Looking for Yesterday - Chapter 2
Title: Looking for Yesterday (AO3)
Series: Star Trek AOS
Author: neko-fish
Beta: siluria
Pairings: Jim/Bones, Spock/Uhura
Rating: NC-17
Summary: He never meant to survive the war. For three years, Jim Kirk drifted from place to place, plagued by nightmares and unwanted memories. But after a fateful accident, suddenly, he finds himself face to face with the ghost of the one he lost.
Warnings: Post-WW2 AU, PTSD, hurt/comfort.
Prologue// Chapter 1
Chapter 2:
The cup fell from his hand and clattered noisily on the floor as Jim sat there and gawked.
There was a long pause between them.
In the silence, he could hear Frankie Laine playing from down the hall.
The doctor looked down at the cup then back up at him with a raised brow. Waving his hand in front of Jim’s face, he asked, “Hey, what’s wrong with you, kid? You look like you just saw a ghost or something.” When he didn’t get a response, his worried frown deepened. “Mr. Kirk? Are your arms hurting? Hey, don’t just sit there, gawking like an idiot. Talk to me.”
Snapping out of his reverie and opening and closing his mouth a couple times, Jim’s mind raced to find something appropriate to say. With his words stuck in his throat, all he managed to let out was a weak “Bones….”
“What now?” The lookalike shot him a confused expression and began going over his charts. “What about your bones? You didn’t have any fractures or breaks from what I recall-you didn’t break anything while trying to slide down the railings, did you? If you did, I hate to say it, but you deserve it for being such an infant.”
Promptly shutting his mouth, Jim sat there and tried to think of a different way to approach the situation. In front of him was the man who he’d had the best dreams and the worst nightmares about.
But it couldn’t be him.
It couldn’t.
Sure, he looked and talked exactly like the Leonard McCoy he knew. But as far as Jim knew, Leonard was an only child. So he was convinced that the man had to be either a doppelganger or a clone.
Swallowing thickly and clutching at his tags, he asked, “Hey doc, what’s your name?”
His question earned him a suspicious expression. “It’s Leonard McCoy. Why?”
Jim’s jaw went slack and the only thing he could think of to say was, “Applesauce.”
The man had to be lying.
If there was one thing he was certain of, it was that Leonard McCoy died in the war three years ago.
“It is really so hard to believe? And mind your language, kid,” Leonard warned him idly. After looking Jim over and seemingly satisfied that he was coherent once more, hazel eyes returned to the clipboard. “Swing your legs over the bed and sit up, would you?”
Doing as he was told with a little effort, Jim took the opportunity to study the lookalike a little closer. Eyes trailing towards Leonard’s left index finger, his breath caught in his throat when he found exactly what he was looking for: a sharp, white scar running between the first and second joint.
“Dammit, Jim! Don’t sneak up on me like that! I nearly cut my goddamn finger off!”
“My bad… Hey, Bones? I’m no doctor, but that’s an awful lot of blood your finger’s spurting out there. Is that normal?”
It was getting harder to pass everything-this man-off as a simple coincidence. Still, determined to get to the bottom of all this confusion, he continued, “Hey, doc, where were you born?”
“Good lord, did you do this to all my staff? I don’t have time to be interrogated.” Leonard frowned and began checking over Jim’s bandaged limbs. But after a moment, he sighed and answered, “Georgia. Happy? Now, it looks like your stitches haven’t been ripped-I’m not sure how, but they look fine. And your bruises have mostly faded which is a good sign.”
Ignoring Leonard’s muttering, he continued bombarding the other with questions. “What city in Georgia? And what year?”
Finally pausing in his actions, Leonard stared at him in bewilderment. “I don’t know and I don’t know. What’s with all the questions, kid?”
Jim sat up a little straighter at the answer. Maybe it was the shock of seeing Leonard alive and breathing or maybe it was how he was being treated like a stranger that made Jim frantic for answers. Sounding more desperate than he intended to, he asked, “What do you mean you don’t know? Are you just saying it to get me to stop asking you questions?-because Hikaru used to do that to me, but I can tell you that it’s not effective in the least.”
Leonard raised a hand to cut him off. “Settle down before you hurt yourself, Mr. Kirk. That last thing I want is for you to be here for another week. You’re a terrible influence on the nurses. I actually don’t know.”
“How can you not know these things? It’s basic information,” he squawked.
“Why does any of this matter to you?” was the defensive reply.
“It just does! It matters a lot to me!”
Eyebrows furrowing, Leonard frowned. “Why? Did we know each other or something?”
“Did we know each other or-” Jim stopped and blinked, brain going into overdrive from trying to process the other’s words. He grabbed the man’s sleeve in bewilderment. “What do you mean did ‘we know each other or something?’ You don’t remember? How can you not remember, Bones?”
