Don't Ask Me What This Even Is...

Sep 16, 2014 21:54

Pros snippet, inspired by ushobwri (You Should Be Writing) asking its members for comic/funny snippets and stories ( Read more... )

fandom: the professionals, comm: ushobwri, writing: professionals fanfiction

Leave a comment

Comments 18

byslantedlight September 16 2014, 21:05:11 UTC
Oh, very cute! *g* I can totally see Doyle so chuffed to tell Bodie a tall story he's never heard before - I do get the impression it's usually the other way around!

And I would say it was a ficlet... *g* (It tells a complete story, after all, so it's definitely a fic!)

Thank you - just the thing to go to bed on!

Reply

natsuko1978 September 16 2014, 22:08:57 UTC
Thank *you*. :D The naff pun of the punch-line seemed far more Doyle's sense of humour ("All the nudes that's fit to print", "9-W" etc) than Bodie's, which is why I gave him the joke. (Bodie doesn't seem so... naff, IMO. You know?)

I'm not happy with the "end", though. It needs editing and character work to even be a ficlet IMO, though I'm glad you enjoyed it! And as it's two-thirds Old Joke, I feel uncomfortable saying, "Here's a thing what I wrote," you know? (I also have a vision of them both, later on, in the Capri, ear-wormed with "It's A Long Way to Tipperary" and driving each other insane. :D)

Reply

byslantedlight September 17 2014, 07:44:48 UTC
It needs editing and character work to even be a ficlet IMO
But that's conflating two things - the quality of the work (how happy you are with it) and the format of the work. It could be awful writing (which it isn't) and it'd still be a "ficlet". For example: I'd say it wasn't a "fic" because it's short, it's not a "snippet" because it's complete, and it's not a drabble because it's not 100 words exactly. None of that has anything to do with whether the characterisation is any good! *g*

It's certainly a thing that you wrote, because although the joke might be old as the hills (and how many jokes aren't?!) we borrow jokes (and plots and the lads' characterisation and setting) all the time for stories. I'm certainly not saying I didn't write 'Just Enough Rope' because I had Bodie telling a well-known joke in it (and used someone else's characters and universe etc). Even Shakespeare did that, if you want to go with the cliched argument! *g* As long as the way we have the characters tell those jokes is our original writing, and not ( ... )

Reply

natsuko1978 September 20 2014, 19:31:55 UTC
None of that has anything to do with whether the characterisation is any good! *g* - My worry was less the quality - though that too! - and more the quantity: whether there is *enough* Bodie and Doyle and interaction around the joke.

Okay, there's bits of it I'd beta - Such as...?

(bear in mind we're not quite as big a fandom as Sherlock, of course... *g*) - Thank God - Sherlock fandom is terrifying. 100 fics-a-week on AO3 at one point. *Too* big!

I still don't feel comfortable posting this - or anything unbetaed - to a comm, but thank you so much for your support! Look - I've unlocked it! :)

Reply


sc_fossil September 17 2014, 00:22:38 UTC
*snirk* I enjoyed that and the punch line. It was funny. I could see Bodie's face when Doyle says the punch line. Nothing wrong with this snippet at all, from my POV. :)

Reply

natsuko1978 September 19 2014, 20:53:29 UTC
Thank you! :D

Reply


moonlightmead September 17 2014, 10:02:59 UTC
Haha, nice one!

Why is it not a fic? How might it not work? It is the lads, and it is in character, and it is complete in itself and has a start and a middle and an end, and it is funny. Also, it may be an old joke, but I have never heard it before :)

There is no reason to keep this locked, honestly.

Reply

natsuko1978 September 19 2014, 21:20:28 UTC
You've never heard the story of the rare-y bird?! /incredulous.

Why is it not a fic? How might it not work? Since you asked, things I was worried about:
- there being no point to this except the joke: no reveal, no character development, no story etc;
- whether Bodie is *there* or just a foil to the joke (also, would he ever buy it??);
- whether B and D are in character or just two faceless talking heads;
- whether I captured Ray's voice, or the voice of the person who told me this joke some 30 years ago (my Dad);
- the end still bugs me...

Glad you found it funny, though. :)

Reply

moonlightmead September 20 2014, 08:13:39 UTC
Never heard it, no!

And nothing wrong with stories that are jokes. I think it's entirely in character for them to be good at telling shaggy dog stories and dreadful jokes. Especially on long drives and stakeouts and when they're bored in the rest room.

Reply

natsuko1978 September 20 2014, 19:26:05 UTC
Thank you.

I was - am - so nervous about this - thanks for being so tolerant and reassuring. And look - unlocked.

Reply


sunray45 September 22 2014, 12:01:44 UTC
I'm so glad you unlocked this as I have had a rotten day and this has perked me up considerably.

You have the Lad's banter down perfectly. I can just hear them talking like this, and that joke! I've not heard it before either, so thank you.

Reply

natsuko1978 September 23 2014, 04:06:37 UTC
Thank *you*, so glad you liked it and thrilled that it could perk you up. :) Hope you had a better day today.

I'm wondering when and where my dad got the joke from as so few people know it...

Reply


murphybabe September 23 2014, 20:57:36 UTC
Haha - that was really funny! Like others, I hadn't heard it before either. I liked the whole thing. I liked your characterisation, I liked the pace of the whole thing and I liked the shape of it all. Great! Thanks for making it available via the newsletter. Might you put it somewhere like the Safehouse?

Reply

natsuko1978 September 24 2014, 02:46:24 UTC
I feel like scuffing a shoe, rubbing the back of my neck and saying, "Aw, shucks!"

Thank you so much for such kind praise - I'm so glad this little ficlet worked for you!

As I said above, I'm not comfortable posting this anywhere else at the moment. It took me several days to take the f'lock off! Like my other Pros posts, I'm not ready to go to comm or archives, yet.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up