ST 11 fic
Click it, you know you want to.
Star Trek 11 fic
Title: I Didn't Sign on for This!
Pairing: McCoy/Spock, various
Rating: I'm gonna go w/ M for sex talk
--Old fic I realised I hadn't posted. I figured I'd put this up before I start all those Petlar fics.--
5.When I got this job I knew I was in for a whole host of weird injuries. Weird I can deal with. Weird is new and exciting and I can be apart of the research effort to cure thousands of others.
When I took this job I thought I'd be discovering new ways to save lives...not trying to figure out how to remove a Fratorian living vine from the pilot's ass. I'm a doctor, not a botanist.
4.Three weeks into our newest mission, fresh from Earth based repairs, and already I have a reason to drink at 2pm. Scotty, that damn drunken fool, stuck his dick somewhere it didn't belong and he waited until the next morning to get treatment.
I tried to ignore the mechanical grade oil around the aggravated area, but damn it, there are just some things you can't un-see.
3. I don't want to think about it anymore! I don't want to think about it anymore! I don't want to think about it anymore! I did my job. I fixed him up when he came in. I didn't ask any more questions than necessary. I was ready to just let him go, far be it from me to ask about strange Vulcan sex practices.
But, damn it, he just couldn't let it go. Right when he was about to leave he says 'Vulcan's have a longer lifespan than that of humans Doctor, as you know. And my mate died some time ago, this was something we enjoyed doing together.' For the love of all that is holy, God strike me down so I don't have to wonder what that old man did in his youth with a medical cathader. And how the hell does one of those get stuck anyways?
2.In the weeks following Uhura's breakup, it was no mystery to me why the relationship ended. Apparently that green blooded hobgoblin wasn't givin' her what she wanted in bed. I tried to pawn her off on Nurse Chapel, really, the last thing I need is some lovesick young girl on the rebound looking for southern comfort and revenge. I was married to evil once and I would like to avoid anything like it in the near future, for the sake of my health. But she just wouldn't be turned away.
Spent the next half hour trying to fish a communications ear piece out of her nether regions...
1.When Jim and I got to know eachother back at the academy, I knew this would happen someday. Well...not this. I don't know how in all of God's green creation something like this could have happened to someone who's suppose to be a genius. But with Jim the little brain usually has more say than the big one when pretty ladies are involved.
Jim came pounding on my door at one in the morning, on shore leave damn it! I almost made him wait it out...but I'm a doctor, I took an oath. So I shook myself awake and pulled Jim inside. I'm not sure how in the hell I can make 'animal in rectum' sound dignified on a medical report, but I'll try.
0."I'm a doctor, damn it, I don't need a doctor!"
"I must insist Leonard. It would be exceedingly difficult to treat yourself and you can not let the injury go unattended." I know that! Of course I know that, I'm a doctor damn it! Stupid Vulcans and their damned logic. Stupid Spock and his damned ideas. And why in the hell did I agree?!
'Your steady hands arouse me Leonard.' 'Your use of medical equipment is handled with the utmost of grace Leonard.' 'It would please me to use such equipment on you Le-O-nardd.' He's a guy damn it, he shouldn't be able to say my name like that...all 'sexy' or somethin'.
Well now I know how old Spock got that cathedar stuck. Guess time didn't fix his techniqe.
"You've helped enough Spock!" He huffed at me! Did he really just huff at me? That damn pointy eared bastard!
"It is illogical to refuse assistance Leonard. I have conversed with my alternate self and discovered that removing the sound will be relativly similar to removing a medical cathader. Allow me to help."
"You WHAT?!"