“You keep calling me that, but I have no idea why. I’m going to assume this means I knew you from before.” Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, Leonard offered him a rueful expression. “Look, I’m sorry, kid, but I really don’t remember, okay? I don’t remember much of anything.”
Jim narrowed his eyes skeptically and studied the man for a moment before concluding, “You’re being serious. You’re actually being serious.” He paused and let his hands go limp in his lap. “Do you remember what happened?”
Guarded hazel eyes regarded him for a moment before answering, “Look, I don’t have time to explain everything to you. And quite frankly, I don’t know you well enough to tell you the few details I know. Long story short, I woke up in a little village in France and realized that had no memory of anything.” Almost nonchalantly, he added, “I’ve treated patients with memory loss since I arrived here, and after looking at all of them, I’m still the worst case I know of.”
“How’d you figure out your name then?” Jim asked.
“I had a slip of paper with a couple pieces of information about myself on it-or I assumed it was about me. You know, name, state of birth, occupation and whatnot.”
“Occupation? But you didn’t have your MD then….” He promptly shut his mouth.
Leonard shot him an interested look. “No. Apparently I didn’t-or at least it wasn’t in the records. But luckily I came across this hospital. They were so severely short on staff that all they did was test my skills. And I guess I was good enough because they took me in. It's unprofessional, but hey, who am I to complain? They even pulled a couple of strings with the med school nearby. I got to write my exams and received my MD from them instead.”
Jim nodded, mind still struggling to comprehend the situation. Reaching up, he rubbed his tags for comfort. “I see. I’m glad everything worked out.”
Crossing his arms, Leonard turned to him. “Well then, Mr. Kirk, judging by your reaction, it seems pretty clear to me that we did know each other at one point in the past. Now, would you be so kind as to tell me how the hell do you know me or am I going to have to withhold your release for a couple more days? I know just how much you enjoy sneaking down the hallway and causing trouble for the nurses.”
It was an empty threat and they both knew it. Jim took a moment to ponder just how much information he should disclose. Not too much, he decided. Finally, with his mind calm enough to push his initial disbelief and shock aside, he slipped behind his carefully constructed façade once more and tried to lighten the mood with a small, teasing smile. “And spoil all the fun of remembering things on your own for you? I’d never.”
Leonard scowled. “Come on, Kirk. Don’t be an asshole and just tell me something-anything-that’ll jog my memory.”
“Quite frankly, I’m disappointed that my name and my physical presence didn’t jog your memory.” Then he added with a pout, “We were friends, you know? Best friends.”
Hazel eyes widened. “Bullshit.”
“Language, doc,” he chided with a smirk. “And it’s true. It was Jim and Bones all the way.”
Wrinkling his nose, Leonard repeated, “‘Jim and Bones’? I assume I was Bones. Why was I ‘Bones’?”
“That’s right. It’s because you were my best friend, the soon-to-be-sawbones.” Then he asked, “Did I seriously not jog any of your memories? I happen to be aware of the fact that I’m a very memorable person. This is very disappointing. I think it’s safe to say I’m heartbroken right now. Do you have some sort of treatment for that?”
Rolling his eyes, Leonard drawled sarcastically, “Yeah, I’d prescribe you a bottle of ‘suck it up and deal with it.’ Take it twice a day for the rest of your life and you’ll be fine.”
The familiar response made Jim’s heart twinge.
Taking a moment to massage his temples, Leonard sighed. “Look, as much as I’d like to spend the rest of the day interrogating you, I’ve got to finish my rounds. You stay put and I’ll be back in a little bit to continue this conversation, okay? Chapel should be here shortly to get you ready for your release.”
Jim nodded. “That sounds fine to me.”
“Anything else you want to tell me before I head off?”
“There are tonnes of things I want to tell you,” he told the man earnestly. “But you should probably go help your other patients first. I’ll be right here-promise.”
“No more attempted great escapes?”
“No more attempted great escapes.”
“Alright then. I’ll see you in a bit.” As Leonard made his way out of the room, he turned around and added, “Oh, and remind Chapel not to have any fun for me, would you?”
He nodded with feigned seriousness. “Will do, doc.”
While waiting for Chapel, Jim took a deep breath and mentally went over everything that just transpired. It was all finally starting to sink in. After three long years of being plagued by nightmares and memories, it turned out that Leonard McCoy was alive. It seemed too amazing to be true.
Jim had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
When the pain registered, still mindful of his injuries, he flopped back onto his bed and began laughing to himself, the sound foreign to his ears. How long had it been since he last laughed? And just like the laughter, the relief surging through his veins felt strange and unfamiliar to him. It’d been such a long time since he felt such…happiness.
Leonard McCoy was alive.
Memory loss aside, he was just as Jim remembered him: gruff, blunt, a workaholic, and in a constant state of exasperation. Fingers running over the tag, Jim immediately set on planning out strategies and methods to help Leonard regain his memories. Going over a list of significant figures and events in his head, he began prioritizing them.
