to all of his taunts. She’s got an ace up her sleeve, a winning card to play if things get out of hand. She doesn’t intend to, hell, she has no idea what to make of this whole letter to Lilly. She doesn’t plan to just confront him about it, but it’s a safety net and it’s reassuring. Vicious words of his that used to cut deep into her bone, even if she never let it on, now wash off her like water.
Today is a good day to be Veronica Mars.
>> Part 2