My brother, you love her (but don't give up your instincts)

[near_your_enemy]

N is sitting on the bed, paging through a large encyclopedia.  He's been staying unnaturally close to this room since he's gotten back--whether or not it's because he still has nightmares of Light blowing his brains out, or if he's just thankful enough to stay close, it's not quite defined.  Still.  His demeanor could almost even be classified as '

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[near_your_enemy]

Fuck.

It takes a few moments for what Mihael said to fully go through and register in his mind. And when it does--when it does, he feels like his heart stops. Or like his heart speeds up and bursts. He isn't sure which (which makes no sense, he realizes, distractedly, because they're both polar opposites, but). He goes tense again and it feels like his skin is crawling, but oh, he realizes, that's just a few goosebumps. Nothing to be worried about.

But there is because Mihael... because--he, well.

"...what? I don't. Explain. Now, please." Even though his tone is a whisper, a sign of weakness, a whimper in his throat, he can still make that sound like a strained, needy order, because this isn't and this wasn't and oh god, please.

[near_your_enemy]

Okay. Okay, okay.

N finally moves out of that damning grip, that grip that's probably held Near, and almost tumbles off the bed in his frantic need to just get away from Mihael, his fingers already trembling.

"But--you promised." It sounds weak, like he's whining, like he can barely get the words out through his own throat trying to strangle him. "You lied--but you promised." He's still having difficulty grasping this right now, eyes wide as it just barely begins to sink in.

[near_your_enemy]

"But--but you promised."

He's stuck on that. Stuck on the broken promise. He's standing, why is he standing? He can't remember getting off of the bed, but he's facing away from Mihael, a flurry of unblocked emotions running across his face.

[near_your_enemy]

His skin crawls at the touch, and he rips himself away, stumbling and gripping at the wall, as if it was the only thing holding him up at the moment.

"...tell me what happened. You touched him? You kissed him? Tell me." His voice still has a pleading tone to it, and he's talking to walls, but he doesn't care.

[near_your_enemy]

"It is!" He finds himself snapping, barely refraining from hitting the wall.

"What? You slept with him? Or you just enjoy keeping me in the dark?" He's not quite angry, yet. His voice is still wavering on that borderline of devestation and disbelief.

[near_your_enemy]

"Then, tell me or I'll assume the worst."

[near_your_enemy]

"You can't love me and him." He protests, weakly. He doesn't seem to notice Mihael moving closer.

"It's like me saying, 'oh, I love the moon and the sun'. One or the other, and I loathe being second." N says that last bit pointedly, because he already knows, doesn't he?