It was hard to concentrate on the task at hand when he felt so ridiculously giddy.
His Leonard McCoy was alive.
Minutes later, Chapel stepped in with her usual professional gait. He sat back up and greeted her with a wide grin, which caused her to raise a brow and look around to make sure he was smiling at her. Picking the cup of the floor, she eyed him warily. “Strange, you seem abnormally happy for some reason. What happened, Jim? Doctor McCoy was just in here, wasn’t he? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone smiling quite so…happily after coming into contact with him.”
Jim shrugged, struggling to quell his excitement. “I’m not quite like all your other patients, now am I?”
She smiled and nodded in agreement. “Can’t argue with you there. You’re a regular nutcase, Jim Kirk.”
“Your favourite nutcase,” he corrected her. “By the way, the good doctor instructed me to remind you not to have any fun on the job.”
“I’ll try my best not to.” Chapel laughed. “It sounds like the two of you hit it off. That’s rare. Most patients around here are intimidated into silence and obedience by his constant scowling.”
“Again, I’m not like most patients. I bet he’s nothing but a big teddy bear who cares too much about others underneath that rough exterior, right?”
Chapel nodded slowly, unable to hide the amazement in her eyes. “You came to this conclusion after a ten minute chat? It takes most people years to figure that out.”
Jim winked at her. “What can I say? I’m a real charmer. He’s even coming back after his rounds to talk some more.”
Raising a brow in surprise, she repeated, “He’s coming back to talk some more…? And you’re not joking about this?”
He shook his head. “Nope. I’m not joking at all.”
Assisting him up off the bed and onto his feet, she huffed. “Good lord, now I’ve really seen everything. Just what are you, Jim? Getting the doctor to talk not just once-but twice? How are you feeling? You up to getting changed on your own?”
“Absolutely. I’m feeling great-fantastic, really.” Moving his arms too quickly, he corrected himself, “Make that fantastic with a side of pain. I’ve got to say though, I can’t wait to get out of this hospital gown. No peeking, okay?”
She rolled her eyes and turned around with crossed arms. “I’ll try my best to resist the temptation. If you need help, you better let me know. Doctor McCoy will probably suffer a stroke if you worsen your injuries.”
After a long struggle, he managed to pull on the cuffed trousers and button up the shirt Uhura and Spock brought him. Not even attempting to tie the boldly patterned necktie, he sat back down on the bed, slightly out of breath and cheeks flushed from the effort. “Nobody actually wears socks nowadays, right?”
“Are you done, Jim?”
“Yeah, I’m as done as can be. You can turn back around now.” Still breathing heavily, he looked down at himself and smiled. “I look a lot more presentable in normal clothes, don’t I?”
She rolled her eyes again and ruffled his hair as one would a child, indulging him. “Oh, yes. What a transformation. I can barely recognize you, you spiffy thing, you. It’s like you jumped right out of this month’s issue of Esquire. Do you need a drink of water or anything?”
“Now, Nurse Chapel, what did I say about spoiling him and having too much fun on the job?” a voice interrupted them.
Her head snapped up in surprise. “Doctor McCoy!”
Jim’s lips curled into knowing grin. “You didn’t think I was serious, did you?”
Chapel gaped. “I can’t believe it.”
Leonard raised a brow. “Can’t believe what now? Why are you staring at me like I just sprouted another head?” He immediately shot Jim an accusing scowl. “Kirk, what’d you say to her?”
Blue eyes widened as he protested, “What? Why me? I’m just an innocent patient! All I said to her was that you’d be back to continue our little talk from earlier! That’s all! And I reminded her not to have fun like you told me to! Nurse Chapel, tell him I’m innocent!”
Unfortunately, Chapel was still too busy gawking at the doctor’s presence to help him.
Crossing his arms, Leonard scowled. “Dammit, Kirk, we’re already understaffed as it is. I need all my nurses at their best.”
“Why am I the only one getting blamed here?” Jim frowned. “I find this grossly unfair.”
“Oh, cry me a river.” Sighing in exasperation, Leonard turned to his nurse. “Chapel, are you done staring? Mitchell’s bandages need to be changed and Carter’s convinced someone’s stolen her gramophone-again.”
Snapping out of her trance, she quickly nodded. “I’ll get right on it. See you later, Jim.” On her way out, she turned around and smiled teasingly. “And no having fun, doctor.”
Leonard snorted with a hint of a smile on his lips. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Waiting until Chapel left the room, he turned his attention back to Jim. “So, back to our conversation earlier.”
Jim nodded and repeated in agreement, “So back to our conversation earlier.”
“I really don’t have much time to spare so are you going to tell me more stuff or not?” Leonard urged him.
He paused and frowned. “At the risk of sounding like a sassy brat, I’m going to say that maybe you’re rushing this a little too much.”
