Wanting Home - for voiceinahead
Title: Wanting Home
Author: angel_in_tears
Recipient: voiceinahead
Rating: PG
Possible Spoilers/Warnings: All of Prince Caspian
Summary: Susan didn’t want to be back in Narnia. She wanted to be home.
Author Note Thank you to my amazing beta. TO the recipient - I’m sorry I couldn’t work on your first prompt, but I hope this one is okay!
Wanting Home
She had been happy at first. It was a delight to be back here again, to smell the air of Narnia. It was the first time her heart had felt at peace for months. But it only lasted a moment before the logical part of her began to question things.
Why now? A year had passed since they had returned and Susan had only just begun to lock Narnia out of her heart. It had been a painful process. She never wanted to forget, but it hurt too much to remember. It hurt too much to think that they might never go back, but then it hurt more to think that they would go back just to leave again. She had even begun to participate in life in England again. She even had a boyfriend. For the first time, she had started to smile again.
The others never questioned it. Lucy and Edmund were excited and happy, always they had assumed that they would return one day and they revelled in the feeling of it. Peter was happy too, but quieter, he still held a lot of anger and resentment that it had taken so long. Susan sighed. She might as well get used to it, while it lasts.
Her heart had lifted again when they found that the chamber that had held their most precious treasure still stood. Even better, it had been untouched during the battle. It was strange to look at herself as a woman, a Queen. She didn’t feel like that anymore. She searched through her treasures and frowned. She had managed to find a dress to change into and even her bow and arrows, but the horn was gone. She must have left it on her saddle when they went back.
When they saw the dwarf being lifted in the boat, her heart had stopped. What were Telmarines doing there, so close to Cair Paravel, even if it was in ruins? Her hand reached back and she grabbed an arrow, fitting it to the bow with ease, while yelling for the Telmarines to drop him. The first arrow she fired into the boat, while the second hit one of the men in the leg.
She stood watch, ready to fire again as Peter and Edmund raced to rescue the dwarf from the water. The ease with which she had fallen back into familiarity with her bow and arrows surprised her and she felt guilty. She didn’t want this life, she enjoyed England now. She just wanted to be home. Yet still she smiled as Peter and Edmund came back to them, Lucy racing forward to help.
With the dwarf’s help, they began to head for the Narnians. Apparently a ‘Prince Caspian’ had offered to give the Narnians back their land, if they would only help him reclaim his throne in Telmar. Peter argued with them all along the way - he remembered the ways of a Narnia that was now lost to them. Everything was changed, and so the land was not what they were used to.
She stayed quiet for most of their travels, determined not to fall back in love. It would just be another heartache that she couldn’t bear. She didn’t pay attention of where they travelled, not to the beautiful scenery around her, nor to the conversations her siblings had. The trees were silent and this helped. Even when Lucy was talking to her by the fire, her mind was on England. On home. And then Edmund woke her up, Peter and Lucy were gone, and he could hear swords clashing.
As they tore over the hill, Susan’s heart leapt into her mouth. Peter and Lucy were surrounded by Narnians, and a strange boy was holding Peter’s sword. His clear gaze swept over her and she felt her heart weaken, her resolve weaken. She shook her head and looked to Peter, for what they would do next. They followed the Narnians to their home, their hideout. Her resolve melted again when the centaurs lined up to give them a guard of honour.
In the days that followed, Susan started to fall in love with Narnia again. The carvings on the wall, the stone table, Caspian. Even preparing for battle was a ritual she had missed. She helped teach some of the Narnians archery and talked more with Caspian. They had been preparing for days when she realised that she hadn’t thought of England once. She hadn’t thought of her boyfriend or her home.
The battle was hectic and scary and she didn’t know if she would forgive the stubbornness of Peter or Caspian in the days that followed. So many died, so many that shouldn’t have. After Miraz escaped, they would have been best in leaving, but Peter wouldn’t be persuaded. Then there was the drama with the white witch, and Lucy was almost killed.
Finally, they decided that she would travel with Lucy to find Aslan, while Peter would challenge Miraz to single combat. A delaying tactic, it was all they could come up with. Susan’s heart constricted with fear at the thought of leaving them behind, of not being there to make sure they were okay. But she knew that if she didn’t go with Lucy then Lucy would be unprotected. Even if they did try to sneak away, there were sure to be Telmarines that would spot them. Lucy would need her.
