Too much praise

[nedrazeall]

When I was kid my mother wasn't too good on praise. Even though I was an only child I always felt like I wasn't the favorite. She made me feel like the ugly little black girl.

Now I'm a mom and I find myself saying all the time, I love you Cookie. or You're my favorite Cookie in the whole wide world. And other stuff like that

Comments

[szibarita]

Even if it does, I think that's preferable to having zero self-esteem and lots of self-hatred like the rest of us have contended with.

[nedrazeall]

That's the way I feel. I want her to feel good about herself.

[bightchee]

The opposite, of course, are those 500lbs women on Jerry Springer declaring themselves the object of all men's desire no matter what their trampy underweight best friend says about her to their mutual babys' daddy.

[amethystmusings]

Agreed. I had it the opposite way (not just not enough praise, but too much criticism as well). Kids internalize what you tell them, either way. If I ever have any kids, the last thing I'd want is for them to go through what I went through.

There are ways to give constructive feedback without hurting kids' feelings, but most parents aren't careful enough about that.

[xxalyoop42xx]

You're awesome. You'll help her find the balance between self-esteem and conceit.

[nedrazeall]

She's a great kid and it's really easy to praise her. I think she is sick of my kisses though. She gets a kiss attack at least twice a day.

[lackofendorphin]

She's an awesome little cookie, of course it is okay to tell her that as long as she small.

[nedrazeall]

She really is great. I think it is important to as she gets older, teen self esteem is so fragile.

[lackofendorphin]

Just don't do it in front of her friends...

[bightchee]

x2

[swayworn]

As long as you're not saying she's, like, better than X, Y, and Z, it's hard to go overboard with that stuff.

[nedrazeall]

God I say she was better than you once and you never let me live it down. Please don't cry again.

[sooguy]

I think as long as you find some balance and she values other people, I don't think she will be to conceited. Trust me I overdo it with my kid too.

I never felt like I was good enough for anything growing up and this was despite having loving parents. It wasn't until I talked to my mother as an adult and discovered the hidden truth that I had apparently blocked from my memory. My mother was quite good at cutting me up and undermining my self-confidence apparently. She mentioned one case when I told her I was going to try out for the football team in highschool (I never recall ever wanting to, but anyway) and she said her response was "Why are you going to be the football?" I rest my case.

[nedrazeall]

Yeah my mom was like that. She chopped me to bits.