RP LOG with histhornedrose | Post-coital questioning

[naysowee]

Rory was lying on his back with his hand resting on his bare chest as he stared up at the roof of the ornate canopy bed. His head was resting on his other arm draped behind his head and he tried his best not to feel like he was completely out of place. Sure, Scotland had a lot of history... awesome history, but other than the odd visit to castles over his years when he was wee, he had never really been inside a place quite as elegant as this place. He felt like he had woken up in the middle of some Hollywood historical movie and belonged in it about as much as a pimple belonged on an arse. The thick covers were wrapped around his waist and he scrunched his lips up a little, trying to figure out how he actually felt about the whole situation.

There had been sex. Sex seemed inevitable when Juliette dragged him back to her lair... or quarters, rather. He was still a bloke, he wasn't going to just turn down a good shag when it was on offer. But as for anything else, he just didn't know anymore. He didn't really want to be here. That much he knew. The road trip just ended up leaving him feeling weird and out of place. Buffy seemed to have gotten what she wanted, even if Rory had no clue what had gone on when they left Blaise's room. He wasn't sure it was even his business what happened anyway. It was all just surreal. Despite Airlie, Rory never wanted to make it a habit of hanging out with Kindred as part of his life. He was too much of a simple guy and this was all too overwhelming. Probably even too much. He already missed his home and his dog. He missed his art and simple job at the local hospital. None of this was him.

The only thing was, he wasn't even sure anymore what was him. It was a whole lot of going through the motions and keeping busy so he didn't feel lonely. He had lost everything and he lately, a lot had given him plenty of cause to stop and look at his life. Maybe, deep down, he really did just have nothing left.


Juliette was lying on her side as she watched Rory, not sure the young man even realised he had an audience. She wasn't in a rush to get dressed again, assuming that she would be summoned when Blaise and Buffy were done doing whatever it was they were doing. She had just been happy to get Rory back into bed. She'd kept her original promise of not using Persuasion, and she had to admit there was something to it. No doubts that he was really into it, and no need to boost the performance. Even if she did still wonder if his heart would ever be in it.

She moved forward a little and reached out to trace her fingertips over his shoulder lightly before pressing her lips against a scar there. "What are you thinking, mon amour? You seem very far away..."

"Aye, maybe I am," Rory admitted as he turned his head to meet her eyes. The eyes were always so intense, it had to be a Kindred thing. Rory always just assumed it was Airlie, because her eyes were an unusual green colour. But it was the same with Juliette and Blaise. Blaise more intently. His eyes were blue and they had a tendency to look like they were cutting right through you and piercing your soul when he looked at you. It was the power thing. Rory knew enough of the supernatural to know that. Plus, according to his research, Ventrue were one of the most powerful Kindred Clans. Their presence alone was often hypnotic. No wonder Buffy was so hooked. "It's hard to tell anymore if I'm content or so unbelievably lost that it's just easy to fool myself into shit. Dinnae go all worrying, though. I've been thinking a lot lately. Buffy dragging me here just gave me a lot of time in a car to put that into overdrive. Hendrix will only drown oot so much."

She arched an eyebrow as she pushed herself up onto her elbows while rolling onto her stomach. Her dark hair fell around her shoulders and Juliette looked down at him. "Have you not spoken about what's on your mind with Buffy? With... Airlie?" Juliette hadn't forgotten what he had revealed his best friend, and she'd been a little surprised that he had not chosen to take her up on the offer to include the new Kindred in a trip to France. Juliette would have been lying if she didn't admit to being curious about what the woman was like. "Perhaps it would help if you did just talk about what's on your mind."

Rory bit the inside of his lip and shook his head. "Nay, I dinnae really talk to anyone aboot much of it. Buffy's been hell-bent and focused on your other half. She wasnae really listening when I spoke aboot it and that just pissed me off. Doesnae exactly give me cause to want to talk to anyone aboot it anyway. Isnae like anyone can change any of it. I know you're all pushing the big Three-Three-Oh, but you cannae totally forget how you felt when you were first Embraced. You dinnae think Airlie has her own fish to fry? Some days, she cannae even control her reactions or her hunger. She's doing her best, but that's all she can do. Plus, she's gone and fallen for Buffy's BFF, which just opens a whole other can of worms because one, Buffy doesnae know Airlie is Kindred, two, Airlie doesnae want her to know, and three, Airlie is terrified of Slayers. But she had to go and accidentally drain the laddie in a fit of passion, and then got a guilt complex and spilled everything to him."

