One-Shot Sandman Humor Fic
Rated: Teens and up for sexual references
Summary: Ever gotten caught by your sister while looking at prono? Well imagine if your sister was Death. *Spoilers for End of Series!*
Dedication: My pal TechieCL who gave me the original idea.
Disclaimer: Gaiman is the word-smith not me.
It was an impossible situation.
Dream was in need of some advice that even wise Matthew could not provide, and his previous self had favored “his sister” over his other five siblings. Why he wasn’t completely sure, the others had all treated him kindly at their first meeting together, but somehow he sensed Death of the Endless was the wisest of the group. Destiny was too brusque, Destruction absent, Desire too manipulative, Despair too narrow-minded, and Delirium said only sensible nonsense. So when Matthew had said “I don’t know boss’’ in his honest way, Dream knew he was in a quandary.
A quandary compounded by the fact the sanctum of his gallery was being used by people other than him. Dreamers floated freely and wistfully about his castle. Bringing only bits of it back to the waking world, never realizing they were pieces to a greater puzzle. His staff knew not to dally in his gallery either by earlier admonishments by his first self or just by their common sense. But no human ever has common sense in a dream.
He watched the male and female groping and groaning in intricate knots of flesh. Dream pitied them, as he knew the two lovers could never meet in real life. He was a diplomat’s driver in South Africa; she was a refugee in a squalid camp on the Kosovo border. Both would probably never remember the dream, she would wake with only a new sense of hope, he would wake with a new sense of excitement and that was how it should be.
Of course he could easily bring them to a pre-mature awakening or move them, on to another aspect of tonight’s dream, but the Shaper of Form paused. The woman was indeed beautiful, long ebony locks washed down her back, her skin was a warm shade of pink as she groaned and grunted in her exertion. When she opened her eyes again he could see they were that perfect shade of twilight blue. She looked upon her strong and vigorous mate with all of the love and trust she had been denied in her hard life. How could this young Dream be so cruel as to take this one fleeting moment of ecstasy away from this young woman whose waking life was lived with his sister’s hook firmly in her heart? Here, she was far from the world of mists and mirrors.
“Hi ya little brother.” a perky voice from behind startled him. He turned to see Death’s radiant face peering at him from her sigil on the wall. Suddenly Dream felt embarrassed at being so engrossed at watching the two dreamers, especially the young woman. He turned quickly, not wanting to disturb them but also, almost subconsciously, wanting to shield them from Death’s sight.
“Sister? I did not call for you.” Dream answered, it was not an accusation but more a statement of surprise.
“I know, but y’know that’s my thing, showing up uninvited and all,” Death now pulled herself into the room through her personal doorway to the Dreaming. “I just wanted to see how you were getting’ along, I know this…change couldn’t have been easy for you.”
She looked around at the room, “Like what you’ve done with the place, kind of Warhol-esque but it still has a welcoming feel to it. “ She looked at Dream and smiled, for nothing can be hidden from Death, “It would seem we are not alone.”
Dream moved hastily away from the dreamers like he had suddenly realized they were a bee’s nest he had stepped in. “Yes, this is the castle of dreams’ after all, many walk here as they dream.”
“Apparently walking was not on the agenda tonight,” Death said slyly with a grin, it was hard to tell what was more amusing to her, the fact there was two people making love less then five feet from her and they were completely oblivious to her, or her brother’s unwarranted embarrassed reaction.
Death decided to push a little harder, the first Dream had been so stuffy and uptight all the time, maybe this second self had more room for frivolity. “Do you like to watch?”
“Do I like to watch what?” he answered with all of the innocence of a five year old child.
‘Humans, when they do that,” Death explained inclining her head slightly towards the clasped couple.
If a human had been watching him, The Lord of Dreams would have blushed scarlet. However one cannot know how the Endless view one another, but it was obvious to both he was embarrassed and perhaps a little ashamed. “Dreams are what I am, it is my function and purpose, what mortals choose to do with them is one to me.”
Well he hasn’t changed that much, Death thought ruefully to herself crossing her arms over her chest. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“I did so,” he mirrored her stance.
“No you avoided it,” she corrected. She saw the stubborn look on his face and sighed as the pair climaxed together, then began their passions afresh. Death decided to try a new approach. “Okay listen Dream, its nothing to be ashamed of, we Endless love too as I’m sure you remember. I mean it’s a bad idea for us to get mixed up with humans, but we feel as they do, so sometimes we can get sucked into their affairs. “
“So then you are saying it is unwise to interfere with the matters of man?”
“Not necessarily, but remember Desire is a thing of cunning and cruelty. But what I meant is, you do not deny your compassionate side, which is good, for I believe it is what got you in trouble in the first place.” Death smiled at her older and younger brother. “However, that doesn’t mean you should perv on them, give them some privacy, you’d expect the same.”
Dream’s mouth dropped almost as low as it had when he heard Lucifer had abdicated from his throne at this scathing advice. At a lost for words he could only say, “Sister,” but the word carried no feeling behind it.
Death only winked and grinned at him, “Brother you know I waste no time for pleasantries. Now unless you have more questions for me…”
Dream had completely forgotten why he had even walked into the gallery in the first place and only shook his head. As Death disappeared from his sight he felt the man’s hold on the Dreaming lifting. The Dream King performed a small mercy for the sleepers who had dreamt only of each other and an empty room. They would remember this dream until the day they died, it would seem so insignificant compared to other dreams, yet something in the background of it would recall it frequently.
“Aaarwwkkk! Hey Boss, how’d meeting your sister go?” the dream raven asked as he drifted lazily onto his lord’s shoulder.
“Not as I had expected, “he said, remembering the question that he had originally sought an answer for. However it could wait, he had another question he needed answered, “Matthew, what does it mean to ‘perv’ on someone?”