Hazel eyes narrowed. “You do sound like a sassy brat.” Then running a hand through his hair, he sighed. “Look, I know rushing things is probably a bad idea, especially given the severity of my case. But that’s just what happens when you spend three years trying to remember things and coming up with nothing. Then out of nowhere, some kid claiming to be your best friend shows up. Do you know what it’s like not remembering your own birthday?”
“January 21st , 1917.”
Leonard blinked. “What?”
“Your birthday. You were born on January 21st, 1917.” Jim offered him a feeble shrug. “Look, I bet it’s really frustrating not remembering anything. Hell, it’s frustrating just watching you. I want you to get all your memories back ASAP as well, but like you said, you’ve got a pretty severe case on your hands, so have some patience, okay?” Earnestly, he added, “I promise I’ll help you through this-no matter how long it takes.”
Heaving a sigh, Leonard conceded, “Fine. What do you propose then? And just so we’re clear, I’m only trusting your word because I don’t have much else to go on right now. It’s been years and nothing’s worked. I’m tired of not remembering.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not lying to you,” Jim reassured him. He glanced up at the ceiling, trying to recall the list he had conjured up a little while ago. Remembering the priorities he had lined up, he suggested, “How about I give you a little material to work with and see if those jog any of your memories? We can rendezvous either when you get a day off or when I come back to get my stitches removed in a week.”
After considering the proposal for a moment, Leonard nodded in agreement. “I guess that’d work. Chances are I won’t get a day off between now and forever, so it looks like it’ll have to wait till you come back. Of course, that’s assuming you don’t get yourself hospitalized again between now and then.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “You technically only met me like, an hour ago and you already know me so well.” Then he added just for good measure, “I missed your sweet talk.”
Leonard’s eyebrow shot up in disbelief. “Jesus, just what kind of friendship did we have?”
“The best kind, obviously,” he replied with practiced ease.
With a scoff, Leonard shook his head. “Can’t say I’m entirely convinced about that, Kirk.”
“Just call me Jim. Please?” It sounded like a plea-and it was one.
“If I call you Jim, Chapel will think I fell for your charm or something.” Leonard snorted.
Jim pouted. “You mean you didn’t? That’s almost as depressing as being forgotten.” Theatrically, he snapped his fingers and crossed his arms. “And here I was, hoping that I’d be able to convince you to come to a drive-in with me later this week.”
“On your wrecked motorcycle? No thanks,” Leonard replied with a scoff. “I’ll call you Jim when I remember you again or when you can prove the validity of everything you just told me. So before I allow your friends to come in and collect you, do you actually have ‘material’ for me to work with?”
He perked up and nodded. “Yes. I actually do.” Grabbing his wallet from the few personal effects they managed to salvage on the night of the accident, he pulled out a few old photographs and sifted through them.
One of them made him pause.
It was an old photo of the two of them with Joanna-only three at the time-who stood between them and had an arm around each of their legs, poking her head out with a grin. The photo was taken a couple of days before their departure when Eleanora McCoy decided to pay them a visit. They were dressed in their uniforms that day, and he could remember how Joanna suddenly found herself camera shy and decided to hide behind them. The two of them were looking down, away from the camera, busy trying to coax her into smiling.
Pushing the fond memories aside, he continued looking through them until coming across a more recent photograph of her. Handing it over, he told Leonard, “Here, let’s just start with one thing at a time. You can hang onto this until we meet again.”
Hazel eyes blinked, showing no sign of recognition. “This is…?”
“Her name’s Joanna,” Jim informed him, unable to hide the affection in his voice. “She’s living with her grandmother right now. And in a couple months, she’ll be turning nine.”
“Joanna,” Leonard repeated hesitantly. He held the picture in his hands, eyes wide with disbelief. After a long moment, he whispered, “I don’t know what to say….”
Jim shrugged, restraining himself from blurting everything out. “I guess just see if you can remember anything and let me know. If you need to contact me before next week, I’m staying at my friends’ place right now. I wrote down all their contact information on one of the forms you guys made me fill out.” With a sincere smile, he added, “I’m really glad you’re alive, Bones.”
Full of emotion, hazel eyes looked up. “Kirk, I-”
“Doctor McCoy, you’re needed in the ER!”
Hesitantly, Leonard glanced over at him. Jim raised a brow and motioned towards the hallway. “Hurry up and go already. You’re a real doctor now, aren’t you? You’ve got lives to save and whatnot. I’ll see you in a couple days, Bones-I can still call you Bones, right?”
Leonard nodded his silent consent and made his way towards the door. “I’ll get one of the nurses to go fetch your friends.” Before stepping out, he paused and shot him one last glance. “I guess we’ll continue this in a week then…Jim.”
And then he disappeared.
Shoulders going slack, Jim smiled to himself, feeling deliriously happy. “Yeah, I guess we’ll continue this in a week then, Bones.”
His Leonard McCoy was alive.