Juliette gave a nod of understanding. "Oui, of course I do. But I was also on the verge of dying of the Black Death at the time. It can be confusing, disorienting... I must admit I do not envy her, but I asked for it. I didn't want to die. Someone begged for my life, and this was the answer. Blaise knew he couldn't be the one to Embrace me. I am in no way Ventrue. My Sire did him a favour. I am with my true clan. Airlie was Embraced by Toreador and she'll find that once she can get control, she may well thrive. She just needs the right guidance." Juliette clicked her tongue as she couldn't help but smirk in amusement. "Ah, see? You mortals will always hold interest for us Kindred. Here are three of us all out of sorts because of falling for mortals, hm?"

"Aye, well, Airlie was taken against her will by someone she was deeply in love with. She had to try and nurse a broken heart as well as a broken soul... and it only happened a year ago. She's nay having an easy time of it at all. She takes each day, but the truth is, she is constantly running scared and I dinnae know how to help her. She hates when I fear her, but sometimes I cannae help it, like. She is capable of hurting me when she loses control and it scares me. I'm still human, after all." Rory pressed his lips together and glanced at her again before looking back up at the roof of the bed. "Aye, but you cannae tell me for a second it is a sound thing. Nay for you, and nay for us. We're going to end up dying and leaving you lot behind eventually, and for us, we've gotta accept things like the fact you cannae bear us kids, or even properly get off without fanging on someone. Cannae come for a walk in the sunlight with us, cannae go on holiday in the tropics, cannae even eat a full meal."

"Non, we can't. But then you have to ask yourself what it is that makes you fall in love with someone. Do you really love someone any less just because they cannot eat a full meal? The children... I will never be able to change that. It is true that I will never be able to give you them. And perhaps we'd outlive you, but sometimes it's worth it. Heartbreak is never easy, and I would not wish it on anyone. I am not even sure I agree with the cliche about loving and never loving at all. It has been a very long time since I risked my heart." Juliette slipped her arm over Rory's waist before she leaned against him with her head on his chest. The urge to 'fang' him really was strong, but since feeding on Buffy she was hardly going to be a victim to her own hunger. She could resist it. Him. Regardless of how badly she wanted to taste Rory. "The offer to have her here in Paris for a little while does not have an expiry date, just so you know. You can call on me for anything."

Rory was quiet. He thought for a moment about Airlie, and how she would cope out of her home city. Kindred seemed to get attached to their homes. He knew Princes were connected to their cities and didn't handle being away from them for too long, but Rory didn't know if that extended to all Kindred or if they were just happiest in their own realm. He knew the feeling, he really did. "Aye, really? Even if I tell you I'm nay sure I'm ready to give up on the notion of being a daddy again one day?" he asked her quietly, verbalising the thing that had probably been upsetting him the most lately. "Only time in my life ever felt truly alive was when I had my wee girl. I miss her every day."

Juliette stayed quiet for a moment before she gave a nod. "There are ways around it. I would not stop you from having another child if it was what you wanted. I just wouldn't be able to carry it, and I would definitely outlive them. I'm not asking for marriage, for a commitment. We're still getting to know each other. We might not be able to survive being together. I will never be able to express just how sorry I am that you lost her. A parent should never outlive their child. I think it is one of the greatest tragedies in life. Especially one so young."

A small smile played on Rory's lips, but it was sad. "She was so beautiful. She had this big smile and she didnae even cry much. She was just starting to get to that age where she was aware of everything around her. But I didnae ever get to see her walk or talk. None of that. I know you think there is some higher-reaching ideal where love can conquer all... or something, but it cannae be denied that I'm just a simple lad, love. I know I was thrown into a dark world, but truth is, I dinnae know much more than the simple life. All I ever dreamed of was finding a lassie I fell head over with, someone I had an awesome sex life with, and who I laughed with. To have a wee wedding and a nice wee home with a couple of bairns, a dog. I know there has been a whole lot of how you would survive in the mortal world, your kind concealing yourselves to pull it off, but... I dinnae know if I'm built to exist in a world like yours. It's all so... intense. Opulent. Rich. Elegant. Erotic. I'm none of that."

"Still doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, or just enjoy someone connected to a world like that. I'm not asking you to give up anything. I'm really not. The fact that you are a 'simple lad' is part of what attracts me. My first love was a gardener. Someone I could never be with. I was born into a wealthy family, but that did not mean I wanted to be married off to a gentleman. I've always wanted the beautiful things. Beauty isn't always in what's opulent, rich, elegant or even erotic. Blaise was my first taste of that world just as much as I am yours." She ran her tongue over her lips before she pulled away from Rory to give him his personal space back. Juliette tucked her arm around her middle as she lay there watching him again. "Your daughter will always live within you. The mind is a powerful thing if you don't let the memories fade. It also doesn't mean you can't have other things in your life. But if it's simple you want, I guess I really can't offer you that. I will never be able to be a mother. I might not even be a wife... All I am is me."

