(Re)learning the beauty of family - for be_themoon
Title: (Re)learning the beauty of family
Author: charlies_dragon
Recipient: be_themoon
Rating: G
Possible Spoilers/Warnings: Prince Caspian (movie)
Summary: "Edmund, do you get the feeling that somewhere on our way from Cair Paravel to here, we took a wrong turn? That something should have happened to us or with us before we even met up with Caspian and his army?"
~*~*~
dis.so.nance [dis-uh-n¬uh-ns]
- noun
inharmonious or harsh sound; discord; cacophony. disagreement or incongruity.
~*~*~
Dusk was creeping in, and with it came shadows that reminded Edmund of times long past> He was returning from Miraz's camp with Miraz's acceptance of a one on one duel with Peter on the morrow when Lucy met him just inside the entrance of Aslan's How and greeted him with a pensive air about her and quietly walked with him on his way deeper into the How. No more than a handful of steps went passed before Lucy spoke.
"Edmund, do you get the feeling that somewhere on our way from Cair Paravel to here, we took a wrong turn? That something should have happened to us or with us before we even met up with Caspian and his army?" Lucy asked.
"Sometimes Lu, but we have just been yanked out of jolly old England where we were finally getting used to being us and not royalty again when we found ourselves back here. Maybe it's just us remembering how things were during our reign instead of trying to learn how they are now." He replied quietly, not looking at Lucy as he spoke, trying his best to sound as if he believed what he was saying and not falling apart inside with the same feeling of displacement that she had brought up.
"I suppose so. You don't think that Peter might lose the duel with Miraz, do you?"
"Of course not, this is Peter we're talking about. Only Oreius & I could beat him, remember?"
"And the Witch."
"That was before he'd had any proper training, and anyway, she didn't beat him, only nearly."
"You know she would have if it had taken Aslan and the rest of the animals a moment or two longer to get to the battle."
"Luckily for us it didn't so it's a moot point. Anyway, thre's no point wondering about "what if's", they'll only drive you mad with the possibilities. Trust me, I know."
With that, they walked on in a silence that wasn't quite companionable until Lucy couldn't keep bare it any longer.
"It's just that Peter has had all of this training and has all of this experience, but he was only ever Peter the Magnificent, the King who never lost a duel when his body was older than he, than we all are now. He lost a lot of fights before he got to that point, even if they were only practice fights, and if we had the bodies now that we did when we left Narnia the first time, you'd see the scars that those 'practice' fights left on the both of you."
Edmund didn't reply, as he too had been thinking along those lines and to hear Lucy utter them didn't help his sense of unease over the coming duel. When they reached Edmund's chamber, which wasn't really a chamber rather, a large alcove that Edmund had been given as his own, Lucy kissed his cheek then wrinkled her nose and informed him that he should really take a bath as soon as he could, and left to speak with Trumpkin. After managing to snatch enough water for a wash long enough to get rid of the dust from travelling between camps but not enough to be called a bath, Edmund got changed out of his more ceremonial clothing and into the loosest outfit that he could find and would be able to get away with. Thoughts of Peter's upcoming duel continued to plague him for the whole evening; all of the negative ways that it could end floated through his head and followed him around through dinner and into the night leaving Edmund answering questions in monosyllables and exiting a room or meeting as soon as he could, especially if Peter was there.
~*~*~
Both Lucy and Caspian had noticed how distracted Edmund was, but Lucy knew roughly what was going through her brother's head and she knew that he'd be like this until Peter called for him to help him into his armour tomorrow, so she dismissed Edmund's behaviour in favour of talking to groups of talking beasts and other folk who were in the How, keeping the tension as low as possible and gathering even the most vaguely useful information. Caspian however, didn't know why one of his boyhood heroes was acting so strangely and as the day wore on, found himself watching Edmund more and more, attempting to fathom out this change in behaviour.
Surely King Edmund doesn't think that the High King will lose?