Back to Chapter 1
Onwards to Chapter 3
Series: Star Trek AOS
Author: neko-fish
Beta: siluria
Pairings: Jim/Bones, Spock/Uhura
Rating: NC-17
Summary: He never meant to survive the war. For three years, Jim Kirk drifted from place to place, plagued by nightmares and unwanted memories. But after a fateful accident, suddenly, he finds himself face to face with the ghost of the one he lost.
Warnings: Post-WW2 AU, PTSD, hurt/comfort.
Prologue// Chapter 1
Chapter 2:
The cup fell from his hand and clattered noisily on the floor as Jim sat there and gawked.
There was a long pause between them.
In the silence, he could hear Frankie Laine playing from down the hall.
The doctor looked down at the cup then back up at him with a raised brow. Waving his hand in front of Jim’s face, he asked, “Hey, what’s wrong with you, kid? You look like you just saw a ghost or something.” When he didn’t get a response, his worried frown deepened. “Mr. Kirk? Are your arms hurting? Hey, don’t just sit there, gawking like an idiot. Talk to me.”
Snapping out of his reverie and opening and closing his mouth a couple times, Jim’s mind raced to find something appropriate to say. With his words stuck in his throat, all he managed to let out was a weak “Bones….”
“What now?” The lookalike shot him a confused expression and began going over his charts. “What about your bones? You didn’t have any fractures or breaks from what I recall-you didn’t break anything while trying to slide down the railings, did you? If you did, I hate to say it, but you deserve it for being such an infant.”
Promptly shutting his mouth, Jim sat there and tried to think of a different way to approach the situation. In front of him was the man who he’d had the best dreams and the worst nightmares about.
But it couldn’t be him.
It couldn’t.
Sure, he looked and talked exactly like the Leonard McCoy he knew. But as far as Jim knew, Leonard was an only child. So he was convinced that the man had to be either a doppelganger or a clone.
Swallowing thickly and clutching at his tags, he asked, “Hey doc, what’s your name?”
His question earned him a suspicious expression. “It’s Leonard McCoy. Why?”
Jim’s jaw went slack and the only thing he could think of to say was, “Applesauce.”
The man had to be lying.
If there was one thing he was certain of, it was that Leonard McCoy died in the war three years ago.
“It is really so hard to believe? And mind your language, kid,” Leonard warned him idly. After looking Jim over and seemingly satisfied that he was coherent once more, hazel eyes returned to the clipboard. “Swing your legs over the bed and sit up, would you?”
Doing as he was told with a little effort, Jim took the opportunity to study the lookalike a little closer. Eyes trailing towards Leonard’s left index finger, his breath caught in his throat when he found exactly what he was looking for: a sharp, white scar running between the first and second joint.
“Dammit, Jim! Don’t sneak up on me like that! I nearly cut my goddamn finger off!”
“My bad… Hey, Bones? I’m no doctor, but that’s an awful lot of blood your finger’s spurting out there. Is that normal?”
It was getting harder to pass everything-this man-off as a simple coincidence. Still, determined to get to the bottom of all this confusion, he continued, “Hey, doc, where were you born?”
“Good lord, did you do this to all my staff? I don’t have time to be interrogated.” Leonard frowned and began checking over Jim’s bandaged limbs. But after a moment, he sighed and answered, “Georgia. Happy? Now, it looks like your stitches haven’t been ripped-I’m not sure how, but they look fine. And your bruises have mostly faded which is a good sign.”
Ignoring Leonard’s muttering, he continued bombarding the other with questions. “What city in Georgia? And what year?”
Finally pausing in his actions, Leonard stared at him in bewilderment. “I don’t know and I don’t know. What’s with all the questions, kid?”
Jim sat up a little straighter at the answer. Maybe it was the shock of seeing Leonard alive and breathing or maybe it was how he was being treated like a stranger that made Jim frantic for answers. Sounding more desperate than he intended to, he asked, “What do you mean you don’t know? Are you just saying it to get me to stop asking you questions?-because Hikaru used to do that to me, but I can tell you that it’s not effective in the least.”
Leonard raised a hand to cut him off. “Settle down before you hurt yourself, Mr. Kirk. That last thing I want is for you to be here for another week. You’re a terrible influence on the nurses. I actually don’t know.”
“How can you not know these things? It’s basic information,” he squawked.
“Why does any of this matter to you?” was the defensive reply.
“It just does! It matters a lot to me!”
Eyebrows furrowing, Leonard frowned. “Why? Did we know each other or something?”
“Did we know each other or-” Jim stopped and blinked, brain going into overdrive from trying to process the other’s words. He grabbed the man’s sleeve in bewilderment. “What do you mean did ‘we know each other or something?’ You don’t remember? How can you not remember, Bones?”
“You keep calling me that, but I have no idea why. I’m going to assume this means I knew you from before.” Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, Leonard offered him a rueful expression. “Look, I’m sorry, kid, but I really don’t remember, okay? I don’t remember much of anything.”