Rory scrunched up his face with a soft growl of frustration. "Nay, you arenae getting it. I'm not sure I do enjoy it. It's nay me, it's you, and you've lived it for hundreds of years. You are built to be in a world like this, and dinnae go denying that. I know all aboot the Toreador Clan. It was the only one I really knew anything aboot until recently. I dinnae even know why you and your other half seemed to have taken a keen liking to me in the first place. I get the love thing with Blaise. I do. Dinnae so much like him looking at me like I'm a pizza with the lot, but aye, I was in love. She was my first love, and she was my world for quite a few years. But all this... I dinnae know. Maybe I could deal with it if I really had to. I've learned to adjust in places I dinnae expect to be. But I... I want a family. I dinnae know if that is ever going to change. I just miss her so much and I want another chance to get it right," he admitted, his voice breaking at the end when the emotion got too much and he had to squeeze his fingers into the corners of his eyes.

Juliette reached out to take his hand and threaded her fingers through his as she gave it a gentle squeeze. She wasn't sure how she was going to ever convince Rory that she could be something good for him. He seemed to have already worked out what it was he wanted, and who was she to interfere with that? Now she felt horrible for even trying to drag him into her world. "Then you shouldn't be here," she finally said quietly. "I'll let you be. I don't want you to feel as if you're forced to be here. We can just be... friends. Blaise hasn't taken a liking to you, by the way. In fact I'm fairly sure he wonders just as much as you do what it is that I see in you. I see so much in you, Rory. There's so much potential if you ever had an urge to tap into it. Still, you want the simple life. You want family. I can only offer you a different sort of family. One which you don't want a part of."

Rory looked at her uncertainly. "You're offering me a family? How are you offering me a family?" He really wasn't following on that track. All he had seemed to see that she was offering was this world, that was even rather intimidating for him. He didn't want her feeding on him, and he wondered how long that novelty would last for her. It would have to wear off sooner or later. Sexual encounters with Kindred usually went hand in hand with feeding. It was why Airlie lost control with Xander. "In my own defence, he looked like he wanted to eat me again back there, so that line isnae going to work on me. I know that look. You arenae the first Kindred people I have encountered. I am honestly not sure at all what you expect I would be able to give you either."

Juliette did smile before laughing softly. "He doesn't have to like you to feed on you. He just has to be drawn to your blood. You'd have this family. My family. Kindred is like family. Not that I'm offering to Embrace you. That's something I know you would never consider, but it would still be possible for a mortal to be part of this family for a little. Airlie is your family too even if you don't realise it straight away. Friends can sometimes be the best family." She pulled her mouth to the side. "And Blaise wonders why his Slayer asks him such questions... All I ask is that you take me as I am. If you are capable of it, mon amour. We want what you want. We want love, trust, passion... Just to be ourselves. To be understood."

Rory's eyes took a sad edge again as he looked at her. He was quiet at first as he swallowed heavily to try and dislodge the lump in his throat. "Then how am I supposed to begin to shake the feeling that I was put on this earth to be a father? I want to hold a bairn in my arms again, to watch them grow up, and fall in love themselves. I dinnae want to quit my life to become part of yours. That doesnae mean I'm telling you to go fuck yourself and get lost. I'm nay. Maybe there is some way to balance it, but I cannae take away my urge for a family. Nay friends as a family. I have that."

Juliette struggled to keep her expression from darkening as the frustration surged up in her. "I still didn't ask you to quit your world. I just said you would have a family here if you ever did want it. I'm not telling you you have to accept it." She moved to sit up as she pushed her fingers through her dark locks and looked back down at him as she reached out to stroke her fingers through his short blond hair. The frustration ebbed and her expression reflected his sadness. "I don't want you to give that up, you deserve to get what you dream of."

"Hey, I didnae say you did! You wanted me to talk to you and I'm trying to talk to you, alright? Give me a bit of a break, please. I'm here, aye? I came. I cannae admit to my heart being a hundred percent in it, but that's the fear of the unknown and I always get homesick for Scotland when I'm nay there. I just..." Rory paused and looked at her with a helpless frown. "How would you feel if I agreed to... be in your world on some level, but still wanted someone else to give me a bairn?"