~*~*~
"My apologies, but I fear that I must retire for the night." Edmund said as he rose from his seat at a post-dinner meeting to discuss the re-appropriation of the dwindling rations. When he left the meeting, Caspian, who was still watching Edmund like a hawk, noted that instead of turning right towards the his bed, that Edmund turned left, towards a little known entranceway. The moment that the meeting ended, Caspian made his way to the same entranceway and searched the top of the How by moonlight for the missing monarch.
~*~*~
It took far longer than Caspian expected to find Edmund, and when he did he almost mistook him for part of the scenery, so still was Edmund. If he hadn't been looking up at the moon then Caspian would never have seen the thin tear tracks glistening in the moonlight as they wended their way down Edmund's cheeks.
"Your Highness, is there something wrong? I couldn't help but notice the distance that you have kept between yourself and your brother all day." Caspian asked softly, remembering his lessons in tact in the nick of time to not mention the tears upon the other boy's face.
When Edmund didn't acknowledge Caspian, let alone reply to the question that he'd asked, Caspian moved to stand in front of him, thinking that perhaps Edmund had gotten lost in memories of the past and hadn't heard his quiet question.
"There's no need to move Caspian, I heard you perfectly clearly. I do still have my hearing, even if I am hundreds of years your senior according to Narnian history and Aslan's will." Edmund replied equally as quietly, with no evidence of the tears in his voice but with an edge of age and loss that was so out of sorts with how he looked that Caspian felt himself involuntarily draw back from him.
"I doubt you'd ever truly understand my actions today, even if I did explain them to you." As Edmund spoke he seemed to collapse in on himself under the weight of something Caspian couldn't quite place. Not responsibility but something…other, something at once more important than a King's duties and infinitely more personal and tender than Caspian had ever experienced.
"How can I hope to understand if you don't explain them to me, Your Highness."
"Edmund. Here, it's just Edmund."
"My apologies, Edmund, but please, explain to me why you've been avoiding your brother ever since you got back from Miraz's camp and glancing at him when you think no one's looking, as if to make sure that he is indeed, real."
"On the morrow Peter duels a man who has no compunction about killing family members to gain the throne and yet more power, so why should Miraz honour the traditions of the duel, especially when he has everything to lose if he does follow them? It is not that I don't have faith in Peter's abilities, rather that I know that Peter will honour the traditions of a duel. I don't think he has it in him to fight dirtily enough to match Miraz. It is for these reasons and because Peter is my brother that I have been avoiding him, and that is precisely why you can never fully understand my actions."
"Because I have no siblings to worry about or be cared for by?"
"Exactly."
"Oh. I had thought…never mind."
Caspian hung his head and quietly walked away from Edmund and further out behind a stone outcrop.
The two of them remained on the top of the How in silence for far longer than either had anticipated being outside for, and when the weather turned from fair to a night time summer storm in moments they found themselves battling cramped limbs as well as the elements in a mad dash to the hidden entranceway. After colliding with each other and falling down into the How, landing in a tangle of leaden limbs and catching their breath, Edmund spoke in barely more than a whisper.
"What were you going to say before you walked off earlier?"
"It is nothing, Edmund."
"Oh come on, even in the dark I can see through that one, especially as it's usually me saying that to Peter."
"It is just that I had thought that perhaps, with the way things have gone since the uh, raid on my Uncle's castle, that your siblings and I had become in some small way, like family. Not that we are, but that perhaps you all being true Narnian royalty and I doing my best to some day be Narnian royalty and not just a Telmarine King, had maybe forged a bond between us. But I forget myself." Caspian rambled.
Whilst speaking, Caspian had mostly disentangled himself from Edmund and stood up, promptly leaning against the wall of the How for support as feeling in his right foot came back with a vengeance.