Jim narrowed his eyes skeptically and studied the man for a moment before concluding, “You’re being serious. You’re actually being serious.” He paused and let his hands go limp in his lap. “Do you remember what happened?”
Guarded hazel eyes regarded him for a moment before answering, “Look, I don’t have time to explain everything to you. And quite frankly, I don’t know you well enough to tell you the few details I know. Long story short, I woke up in a little village in France and realized that had no memory of anything.” Almost nonchalantly, he added, “I’ve treated patients with memory loss since I arrived here, and after looking at all of them, I’m still the worst case I know of.”
“How’d you figure out your name then?” Jim asked.
“I had a slip of paper with a couple pieces of information about myself on it-or I assumed it was about me. You know, name, state of birth, occupation and whatnot.”
“Occupation? But you didn’t have your MD then….” He promptly shut his mouth.
Leonard shot him an interested look. “No. Apparently I didn’t-or at least it wasn’t in the records. But luckily I came across this hospital. They were so severely short on staff that all they did was test my skills. And I guess I was good enough because they took me in. It's unprofessional, but hey, who am I to complain? They even pulled a couple of strings with the med school nearby. I got to write my exams and received my MD from them instead.”
Jim nodded, mind still struggling to comprehend the situation. Reaching up, he rubbed his tags for comfort. “I see. I’m glad everything worked out.”
Crossing his arms, Leonard turned to him. “Well then, Mr. Kirk, judging by your reaction, it seems pretty clear to me that we did know each other at one point in the past. Now, would you be so kind as to tell me how the hell do you know me or am I going to have to withhold your release for a couple more days? I know just how much you enjoy sneaking down the hallway and causing trouble for the nurses.”
It was an empty threat and they both knew it. Jim took a moment to ponder just how much information he should disclose. Not too much, he decided. Finally, with his mind calm enough to push his initial disbelief and shock aside, he slipped behind his carefully constructed façade once more and tried to lighten the mood with a small, teasing smile. “And spoil all the fun of remembering things on your own for you? I’d never.”
Leonard scowled. “Come on, Kirk. Don’t be an asshole and just tell me something-anything-that’ll jog my memory.”
“Quite frankly, I’m disappointed that my name and my physical presence didn’t jog your memory.” Then he added with a pout, “We were friends, you know? Best friends.”
Hazel eyes widened. “Bullshit.”
“Language, doc,” he chided with a smirk. “And it’s true. It was Jim and Bones all the way.”
Wrinkling his nose, Leonard repeated, “‘Jim and Bones’? I assume I was Bones. Why was I ‘Bones’?”
“That’s right. It’s because you were my best friend, the soon-to-be-sawbones.” Then he asked, “Did I seriously not jog any of your memories? I happen to be aware of the fact that I’m a very memorable person. This is very disappointing. I think it’s safe to say I’m heartbroken right now. Do you have some sort of treatment for that?”
Rolling his eyes, Leonard drawled sarcastically, “Yeah, I’d prescribe you a bottle of ‘suck it up and deal with it.’ Take it twice a day for the rest of your life and you’ll be fine.”
The familiar response made Jim’s heart twinge.
Taking a moment to massage his temples, Leonard sighed. “Look, as much as I’d like to spend the rest of the day interrogating you, I’ve got to finish my rounds. You stay put and I’ll be back in a little bit to continue this conversation, okay? Chapel should be here shortly to get you ready for your release.”
Jim nodded. “That sounds fine to me.”
“Anything else you want to tell me before I head off?”
“There are tonnes of things I want to tell you,” he told the man earnestly. “But you should probably go help your other patients first. I’ll be right here-promise.”
“No more attempted great escapes?”
“No more attempted great escapes.”
“Alright then. I’ll see you in a bit.” As Leonard made his way out of the room, he turned around and added, “Oh, and remind Chapel not to have any fun for me, would you?”
He nodded with feigned seriousness. “Will do, doc.”
While waiting for Chapel, Jim took a deep breath and mentally went over everything that just transpired. It was all finally starting to sink in. After three long years of being plagued by nightmares and memories, it turned out that Leonard McCoy was alive. It seemed too amazing to be true.
Jim had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
When the pain registered, still mindful of his injuries, he flopped back onto his bed and began laughing to himself, the sound foreign to his ears. How long had it been since he last laughed? And just like the laughter, the relief surging through his veins felt strange and unfamiliar to him. It’d been such a long time since he felt such…happiness.
Leonard McCoy was alive.
Memory loss aside, he was just as Jim remembered him: gruff, blunt, a workaholic, and in a constant state of exasperation. Fingers running over the tag, Jim immediately set on planning out strategies and methods to help Leonard regain his memories. Going over a list of significant figures and events in his head, he began prioritizing them.