Summary: Ever gotten caught by your sister while looking at prono? Well imagine if your sister was Death. *Spoilers for End of Series!*
Dedication: My pal TechieCL who gave me the original idea.
Disclaimer: Gaiman is the word-smith not me.
It was an impossible situation.
Dream was in need of some advice that even wise Matthew could not provide, and his previous self had favored “his sister” over his other five siblings. Why he wasn’t completely sure, the others had all treated him kindly at their first meeting together, but somehow he sensed Death of the Endless was the wisest of the group. Destiny was too brusque, Destruction absent, Desire too manipulative, Despair too narrow-minded, and Delirium said only sensible nonsense. So when Matthew had said “I don’t know boss’’ in his honest way, Dream knew he was in a quandary.
A quandary compounded by the fact the sanctum of his gallery was being used by people other than him. Dreamers floated freely and wistfully about his castle. Bringing only bits of it back to the waking world, never realizing they were pieces to a greater puzzle. His staff knew not to dally in his gallery either by earlier admonishments by his first self or just by their common sense. But no human ever has common sense in a dream.
He watched the male and female groping and groaning in intricate knots of flesh. Dream pitied them, as he knew the two lovers could never meet in real life. He was a diplomat’s driver in South Africa; she was a refugee in a squalid camp on the Kosovo border. Both would probably never remember the dream, she would wake with only a new sense of hope, he would wake with a new sense of excitement and that was how it should be.
Of course he could easily bring them to a pre-mature awakening or move them, on to another aspect of tonight’s dream, but the Shaper of Form paused. The woman was indeed beautiful, long ebony locks washed down her back, her skin was a warm shade of pink as she groaned and grunted in her exertion. When she opened her eyes again he could see they were that perfect shade of twilight blue. She looked upon her strong and vigorous mate with all of the love and trust she had been denied in her hard life. How could this young Dream be so cruel as to take this one fleeting moment of ecstasy away from this young woman whose waking life was lived with his sister’s hook firmly in her heart? Here, she was far from the world of mists and mirrors.
“Hi ya little brother.” a perky voice from behind startled him. He turned to see Death’s radiant face peering at him from her sigil on the wall. Suddenly Dream felt embarrassed at being so engrossed at watching the two dreamers, especially the young woman. He turned quickly, not wanting to disturb them but also, almost subconsciously, wanting to shield them from Death’s sight.
“Sister? I did not call for you.” Dream answered, it was not an accusation but more a statement of surprise.
“I know, but y’know that’s my thing, showing up uninvited and all,” Death now pulled herself into the room through her personal doorway to the Dreaming. “I just wanted to see how you were getting’ along, I know this…change couldn’t have been easy for you.”
She looked around at the room, “Like what you’ve done with the place, kind of Warhol-esque but it still has a welcoming feel to it. “ She looked at Dream and smiled, for nothing can be hidden from Death, “It would seem we are not alone.”
Dream moved hastily away from the dreamers like he had suddenly realized they were a bee’s nest he had stepped in. “Yes, this is the castle of dreams’ after all, many walk here as they dream.”
“Apparently walking was not on the agenda tonight,” Death said slyly with a grin, it was hard to tell what was more amusing to her, the fact there was two people making love less then five feet from her and they were completely oblivious to her, or her brother’s unwarranted embarrassed reaction.
Death decided to push a little harder, the first Dream had been so stuffy and uptight all the time, maybe this second self had more room for frivolity. “Do you like to watch?”
“Do I like to watch what?” he answered with all of the innocence of a five year old child.
‘Humans, when they do that,” Death explained inclining her head slightly towards the clasped couple.
If a human had been watching him, The Lord of Dreams would have blushed scarlet. However one cannot know how the Endless view one another, but it was obvious to both he was embarrassed and perhaps a little ashamed. “Dreams are what I am, it is my function and purpose, what mortals choose to do with them is one to me.”
Well he hasn’t changed that much, Death thought ruefully to herself crossing her arms over her chest. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“I did so,” he mirrored her stance.
“No you avoided it,” she corrected. She saw the stubborn look on his face and sighed as the pair climaxed together, then began their passions afresh. Death decided to try a new approach. “Okay listen Dream, its nothing to be ashamed of, we Endless love too as I’m sure you remember. I mean it’s a bad idea for us to get mixed up with humans, but we feel as they do, so sometimes we can get sucked into their affairs. “
“So then you are saying it is unwise to interfere with the matters of man?”
“Not necessarily, but remember Desire is a thing of cunning and cruelty. But what I meant is, you do not deny your compassionate side, which is good, for I believe it is what got you in trouble in the first place.” Death smiled at her older and younger brother. “However, that doesn’t mean you should perv on them, give them some privacy, you’d expect the same.”
Dream’s mouth dropped almost as low as it had when he heard Lucifer had abdicated from his throne at this scathing advice. At a lost for words he could only say, “Sister,” but the word carried no feeling behind it.
Death only winked and grinned at him, “Brother you know I waste no time for pleasantries. Now unless you have more questions for me…”
Dream had completely forgotten why he had even walked into the gallery in the first place and only shook his head. As Death disappeared from his sight he felt the man’s hold on the Dreaming lifting. The Dream King performed a small mercy for the sleepers who had dreamt only of each other and an empty room. They would remember this dream until the day they died, it would seem so insignificant compared to other dreams, yet something in the background of it would recall it frequently.
“Aaarwwkkk! Hey Boss, how’d meeting your sister go?” the dream raven asked as he drifted lazily onto his lord’s shoulder.
“Not as I had expected, “he said, remembering the question that he had originally sought an answer for. However it could wait, he had another question he needed answered, “Matthew, what does it mean to ‘perv’ on someone?”