"No, you haven't forgotten yourself Caspian, if either of us has forgotten themselves it is I. I'm all out of sorts and only partly because of Peter's duel." Edmund said as he rose and stretched out a tender calf muscle, aggravated by the tumble in to the dark and Caspian's shoulder bouncing off of it.
"I, I had just gotten used to being back in England and had relegated the idea of ever returning to Narnia to the back of my mind when all of a sudden I'm back here and there's far more expectation on me, on all of us, than I had ever thought of coming back to. In a way, part of me wishes that we'd never come back or that Aslan had returned us here with our adult bodies, but we haven't and here we are." As he had been speaking, Edmund had kept eye contact with Caspian, willing him to understand that he couldn't understand everything that Edmund's saying, but also that he doesn't have to. By dint of him trying to, Caspian has been more of a friend to Edmund than most in the year between his times in Narnia.
"Oh, I think I understand a little. It's sort of like my finding out that my cousins birth was my death sentence and that all I thought I'd known about my family wasn't quite right. I had to re-learn my way of thinking about family without any warning what so ever, and I don't think I've quite finished that re-learning even now." Caspian replied.
Edmund thought about it for a while as he massaged out a few other bumped and bruised muscles and decided that although they weren't the same, they were similar in their disconcerting suddenness that maybe the two of them understood each other a little more than either realised. When the two of them had worked out as many of the kinks in their muscles as they could in a small and barely lit passageway that was only just wide enough for the two of them and the roof of which was too low for Caspian to fully straighten up in, they walked off together in companionable silence towards a better lit section of the How.
~*~*~
"Edmund, it occurs to me that we shouldn't be thinking on such things as how our lives have been upset recently, but rather on how best we can help Peter win the duel tomorrow. Provided that we do our best to help both your brother and the High King to prevail, there will be plenty of time afterwards to re-learn our places in Narnia, and for you, your place in Eng Land."
Startled at the sound of Caspian's voice cutting through the late night quiet, Edmund looked up at his companion and saw only earnestness and friendship in his face.
"Of course," he agreed, "Peter's too stubborn and determined to come this far and lose and to proud to do so in front of us and to a tyrant to boot." Edmund said with a grin on his face.
"I'm glad that we are in agreement." Caspian replied, a small smile forming on his face in response to Edmund's.
As Caspian turned to walk off to his bed for some long overdue sleep, Edmund pulled him back and into a quick hug, the likes of which Caspian had never received before but had seen Peter and Edmund exchange between themselves and their sisters. As Edmund pulled back he spoke, his grin turning mischievous as he did so.
"You do realise that if we are to be as family, that Susan would be your sister, don't you."
At Edmund's words, Caspian felt himself blush a bright red and found himself momentarily unable to speak.
With a light chuckle, Edmund shook his head and walked of to his bed with a sense of harmony about him, as if everything had finally slotted into place and was as it should always have been.
Original Prompt:
What I want: I love love love post-LB AU's, where one or more of the siblings survives the crash with Susan, and they hang out surviving and being awesome and traveling the world and maybe doing some research on how to get back to Narnia. Golden Age fic that shows them as competent badasses, especially with the harder decisions rulers have to make, is always great. Anything set during Prince Caspian (preferably movieverse) about the dissonance of return would be great. Myths and legends as views into their lives! Philosophy and thoughtfulness. I love anything with Susan being amazing, Aslan conspiracy theories, and darker visions of Narnia. I like things that show the Pevensies as a cohesive whole. Any of these, in any variation, is great. In short, have fun! (Re: romance - I will ship almost anything, including incest, but greatly prefer it to be subtextual and not the main point of the story.)
Prompt words/objects/quotes/whatever: "Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as real strength." -Frances de Sales. "We too often bind ourselves by authorities rather than by the truth." -Lucretia Mott. traveling, all the colors of the world, relearning beauty. These photos.
What I definitely don't want in my fic: Susan being misguided/evil, Lucy being dumb/perpetually childish, entirely innocent stuff, fluff, character bashing or any kind, Aslan as perfect, porn.