It was hard to concentrate on the task at hand when he felt so ridiculously giddy.
His Leonard McCoy was alive.
Minutes later, Chapel stepped in with her usual professional gait. He sat back up and greeted her with a wide grin, which caused her to raise a brow and look around to make sure he was smiling at her. Picking the cup of the floor, she eyed him warily. “Strange, you seem abnormally happy for some reason. What happened, Jim? Doctor McCoy was just in here, wasn’t he? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone smiling quite so…happily after coming into contact with him.”
Jim shrugged, struggling to quell his excitement. “I’m not quite like all your other patients, now am I?”
She smiled and nodded in agreement. “Can’t argue with you there. You’re a regular nutcase, Jim Kirk.”
“Your favourite nutcase,” he corrected her. “By the way, the good doctor instructed me to remind you not to have any fun on the job.”
“I’ll try my best not to.” Chapel laughed. “It sounds like the two of you hit it off. That’s rare. Most patients around here are intimidated into silence and obedience by his constant scowling.”
“Again, I’m not like most patients. I bet he’s nothing but a big teddy bear who cares too much about others underneath that rough exterior, right?”
Chapel nodded slowly, unable to hide the amazement in her eyes. “You came to this conclusion after a ten minute chat? It takes most people years to figure that out.”
Jim winked at her. “What can I say? I’m a real charmer. He’s even coming back after his rounds to talk some more.”
Raising a brow in surprise, she repeated, “He’s coming back to talk some more…? And you’re not joking about this?”
He shook his head. “Nope. I’m not joking at all.”
Assisting him up off the bed and onto his feet, she huffed. “Good lord, now I’ve really seen everything. Just what are you, Jim? Getting the doctor to talk not just once-but twice? How are you feeling? You up to getting changed on your own?”
“Absolutely. I’m feeling great-fantastic, really.” Moving his arms too quickly, he corrected himself, “Make that fantastic with a side of pain. I’ve got to say though, I can’t wait to get out of this hospital gown. No peeking, okay?”
She rolled her eyes and turned around with crossed arms. “I’ll try my best to resist the temptation. If you need help, you better let me know. Doctor McCoy will probably suffer a stroke if you worsen your injuries.”
After a long struggle, he managed to pull on the cuffed trousers and button up the shirt Uhura and Spock brought him. Not even attempting to tie the boldly patterned necktie, he sat back down on the bed, slightly out of breath and cheeks flushed from the effort. “Nobody actually wears socks nowadays, right?”
“Are you done, Jim?”
“Yeah, I’m as done as can be. You can turn back around now.” Still breathing heavily, he looked down at himself and smiled. “I look a lot more presentable in normal clothes, don’t I?”
She rolled her eyes again and ruffled his hair as one would a child, indulging him. “Oh, yes. What a transformation. I can barely recognize you, you spiffy thing, you. It’s like you jumped right out of this month’s issue of Esquire. Do you need a drink of water or anything?”
“Now, Nurse Chapel, what did I say about spoiling him and having too much fun on the job?” a voice interrupted them.
Her head snapped up in surprise. “Doctor McCoy!”
Jim’s lips curled into knowing grin. “You didn’t think I was serious, did you?”
Chapel gaped. “I can’t believe it.”
Leonard raised a brow. “Can’t believe what now? Why are you staring at me like I just sprouted another head?” He immediately shot Jim an accusing scowl. “Kirk, what’d you say to her?”
Blue eyes widened as he protested, “What? Why me? I’m just an innocent patient! All I said to her was that you’d be back to continue our little talk from earlier! That’s all! And I reminded her not to have fun like you told me to! Nurse Chapel, tell him I’m innocent!”
Unfortunately, Chapel was still too busy gawking at the doctor’s presence to help him.
Crossing his arms, Leonard scowled. “Dammit, Kirk, we’re already understaffed as it is. I need all my nurses at their best.”
“Why am I the only one getting blamed here?” Jim frowned. “I find this grossly unfair.”
“Oh, cry me a river.” Sighing in exasperation, Leonard turned to his nurse. “Chapel, are you done staring? Mitchell’s bandages need to be changed and Carter’s convinced someone’s stolen her gramophone-again.”
Snapping out of her trance, she quickly nodded. “I’ll get right on it. See you later, Jim.” On her way out, she turned around and smiled teasingly. “And no having fun, doctor.”
Leonard snorted with a hint of a smile on his lips. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Waiting until Chapel left the room, he turned his attention back to Jim. “So, back to our conversation earlier.”
Jim nodded and repeated in agreement, “So back to our conversation earlier.”
“I really don’t have much time to spare so are you going to tell me more stuff or not?” Leonard urged him.
He paused and frowned. “At the risk of sounding like a sassy brat, I’m going to say that maybe you’re rushing this a little too much.”
