sad

[nathreee]

I have this distant memory of never allowing myself to look forward to anything, lest I be horribly disappointed. It's been a very long time ago since I was that hard on myself, but it did save me some other heartaches, I suppose. The memory resurfaced yesterday, with a vengeance. And I'm beginning to question the wisdom of looking forward to

Comments

[msstacy13]

I've said before, although probably not in a comment here, that all my life has been like a wicked stepmother taking me downtown on Christmas Eve, and letting me press my face against the store window. And when she sees what I'm staring at, she asks if that's what I really want, and when I finally say that it is what I really want, she yanks me away and tells me not to be so stupid.

When I convinced myself that it was all illusion, no stepmother, no window, just me, it still didn't work.

And what's more, I not only didn't get what I wanted, but my cat died, too.

So I try to pretend that what I wanted might not have been a good idea, and try not to complain about the little consolations, since they're all good in their own way.