Author: charlies_dragon
Recipient: be_themoon
Rating: G
Possible Spoilers/Warnings: Prince Caspian (movie)
Summary: "Edmund, do you get the feeling that somewhere on our way from Cair Paravel to here, we took a wrong turn? That something should have happened to us or with us before we even met up with Caspian and his army?"
~*~*~
dis.so.nance [dis-uh-n¬uh-ns]
- noun
inharmonious or harsh sound; discord; cacophony. disagreement or incongruity.
~*~*~
Dusk was creeping in, and with it came shadows that reminded Edmund of times long past> He was returning from Miraz's camp with Miraz's acceptance of a one on one duel with Peter on the morrow when Lucy met him just inside the entrance of Aslan's How and greeted him with a pensive air about her and quietly walked with him on his way deeper into the How. No more than a handful of steps went passed before Lucy spoke.
"Edmund, do you get the feeling that somewhere on our way from Cair Paravel to here, we took a wrong turn? That something should have happened to us or with us before we even met up with Caspian and his army?" Lucy asked.
"Sometimes Lu, but we have just been yanked out of jolly old England where we were finally getting used to being us and not royalty again when we found ourselves back here. Maybe it's just us remembering how things were during our reign instead of trying to learn how they are now." He replied quietly, not looking at Lucy as he spoke, trying his best to sound as if he believed what he was saying and not falling apart inside with the same feeling of displacement that she had brought up.
"I suppose so. You don't think that Peter might lose the duel with Miraz, do you?"
"Of course not, this is Peter we're talking about. Only Oreius & I could beat him, remember?"
"And the Witch."
"That was before he'd had any proper training, and anyway, she didn't beat him, only nearly."
"You know she would have if it had taken Aslan and the rest of the animals a moment or two longer to get to the battle."
"Luckily for us it didn't so it's a moot point. Anyway, thre's no point wondering about "what if's", they'll only drive you mad with the possibilities. Trust me, I know."
With that, they walked on in a silence that wasn't quite companionable until Lucy couldn't keep bare it any longer.
"It's just that Peter has had all of this training and has all of this experience, but he was only ever Peter the Magnificent, the King who never lost a duel when his body was older than he, than we all are now. He lost a lot of fights before he got to that point, even if they were only practice fights, and if we had the bodies now that we did when we left Narnia the first time, you'd see the scars that those 'practice' fights left on the both of you."
Edmund didn't reply, as he too had been thinking along those lines and to hear Lucy utter them didn't help his sense of unease over the coming duel. When they reached Edmund's chamber, which wasn't really a chamber rather, a large alcove that Edmund had been given as his own, Lucy kissed his cheek then wrinkled her nose and informed him that he should really take a bath as soon as he could, and left to speak with Trumpkin. After managing to snatch enough water for a wash long enough to get rid of the dust from travelling between camps but not enough to be called a bath, Edmund got changed out of his more ceremonial clothing and into the loosest outfit that he could find and would be able to get away with. Thoughts of Peter's upcoming duel continued to plague him for the whole evening; all of the negative ways that it could end floated through his head and followed him around through dinner and into the night leaving Edmund answering questions in monosyllables and exiting a room or meeting as soon as he could, especially if Peter was there.
~*~*~
Both Lucy and Caspian had noticed how distracted Edmund was, but Lucy knew roughly what was going through her brother's head and she knew that he'd be like this until Peter called for him to help him into his armour tomorrow, so she dismissed Edmund's behaviour in favour of talking to groups of talking beasts and other folk who were in the How, keeping the tension as low as possible and gathering even the most vaguely useful information. Caspian however, didn't know why one of his boyhood heroes was acting so strangely and as the day wore on, found himself watching Edmund more and more, attempting to fathom out this change in behaviour.
Surely King Edmund doesn't think that the High King will lose?