Confusion played out across Juliette's features as she contemplated his question. In a way she was grateful that Blaise had already broached this topic with her so she didn't feel quite so unprepared. She still wasn't sure how she felt about it. "I would... respect your wishes. The need to be a father is part of what makes you who you are, mon amour. I would not want to interfere. You just need to realise that is has been a long, long time since I have had anything to do with a bebe."

Rory closed his eyes and shifted just a little in frustration. He didn't have any answers and he hated it. This right here was like he preferred things simple. He preferred when his heart didn't hurt, and from the trip over with Buffy, he realised when his heart hurt these days, he got angry. Things he was sure he had dealt with and coped with were being dragged up all over the place, making him realise things he hadn't been sure of before. It was confusing. "I'm still a father. That just didnae stop when she was gone. I think that's most of my problem," he admitted quietly.

"You will always miss her, miss them. There is no shame in that," Juliette murmured as she continued to stroke her fingers through his hair soothingly. Comfort was something that was not alien to her, but it was new for her to be displaying it with someone like Rory. "Do not take this as an insult, but did you ever... did you build them gravestones? Something to honour them and for you to say goodbye?"

Rory nodded slowly. "Aye... there is a wee cementary oot near by home, near the Loch. Nay far from where we got married. There is a wee memorial garden for them there. She came from a big family, see. I didnae want to do it. I didnae want to admit they were really gone, but her family needed it. I just get this really strange feeling whenever I go there... like I'm being watched. I dinnae know why. It's something I cannae ever shake. He smirked a little. "I wonder how hard Buffy would belt me if I asked her to have a bairn for me," he pondered in amusement, sniggering.

Juliette arched her eyebrow at the sudden change of conversation but she rolled with it for a moment. "I wonder how hard you would fall on your bottom if she said yes. I take it that loving the mother of your enfant would not be a requirement? Would you want to do it... naturally? It might take more than one go." She bit back a sudden urge to feed on Rory and tried to keep her mind on other things. "Perhaps you should use your art to work through your feelings."

Rory just kept smirking and shook his head. "Ach, the world doesnae need a bairn with my genes mixed with Buffy's. It would probably be disastrous. I would love anyone who gave me a bairn... but nay, it wouldnae be a requirement for me to be in love with them. The world these days isnae like it used to be. I might be traditional, but doesnae mean I have to stick to convention. I've got a lot of pals. Someone would probably want to help me oot if I really wanted it, I guess. Besides, not sure your other half would have the capacity to be rational if I knocked his claim up. It would probably be hard for him to know my, er, essence is inside her. Naturally wouldnae necessarily have to be a requirement, no. Aye, I could do that, I guess. But it's only been recently I started painting again. I lost it for a long time when I lost my family. Couldnae pick up a paintbrush for the life of me."

Juliette shrugged. "That all depends on what he decides to his claim to mean. It doesn't always mean he's in love with them, that he wants them to mean that to him... Even if I still say he deteriorated from not having her close. He is just stubborn and wanted to argue with me about it. He is determined that she will not mean anything romantic to him after she insulted him. It's why I am intrigued to know how the visit will turn out." She played with the hem of the sheet draped over her hips and sighed. "To not have a baby naturally seems so very... cold to me. Even if I understand why the modern ways exist. Even if I might feel my own burst of jealously knowing another woman can give you what I can't." Juliette looked at him and held his gaze as she let the admission sink in. "The fact that you have picked up a paintbrush again is a good sign."

"Aye, well, it's been a long time since I lost them," Rory replied quietly. "Cold? You think it's cold? What aboot all those couples oot there who cannae have a baby naturally on their own, but still desperately want to be parents? Is it cold they want another lassie to carry a bairn for them? Or to use another man's sperm? Or what aboot women who fall pregnant withoot even loving the laddie who knocked them up? Doesnae love the bairn and puts it up for adoption? That's cold. Wanting a child and using other means to get one when you dinnae have the conventional ways isnae cold. It hurts. Back in your time, if someone couldnae produce a bairn, they were barren and flawed. That's cold, in my humble opinion. And to be fair, I cannae blame your laddie for feeling like that. She has been trained to kill supernatural beings. She has been claimed by other vampires... or one. Whatever, my point still stands. Sounds like he did just want to help her oot some how."

"Of course those things are cold, and I did say I understood why those methods exist. I would never call it cold when you do not have other means to have a bebe." Juliette slid back down in the bed as she stayed on her back and looked up at the canopy of the bed. "It just seems like if you have a chance to make a child naturally then you should do it... That's why it'll be interesting to see if he will let her any closer. He will not tolerate her if he doesn't want her around."

