Wedding
Title: Wedding
Author: nelliedances/Miss Ruby Tuesday
Rating: G
Pairings: Jack/Elizabeth
Warnings: Some not so minor ones for DMC
Disclaimer: Sure I own it; I also have a great bridge for sale in Brooklyn, if anyone's interested.
Summary: It wasn't being arrested that hurt so much, it was the waiting.
Notes: Thanks to jacksmermaid for catching the mistakes my addled brain missed.
Elizabeth blinked back tears as she stared out into the foamy white wake that flowed behind the Pearl like the train of a gown. Jack was on watch, so she wasn’t worried about being disturbed here, curled up on the tiny balcony off of the stern. She had come here to be alone with her thoughts. A tear slowly meandered down her cheek and fell into the sea below; one more drop of salt water for the ocean to claim.
She thought of her wedding day-her failed wedding day-to Will as she looked out into the inky darkness of the water. Her dress was somewhere down there, along with her childhood dreams of marrying the boy she pulled from the sea. She breathed raggedly and closed her eyes against the pain of her memories.
It wasn’t being arrested that was the worst part, she thought, it was the waiting. She’d arrived early, dressed in yellow silks. She’d fallen in love with the fabric and had ignored the little ditty that seemed to be repeated to her at every turn.
Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow.
She hadn’t been ashamed of him, really… only a tiny bit, if she admitted it to herself. Will hadn’t turned out to be very much of a pirate. There was no shame in that, though, was there? He was an honest man. She would marry in yellow because she was ashamed of herself… ashamed for wishing Will was something other than a good man, ashamed for hoping to catch a glimpse of black sails on the horizon, and ashamed for wishing for dark hair and glittering eyes instead of seeing Will’s golden brow. She was ashamed because she was not starting her marriage with a pure heart.
Elizabeth scrubbed her hand across her eyes roughly. She’d still been ready to marry him, him even with the thoughts of Jack in her mind and doubts in her heart. She’d hoped, in time, that Will would replace him in her dreams. It hadn’t mattered.
She’d grown tired of waiting in the front of the estate after Will was half an hour late. It was still sunny at that point and she’d slipped out to mingle with the guests. The whispers hadn’t begun yet; it was assumed that the groom was held up by something mundane, such as a broken wheel. Most of the guests were friends of her father’s, people who hoped to gain some favour by showing their face at the wedding of the governor’s only daughter. She’d smiled woodenly at the blur of faces wishing her well and hoped no one would notice.
The first whispers began when it was three quarters of an hour past the set time and Will was still missing. The first dark clouds had begun to sidle in, as well. Oh, they still smiled at her face, those vipers, but she could hear them as soon as she began to move away.
That’s what you get for marrying the lower classes.
What more could you expect from a blacksmith… just an apprentice at that?
I heard he’d asked for her hand for the comfortable living she’d provide him.
She’d held her head high, catching the last of the sun’s rays on her face because she knew none of that to be true. She’d heard all those whispers before, when her father had bought them a comfortable home as a wedding gift. It had embarrassed Will; he’d hoped to provide for her by himself, but it hadn’t been in the cards.
An hour and a half after the wedding was set to begin, the sun was completely gone from the sky. Black clouds loomed ominously overhead and some of the guests had started to migrate into the estate to escape the impending rain. Her father stood near the altar, chatting with some lord or admiral, and both kept looking over at her, pity written all over both their faces. She knew what they were talking about, she could hear the other guests echoing their sentiments.
I heard that the groom’d already had his way with her.
I wouldn’t blame him for jilting her. She let that pirate have his way with her before the Navy rescued her. Who’d want another man’s spoils?
It serves her right for spurning James Norrington like that.
I heard he broke their engagement because of her tainted virtue.
Those words angered her. It would be one thing to be castigated for something she’d done, but Jack had barely laid a hand on her during the whole time they’d been together. She’d imagined it, she’d wanted it, but she’d lacked the courage and he’d lacked the sobriety to accomplish anything.
