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Re: Lady-dear... nematoddity January 26 2008, 04:04:51 UTC
I have, I know, and I thank you....I'm trying to concentrate on me, too.

We've done a lot of talking. She's upset I posted this, but hey, be upset, lady, for me, that's better than blank and depressed. They put her on a new antidepressant and one dose brought her back some energy, some sparkle in her eyes, and I think I can come back down from the ceiling.

Bad news for me: I am, almost completely, hollowed out. I have zip for defenses. Every problem--from "damn, my knee won't support me" down to "drat, my headset cord is tangled around a box"--hits at the same "OMG WORLD IS TEH OVERRRR" level.

Adrenaline jangling through me, shaking, stress...just *no* resources to fight anything off.

But I'll get 'em back. I feel very much like one of those fox terriers who's been kicked hard enough for ribs to break. Everything hurts, but I can still yap yap yap and sound the alarm.

But I'm working through it. I'm not pushing. I'm sleeping a ton.

Slow, though. I'm coming back so slow.

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Re: Lady-dear... nematoddity January 28 2008, 04:53:41 UTC
I will, it's just...I'm so burnt, now, it's like I have char around my energy centers. Gah.

But I'll rebuild. T'is the season, maybe, winter thaws, spring flowering, something epic like that.

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sphynxcatvp January 25 2008, 11:44:04 UTC
I suspected #1 was probably the case - it seemed awfully quick otherwise.

That's good, though... means they didn't really WANT to use that diagnosis in the first place.

Now that I know the body/brain/nerves are functional, I can research too. Hopefully I'll find something. If not, I'll definitely LEARN something in the process. :)

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nematoddity January 26 2008, 04:07:36 UTC
*hugs you*

That'd be good. I've been finding frack-all. But yeah, yesterday, all the wandering around, all the walking, seemed to achieve some clarity at least. And we're both doing better, so yay for resilience? Or something. :)

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sparklebutch January 25 2008, 18:40:50 UTC
I wish you good, calm things. I wish you strength, and a relief.

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nematoddity January 26 2008, 04:08:45 UTC
I'll hope for good, calm things too. I'm finding my strength again. And I'll hope for relief.

In the meantime, I help where I can, sleep and recover where I can't, and I'm slowly letting go of the fact that we came this close.

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diagnosis mutaytedjoe January 27 2008, 19:38:41 UTC
Well why the hell couldn't they have told you that last time?

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Re: diagnosis nematoddity January 28 2008, 00:19:06 UTC
Believe it or not, because there are three doctors on her case--a neurologist, a GP and an osteopath. The GP and the osteopath work closely together--they're both VA--and the neuro is through OHSU. And doesn't communicate as well. :)

Doc we saw was one of the VA ones. The GP also put Cat on new antidepressants that, miraculously, seem to be working. She's *smiling* again. Hells, *I* feel shakier than she does right now.

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teal_cuttlefish January 29 2008, 06:24:03 UTC
That's much more comforting news than the first I read, and I'm glad it's practicality rather than prejudice that spurred a diagnosis that doesn't really fit.

I hope by the time you see this you have rested enough to have some reserves returning; you do in fact sound hollow. what miracle med did they give C? Both spice are on cymbalta and i'm on lexapro, and I think the lexapro is starting to slip a bit. I've been on it for around 5 years, which is a pretty good time.

Good for oldest child, both for the support and the attempt to control the uncontrollable. Since bricks aren't appropriate discipline devices, ignoring said child may be your best alternative a lot of the time. I have another friend who lived with a grandson with ODD, and it was rough on him as well, even though he was living with his mother who was primary caretaker. It's just hard to be around, due to no one's actual fault.

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nematoddity January 30 2008, 22:55:27 UTC
Well, his problem is ODD compounded by OCD compounded by Asperger's (though I still don't think it's Asperger's, but some other autistic form).

She's on generic Aventyl, nortriptyline, which seems to be having great effect. She gets depressed; she doesn't get crushed. It's a distinct difference.

Two things worrying me a bit: one--and I know it's just the current situation--I have a little time, and I rebuild some energy, and then I have to spring into action and make food and it all just flows away. Yesterday, pad thai for seven. Today, preparing and starting a twenty-pound turkey. I just get spent.

Also, it feels like I actually have a circle of char around my heart chakra. That is unusual and disturbing. Like the heart chakra was behind this square of heavy linen, and something burned through it from one side or the other, so the edges crumble and it's all fragile and black. Creepy.

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