With another smirk, Rory scratched his stomach lethargically. "Oh, to live with royalty. You're fucked if he doesnae want to bother himself with you. But hell, aye. He could have potentially been the King of France one day if he had lived, so why nay? Someone has to rule, right? Wouldnae really have picked it in him to look at him first, though. He looks expensive and powerful, but royalty is a whole other level. Makes me wonder if he was one of those that had royal arse-wipers," he mused, unable to help his train of thought. "Nay that an issue like that is anything you guys have to think aboot anymore. So, you think being away from her made him sick? Ironic, considering he cannae even feed off her. Like a diabetic buying a sweetie shop."

Juliette smiled wryly. "Oui, that is exactly what it is like. He will never be able to feed from her until she knows true love. It is anyone's guess whether or not the true love will be between them, or whether it'll between you and her if she carried your enfant," she added teasingly as she looked over at him. "Blaise never had those sorts of servants that I am aware of. I do not think I could have ever coped with that even if it was something we still had a need for. He is a wonderful Kindred Prince. It is very much in his blood."

"This place has shitters, right? Nay just the old chamber pot thingos?" Rory asked, his eyebrows shooting up when the thought dawned on him. "Do you even have those, I mean... is everyone aroond here Kindred? How does it all work? Do you just live here, and the staff are mortals? Aye, I'm hearing you there. Cannae say it would ever appeal to me to have someone else wipe my butt. Some things are just sacred. There's taking a pee in front of someone, and then there is that. Is he even capable of loving anyone? I mean, he's all with the love blood and all that, but he's been aroond a hell of a long time, and has everything he needs and wants at his fingertips."

"Oui, of course we have toilets. We have everything here. We don't use everything, but it's here. The guards are all Kindred. In fact most servants are Kindred. Mortals don't often make it this far into the palace without an invitation. Blaise prefers to feed off mortals, but he can survive off other Kindred if he needs to. Like me." Juliette rolled over and kissed his chest as she hugged Rory again. "Of course he can love. He is more than capable of it. He's had his heart broken just like anyone else. It's why it's easier for a Kindred to take a mate."

"You lot have it a lot easier than we do. We cannae just claim someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Sometimes, we never find anyone to fall in love with." Rory groaned softly and rubbed his eyes, the long trip catching up with him. A shower and a long sleep felt like it would be a good idea. "I want you to be honest with me about something. How much effort is it taking for you nay to know what I taste like?"

Juliette let out a soft growl as she looked up at him. "More than I ever thought I was capable of. How scared are you of me knowing that I might decide I don't want to keep the effort up?"

Rory turned to her and held her gaze. "How scared are you that I know Kindred cannae be killed by stakes, but rather phosphorus bullets and fire?" he threw back.

"How scared are you that Blaise would rip you limb from limb if you ever hurt me?" Juliette didn't ask it with any hint of malice in her tone, she was genuinely curious if he realised just how much he understood. Rory wasn't stupid, and she would never assume he was. She just wanted to know if he knew what he was in for. Even if he just wanted to straddle a line between their worlds there were consequences on both sides. "How scared are you to fall in love with me?"

"Then he would better be prepared to die trying," Rory replied just as calmly. He had absolutely no intentions of standing there and letting these people, Kindred or not, believe he would just stand there without a fight. He wouldn't in a million years. He didn't care how powerful the bastard was. If he got fucked over, he would fight back. Plain and simple. He was still a Hunter at heart. "I nearly killed Airlie's Sire with my bare hands. The only thing that stopped me was her begging me nay to. I am not capable of falling in love with you right now," he admitted honestly, even if he didn't elaborate on his point. Not yet. If she wanted to play the power card, he wasn't showing her his hand at all.

Juliette didn't back down, but she did fall quiet. She wasn't willing to concede anything. He hadn't said he wouldn't fall in love with her, he'd just said that he couldn't right now. It was as much as Juliette was going to get as far as knowing if he was interested in her at all. He wasn't telling her to fuck off, but he wasn't welcoming her with open arms and she could hardly blame him. It did make her feel better knowing that he would fight for what he believed in as well. She slipped from the bed and held out her hands for him. "Have a bath with me."

Rory sat up and the covers pooled around his waist. He looked at her for a long, lingering few moments feeling tired and drained from everything that had been going down. He had this feeling that Buffy and Prince Fang Face upstairs were getting it on, and he wondered how that would work if he couldn't feed off her. He always seemed to hit a point lately where he was running out of steam despite still getting passionate about his beliefs. He nodded and pushed the covers away with a small sigh. "Aye, okay."

Word Count | 5,403