They rode out early, after a brief talk with Caspian. He had offered her the horn back and she had told him to keep it in case he needed to call her again. Susan blushed at the memory. For the first part of their trip she’d had no end of teasing from Lucy about it. It had got so bad that at they didn’t even notice the sound of hooves and shouting behind them until it was almost too late.
She looked back at them and realised that the Telmarines were gaining and would have them before they had got very far at this rate. Her stomach twisted and she knew that there was only one option left. There was only one way that Lucy would have a hope of finding Aslan. She would have to go on without Susan.
As they charged into a clearing, Susan quickly pulled on the reins, and vaulted off the horse. Lucy didn’t understand what was going on and Susan had to get her out of there quickly. Slapping the back of the horse, she readied her bow and arrow, only looking back at Lucy once. This could be the last time I’ll ever see her, she thought. Her last thought before the Telmarines rode over the ridge, was wondering what she would do if she died here. What happened to her back in England?
Then the Telmarines tore over the ridge and she didn’t think anymore, she just aimed and fired, taking one after another down. It was all going well until suddenly a horse charged her and then another knocked her down. A Telmarine was bearing down on her, sword at the ready. She tried to close her eyes, tried to think of England, of her siblings, of Caspian but all she could see was the sword.
Suddenly, Caspian came charging out of the trees and attacked the Telmarine riding towards her. He managed to knock him off his horse and rode up to her with his hand out, a smile on his face. Her heart warmed immediately and she quickly pulled herself up behind him. They rode quickly, finding Peter and Miraz locked in battle, though a respite was called just as they arrived.
Susan rushed to Peter and hugged him, not realising his arm was injured. She smiled at Edmund and Caspian briefly and then ran up to the wall. The battle that followed seemed to go on forever, the treachery of the Telmarines, and then the awakening of the trees and the River God. Finally, they stood victorious in front of Aslan.
The days that followed passed in a blur. There was the parade, and Caspian was crowned King of Telmar and Narnia. There was the long talk with Aslan and Peter. She wished that she had never come back, that she had never allowed her heart to feel. She would have to leave, and would never return to Narnia. She would never return to Caspian.
Aslan offered the Telmarines a choice - to stay there and live in peace with the Narnians, or to go to a new land, a place that their ancestors had come from. While some took the choice, most were scared and it was then that Peter looked at Susan, and she knew their time was up. Edmund and Lucy didn’t understand, but they followed Peter and Susan and said goodbye to everyone. Peter left Caspian his sword.
When it came to Susan’s turn to say goodbye to Caspian, she thought her heart would finally shatter. Tears shone in her eyes, but she would not let them fall. She was a Queen. She would be strong like a Queen. When she looked into his eyes, her resolve fell and she reached up and kissed him. It was a goodbye kiss, a goodbye to Caspian, a goodbye to Narnia. Caspian personified Narnia for her. Everything that she wanted, and yet everything that she couldn’t have.
As they walked through the tree, Susan refused to turn around, to look back. If she did, she would never be able to leave.
She walked through, back into the train station.
She was home.
Original prompt we sent you:
What I want: Both these are mainly in movie verse, but I've read the books too, so you can go through there also.
If the writer is okay with writing slash, I'd love to see the missing make-up scene after the fight at the well that turns everything to gold (VotDT), as in the movie-verse there's no apologies or anything really and Lucy just walks away.
But if slash is not the writer's cup of tea, I'd very much like to hear a realistic, not-too-romantic version of why Susan kissed Caspian in the end even though she knew she was leaving for good, it would go even more interesting if Susan already had a boyfriend of sorts in England and she still dallied a little with Caspian. Since Susan seems the most grown-up and nearly annoyed at being in Narnia again in "Prince Caspian", I'd like to hear what were her thoughts.
So, the writer is free to choose which is more inspiring! Thank you! ;)
Prompt words/objects/quotes/whatever:
Prompts for Edmund and Caspian: my king, guilt, crush, apologies, anger, pride
Prompts for Susan and Caspian: guilt, queen, a good girl, home, real love,
What I definitely don't want in my fic: please, no established relationships unless they've been established in the books/films (excluding the idea I had about Susan already having a boyfriend ofc) and I don't really like to read overly extreme violent stuff :)
Author: angel_in_tears
Recipient: voiceinahead
Rating: PG
Possible Spoilers/Warnings: All of Prince Caspian
Summary: Susan didn’t want to be back in Narnia. She wanted to be home.