~*~*~
"My apologies, but I fear that I must retire for the night." Edmund said as he rose from his seat at a post-dinner meeting to discuss the re-appropriation of the dwindling rations. When he left the meeting, Caspian, who was still watching Edmund like a hawk, noted that instead of turning right towards the his bed, that Edmund turned left, towards a little known entranceway. The moment that the meeting ended, Caspian made his way to the same entranceway and searched the top of the How by moonlight for the missing monarch.
~*~*~
It took far longer than Caspian expected to find Edmund, and when he did he almost mistook him for part of the scenery, so still was Edmund. If he hadn't been looking up at the moon then Caspian would never have seen the thin tear tracks glistening in the moonlight as they wended their way down Edmund's cheeks.
"Your Highness, is there something wrong? I couldn't help but notice the distance that you have kept between yourself and your brother all day." Caspian asked softly, remembering his lessons in tact in the nick of time to not mention the tears upon the other boy's face.
When Edmund didn't acknowledge Caspian, let alone reply to the question that he'd asked, Caspian moved to stand in front of him, thinking that perhaps Edmund had gotten lost in memories of the past and hadn't heard his quiet question.
"There's no need to move Caspian, I heard you perfectly clearly. I do still have my hearing, even if I am hundreds of years your senior according to Narnian history and Aslan's will." Edmund replied equally as quietly, with no evidence of the tears in his voice but with an edge of age and loss that was so out of sorts with how he looked that Caspian felt himself involuntarily draw back from him.
"I doubt you'd ever truly understand my actions today, even if I did explain them to you." As Edmund spoke he seemed to collapse in on himself under the weight of something Caspian couldn't quite place. Not responsibility but something…other, something at once more important than a King's duties and infinitely more personal and tender than Caspian had ever experienced.
"How can I hope to understand if you don't explain them to me, Your Highness."
"Edmund. Here, it's just Edmund."
"My apologies, Edmund, but please, explain to me why you've been avoiding your brother ever since you got back from Miraz's camp and glancing at him when you think no one's looking, as if to make sure that he is indeed, real."
"On the morrow Peter duels a man who has no compunction about killing family members to gain the throne and yet more power, so why should Miraz honour the traditions of the duel, especially when he has everything to lose if he does follow them? It is not that I don't have faith in Peter's abilities, rather that I know that Peter will honour the traditions of a duel. I don't think he has it in him to fight dirtily enough to match Miraz. It is for these reasons and because Peter is my brother that I have been avoiding him, and that is precisely why you can never fully understand my actions."
"Because I have no siblings to worry about or be cared for by?"
"Exactly."
"Oh. I had thought…never mind."
Caspian hung his head and quietly walked away from Edmund and further out behind a stone outcrop.
The two of them remained on the top of the How in silence for far longer than either had anticipated being outside for, and when the weather turned from fair to a night time summer storm in moments they found themselves battling cramped limbs as well as the elements in a mad dash to the hidden entranceway. After colliding with each other and falling down into the How, landing in a tangle of leaden limbs and catching their breath, Edmund spoke in barely more than a whisper.
"What were you going to say before you walked off earlier?"
"It is nothing, Edmund."
"Oh come on, even in the dark I can see through that one, especially as it's usually me saying that to Peter."
"It is just that I had thought that perhaps, with the way things have gone since the uh, raid on my Uncle's castle, that your siblings and I had become in some small way, like family. Not that we are, but that perhaps you all being true Narnian royalty and I doing my best to some day be Narnian royalty and not just a Telmarine King, had maybe forged a bond between us. But I forget myself." Caspian rambled.
Whilst speaking, Caspian had mostly disentangled himself from Edmund and stood up, promptly leaning against the wall of the How for support as feeling in his right foot came back with a vengeance.
"No, you haven't forgotten yourself Caspian, if either of us has forgotten themselves it is I. I'm all out of sorts and only partly because of Peter's duel." Edmund said as he rose and stretched out a tender calf muscle, aggravated by the tumble in to the dark and Caspian's shoulder bouncing off of it.