Hazel eyes narrowed. “You do sound like a sassy brat.” Then running a hand through his hair, he sighed. “Look, I know rushing things is probably a bad idea, especially given the severity of my case. But that’s just what happens when you spend three years trying to remember things and coming up with nothing. Then out of nowhere, some kid claiming to be your best friend shows up. Do you know what it’s like not remembering your own birthday?”
“January 21st , 1917.”
Leonard blinked. “What?”
“Your birthday. You were born on January 21st, 1917.” Jim offered him a feeble shrug. “Look, I bet it’s really frustrating not remembering anything. Hell, it’s frustrating just watching you. I want you to get all your memories back ASAP as well, but like you said, you’ve got a pretty severe case on your hands, so have some patience, okay?” Earnestly, he added, “I promise I’ll help you through this-no matter how long it takes.”
Heaving a sigh, Leonard conceded, “Fine. What do you propose then? And just so we’re clear, I’m only trusting your word because I don’t have much else to go on right now. It’s been years and nothing’s worked. I’m tired of not remembering.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not lying to you,” Jim reassured him. He glanced up at the ceiling, trying to recall the list he had conjured up a little while ago. Remembering the priorities he had lined up, he suggested, “How about I give you a little material to work with and see if those jog any of your memories? We can rendezvous either when you get a day off or when I come back to get my stitches removed in a week.”
After considering the proposal for a moment, Leonard nodded in agreement. “I guess that’d work. Chances are I won’t get a day off between now and forever, so it looks like it’ll have to wait till you come back. Of course, that’s assuming you don’t get yourself hospitalized again between now and then.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “You technically only met me like, an hour ago and you already know me so well.” Then he added just for good measure, “I missed your sweet talk.”
Leonard’s eyebrow shot up in disbelief. “Jesus, just what kind of friendship did we have?”
“The best kind, obviously,” he replied with practiced ease.
With a scoff, Leonard shook his head. “Can’t say I’m entirely convinced about that, Kirk.”
“Just call me Jim. Please?” It sounded like a plea-and it was one.
“If I call you Jim, Chapel will think I fell for your charm or something.” Leonard snorted.
Jim pouted. “You mean you didn’t? That’s almost as depressing as being forgotten.” Theatrically, he snapped his fingers and crossed his arms. “And here I was, hoping that I’d be able to convince you to come to a drive-in with me later this week.”
“On your wrecked motorcycle? No thanks,” Leonard replied with a scoff. “I’ll call you Jim when I remember you again or when you can prove the validity of everything you just told me. So before I allow your friends to come in and collect you, do you actually have ‘material’ for me to work with?”
He perked up and nodded. “Yes. I actually do.” Grabbing his wallet from the few personal effects they managed to salvage on the night of the accident, he pulled out a few old photographs and sifted through them.
One of them made him pause.
It was an old photo of the two of them with Joanna-only three at the time-who stood between them and had an arm around each of their legs, poking her head out with a grin. The photo was taken a couple of days before their departure when Eleanora McCoy decided to pay them a visit. They were dressed in their uniforms that day, and he could remember how Joanna suddenly found herself camera shy and decided to hide behind them. The two of them were looking down, away from the camera, busy trying to coax her into smiling.
Pushing the fond memories aside, he continued looking through them until coming across a more recent photograph of her. Handing it over, he told Leonard, “Here, let’s just start with one thing at a time. You can hang onto this until we meet again.”
Hazel eyes blinked, showing no sign of recognition. “This is…?”
“Her name’s Joanna,” Jim informed him, unable to hide the affection in his voice. “She’s living with her grandmother right now. And in a couple months, she’ll be turning nine.”
“Joanna,” Leonard repeated hesitantly. He held the picture in his hands, eyes wide with disbelief. After a long moment, he whispered, “I don’t know what to say….”
Jim shrugged, restraining himself from blurting everything out. “I guess just see if you can remember anything and let me know. If you need to contact me before next week, I’m staying at my friends’ place right now. I wrote down all their contact information on one of the forms you guys made me fill out.” With a sincere smile, he added, “I’m really glad you’re alive, Bones.”
Full of emotion, hazel eyes looked up. “Kirk, I-”
“Doctor McCoy, you’re needed in the ER!”
Hesitantly, Leonard glanced over at him. Jim raised a brow and motioned towards the hallway. “Hurry up and go already. You’re a real doctor now, aren’t you? You’ve got lives to save and whatnot. I’ll see you in a couple days, Bones-I can still call you Bones, right?”
Leonard nodded his silent consent and made his way towards the door. “I’ll get one of the nurses to go fetch your friends.” Before stepping out, he paused and shot him one last glance. “I guess we’ll continue this in a week then…Jim.”
And then he disappeared.
Shoulders going slack, Jim smiled to himself, feeling deliriously happy. “Yeah, I guess we’ll continue this in a week then, Bones.”
His Leonard McCoy was alive.
Back to Chapter 1
Onwards to Chapter 3