Author Note Thank you to my amazing beta. TO the recipient - I’m sorry I couldn’t work on your first prompt, but I hope this one is okay!
Wanting Home
She had been happy at first. It was a delight to be back here again, to smell the air of Narnia. It was the first time her heart had felt at peace for months. But it only lasted a moment before the logical part of her began to question things.
Why now? A year had passed since they had returned and Susan had only just begun to lock Narnia out of her heart. It had been a painful process. She never wanted to forget, but it hurt too much to remember. It hurt too much to think that they might never go back, but then it hurt more to think that they would go back just to leave again. She had even begun to participate in life in England again. She even had a boyfriend. For the first time, she had started to smile again.
The others never questioned it. Lucy and Edmund were excited and happy, always they had assumed that they would return one day and they revelled in the feeling of it. Peter was happy too, but quieter, he still held a lot of anger and resentment that it had taken so long. Susan sighed. She might as well get used to it, while it lasts.
Her heart had lifted again when they found that the chamber that had held their most precious treasure still stood. Even better, it had been untouched during the battle. It was strange to look at herself as a woman, a Queen. She didn’t feel like that anymore. She searched through her treasures and frowned. She had managed to find a dress to change into and even her bow and arrows, but the horn was gone. She must have left it on her saddle when they went back.
When they saw the dwarf being lifted in the boat, her heart had stopped. What were Telmarines doing there, so close to Cair Paravel, even if it was in ruins? Her hand reached back and she grabbed an arrow, fitting it to the bow with ease, while yelling for the Telmarines to drop him. The first arrow she fired into the boat, while the second hit one of the men in the leg.
She stood watch, ready to fire again as Peter and Edmund raced to rescue the dwarf from the water. The ease with which she had fallen back into familiarity with her bow and arrows surprised her and she felt guilty. She didn’t want this life, she enjoyed England now. She just wanted to be home. Yet still she smiled as Peter and Edmund came back to them, Lucy racing forward to help.
With the dwarf’s help, they began to head for the Narnians. Apparently a ‘Prince Caspian’ had offered to give the Narnians back their land, if they would only help him reclaim his throne in Telmar. Peter argued with them all along the way - he remembered the ways of a Narnia that was now lost to them. Everything was changed, and so the land was not what they were used to.
She stayed quiet for most of their travels, determined not to fall back in love. It would just be another heartache that she couldn’t bear. She didn’t pay attention of where they travelled, not to the beautiful scenery around her, nor to the conversations her siblings had. The trees were silent and this helped. Even when Lucy was talking to her by the fire, her mind was on England. On home. And then Edmund woke her up, Peter and Lucy were gone, and he could hear swords clashing.
As they tore over the hill, Susan’s heart leapt into her mouth. Peter and Lucy were surrounded by Narnians, and a strange boy was holding Peter’s sword. His clear gaze swept over her and she felt her heart weaken, her resolve weaken. She shook her head and looked to Peter, for what they would do next. They followed the Narnians to their home, their hideout. Her resolve melted again when the centaurs lined up to give them a guard of honour.
In the days that followed, Susan started to fall in love with Narnia again. The carvings on the wall, the stone table, Caspian. Even preparing for battle was a ritual she had missed. She helped teach some of the Narnians archery and talked more with Caspian. They had been preparing for days when she realised that she hadn’t thought of England once. She hadn’t thought of her boyfriend or her home.
The battle was hectic and scary and she didn’t know if she would forgive the stubbornness of Peter or Caspian in the days that followed. So many died, so many that shouldn’t have. After Miraz escaped, they would have been best in leaving, but Peter wouldn’t be persuaded. Then there was the drama with the white witch, and Lucy was almost killed.
Finally, they decided that she would travel with Lucy to find Aslan, while Peter would challenge Miraz to single combat. A delaying tactic, it was all they could come up with. Susan’s heart constricted with fear at the thought of leaving them behind, of not being there to make sure they were okay. But she knew that if she didn’t go with Lucy then Lucy would be unprotected. Even if they did try to sneak away, there were sure to be Telmarines that would spot them. Lucy would need her.