"I, I had just gotten used to being back in England and had relegated the idea of ever returning to Narnia to the back of my mind when all of a sudden I'm back here and there's far more expectation on me, on all of us, than I had ever thought of coming back to. In a way, part of me wishes that we'd never come back or that Aslan had returned us here with our adult bodies, but we haven't and here we are." As he had been speaking, Edmund had kept eye contact with Caspian, willing him to understand that he couldn't understand everything that Edmund's saying, but also that he doesn't have to. By dint of him trying to, Caspian has been more of a friend to Edmund than most in the year between his times in Narnia.
"Oh, I think I understand a little. It's sort of like my finding out that my cousins birth was my death sentence and that all I thought I'd known about my family wasn't quite right. I had to re-learn my way of thinking about family without any warning what so ever, and I don't think I've quite finished that re-learning even now." Caspian replied.
Edmund thought about it for a while as he massaged out a few other bumped and bruised muscles and decided that although they weren't the same, they were similar in their disconcerting suddenness that maybe the two of them understood each other a little more than either realised. When the two of them had worked out as many of the kinks in their muscles as they could in a small and barely lit passageway that was only just wide enough for the two of them and the roof of which was too low for Caspian to fully straighten up in, they walked off together in companionable silence towards a better lit section of the How.
~*~*~
"Edmund, it occurs to me that we shouldn't be thinking on such things as how our lives have been upset recently, but rather on how best we can help Peter win the duel tomorrow. Provided that we do our best to help both your brother and the High King to prevail, there will be plenty of time afterwards to re-learn our places in Narnia, and for you, your place in Eng Land."
Startled at the sound of Caspian's voice cutting through the late night quiet, Edmund looked up at his companion and saw only earnestness and friendship in his face.
"Of course," he agreed, "Peter's too stubborn and determined to come this far and lose and to proud to do so in front of us and to a tyrant to boot." Edmund said with a grin on his face.
"I'm glad that we are in agreement." Caspian replied, a small smile forming on his face in response to Edmund's.
As Caspian turned to walk off to his bed for some long overdue sleep, Edmund pulled him back and into a quick hug, the likes of which Caspian had never received before but had seen Peter and Edmund exchange between themselves and their sisters. As Edmund pulled back he spoke, his grin turning mischievous as he did so.
"You do realise that if we are to be as family, that Susan would be your sister, don't you."
At Edmund's words, Caspian felt himself blush a bright red and found himself momentarily unable to speak.
With a light chuckle, Edmund shook his head and walked of to his bed with a sense of harmony about him, as if everything had finally slotted into place and was as it should always have been.
Original Prompt:
What I want: I love love love post-LB AU's, where one or more of the siblings survives the crash with Susan, and they hang out surviving and being awesome and traveling the world and maybe doing some research on how to get back to Narnia. Golden Age fic that shows them as competent badasses, especially with the harder decisions rulers have to make, is always great. Anything set during Prince Caspian (preferably movieverse) about the dissonance of return would be great. Myths and legends as views into their lives! Philosophy and thoughtfulness. I love anything with Susan being amazing, Aslan conspiracy theories, and darker visions of Narnia. I like things that show the Pevensies as a cohesive whole. Any of these, in any variation, is great. In short, have fun! (Re: romance - I will ship almost anything, including incest, but greatly prefer it to be subtextual and not the main point of the story.)
Prompt words/objects/quotes/whatever: "Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as real strength." -Frances de Sales. "We too often bind ourselves by authorities rather than by the truth." -Lucretia Mott. traveling, all the colors of the world, relearning beauty. These photos.
What I definitely don't want in my fic: Susan being misguided/evil, Lucy being dumb/perpetually childish, entirely innocent stuff, fluff, character bashing or any kind, Aslan as perfect, porn.