Comments | narrow_my_bed: An old piece of writing

narrow_my_bed

An old piece of writing

Mar 18, 2009 16:52

Fandom: Tsubasa
Characters: Mokona-centric, mentions of everyone in the travelling group.
Rating: G
Genre: Fluff, gen, introspective, slight angst.
Warnings: None.
Summary: Fay is touchy-feely and with little respect for personal space, but he's not very good at cuddling.

( Fay isn't as good as the others when it comes to cuddling. )

mokona, my brother thinks i'm a pervert, writing, fay, clamp, i say he's the perverted one, fanfiction, begone writer's block, do not think impure thoughts, tsubasa

Comments 16

tuulensisko March 19 2009, 19:30:57 UTC

Bawwwwwww. *late*

I fail at commenting. But characterisation is spot on. o/ And your brother is totally right.

narrow_my_bed March 19 2009, 20:20:08 UTC

You know I have nothing against late comments. o/

Thank you, I'm glad to hear that! Lies.

000_hester_000 March 21 2009, 18:23:18 UTC

I'm... not quite sure what to think of this, honestly. That's not a slur on your writing in any way, but I really don't know what to think about Mokona. Like, I like the insights about Fay, but otherwise I'm not really sure what to say. So yeah, I'm not being very helpful. Imma shut up now.

narrow_my_bed March 21 2009, 18:52:25 UTC

That's alright, I don't need all reviews to be nothing but praise, and I really don't think this is one of the best things I've written. Do you mean like, you don't know what to think of Mokona as a character, or the way I've written her here?

000_hester_000 March 21 2009, 20:46:08 UTC

To be honest? Both. I find Mokona pretty confusing in any context.

narrow_my_bed March 21 2009, 20:50:35 UTC

I see. Thanks for the honesty; I do appreciate it. I'm not sure how I could improve the text though, unless you could specify what it is you find off-putting. You don't need to, of course, but if you do end up thinking of something, feel free to tell me.