They rode out early, after a brief talk with Caspian. He had offered her the horn back and she had told him to keep it in case he needed to call her again. Susan blushed at the memory. For the first part of their trip she’d had no end of teasing from Lucy about it. It had got so bad that at they didn’t even notice the sound of hooves and shouting behind them until it was almost too late.
She looked back at them and realised that the Telmarines were gaining and would have them before they had got very far at this rate. Her stomach twisted and she knew that there was only one option left. There was only one way that Lucy would have a hope of finding Aslan. She would have to go on without Susan.
As they charged into a clearing, Susan quickly pulled on the reins, and vaulted off the horse. Lucy didn’t understand what was going on and Susan had to get her out of there quickly. Slapping the back of the horse, she readied her bow and arrow, only looking back at Lucy once. This could be the last time I’ll ever see her, she thought. Her last thought before the Telmarines rode over the ridge, was wondering what she would do if she died here. What happened to her back in England?
Then the Telmarines tore over the ridge and she didn’t think anymore, she just aimed and fired, taking one after another down. It was all going well until suddenly a horse charged her and then another knocked her down. A Telmarine was bearing down on her, sword at the ready. She tried to close her eyes, tried to think of England, of her siblings, of Caspian but all she could see was the sword.
Suddenly, Caspian came charging out of the trees and attacked the Telmarine riding towards her. He managed to knock him off his horse and rode up to her with his hand out, a smile on his face. Her heart warmed immediately and she quickly pulled herself up behind him. They rode quickly, finding Peter and Miraz locked in battle, though a respite was called just as they arrived.
Susan rushed to Peter and hugged him, not realising his arm was injured. She smiled at Edmund and Caspian briefly and then ran up to the wall. The battle that followed seemed to go on forever, the treachery of the Telmarines, and then the awakening of the trees and the River God. Finally, they stood victorious in front of Aslan.
The days that followed passed in a blur. There was the parade, and Caspian was crowned King of Telmar and Narnia. There was the long talk with Aslan and Peter. She wished that she had never come back, that she had never allowed her heart to feel. She would have to leave, and would never return to Narnia. She would never return to Caspian.
Aslan offered the Telmarines a choice - to stay there and live in peace with the Narnians, or to go to a new land, a place that their ancestors had come from. While some took the choice, most were scared and it was then that Peter looked at Susan, and she knew their time was up. Edmund and Lucy didn’t understand, but they followed Peter and Susan and said goodbye to everyone. Peter left Caspian his sword.
When it came to Susan’s turn to say goodbye to Caspian, she thought her heart would finally shatter. Tears shone in her eyes, but she would not let them fall. She was a Queen. She would be strong like a Queen. When she looked into his eyes, her resolve fell and she reached up and kissed him. It was a goodbye kiss, a goodbye to Caspian, a goodbye to Narnia. Caspian personified Narnia for her. Everything that she wanted, and yet everything that she couldn’t have.
As they walked through the tree, Susan refused to turn around, to look back. If she did, she would never be able to leave.
She walked through, back into the train station.
She was home.
Original prompt we sent you:
What I want: Both these are mainly in movie verse, but I've read the books too, so you can go through there also.
If the writer is okay with writing slash, I'd love to see the missing make-up scene after the fight at the well that turns everything to gold (VotDT), as in the movie-verse there's no apologies or anything really and Lucy just walks away.
But if slash is not the writer's cup of tea, I'd very much like to hear a realistic, not-too-romantic version of why Susan kissed Caspian in the end even though she knew she was leaving for good, it would go even more interesting if Susan already had a boyfriend of sorts in England and she still dallied a little with Caspian. Since Susan seems the most grown-up and nearly annoyed at being in Narnia again in "Prince Caspian", I'd like to hear what were her thoughts.
So, the writer is free to choose which is more inspiring! Thank you! ;)
Prompt words/objects/quotes/whatever:
Prompts for Edmund and Caspian: my king, guilt, crush, apologies, anger, pride
Prompts for Susan and Caspian: guilt, queen, a good girl, home, real love,
What I definitely don't want in my fic: please, no established relationships unless they've been established in the books/films (excluding the idea I had about Susan already having a boyfriend ofc) and I don't really like to read overly extreme violent stuff :)