And Will certainly wasn’t willing or able to cure her womb of its wanderlust. She wondered, some days, if she might as well join a nunnery.
Not long after that, the first fat drops of rain had slipped from the sky. She fancied that Heaven itself was crying for her and her interrupted nuptials. The guests, like fancy birds in their finery, had flown inside to escape the rain. She hadn’t understood that. It was just a little water. No one would melt, though her silk gown would bear the water stains like tracks of tears.
Her father had begged her to end this foolishness and come inside, but she’d refused, laughing at the sky like a madwoman. He’d finally gone inside with the others, leaving her to stare out into the grey-green waters and curse the day she’d ever met Jack Sparrow and curse again the day she’d let him sail away. She’d stood there a long time, not sure what she was waiting for, before she sank to her knees, defeated.
She rested her head against the railing of the Pearl. At least she knew that Will hadn’t abandoned her. Well, he had, but not that day. His abandonment had been a more gradual drift away as his father replaced her as the pinnacle of importance in his life. It hurt her that it didn’t hurt as much as it should. The shift of his priorities was somewhat of a relief to her.
She had been so absorbed in her maudlin thoughts that she hadn’t noticed Jack entering the cabin following his watch. He’d lit several of his lamps before he’d noticed her, peering off the Pearl’s side like all the answers of the world were hidden in her wake. He walked over, slowly, waiting for her to notice him. When she didn’t, he gently laid a hand on her hunched shoulder, startling her.
“What’re you doing here?” she spat angrily.
“’S my cabin, I’ve a right,” he answered pointedly. “What of you? Don’t see where you’ve been made captain, though you’d make a fine one, which puts you in the position of being the one whom I should be asking what you’re doing here.”
She pulled a face. “I wanted to be alone… to think.”
He slid in next to her. “Lizzie? Have you been crying?”
“No!” she snapped, the tips of her ears reddening. “Maybe.” She closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable teasing that always seemed to follow on the heels of any show of weakness on her part. When he said nothing, only stroking her cheek, she opened her eyes, bottom lips quivering even as she bit down to stop from crying again.
“’S’all right to be sad, luv. You’ve had a time of it recently,” he whispered. His soft words broke the dam in her heart and she threw herself against his chest while she cried herself out. Bugger. He hadn’t quite expected that to happen and he tentatively wrapped his arms around her as though she might have spikes hidden away under her thin shirt.
“How could I be so stupid?” she muttered into his shoulder. “I thought I was ready to be married, but I was wrong. I was a fool to believe he’d want me for me. I was nothing more than the Guinevere to his Arthur!” Her hands bunched the material at over his arms and he sighed. At least the tears were lessening a little.
“Young William is a fool, darling. He won’t see you for what you really are because he’d have to admit some love for a pirate if he did. You’re safe when you’re a lady. Well,” he said thoughtfully. “Not safe, but it’s the gist that matters.”
She looked up at him and he found himself remember the taste of her lips, her betrayal, when she’d left him for dead. He imagined her mouth would taste like the ocean now, full of the salt from her tears. She leaned in closer and if Jack was a lesser man, he would’ve kissed her. Instead, he pulled her to her feet, unwilling to surrender that bit of himself to her.
“Come on, dearie, let’s get you in before the sirens lure you into the deep.” She sighed and it sounded almost like she was disappointed. There be monsters in her heart, he thought, and he’s not over the last one enough to fight these yet. Still though, he continued to hold onto her hand even after they were inside again. She’ll sleep here tonight again, he thought, almost sure of it, and in the morning things will go back to the way they have been: He’d flirt and play the coquette to her prickly exterior.
Or she’d break him and things would never be the same again.
“Jack?” she said quietly, already settling herself into his berth. “Will you stay tonight? With me?”
This was the breaking point. He could turn hard and avoid the shoals or he could wreck himself at her feet. He nodded to her, moving closer. Perhaps it’s time for a change of winds, anyway.